The Lives We Lead
by Nikki Cee
Summary: AU - Naomi is sent to a Catholic school by her mother in a last attempt to set her straight and keep her out of trouble...
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Notes:**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Skins or the characters mentioned in the story.

**Rating: **I'll go with M (Just incase) for swearing, drug use, some violence and sex scenes

**Pairing: **Naomi and Emily.

**Summary:**

**Naomi is sent to a Catholic school by her mother in a last attempt to set her straight and keep her out of trouble...**

**Story told from Naomi's point of view.**

**The Lives We Lead**

**Part I**

"Naomi. Principles office. NOW."

"What the fuck did I do?"

"You know the rules. No smoking on school property and for God's sake TUCK in your shirt."

"Yes Miss." I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

I fucking hate Catholic school. Mum sent me here in the hopes it would straighten me out. She reckons I've been getting into too much trouble so this is like the last option… It fucking sucks BIG time. They don't let you do anything here plus I have to wear a stupid fucking uniform. Thank God we get to choose though because there is no way that I am wearing a skirt; I do admit with a huge smile, the girls here look quite um... sexy, so I guess there's an upside. The only thing though, because I choose to wear slacks, I have to wear a fucking tie as well. Oh and if you want to put your hair up, the scrunchie HAS to be in the school colours. I look like a right twat. I have navy blue slacks on, a white shirt and a maroon blazer. The school emblem is yellow which means my tie is navy with yellow and maroon strips. Fucking embarrassing.

"Naomi, the principles office is that way."

"Yeah I know." I shouted back as I walked out through the school gates.

Fuck that. I'm going home. I already know what the principles going to say. 'Now Miss Campbell, I know you are new here but you have been here long enough to know the school rules so unfortunately I'm going to have to give you detention'. They're a bunch of fuck-ing wankers, the lot of them. I took my tie off and placed it into my pocket as I walked down the street in the direction of home.

"Fuck sake." I said annoyed.

"I'm, I'm sorry. I, I didn't see you."

I sighed heavily. A girl came running around the corner knocking into me and dropping her books all over the footpath.

"It's okay yeah. Don't worry about it… here let me help you."

I bent down and helped the girl pick up her books. She stood up looking at me all shy.

"Um… Thank you."

"Hey don't I know you?" I asked as I passed over her books.

"We have english together."

"Really?"

She nodded and looked down at her feet.

"Aren't you a bit late for school?" I asked.

"I… yes. I had a doctor's appointment."

"Fair enough… well anyways, I gotta go. See ya round yeah." I replied.

All she did was smile. I continued on my way. I don't know why but I couldn't help but turn back around and have another look at her. She was cute. That red hair was just… wow and not to mention the way she looked in that skirt with her knee high socks. I dunno, far out, she could model that uniform… She was still standing there and caught my second glance. I saw her face blush and she turned her gaze away but she didn't move.

(Fuck it.)

"Hey, you wanna go and do something?"

She turned back towards me as I made my way towards her. She looked confused.

"You don't REALLY want to go to school do you?" I asked.

"I have to… if my mum finds out I didn't go, she'll ground me for weeks."

"How she gonna know?"

"The school rings the parents." She replied.

"Are you fucking serious?"

She nodded.

"Not to worry. I'll sort it." I replied with a cheeky grin.

I grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the direction I was going.

"I'll hold those… we'll leave them at my place yeah." I said taking her books from her hands.

"Your place?" She asked nervously.

"Yep, you don't expect me to walk around like this all fucking day do you?" I smirked referring to my uniform.

She chuckled. We walked towards the train station and I stopped us by the pay phones. I had forgotten my phone at home.

"What's the school number?"

She opened a page of her school diary and placed it on the little shelf underneath the phone. I put the last of my coins in the slot and dialed the number…

"Fuck, what's ya name?"

"Emily."

"Emily who?"

"Fitch."

"What's your mum's?"

"Jenna."

There was a slight pause. I cleared my throat and got ready to put on a convincing 'motherly' tone.

"Yes hello. Who am I speaking to?"

"Miss Annetta Sandford."

"Hello Miss Sandford. This is Jenna Fitch speaking, Emily's mother.

"Good morning Mrs. Fitch. What can I do for you?"

"I would like to inform you that Emily is feeling under the weather. She will be having the rest of the week off."

"That's not a problem Mrs. Fitch. Thank you for the call. You have a lovely day."

"You too."

I hung up the phone and chuckled lightly. Way too easy. I turned to face Emily who had gone completely pale.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't take the rest of the week off. My mum will find out. What the hell am I suppose to do for the next two days? She doesn't work. She's always home." She replied panicked.

"Don't worry about it. You get up as if you're going to school and come over to mine. See, problem solved."

She stopped to think for a moment. She opened her mouth a few times to say something but nothing came out.

"If you don't want to, that's cool. You can always go back tomorrow and just say you feel better…" I said calmly.

"Okay." She replied shyly. "I'll take the rest of the week off."

"Cool. It's sorted then. Come on let's go."

I picked up her school diary and placed it under my arm with the rest of her books as we continued on to the platform. The train was two minutes away.

"Um, I don't have any money."

"For?" I asked.

"A ticket."

"That's okay. Neither do I." I smirked.

We boarded the train and took a seat right at the back on the last carriage.

"So… so what are we going to do?"

"Huh?" I asked.

I was distracted by the ticket collector who was making his way up the carriage.

"Today… what are we doing?"

"Ahh dunno yet… we'll see what the day brings." I replied grinning. "Emily?"  
>"Yes?"<p>

"Can you run?"

"Yeah, why?"

The train pulled into the station but my stop was the next one. It didn't matter though even if it was an extra 15 minute walk. Preferred that then getting a fine and for some reason I didn't want Emily to get one either. Her mum would know she was wagging school.

(So? You hardly know her… why do you care?)

I brushed the thought away as I saw the ticket guy walking up to us. He was grinning like he KNEW that we didn't have a ticket. Like he GETS OFF by giving people a fine.

"Tickets please."

As he said that, the train had come to a stop. The automatic doors opened and I grabbed Emily's hand and we bolted through the door. I had swung her in front of me because I was worried that he'd grab her but he ended up grabbing me. I let go of Emily's hand and spun around and kicked him square in the groin, he just looked back at me in disbelief as he dropped to his knees and cupped his balls. I heard Emily gasp loudly in shock. I gripped her sleeve and forced her to run with me because she appeared to be completely stuck. We ran towards my place for about 5 minutes straight. We both stopped completely breathless. I couldn't help but laugh as I sat on the ground and lit a fag. Bloody hell, you should have seen his face. It was fucking hilarious.

"Hey Ems… Oh sorry. Emily, you want a smoke?"

"I've never… smoked before."

"Well, there's a first time for everything." I said holding out the packet towards her.

She hesitantly stepped over and sat beside me, taking a fag from the packet. I leant over and lit it for her. She inhaled and coughed slightly as she exhaled. I was surprised actually. I was expecting her to have a coughing fit or something but she handled it quite well.

"Naomi, um… why did you kick that man?"

"Duh I didn't want a fine." I replied rolling my eyes.

I turned and looked at her seriously for a moment.

"Hey, how do you know my name? I never said what it was."

She blushed slightly as she took another inexperienced drag from her cigarette.

"Everybody at school knows who you are." She replied.

"Everybody?"

She nodded.

"You're kind of the new bad girl at school now."

"Bad girl?" I laughed. "How did that happen?"

"Well you've only been at our school for two weeks and you've already managed to be sent to the principles office 8 times…"

"13." I replied.

She smiled.

(Bloody hell, she is gorgeous. How did I not notice her before today?)

She caught me staring.

"What? What is it? Do I have something on my face?" She asked slightly panicked.

"No… sorry. You just have really beautiful eyes." I replied.

She blushed again. Isn't she use to getting compliments? In school, she should be in the popular group. She was stunning.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you or anything."

"No it's okay." She replied softly. "It's just… nobody has ever said that to me before, that's all."

"What?" I replied shocked.

"My sister usually gets all the compliments. I'm not sure why, we both kind of look the same."

"Are you twins?"

"Yeah." She replied casting her gaze to the concrete.

Now I see. Emily is obviously the one that gets pushed to the side.

"Well, I reckon you're the hotter twin." I smiled.

She turned and looked up at me seriously. I think I hit a nerve.

"How would you know? You've never met my sister."

She didn't say it in defense of her sister; she said it in more of a way as if she believed that she wasn't attractive.

"I just know." I replied as I stood up.

I extended my hand in her direction for her to take. I helped her up to her feet and walked her towards my house.

"Ems… shit sorry."

"No it's okay. You can call me that."

"Okay, um listen, my mum's home yeah and she's not gonna be too happy with me for ditching school so I want you to like go straight up the stairs into the second door on the right. Just wait for me there."

She nodded. I opened the door and threw a wink over towards Emily. She quickly ran up the stairs quietly like she was scared of getting caught.

"Naomi Campbell. Get your arse in here RIGHT now."

(FUCK)

I walked into the kitchen with my hands in my pocket and dragged my feet to where my mother was sitting.

"Why aren't you at school?" She asked.

"Didn't feel like it."

She sighed heavily.

"The school just called. Swearing at your teachers and not following directives. They threatened to suspend you."

"So?" I shrugged.

"SO? You promised me that you would try harder this time Naomi. We can't keep moving and switching schools. You've only got 2 years left…"

"Mum, seriously I don't really care, ya know."

She just glared at me for a moment.

"You prefer to sneak girls into your room then get an education, is that what you're telling me?"

"What?"

"Naomi since we have been here, you have skipped school and brought home 5 different girls. I don't care that you're gay, you know that but fuck sake Naomi we've only been here for two weeks. Girl number 6 is upstairs."

I went to say something but she cut me off.

"Don't deny it Naomi."

"It's not like that ma, she's just a friend."

"Do you think I was born yesterday? Seriously Naomi, this has got to stop. You are going to get yourself into trouble the way you're going. Find yourself a girlfriend and stop breaking hearts everywhere you go. Don't you care that you hurt people's feelings?"

"Not really. They know what the deal is." I replied honestly.

"Naomi, I raised you better then that…"

"Just leave it yeah. It's my life. I'll do what I want." I replied cutting her off.

I turned to walk away.

"I'm not finished."

I spun around quickly.

"What now?"

"Have you been stealing again?" She accused.

"No."

She squinted at me.

"I haven't." I shot out defensively.

"So how do explain all this then?" She replied.

She lifted up a fist full of cash.

"Fucking hell mum, I told you not to go into my room."

"I also found these."

(Fuck sake, I've got no privacy.)

She lifted up my stash of weed, pills and powders. I walked over to her and snatched my belongings back off her. I walked away pretty pissed off and stomped my way back up the stairs. She followed.

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"Just leave me the fuck alone yeah."

"That's it Naomi. You're grounded."

I scoffed.

"I'm serious. You get that girl out of this house right now. There will be no 'shagging' today my dear."

"PISS OFF." I yelled.

I got to the top of the stairs and entered my bedroom. Emily was sitting on the end of my bed. She looked kind of annoyed. No, pissed. I closed the door behind me and started to quickly get undressed. It didn't bother me that Emily was in the room. I had been naked in front of that many girls it just didn't bother me anymore. It bothered her though, she politely turned away.

"Hey you want something to wear? I'm sure I got something that will fit you."

She frowned at me for a bit. I looked around the room and spotted what I was looking for.

"Here. Try those and then we'll get out of here. My mum's being a bitch."

"No she isn't." Emily replied quickly.

"Huh?"

"I heard."

"Oh… well, she's driving me crazy then. Come on hurry up yeah." I replied quickly.

"Is it true?"  
>"What?"<p>

"That you just brought me here because… you fancied a shag."

"No."

"Are you sure?" She asked as she cocked her eyebrow.

I admit that it did cross my mind but there was something about her that made me think twice… She was a sweet girl and I liked her. I wouldn't tell her that though, but I dunno, she just seemed kind of… special.

"I'm sure… anyway are you even gay?" I responded.

She went bright red.

"You can tell me. It's cool. I mean I am. I'm not gonna judge you or anything."

She nodded slowly. I giggled at how shy she was. It was adorable.

"Naomi, I hope you don't think me as an easy lay…"

"Ems, I swear… it wasn't my intention okay. I just wanted to skip school and I happened to bump into you…"

She paused for a moment before she spoke.

"Good." She replied as she grabbed the clothes from my hands.

Wow is all I have to say. She was fucking beautiful. I couldn't turn my gaze away. I was stunned…

"You're perving."

"Ahhh ohh um sor, sorry yeah." I stammered as I quickly spun around.

(Stupid.)

"Okay ready?" She asked.

"Um yeah, two seconds." I said as I reached over and grabbed my little stash of drugs and money, placing them into the pocket of my jeans.

I walked to the other side of the room and took a bottle of vodka from behind my CD player and walked Emily out of my room.

"Fuck sake mum, what the hell are you doing? Were you listening?"

"I'm serious Naomi, you are grounded."

I ignored her and grabbed Emily's arm.

"Come on let's go."

"You walk out that door you're grounded for a whole fucking month, do you hear me?" My mum shouted out.

"See ya mum… See ya later." I replied.

* * *

><p>I had taken Emily to a park that was about 10 minutes away from where I lived. It was quiet and had plenty of trees. I wanted to smoke a spliff and chill out for a bit without any prying eyes and this place was perfect… We sat down and I took a swig from the bottle of vodka and passed it over to Emily. She looked towards me worriedly. I suspected that she hadn't experienced much in life. I mean it was just vodka…<p>

"Don't you drink?"

"Ah yeah." She replied unconvincingly as she raised the bottle to her mouth.

She coughed from the burning sensation it caused in the back of her throat and her eyes went a little blood shot. Usually I'd be the first to laugh, but I dunno, I didn't want to make her feel bad so I acted as if I hadn't noticed. I pulled out the bag I had and started to roll a spliff.

"You want one?" I asked.

"Can I just maybe have a few drags of yours?"

"Yeah."

I put the spliff to my mouth and lit it. I took two massive drags and held the smoke in my chest for a bit before I released it. I past the spliff over to Emily and she just stared at it for a moment… She didn't know how to do it.

"It's kinda like smoking a fag except try and hold the smoke in your lungs for a bit."

She didn't move.

"Here." I said as I gently took the spliff from her hand. "Watch."

I took another drag and showed her what I meant. She nodded awkwardly and took the spliff from my hands. She did the same thing but as the smoke is a lot thicker and harsher then tobacco she almost coughed up a lung.

"Drink this." I said as I passed her the bottle of vodka.

She raised it to her lips and took a massive gulp.

"Geez Ems, take it easy."

"Sorry." She replied.

"It's okay, don't apologise. It's just, I don't fancy carrying you back home that's all." I replied with a smirk.

"Can I… have another drag?" She asked.

"Yeah course." I replied as I passed it back to her.

I could see that the THC mixed in with the alcohol was starting to affect her. She seemed more relaxed now. She had a few more drags and passed it back to me. Emily looked as if she was ready to pass out so I told her to lie down. I did the same and we just stared up at the blue sky. I turned my head to face her…

"You feeling okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." She smiled goofily.

I couldn't help but laugh. She was so uptight before, shy and nervous. It's funny what a little weed can do…

"Naoms… have you really had 5 girls since you've been here?"

(Naoms huh? That's a new one… I like it though.)

"What?" I replied as I looked over frowning.

"Sor, sorry… I should mind my own business."

"No it's okay… um, well, 5 is all my mum knows about." I giggled.

Emily turned to face me in complete and utter shock.

"How many?"

"I haven't really been counting, but around 9 I think." I replied honestly.

She gasped.

(Me and my big mouth.)

"Do you have a girlfriend?" She asked with an eyebrow cocked.

"Kind of."

"Does she know?"

"Kind of."

"And she's still with you?"

"Kind of."

Emily went completely silent.

"Listen she's not really MY girlfriend, we just always end up together, do you know what I mean?"

She nodded. She seemed embarrassed for some reason.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Oh nothing… why do you sleep with so many girls?"

"I dunno." I shrugged. "I get bored… Hey enough about me yeah, tell me about you."

"What, what do you want to know?"

"I dunno, what's your twin like?"

"Why?" She asked suspiciously.

"Just curious..." I replied.

She paused for a moment and cast her gaze back up towards the sky, sighing heavily.

"She's a bitch."

"How do you mean? Like you seem okay, aren't twins suppose to be similar or something?"

She turned back to face me looking awfully serious.

"We may look alike but that's were it ends. I'm just hers and everybody else's doormat."

I didn't really know what to say. I believed what she was saying but WHAT I couldn't believe is why she was treated that way. She was pretty and I know I only just met her but she seemed kind of cool. Not that it matters what you look like. Nobody deserves to be treated in such a way but I mean in school that's a sure thing to being popular. I've been to that many schools, it's the same everywhere.

"You know, you're the first person to even talk to me without making me feel insignificant."

"What?" I replied in disbelief. "What do you mean?"

"Everybody talks to me like I'm shit, like I'm nothing… They make fun of me."

I laughed. Not because I was being mean. I laughed because there was no way people would make fun of her. It just wouldn't happen… She looked at me as if she was about to cry which made me stop laughing immediately. She stood up and stormed off. I got up slightly panicked and followed.

"Hey wait…" I yelled out as I jogged up towards her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I thought you were having me on."

I felt really fucking bad. I never feel bad. What the hell is going on? This catholic school has made me turn soft.

"Stop, please… I'm sorry."

I placed my hands on both her shoulders.

"I'm sorry." I repeated.

She nodded quickly as she wiped the tears from her eyes. I extended my hand and waited for her to take it so we could go back to our little spot. She hesitated for a moment.

"It's okay yeah, I don't bite… very hard." I smirked in an effort to lighten the mood.

She giggled and threw me a sweet smile. She reached over and took my hand and I walked us back over to where we had been before. I realised then that I would have to be careful about what I say and how I treat Emily. She seemed to be a very gentle soul…

"Do you want another spliff?"

"No that's okay, I can't get too fucked up… my sister will know."

"So?"

"I don't want to cause any problems."

"Well, if you want, you can call from my house and just say you're sleeping at a friend's?"

"I better not."

"Okay, that's cool… Hey are you hungry?" I asked.

I chuckled when I heard her tummy rumble on the mention of food. I stood up after I had quickly rolled another spliff and helped Emily up to her feet.

"What do you fancy?"

"It's doesn't bother me really, whatever you want." She replied.

She had given me a standard answer. It was an answer that would keep other people happy because she was too scared to have an opinion.

"What's your favourite food?" I asked.

"Chips."

"Chips it is then."

Her smile was so big as if she couldn't believe that I actually cared what she liked. It was sad really. It made me kind of angry that people treated her this way. I mean I'm no angel but I've never bullied anyone. If I had a go at someone, they deserved it. It wasn't because of who they were as a person or what they looked like. I never understood why people were like that. I suppose they have they're own insecurities and that's why they feel the need to pick on the weaker kids. It makes them feel better… but it DOESN'T mean that it's right. It's fucking pathetic to be perfectly honest.

We walked towards a strip of shops on the main road not far from my house. I acted as if I never really ate fish and chips. She turned into a completely different person. She wanted to help and she wanted to make sure that I liked what was on the menu. I said that I still didn't really know so she said that she'd just order some chips, potato scallops and a chicken burger. She said it was her favourite. I agreed because secretly, it was my favourite too. She needed to come out of her shell. Feel important. It's just food I know, but if you saw the look on her face as she explained to me what all the items on the menu were it would have broken your heart. She was so happy by just being aloud to speak and give advice and more importantly the person she was speaking too was actually listening. I know that I hardly know her, but I can't explain it. I felt as if I needed to like help her, protect her. Well I think that's what I was feeling… I dunno. It's weird. I never get attached to people… I paid for the food and we left the shop.

"Oh shit, are you thirsty?"

"No that's okay Naomi, you've spent enough. Thank you anyway."

She's thirsty alright. Smoking weed gives you cotton mouth.

"I'll get you a coke. Hold this for a sec." I replied as I passed her the bag.

She protested but I grinned cheekily at her as if to say 'Shut up, I'm getting you a drink'. She smiled sweetly at me. I went into the shop and had to shake the image of her smiling out of my mind. My heart had picked up the pace all of a sudden.

(Must be the drugs.)

I walked back out and took the bag from her and passed her a bottle. She immediately unscrewed it and took a massive gulp.

(Ha, I knew she was thirsty.)

She turned towards me and said thank you.

"I'll give you some money tomorrow okay."

"What the hell for?"

"For the chips and that." She replied.

"Don't be stupid, it's my shout."

"But…"

"Ems, no buts… my shout. End of, yeah."

She smiled again. I almost passed out.

(Fuck. What the hell is she doing to me?)

We walked back to mine. My mum was outside gardening. She turned around instantly and stood up with her hands on her hips. She went to speak but I got in first.

"Mum, this is Emily, Emily this is my mum Gina."

Emily stepped forward and extended her hand shyly towards my mother. My mum just stared at it for a moment before she reached out and shook Emily's hand.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. um…"

"Campbell, but you can call me Gina dear."

"Nice to meet you Gina." Emily replied.

Emily stepped back next to me looking down at the ground. My mum was glaring at me as if she was ready to explode, but she looked at Emily and her face softened. I sighed heavily. I don't usually ask for permission but I didn't want Emily to be stuck in the middle of one of our fights. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable and awkward.

"Mum is it okay if Emily stays over for a bit?"

She looked back at me as if she was about to say 'No fucking way, you are grounded for the rest of your natural life' but she glanced back at Emily who was still looking at her feet.

"Yes of course she can."

Emily looked up and smiled warmly at my mother who returned the smile.

"Okay come on. Let's eat." I said to Emily as I took her hand and walked her up the path towards the front door.

"Naomi, can I speak to you for a minute please?"

I rolled my eyes. I told Emily to take the food to my room and I'd be up in a minute. I told her to not wait and start eating without me. She nodded and made her way inside the house.

"Yes?" I asked as I went over to my mother.

"What are you're intentions?"

"My intentions? I'm fucking starving. I'm about to eat. Why? Do you want some?"

"Don't swear Naomi. You know what I mean. What are you're intentions with Emily?"

"She's a friend."

She sighed.

"She's a sweet girl Naomi… don't you dare break her heart. Do you understand? You'll have me to deal with."

My mother was pretty perceptive. In just a glance she could tell what kind of person you were. It's like she could see into your soul. It was kind of freaky to be honest. I had the same trait although as mum is older, mine wasn't as finely tuned as hers.

"Mum, she's a friend."

"Keep it that way." She replied sternly before she went back to gardening.

I turned back around and made my way inside the house. I went up the stairs and entered my room. Emily was sitting on my bed nibbling on a burger like a little mouse. It was adorable.

(Stop it Naomi. What the fuck is wrong with you?)

"Did you get into trouble? I can leave, it's no problem." She said slightly disappointed.

"No, don't be silly. It's fine. Mum's just being mum. Stay."

She smiled as she took another bite from her burger. I sat on the floor in front of her and unwrapped my own. We spoke about all different kinds of things, school, home life, what we like to do for fun etc. Most of the time we were just laughing, she's got a cool sense of humour. I couldn't get my laughter under control. She was impersonating all the teachers from school. It was hilarious. I almost choked on a mouthful of food. Who would have thought that a girl as quiet and shy as she was would have such an amazing personality? People wouldn't even give her a second thought. Their loss though, she's fucking awesome. You just had to get to know her… It was getting late and she said that she had to leave. To be honest, I didn't want her to go but I didn't want to force her into staying. It was really dark outside so I insisted that I walk her home. She protested of course, but I wasn't going to let her walk on her own.

"It was lovely meeting you Mrs. Campbell. Thank you for letting me stay."

"You're very welcome Emily. Hope to see you again soon. Take care love and please call me Gina."

Mum paused for a moment.

"Naomi, where do you think your going?"

"Mum, it's late. I'm just going to walk Emily home."

"Okay that's fine, but you better make sure you come straight back. You've got school tomorrow."

Emily looked towards me quickly. She looked terrified.

"Yeah I know. See ya after."

I walked with Emily down the street. She grabbed my arm gently and stopped me from continuing.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"Naoms, what am I going to do? I told you I can't stay at home. My mum will kill me."

I smiled.

"It's okay; we'll just have to change our plans a little bit. Meet me out the front of school tomorrow okay. Bring a change of clothes."

"Okay…"

"Don't stress, you'll have fun. I promise."

We continued to walk towards Emily's house in a comfortable silence. We stopped at the front and she turned to face me.

"Thank you for today."

"That's okay. It was my pleasure." I smirked.

She turned serious for a moment.

"Even if you don't speak to me again, I just want you to know that I had fun." She replied casting her gaze to her feet.

"Emily, why wouldn't I speak to you again? I like you."

"You don't have to lie… anyway, just… thank you."

She went to walk off but I grabbed her by her wrist.

"Ems, I'm not lying. I had fun too… We're still on for tomorrow aren't we?"

She didn't say anything.

"Emily?"

"If you want to."

"No, it's if YOU want to." I replied seriously.

She paused deep in thought for a moment.

"Okay."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes." She smiled.

"Haha cool as yeah. I'll see you tomorrow okay."

She stepped closer and raised herself onto her toes. She placed a gentle kiss on my cheek and smiled sweetly at me. I was completely stuck. I'm never like this… fuck sake.

"Thank you." Was all she said as she turned away and walked into her house.

I couldn't help but watch her walk inside until I couldn't see her anymore. My legs felt a little unstable. Christ… I shook the unfamiliar feelings away and walked towards home as I replayed the conversation in my head. Why the hell wouldn't I speak to her again? Why was she lacking in so much confidence? It was like she thought she wasn't good enough… and I didn't really like it. It made me furious. I just couldn't understand. She was kind, sweet, funny, smart and witty… I mean what has she gone through to be this unsure of herself? I don't know why, but I decided to make it a point to find out…

* * *

><p>Emily and I had ended up spending the remaining two days of the school week AND the weekend together. I hadn't had so much fun in such a long time. I didn't get around to asking her about her confidence and that because she seemed at ease. She was happy, talkative and she wasn't really as shy as I had previously thought. It was like watching a flower in bloom. I was taken aback by it. She had a blast. We did a lot of kid stuff like mini golf and arcades but it was a relaxed environment and it gave us the freedom to muck around and be immature as well as getting to know one another. Well, it got me to know her a little bit better. With me, what you see is what you get, but with Emily she had several layers you had to peel away before you got to know the REAL Emily and she was cool. I liked her a lot… Mum wasn't happy when she received a call from the school to ask why I wasn't there but I guess mum's alright. She told them that I was unwell and she had completely forgotten to call and let them know. They were okay about it so I didn't get in trouble but it didn't mean that mum was okay with me wagging. She blew up. She tried to ground me but seriously you would think that she would know by now that I don't really listen to anyone. I do as I please. She should be thankful that I'm going to school today. I was up early, showered and dressed eating a slice of toast as she walked into the kitchen looking at me rather shocked and confused. She said she had gone to wake me and when she saw that I wasn't in my room she assumed that I was still out from the night before. She actually came over and felt my forehead, thinking I was unwell. I didn't tell her but I was dying to see Emily again so I decided that school was the best place to do that…<p>

"Hey." I said as I smiled at Emily.

"Hi Naomi." She replied depressingly.

I paused for a moment and observed her. She was back inside that shell of hers.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded quickly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I let it slide.

"Okay, so what class do you have?" I asked.

"English."

(Awesome… first class of the day was with Ems.)

"Come on then I'll walk with you."

"No that's okay…"

"We're in the same class…"

She didn't say anything.

"Ems, are you sure nothings wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I have to go. My sisters coming."

She turned and ran off that quick that I didn't even have time to say anything else.

"Oi you."

I didn't really hear it because I was distracted by the way Emily was acting. For some reason it concerned me.

"Bitch, I'm talking to you." She said as she pushed me to gain my attention.

I turned to face whoever it was in fucking fury. One thing I didn't stand for was being pushed around and spoken to like that.

"Fucking what?" I snarled.

I softened my gaze when I saw who it was. I had never met her before but there was no denying that it was definitely Emily's twin sister and Emily was right, she was a bitch. I could see it. Sense it. That freaky thing my mum past down came in handy. She came really close to me, staring at me hatefully. Why? I'm not sure because she doesn't even fucking know me.

"I heard you've been hanging around my sister." She spat.

I just frowned at her. She pushed me again.

"You touch me again. I'll break ya fuckin' hand." I said angrily.

My threat didn't phase her one bit. Little did she know though, I don't make a threat unless I fucking mean it. It's the reason I've been kicked out of so many schools. She was lucky this time… I decided that as it was Emily's sister I'd behave.

"I don't like you hanging around my sister."

"Are you fucking serious or what? What's it too you?"

"I know you Campbell… My sister is not for you. Got it?"

"Fuck off." I replied.

I went to walk off but she grabbed my arm. I stopped and stared at where she was touching me. I slowly raised my cold stare back up to her while I bit my bottom lip in complete and total anger. She immediately let go but continued to stare back.

"You can have any girl in this fucking school… just not my sister. Do we understand each other?"

"No… not really." I replied sarcastically.

She wasn't impressed. She raised her hand and went to pop me one. I caught her arm and held it in place while I was almost foaming from the mouth. She looked a little shocked.

"I'll tell you what… I'm gonna let that one go, but try it again…" I paused and twisted her arm. She gasped in pain. "I'll break it off. Do WE Understand Each Other?"

She nodded. I released her arm but she didn't move. I stood there smirking at her looking quite amused. She had balls this one…

"What's your problem exactly?" I asked as I folded my arms across my chest.

"You are." She replied bitterly.

"Why?" I asked calmly. "Are you jealous of your sister having a bit fun?"

"I don't want you fucking her up. She's fragile."

"Yeah she is… No doubt you played a hand in that."

"Fucking watch it yeah."

"Watch what?" I chuckled.

"Just FUCKING stay away from her. If you touch her, I'll fucking kill you. Fucking lezza bitch."

And with that she walked off. It was surreal what had just taken place. I had to shake my head a few times to feel 'normal' again. It was like I was in a fucking daze. What the fuck was that all about? No matter, Queen Bee 0 – Underdog 1… The bell went for classes but to be honest I was feeling a little agitated so I headed for the girls toilets. Thank fuck I brought some powder with me otherwise today was going to be unbearable. I went into a cubicle and took my little stash out of my pocket and had two lines. Nothing like a bit of MDMA to brighten your day… I lit a fag and just hung back for a bit to get use to the feeling of the drugs coursing through my body and allow the rush to stabilise… I exited the cubicle and stood in front of the mirror.

(Fucking hell… have a look at you.)

I undid the top bottom of my shirt and pulled my tie down a bit, scruffed my hair up and untucked my shirt. That's better… I headed back out and made my way to class.

"Miss Campbell, you're late."

"Yeah sorry, Miss. I missed the train."

She sighed. She didn't believe me but she didn't comment any further. I walked to the back of the class and sat down. I scanned the room to see if I could spot Emily. She was sitting next to her sister but she had turned around and gave me a small smile. I smiled back. Her sister saw and forcefully made Emily turn back around. What a fucking bitch, fuck me… isn't she allowed to have friends… English was so fucking boring; I was peaking off the MDMA I had ingested earlier and had actually forgotten I was sitting in class and started whistling. The teacher cleared her throat.

"Do you mind?"

I looked up a little stunned.

"Oh um yeah, sorry." I replied.

The class giggled. I wasn't embarrassed though. I think they were laughing at the teacher. Her facial expression was priceless. She had gone bright red. She looked furious. She turned back to the board and started to talk.

"Miss, can I please be excused?" I asked as I stood up.

She turned back around and I could see she was trying to bite her tongue. I think she was over it though.

"Go on, get out."

"Thanks Miss." I smirked cheekily.

I really needed a fucking spliff. I honestly don't know how I'm going to handle 2 more years of this shit. I'm not a school person. It just does not interest me at all. I walked towards the back oval and sat behind some trees. I sparked up and took a long satisfying drag.

"What are you doing out here?"

(FUCK)

I quickly flicked the spliff into the bushes and prayed that the teacher couldn't smell the smoke. It has a very distinctive smell.

"I felt a bit sick. I just needed some fresh air."

"We have a sick bay for that. What class should you be in?"

"English."

"Whose your teacher?"

"Um Miss Garner."

"Well I suggest you go back there, unless you want to go to the principle's office and explain what it was that you were smoking."

(Fuck sake.)

I didn't say anything. I stood up and walked straight back. I feel like I'm in fucking prison. The students are the prisoners and the teachers are the screws. The principle is the fucking governor. This is fucked. I can't believe that my mum would send me here. What the fuck was she thinking? I admit though, that last teacher who sprung me, she seemed pretty cool. I mean I could have been expelled for smoking weed… I'll be nice to her. Actually come to think of it, she's probably picked it up and having toke right as we speak.

The rest of the day was pretty boring. I didn't get a chance to speak to Emily all day. I was a little worried about her I must admit. I wasn't sure why the sudden change. She had a ball over the weekend. I dunno, something wasn't sitting right. I was heading out of the school gates when I was disturbed…

"Hey Naomi."

I spun around. It was Amanda. She was a couple inches shorter than me, slim build and black hair with blue eyes.

"Hey." I replied as I continued to walk.

"Are… are you doing anything now? Did you want to do something?"

I knew that tone. She wanted a shag. I don't usually go back for seconds because girls tend to get too attached but I had a really shitty day, so what the hell.

"Nah, just going home. You wanna come over?"

She nodded while she bit her bottom lip seductively…

I arrived home and thank God mum wasn't there. I wasn't in the mood to hear her shit.

"You want a drink." I asked Amanda as I walked towards the kitchen.

"What do you have?"

I opened the fridge and had a look.

"Got orange juice, water and coke." I replied.

"Coke." She smiled.

I grabbed two cans and took Amanda's hand, leading her up to my bedroom. She sat on my bed sipping at her drink as I sat at my desk and sprinkled some MDMA on a small mirror.

"You want some?"

"What is it?"

"E." I replied.

She stood up and sat down on my lap as I leant down and snorted two lines. I looked back up at her and she smiled. She leaned in slowly and placed a soft kiss upon my lips. She took the rolled up note I was offering and ingested the remaining two lines. She stood up and held the bridge of her nose as she felt the drugs burn her nasal passage. I stood up also to put some music on.

(Just incase mum comes home.)

Amanda just stood there looking at me hungrily, wanting and waiting for me to make the next move. I stepped towards her and pulled her closer by her hips. She let out a little gasp. I leaned my forehead onto hers and stared into her eyes waiting for her to initiate. Her breathing had become slightly heavier and she kept glancing from my eyes to my lips and back again. She licked her lips quickly expecting me to make the first move, but instead I just smirked at her waiting for her to break. I didn't have to wait long. She roughly placed a hand at the back of my head and crashed our lips together urgently. I backed her up towards my bed. The back of her legs hit the edge and she sat down pulling me by my tie, down with her. I pushed her further up the bed and slid her knickers off and tossed them behind me as I laid her down, reconnecting the kiss. The drugs were starting to kick in nicely. Every time I touched her she would gasp and moan loudly… I slid her skirt up and positioned myself in between her legs. I broke away from the kiss and descended down to her neck as I entered. She wrapped her arms around me and clutched at my school shirt as I started to grind myself against her, the drugs heightening the experience. She wrapped her left leg around my waist as her breathing became ragged and she started to groan uncontrollably. I picked up the pace, grinding her faster and harder which made her call out my name. Phase one completed. Its a little game I play. Every girl I sleep with, I don't quit until I hear them scream my name. I kissed her sensually until she broke away to recapture her breath. Not a chance, I went faster.

"Ohhh fuck Naomi…" She groaned into my ear as I grinded against her even harder.

She was gasping for air and I suspected that she was really close now. She didn't know where to put her hands. One minute she was gripping my shirt and the next she was clutching at the bed sheets as she rocked her hips. She settled with wrapping her arms around me, pulling me in closer and digging her nails into my back. Her leg that was wrapped around my waist tensed up as she was about to blow… I heard my bedroom door open and I looked over as I continued to grind the girl beneath me. Emily looked on in shock, completely stunned as if she couldn't believe her eyes.

"Fuck Ems, gimme a minute yeah."

Amanda let out a loud groan as she came… I had her too close to release to just stop. Even if I had of stopped, it would have been too late anyway. I stopped the movement that was causing Amanda to wriggle beneath me as she came back down from her climax. Emily looked up at me with a hand covering her mouth. Her face was bright red with embarrassment. I knew she wanted to run away but I think the shock had glued her to the spot. Amanda turned her head and grinned evilly at her…

"What the hell is that loser doing here?" She asked breathless.

I looked down at her frowning.

"What?" I asked

"The frigid bitch. What she doin' here?"

I got up from off of Amanda and picked up her knickers and tossed them towards her.

"Get the fuck out yeah."

"What?"

"You heard." I replied.

"But…"

"I said fuck off."

Emily looked as if she was about to cry. Hurt by what Amanda had said. So did Amanda for that matter, but fuck her. I can't stand people who feel the need to be fucking mean. Where does she get off treating people like that? Fucking hell… I know what I just did to her wasn't the nicest thing but I'm fucking angry and no longer in the fucking mood… Amanda stood up after she put her knickers back on and stomped her way towards me.

_**SLAP**_

"I hope you know that THAT will be the last time you ever fuck me."

I shrugged my shoulders, uninterested. I didn't care. There's plenty of fish in the sea… She turned and pushed Emily out of the way. I quickly ran to the doorway and called out to Amanda.

"Amanda."

"Fucking what?" She shrieked.

"You're wrong ya know."

She glared back up at me in total confusion.

"About Emily." I said nodding towards her.

"What the fuck are you talking about Naomi?" Amanda replied.

"She's far from frigid… I should know." I grinned proudly.

I heard Emily gasp softly behind me but it was drowned out by the loud gasp coming from Amanda. I gently took Emily's hand and walked her into my bedroom while I cheekily wiggled my eyebrows towards Amanda. I closed my door and locked it as Amanda came back up the stairs trying the handle with no luck. She started banging on the door shouting and screaming. She was furious. I couldn't even understand what the hell she was saying. I heard my mum walk up the stairs.

"What the hell is going on?"

"You're daughter is a fucking prick." She screamed.

I turned to Emily and told her to stay in my room. I opened the door and closed it.

"Didn't I tell you to fuck off?" I said to Amanda

"Naomi." My mum gasped.

I ignored her and grabbed Amanda by the arm and helped her along. My mum followed and stopped me before I got to the front door.

"Stop this. What's going on?" My mother asked.

"Ask Naomi." Amanda spat out.

"Naomi?" My mum asked as she looked towards me unimpressed.

"Nothing… it's just time for Amanda to leave."

"You're a fucking bitch, you know that? You can fuck-ing have her. She'll never be as good as me…"

I chuckled.

"You're right Amanda."

I paused for a moment.

"She's better."

I pushed her out the door and waved goodbye, sarcastically of course. I closed the front door and went to make my way up the stairs but my mother was blocking my path. She grabbed my arm and dragged me into the kitchen.

"What the fuck has gotten into you?"

"What?" I replied.

"That display I just witnessed was absolutely disgraceful Naomi… treating that poor girl like that?"

"Poor girl? Mum, are you fucking serious? She's a cunt."

_**SLAP**_

(Fucking hell, people sure like slapping me.)

"Don't use that tone with me. Do you understand?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I want to know why that girl was behaving in such a way. What did you do?"

"Mum, it's not something any kid would want to discuss with their parents, ya know."

I went to walk off. She wouldn't let me.

(Fuck it. She wants to know, I'll tell her.)

"I just finished shaggin' her."

I analysed my mother's facial expression. It didn't affect her at all. She didn't even cringe.

"And you treat her like that?"

"Fuck sake mum, Emily walked in on us… Amanda was being a bitch to her."

"So this Amanda was being a bitch is that right? Did she deserve how you just treated her because I don't think she did?"

"What the fuck would you know?" I said as I turned away and went to leave once again.

"NAOMI."

I hated when she used that tone. She means business when she says my name that way. I looked back at her pissed off.

"Yes?"

"What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter now."

"What Did She Say?" My mother repeated.

I know why she wanted to know. She wanted to see if her daughter had completely turned into a heartless monster. A monster that uses and abuses everyone she comes across.

"She called Emily a loser and frigid."

My mum gasped as she replayed the conversation in her head.

"You haven't have you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You haven't slept with her?"

"No."

She raised her eyebrow as if she didn't believe me.

"I haven't."

She still didn't believe me.

"How would you know if Emily was frigid or not?" She squinted as she whispered, not wanting Emily to hear.

"I DON'T know and to be honest ma, I don't fuck-ing care. It doesn't fucking mean anything."

She was still glaring at me.

"I just said that she wasn't. I know how those bitches at school work, ya know. Fuck em. They think that their better then everyone and it makes me sick."

Her gaze softened as she realised I was telling her the truth. It looks as if my mum is like really nosy and look sometimes she is, like now for example but she's trying her best to keep me in a straight line. Our mother - daughter relationship is probably strange to some, but she tries to be a friend as well as a mother and that's why we talk about things that most kids wouldn't dare talk to their parents about. I've had quite an eventful past. Drugs, a heap of fucking girls, crime, dealings with police etc… that's why we keep moving and that's why she has this protective thing with Emily. She can see that she isn't like the usual girls I go for, but I'm not going for Emily in that way. Yeah she's cute and I wouldn't mind going there with her, but I won't. She's an amazing person and I don't want to ruin that. I respect her, although I will never admit it… My mum sighed heavily.

"Okay… go on then. I think you have some explaining to do?"

I turned around and headed up the stairs taking two steps at a time. I entered my bedroom and found Emily sitting at the desk. She looked upset.

"Hey are you okay?" I asked concerned.

She just nodded.

I reached over and gave her my unopened can of coke and pulled the ring for her.

"Here, have this."

She gently took it and said thank you.

"Listen Ems, are you staying?"

"No, I've caused enough trouble for one day, its best if I leave." She replied flatly.

"Stay… its okay yeah. What happened before wasn't your fault. I was only asking because I wanted to jump in for a quick shower."

She looked up at me and smiled shyly.

"You'll still be here when I came back?" I smirked.

She nodded. I quickly grabbed some fresh clothes and went to exit the bedroom. I turned back around and gave her my packet of smokes and a lighter.

"Help yourself."

I went into the bathroom and quickly got myself showered and dressed. I threw my school uniform in the corner and went back into my room. Emily was still sitting at my desk sipping on her coke and smoking a fag. I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Everything she did just looked so sweet and innocent… I sat on the end of my bed and grabbed myself a smoke and lit it. I took a couple of drags and turned to Emily seriously.

"Emily, what I said to Amanda before yeah, I didn't mean what I said, well I did, but I didn't ya know? I was just like…"

"It's okay Naomi, you don't have to explain. I know why you said it. It just took me by surprise that's all."

"Sorry." I replied.

"You don't have to be sorry… it's just that's the first time anyone's stuck up for me."

I paused for a moment.

"Ems, why does everyone treat you like that?"

She sat silent for a moment before she spoke.

"To be honest I don't know. They always have ever since I can remember."

"Why don't you stick up for yourself? Just tell them to fuck off ya know."

"I did once."

"And?"

"They hit me."

"Fucking what?"

I took a few deep breaths… I felt as if I overreacted slightly. I mean I've only really known Emily for a week but I guess I've seen and heard enough to know that what's going on isn't right.

"Do they still do that?"

She didn't reply. I felt my blood begin to boil. I fuck-ing hated bullies. Sometimes the only language them bastards understand is copping a beating themselves. You know, sort of like getting a taste of they're own medicine.

"Emily, are they still hitting you?"

She shifted slightly as she cast her gaze to the floor.

"No." She whispered.

I didn't believe her but she was getting upset again so I didn't want to push the issue.

"Come on." I said as I stood up and grabbed her hand. "Let's go and do something. What do you want to do?"

"Whatever you want I suppose."

"Emily, I'm your tag along remember. You decide."

She hesitated to answer.

"Well, what are we doing?" I asked raising an eyebrow as I smirked.

"Um… can we go back to that park?"

I chuckled.

"We don't have to that's okay. It was a dumb idea." She replied panicked.

"What are talking about? It's a fantastic idea. I was actually thinking the same but I thought that YOU might of thought it was lame ya know." I replied.

She smiled.

"So what do we bring?" I asked her.

"I wouldn't mind having a spliff."

"Done... You want some vodka as well?"

She nodded sheepishly.

"Okay let's go."

* * *

><p>Emily ended up sleeping over last night. She had gotten a little too fucked up and I couldn't send her home in that state. I got my mum to ring up Emily's and let her know where she was. She was gone when I woke up in the morning, but she left me a note saying thank you for the night before and she'd see me at school. She had opened up a bit more once she felt relaxed. She told me that she had told her sister why she hadn't been at school the week before and her sister cracked up at her. I know her name now. It's Katie. Katie wasn't at all happy with Emily associating with me and told her not to hang around me anymore and that's why she was weird at school yesterday but what made me smile is that Emily said her sister can go and get fucked. 'She's not telling me who I can and can't hang around with' she had said with a confidence I hadn't seen from her. She also apologised but I said to her not to stress, I get it and then she explained that's the reason why she came over to mine after school. I apologised for what she had seen. I felt bad that she saw me and Amanda goin' at it… Once we got all that out of the way, the rest of the night was just full of laughter. I have never in my life known anyone who could make me laugh like that. Bloody hell, she's cheeky too, she won't let up. She's going to kill me. Has anyone actually died from hysterical laughter before? If they haven't I guarantee I'm going to be the first… The bell went for lunch so I walked over towards the canteen to get something to drink. I wasn't really hungry but I was almost dying of thirst. I waited in the line when someone came up beside me and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to face them and smiled immediately.<p>

"Ems."

"Hey." She replied.

"How are you feeling after last night?"

"I feel like I've been hit by a cement truck." She groaned.

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"You had fun though, yeah?" I asked smiling.

She nodded.

"I'm just going to go to the back of the line okay… I'm starving. I'll talk to you later?" She asked.

"Get in here." I said as I grabbed her arm and put her in front of me.

"Hey, that's not fair. She can't fuckin' push in." The tart behind me said as she grabbed Emily and pushed her violently out of the line.

"Get your fucking hands off her?" I said through clenched teeth.

"Who the fuck are you?" The tart asked.

I grabbed her by her jaw and pushed her head up slightly.

"Do you really wanna find out?"

The tart didn't say anything. Emily went to walk off. I grabbed her wrist with my free hand and put her back in the line.

"Do we have a problem here?" I asked the tart.

"She shouldn't push in."

I glared at her hatefully.

"She didn't push in. I was saving her spot… Now YOU fuck off to the back of the line."

She didn't move. I titled her head up higher and she gasped in pain. I pushed her to the side.

"I said fuck off yeah."

She just looked at me wanting to protest. I took a step towards her and as I did that she lifted her hands up.

"Okay, okay. I'm going."

I turned back to Emily.

"Fuck, are you okay?" I asked slightly panicked.

"Yeah."

"She didn't hurt you did she?"

"No I'm okay… Look Naomi, maybe I should go to the back as well, everybody's looking at me."

I lifted my gaze and looked around.

"What the FUCK are you all lookin' at?"

Everyone could see that I was riled right up and ready to fight. They quickly all went back to whatever they were doing before the little incident. What a bunch of fucking bitches…

"Fuck 'em Emily, don't worry about 'em." I said.

"Thank you." She whispered.

I got my drink and Emily got her food. God she could eat. Where the hell does she put it all? If I ate as much as she did, no doubt I'd be a side of a house. Fuck me. I grinned at her as she took the last bite of her lunch.

"What?" She asked shyly.

"Full?" I smirked.

She knew what I was getting at. Her cheeks turned slightly red.

"I'm a growing girl. I need to eat."

I chuckled.

"So what classes do you have next?" I asked.

"None. I'm off for the rest of the day." She replied. "You?"

"I got one left… Religion."

I paused for a moment.

(Fuck it.)

"What are you doing after lunch?" I asked.

"Nothing why?"

"I'm gonna skip, you wanna do something?"

"Naomi, you shouldn't… this is your third week here and you've had more days off then I have since I've been here."

"But it's R.E. It's fucking boring."

"That might be so, but it's important. If you don't pass Religion or English, you fail the year."

I paused and studied Emily's face for a moment.

"Naomi?"

"Yeah."

"If you like I'll meet you at your place AFTER you're class."

"Alright, geez keep your knickers on." I smirked, playfully rolling my eyes.

She smiled.

"Good." She replied. "Well the bells about to go, so will I see you later?"

"Yep, sure thing."

"Okay, bye Naomi." She smiled.

"See ya."

What the hell just happened? Did I just agree to stay at school? Like what the fuck, I don't listen to no one. ESPECIALLY when it comes to fuck-ing school… Talk about total fucking confusion…

* * *

><p>Three months had passed without anymore incidents at school. Emily had changed a bit too. It was good to see. She was a lot more talkative and she even stopped sitting next to her sister in English. She would sit next to me; she was a bit of a pest though. Every time I started doodling in the back of my book, she'd stop me and tell me to do my work. It didn't bother me though. It was cute. She said she didn't mind sitting next to her sister, she just didn't like the fact that she forced her too and that's why she was kind of rebelling against her. She told me in a posh voice that 'I will sit where I choose'. Fucking funny… Ems has been coming over to my place for dinner two sometimes three times a week. Mum fucking adores her. When Ems sleeps over on the weekends she makes her pancakes every time. She never makes me pancakes, bloody hell. Talk about being unfair. It's okay though, I don't mind. I can't explain it but when I see Emily happy it makes me happy. It's really strange when I look back. I have never clicked with anyone so quickly before. I don't know what to make of it…<p>

"Hey girls, time to get up."

"What time is it?" I groaned.

"It's 11am and incase you don't know its Sunday. You can't sleep all day." Mum replied.

I turned around to face Emily who was still fast asleep. She looked so peaceful, almost angelic. I couldn't bring myself to wake her. I carefully crawled out of bed and grabbed a pair of jeans and tee, clean knickers and headed for the shower.

"Shhh, let her sleep yeah." I said to mum.

Mum just smiled and nodded. I went into the bathroom and got myself ready for the day. I quickly checked on Emily who was still in lah lah land so I made my way downstairs. Mum had a coffee waiting for me.

"Here love."

"Thanks ma." I said as I kissed her on the cheek.

I sat down across from her and took a sip of my coffee. I could feel mum's eyes on me so I lifted my gaze and she was smiling warmly at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You've been keeping you're nose clean lately."

I looked at her confused.

"Your grades have picked up and so has your attendance."

"And?"

"I wonder if Emily has anything to do with that?"  
>"What are you getting at?"<br>"Nothing." She replied. "Nothing at all." She added as she stood up and started doing the dishes.

(What the fuck has gotten into her?)

I finished of my coffee and made myself another cup. I walked into the lounge room and plonked myself on the couch and watched a bit of T.V. I was only there for about 10 minutes when I heard my bedroom door open and Emily walk into the bathroom. She finished up in there and came and sat next to me on the couch wearing a pair of my trackies. They were to long for her. I turned to look at her and chuckled lightly. Her hair was a mess. It kind of looked like she had just been electrocuted.

"Morning." I said as she yawned.

She nodded while she yawned again. I went to take a sip of my coffee but Emily has become quite cheeky over the last few months and gently snatched the mug from my hand and took a massive gulp, finishing off the rest of it.

"Heeey..." I said amused.

"Sorry." She giggled.

"You want more? I'll make you one."

"Yes please."

"I'll be back."

I went into the kitchen and mum had already popped the kettle on. She was grinning at me as she flipped over a pancake in the pan.

"What is with you today?"

"What? Can't I be happy?"

"I didn't say that did I. You're just, you're freaking me out."

"Well sorry dear, that wasn't my intention."

I rolled my eyes and poured Ems a cup of coffee. I went to leave but mum stopped me.

"Here take these in to Emily."

I took the plate of pancakes into the lounge room and passed them over to her. She scoffed it all down like she hadn't eaten for weeks.

"Bloody hell Ems."

She smiled.

"I was hungry." She chuckled as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Hey there's a party at Sam's place tonight. You up for it?" I asked.

"Sam who?"

"Samantha, fuck I don't remember her last name… The one from school with pink streaks in her hair."

"The one you shagged?" Emily asked with her eyebrow raised.

"How do you know about that?"

"Naomi, everyone knows about that. I mean you weren't exactly discreet about it were you?"

I grinned.

"Well it's not my fault." I replied.

Emily smirked.

"Didn't you hear the bell?" Emily asked trying to keep a straight face.

"No I didn't. If I had, we wouldn't have been caught."

"Seriously though, up against the lockers… what the hell were you thinking?" She laughed.

"I wasn't." I blushed slightly. "Anyway, moving on yeah… We going?"

"Yeah, why not. Nothing else to do."

"Cool."

Emily reached over and placed her hand on my arm to gain my attention.

"Oh I have to go home first though. I've got no clothes."

"No probs."

Emily got up and headed up stairs to have a shower. She reappeared 30 minutes later with her bags packed and she was ready to leave. I got up off the couch and grabbed her hand and led her out to the backdoor. We laid down on the grass and I sparked up a spliff and took a few drags and passed it over to Emily.

"Naoms, what times the party?" Emily asked as she exhaled the thick smoke.

"Be ready by 7. I'll come and get you."

Emily turned and smiled sweetly at me with my heart almost leaping from out of my chest.

(Fucking hell. Get a grip Naomi.)

She passed me the spliff. I smoked the last of it and flicked it over the fence. Emily stood up first and extended her hand to help me up. We walked back inside. Emily said her goodbyes to my mum and walked into the lounge room and picked up her bags. I opened the front door for her as she came up beside me. She placed a quick peck on my lips and pulled back looking at me intensely. I think I was doing the same. We just stared at each other for a long moment. Fuck I was getting lost in them gorgeous brown eyes of hers. I snapped out of it and cleared my throat gently.

"So I'll see ya tonight yeah?"

Emily smiled and nodded. She walked out the front door and gave me a backward wave.

"See ya tonight."

_**TBC…**_

**Feel free to leave a review... Thanks guys**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, how are we all? Hope everyone's well…**

**I just want to thank everyone who has left a comment. You guys are great… actually, you know what? Scratch that… you guys are AMAZINGLY AWESOME :) YES, I think that's much more fitting lol.**

**I also just want to give a quick thanks to all those who left a comment on my last story 'The Darkness That Follows.' I didn't get to thank you for the last set of reviews as it was the last chapter. So yeah, THANK YOU so much for your kind words… You guys managed to make me look like a lunatic after the reviews started to roll in. I had a permanent smile on my face for days hahaha. People thought I had finally lost the plot, asking me if I was okay… Well duh, I'm smiling aren't I? Lmfao… anyway, moving on. Here's the next chapter… enjoy.**

**The Lives We Lead**

**Part II**

Mum had been getting on my tits all fucking day. She just kept smiling at me all goofily and it was fucking creepy as. I decided to disappear for a bit and clean up my room. It was fucked. It always was when Emily slept over. It looked like a bomb had hit it. We always ended up getting drunk and mucking around. Shit ended up everywhere. I cleaned up the mess and straightened up everything, put fresh sheets on my bed and jumped in for another shower to get ready for the party. I couldn't help but replay that peck Emily gave me. Fucking hell, I know it was an innocent friendly kiss goodbye, but I don't know what's going on with me at the moment. I keep getting these weird fucking feelings when I'm around her. I know what the feelings are. I've been around long enough to know, but fucking why? I've just got to quash them before shit gets out of hand and I do something stupid… I hopped out of the shower and went into my bedroom. I grabbed a pair of my blue flare jeans, white tee and black jacket and chucked them on the bed. I put my underwear on and got dressed. I pick out a pair of black Vans, fixed my hair up, a little bit of make up and went down into the kitchen to grab a drink. I was in two minds about grabbing my stash. Fuck it. I went back upstairs and pulled out some MDMA and had a few toots and put the rest into my pocket. I grabbed a couple of pre rolled spliffs because I knew Ems would probably want one…

"Okay see ya later mum."

"See ya love. Have fun."

"Yep."

I closed the door behind me and made my way down to Emily's place. My phone started to ring so I pulled it out of my pocket and answered it.

"Naoms, where are you?"

"I'm on my way, why?"

"It's 8 o'clock."

"What?"

(Fuck… how did that happen?)

"Sorry babe… I won't be long yeah."

About 15 minutes later I walked up Emily's driveway and knocked on the door. Katie answered.

"Oh it's you."

"Nice to see you too Katie." I smirked.

"It's always nice to see me." She replied.

I chuckled. Katie and I, well how can I put this?... We weren't exactly what you would call 'friends' but after the incident in the canteen with Emily, Katie had come over and thanked me for helping her. I was confused where Katie was concerned. I mean she was a fucking mega bitch at times and she treated Emily like complete shit but I think underneath it all she does love her sister but I don't think she knows how to show it the proper way. What confuses the fuck out of me, even to this day is why she lets other people walk all over Emily. She's like the Queen Bee ya know and like all she has to do is tell the other wasps to back the fuck off, but she hasn't. I guess appearances mean more to Katie. The popularity and being noticed. Stupid I know.

"Come in yeah, Emily won't be long." She said.

"Ah what about you're mum?" I whispered.

"She's not home."

Jenna met me for the first time about a month and a half ago. As soon as she saw me, she decided that she didn't like me. I'm guessing that Amanda bitch didn't help matters much. She was friends with Katie and she must have said something to Jenna about what I said about Emily, plus I mean word gets around from parent to parent about other kids from school so I'm sure she knows a lot about me… She gave me the meanest fucking death stare. I swear, I almost shit my pants. She is one scary lady… I walked into the Fitch's household and Katie told me to wait inside the lounge room so I took a seat on the couch and waited…

"You're going to Sam's party yeah?" She asked.

I nodded.

'You?" I asked.

"Yeah, later though."

"Okay…"

"Hey Naoms." Emily interrupted as she came down the stairs.

(Thank God. I hate small talk.)

"Hey." I said as I stood up. "Sorry I'm late. I didn't realise what time it was."

"That's okay… you ready?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

Fuck me. She was stunning. She was wearing a pair of tight black shorts, black top, with a black fitted blazer which was finished off with a pair of ankle boots. She had her hair down which she had slightly teased. My jaw almost hit the floor. Katie noticed because when Emily wasn't looking she slapped me in the back of the head and whispered 'fucking watch it yeah'. I think it's her favourite saying. She always says it to me. I quickly turned and squinted at her. I was considering slapping her back but changed my mind when Emily came up beside me.

(I'll get her next time.)

"Come on then." Emily said.

She frowned at me and pretty much dragged me out of the house.

"Fuck Ems, what's you're hurry."

"I thought we agreed."

"Agreed to what?"

"You know what Naoms; you have to relax off that shit."

She was talking about the MDMA… I use to be really into it before I ran into Emily and we started hanging out together. About a month ago I got completely wasted and had over done it. I was chucking my guts up everywhere. Thank God Ems was nearby because no other bastard offered their assistance. I could have died. The position I had slumped into and almost passed out in wasn't the best. When I spewed, it had no where to go, it got stuck in my airways. I know that sounds gross and all but fuck it can be deadly ya know. Emily thank fuck was there at the right time and turned me over. She even got me home somehow…

"I know Ems, but we're goin' to a party."

She sighed.

"I'm sorry." I added.

"There's nothing we can do about it now, is there? Just… no more okay?"

Silence.

"Naoms?"

"Yeah sorry… no more. Cross my heart." I smirked as I nudged her shoulder.

We walked for five minutes in a comfortable silence. We didn't need to always talk. I liked it. We had become almost inseparable since we first met. We got along really well. Emily had become more confident in herself and more outgoing. She still had her days I suppose, but that was because of the bitches at school. They still gave her shit, but she was handling it better. It bothered her, but just not as much. She appeared to be… stronger. I admit it made me smile. I think I felt proud of her. I say 'think' because it's an unfamiliar feeling to me. I don't really feel ya know, I've never been one to be in touch with my emotions. Well that's kind of a lie. I'm very much in touch with one emotion and that's anger… I don't know why. I've always been like that. I suppose that's why I'm always getting into trouble and shit, ya know. Anyways, not to worry… time for some fun.

"Go on then, hand it over." She said extending her hand.  
>"Don't you trust me?" I replied amused.<p>

"Nope and I don't particularly want to be keeping an eye on you all night, so hand it over."

I couldn't help but laugh. She was so serious as she said it.

"Naomi." She said as she slapped my arm.

"Okay, relax…"

I reached into my pocket and passed her the bag I had it in. I laughed even harder when she put it in her bra. She got that from me. She's seen me do it a thousand times.

"What?" She smirked.

"You think I won't go in there to retrieve it." I joked.

She blushed.

"Well, if you do… you bloody well better ask me first." She replied.

I wrapped an arm around her and brought her closer as we walked up the path to where the house party was taking place.

"Naomi you came?" Sam announced a little too excitedly.

"Yeah." I replied.

She turned her gaze to Emily and frowned when she realised I had my arm around her.

"Hi Emily." She said dryly while she rolled her eyes.

I felt Emily flinch slightly due to the tone that Sam used so I gave her a gentle squeeze to reassure her that everything would be okay.

"Hi Sam." She replied softly.

We had only been here for a minute and she already felt awkward and out of place. I leaned in and whispered into Emily's ear.

"I think she's jealous of you. You look gorgeous."

Emily's face was almost glowing in the dark it was that flushed but it made her smile. She elbowed me in the ribs and chuckled lightly. It was her way of saying 'behave'. I heard Sam clear her throat so I turned my attention back to her with a curious look on my face.

"Drinks are over there." She said as she turned around and stormed off.

I turned to face Emily, scrunched my face up and mimicked Sam.

"_Drinks are over there."_

That cracked her right up. She couldn't get her laughter under control. I placed a quick kiss on her forehead and took her hand and made my way towards the couch. On the way I pinched a bottle of vodka and passed it to Emily. She had already got stuck into it before we had even gotten to the couch.

"Babe, relax… If you drink like that you're not gonna last." I said as I took a seat.

She smiled shyly and apologised.

"Urgh, stop apologising… here I brought you a spliff."

I sparked it up for her and passed it over.

"Naoms, we can't smoke this here."

"Look around Ems, everyone else is." I smirked.

She looked around the room as she took a seat beside me. When she was satisfied that there were indeed other people having a smoke, she brought it to her lips and took a drag.

"You want some." She offered.

I smiled.

"I've got my own. You reckon you can handle a whole one by yourself?"

She nodded cheekily.

(Stop it Naoms before you ravish her. Look away… Look… Away.)

I took a deep breath and scanned the room to see who else was here. The party had only been going for an hour but the place was already packed. People were up and dancing, couples kissing, some were having a shag… I turned back to Emily.

"Ems, are you okay… you don't feel uncomfortable or anything?" I asked seriously.

She frowned slightly.

"Why would I feel uncomfortable?" She asked.

I nodded my head in the direction of a guy who was shagging the fuck out of a girl from our school. Emily looked over and went into complete shock. She turned back to face me with her mouth wide open. I placed my finger gently under her chin and closed it for her while I smirked at the face she was pulling.

"Ems?"

"I'm okay… anyway, by the way his going he'll be finished soon."

I erupted into a fit of laughter because just after she said it… he was um, done. Perfect timing… She finished off her spliff and had a small mouthful of vodka as she stood up. I looked back at her questioningly.

"Let's dance." She said as she held out her hand.

"I dunno Ems; you know I hate dancing…"

"Please." She playfully pouted.

I rolled my eyes at her and stood up and allowed her to drag me onto the makeshift dance floor. She was a fucking excellent dancer. Fucking hell. I just stood there like a banana watching her. I had seen her dance before but that was when we were both trashed and in my bedroom mucking around. This was different. Her body swayed and moved to the beat perfectly. She closed her eyes and I could see that she was feeling the music… This time it was me with my eyes bulging out of my head and my mouth wide open as I started to feel a bit on the dizzy side. I snapped out of it and looked around the room. Everyone else was looking at her stunned too. She didn't notice and I don't think she would have cared. She was so relaxed and she was clearly enjoying herself. I smiled at what was in front of me. This is the first time we have been out to a party where she has just let herself go and not paid attention to the bitches casting they're hateful stares at her, but I admit that wasn't the look on their faces right this very minute. They were seeing a different side to Emily. They knew she looked perfect dancing the way she was and that's why the look of bewilderment was plastered on each and everyone of they're faces… Emily opened her eyes and looked at me and smiled. She grabbed my hand and urged me to start dancing with her. I moved around a little bit but I couldn't concentrate properly. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was so confident. Every movement was done to perfection. Every movement made my heart skip a beat.

(Fuck sake.)

The song finished and so I pulled Ems closer and whispered in her ear that I was going to sit the next one out. She smiled and thanked me for the dance and said that she'd join me later. She loved to dance and she didn't care that she was dancing by herself. It didn't bother her one bit. I sat back down on the couch and took a swig from the bottle of vodka I had acquired earlier and just watched on. I don't want to be crude but she was making me feel all hot but there was something else there. It's hard to explain, it wasn't like I just wanted to shag her to get my rocks off, I really cared for her and that's why I haven't tried anything with her and quite frankly it fucking terrifies me. Does that make sense? It probably doesn't. I'm confused as all fuck about this. For me it's simple. I see a girl I like, I say hello, usually you can tell if their in to you by the way they respond, we shag and it's thanks and see ya later, ya know? Although I look at Emily and want to do that with her, I know I won't be able to say 'see you later'. I know that I'll become addicted and I'm terrified by it and I know how I am. I'll probably only hurt her. She's the only person in my life apart from my mum that I truly give a fuck about. We are best of friends and I refuse to fuck that up… Anyway, I think it's the MDMA and the fact that I haven't fucked anyone for like a week that's made me feel like this…

"So you're finally on your own."

"Huh." I replied still staring at Emily while she danced.

"Well every time I see you, you're with her." She replied tilting her head towards Emily.

"What's you're point Sam?" I frowned.

"My point is, since that day at school, I've wanted to finish what we started." She replied seductively as she straddled my legs.

I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying. My focus was still on Emily. I worry about her. I can't help it. I just want to make sure that she's alright and no ones bothering her. Sam placed her hand on my cheek and turned my head towards her while she bit her bottom lip. She grabbed both my hands and placed them on either side of her hips as she rocked them teasingly against me. She leaned down and brushed her lips against mine… I nipped her bottom lip and as she gasped, I deepened it. Once she pulled away completely breathless, she stood up and started to drag me behind her.

"Hang on a sec." I said as I walked over to Emily. "Ems, I'm gonna disappear for a bit. Will you be okay on your own?" I asked.

She looked over my shoulder and spotted Sam. I saw an extremely small change in Emily's eyes but I wasn't sure if I was seeing things or not because she smirked and said she'd be fine.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

I nodded and turned back around but then stopped and turned back to Emily.

"Hey listen… do you have you're phone with you?" I asked.

"Yeah, how come?"

"If anyone bothers you, you call me okay."

She nodded. I stopped to examine Emily's face to make sure she was 100% comfortable with me leaving her. She seemed okay about it.

"Anyway… I won't be long." I said with a wink.

I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. I flashed her a quick smile and went back to Sam. She had her arms crossed while she was tapping her foot, looking a little pissed off.

"What's up with you?" I asked.

"Nothing." She said as she grabbed my hand and dragged me down the hallway and into her bedroom.

She closed the door, locked it and swung her hips as she walked towards me while I sat on the edge of her bed. She reached over and picked up a small hand mirror that had lines on it and offered it to me. I took it off her and just as I went to snort what was there I stopped.

(You promised Ems you wouldn't.)

"Nah it's okay… here." I said as I passed it back. "I've had enough tonight." I added.

She frowned at me because she knew what I was like. Fuck, everyone knew what I was like. I never said no to drugs… I hardly said no to anything.

"Okay." She said awkwardly.

She had a toot and put the mirror to the side and kneeled down in front of me. She started running her hands along my thighs as she stared up at me intensely.

"You know… ever since I first saw you… I've always wanted to do this." She stated.

I smirked down at her as she pulled me closer to the edge of the bed. I wasn't going to stop her… She slowly undid my belt and my jeans and slid them down to my ankles. She positioned herself in between my thighs still looking right at me. She cast her eyes to where her tongue was about to be and edged closer. I let out a small gasp; actually it was more like a sigh, as she came into contact with the spot that was causing me a huge amount of grief all fucking night. I leaned back on the bed, resting on my right elbow and used my free hand to place it on top of Sam's head. She started to nibble and suck and fucking hell, I swear, my eyes rolled into the back of my head…

"Ohhh fuck." I groaned.

She smiled. I couldn't see it, but I felt it. I pushed her closer to me as she flicked and circled. She increased the movement and I could feel I was getting close. I clung to her hair; a little bit too hard I must admit because she let out a small cry. I didn't mean it though. I apologised… and BOOM. I was done. She continued to gently lick and suck as I came back down from the high. I released her hair and flopped back on to the bed to recapture my breath. I could feel her taking my shoes and jeans off completely and when she came to lie beside me she had gotten herself undressed also. She relieved me of my jacket and tee and straddled my thigh. She started to grind herself against me as she gently crashed our lips together. I let her go for a bit before I flipped us over. I got myself positioned and started to rub my hand against the place that was screaming out for attention. She groaned loudly as I looked down at her for a second. I descended down to her neck and started nipping and sucking. Oops she's going to have a nice little mark there for a few days, ahhh actually, maybe two weeks… It was time and so I entered. She raised her hands above her and clung to the bars on her bed head as I grinded against her, using my hips to thrust in and out. I picked up the pace for a bit and slowed it back down… I picked it up again and she screamed out 'Naomi'. She nearly blew out my eardrum, fuck sake. I think everyone at the party would have heard that, even over the loud music. Jesus… Her breathing was loud and ragged. She was gasping for air. She started to mumble incoherently as I continued the movement. She released the bed head and wrapped her arms around me frantically and pulled me closer as I grinded against her. After a few moments she squeezed me tight as she came in full force. I couldn't fucking breathe. Fuck me. I felt something click; I thought she broke one of my fuck-ing ribs, bloody hell. It was all good though. She never… I continued to grind slowly against her as she came back down from the clouds or wherever the fuck she was. She opened her eyes and immediately crashed our lips together.

"Christ, where did you learn to do that?" She panted.

I just smiled at her. I didn't really know what she was talking about. I mean I just fucked her; I didn't do any tricks or anything. I placed one last kiss on her lips and got up off the bed and started to get dressed.

"What… what are you doing?" She asked.

"Ahh, getting dressed." I replied.

"Why?"

"Get back to the party." I shrugged.

She stayed silent as she sat up and raised the sheets to cover her self. She was looking at me strangely.

"What?" I asked.

She didn't reply.

"What?" I repeated.

"I… I thought you liked me." She replied.

(Fucking hell, not again. They know the score. Jesus fucking Christ.)

I sighed heavily.

"Sam, I like you but we just fuck, ya know."

"But…"

"There's no buts, I told you how it was from the beginning yeah… so what's the problem?"

She stopped to think for a second.

"Well, do you have to be such a fucking prick about it? Can't you stay for a while?"

"Sorry babe, I don't do sleepovers."

I turned and exited the bedroom and as I closed the door I heard a loud bang. She fucking threw something. Is she for real? By the sound of the loud thump, if it had of hit me, there would have been a good chance that it could have bloody well killed me. Fuck sake. These chicks are crazy… I headed for the bathroom and cleaned myself up a bit before I went back out to look for Ems. I didn't have to look very hard; she was stumbling her way towards me. She was off her fucking tits.

"You alright." I chuckled as she crashed into me.

I had to wrap my arms around her waist to hold her up. She raised her head and smiled innocently at me as she nodded. She smelled like a brewery. Fucking hell, how much has she had to drink?

"You need the loo?"

"Uhuh." She replied.

I helped her through the doorway and left her to it. I sparked up a fag and leaned up against the wall while I waited for her in the hallway. I heard the flush of the toilet, the tap turn on as she washed her hands and then finally the bathroom door opened. She looked up at me goofily. She looked as if she had a blast tonight. It made me feel a little warm and fuzzy.

(Warm and fucking fuzzy? Are you serious? Something is definitely wrong with you babes. You need help.)

"I think I better get you home, ey?"

She smiled.

"Come on then." I said smiling back at her.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder to help her walk straight. We got to the end of the hallway and made our way through the crowd. I saw Katie over by the couch we had been sitting on earlier talking to a guy. Well actually, flirting with him… As we walked through the large sea of bodies, Emily stumbled and accidentally knocked into a girl who was dancing. She turned around and pushed Emily back causing her to fall but luckily I was quick enough and was able to catch her…

"Are you fucking right or what?" I yelled.

"She started it."

"It was a fucking accident." I spat back angrily.

"What do you care? She's a fucking loser."

I glared at the bitch but was distracted by a loud 'Oi'. I snapped my head in the direction of the voice. It was Katie. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. She never interfered with this kind of thing…

"What the fucks going on?" Katie asked.

"You're fucking sister. That's what's going on." The bitch said.

"Just leave her yeah, she's not doing anything." Katie replied.

"She's a fucking idiot. She made me spill my drink." She spat as she took a step towards Emily.

(Fucking any excuse to cause a fight.)

Okay by now I was absolutely fucking outraged. I pushed Emily into Katie and popped the bitch right in the nose. Fuck her. She dropped to the floor and I leaned over her and gave her another one for good luck. I picked her up by her top and grabbed her by the scruff of the neck. I leaned into her ear.

"Fucking apologise."

There was no hesitation. She said sorry immediately. Emily just stared in complete shock. She didn't know what to do or say. I released her and pushed her away. I grabbed Emily and stormed out the door in complete and total fucking fury.

"Naomi, wait."

I stopped and spun around holding onto Emily tightly so she didn't end up going arse over head.

"WHAT?" I said as I clenched my jaw.

I softened my gaze and took a deep breath as I saw it was Katie.

"What?"

"She can't go home like that. Mum will have a fit." She replied.

"Well… I'll take her to mine."

I spun back around and continued to walk.

"Naoms, wait yeah."

"Yes Katie… what is it?"

"Thanks."

"I don't need to be thanked."

"I know that… but thanks all the same."

Katie spun around and went back into the house. I heard a loud scream and people cheering but I paid no attention. I continued my way back home with Emily safe and sound.

* * *

><p>That party was three weeks ago. When I got Emily back to mine, she completely crumbled into my arms. She was sobbing uncontrollably because of that bitch. Everything was okay. Ems was having a good time and she was fucking happy and that fucking FUCK head had to ruin it. It took me half the night to calm her down and convince her that she wasn't nothing, that she wasn't shit. I felt like going back to that party and killing that cunt. I know that most people wouldn't understand and say 'who cares, what that girl did wasn't that bad', but it fucking was to Emily. She gets hammered all the time at school. It's not right. It makes me so fucking furious. Ems wouldn't hurt a fuck-ing fly and that's why it gets on my tits when those bitches take it upon themselves to bully her and make her feel like she's a waste of space. They don't see when she comes home and cries herself to sleep. They don't see the fear she has every morning when she gets up to go to school… This shit is going to stop. I'll fucking make sure of it. Anyway, I don't know what's going on with Katie at the moment but I'm glad she has woken the fuck up where her sister is concerned. That scream I heard after me and Ems left the party was Katie ripping that chicks hair out… The ring from my phone distracted me from my thoughts.<p>

"Hello."

"Where the fuck have you been?"

I sighed.

"Hello Katie."

"HEY KATIE." The girl next to me screamed right into my fucking ear.

"Who was that?" Katie asked.

(Fuck. I can't remember her name.)

I heard Katie gasp loudly.

"Is that Amy?"

(That's right, Amy.)

"Jesus fucking Christ Naomi, do you have to shag all my fuck-ing friends? She's not even gay for fucks sake…"

"She is now." I chuckled. "Anyway, what is it that you want? I'm sure you didn't ring to hear about my sex life."

"Do you remember Emily?"

I sat up immediately.

"Is she okay?" I replied slightly panicked.

"Yes she's fine… apart from the fact that she thinks that you've been arrested because you haven't spoken to her for the last fucking week."

"Fuck… I meant to call her… but I just… FUCK."

"Is she home?"

"Yeah… but so is mum." Katie replied.

"Listen tell Ems that I'll be over in an hour okay."

"Yeah sure lezza."

She paused for a moment.

"Oh and one more thing… STOP FUCKING ALL MY FRIENDS." She screamed before she hung up.

(Jesus fuck, I'm gonna end up deaf.)

I turned to face um, ah Amy.

"Babes, play times over yeah… I got shit to do."

"Do you have to go right now?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yep. It's important. Come on, time to leave."

She got out of bed and angrily put her clothes back on.

"Sam was right. You are a fucking prick."

"HEY… you were warned and yet you didn't listen. NOT my fucking problem." I replied.

She stormed over to me and slapped me before she left.

"See ya." I called out after her.

I grabbed some fresh clothes and jumped in for a shower. I got myself ready and headed down stairs.

"She's alive." My mum said sarcastically.

I ignored her. I walked over and popped the kettle on to make myself a much needed cup of coffee. I made the drink and sat down at the kitchen table.

"I haven't seen Emily for a little while. Did you two have a fight?" She asked.

I know what she's doing. She's probing me for information.

"No mum." I sighed.

"So why hasn't she been around?"

"I've been busy."

"What? Shagging the arse off of your latest find?"

"Fuck sake, what is with everyone? First Katie, now you."

"What's that love?"

"Nothing, just leave it yeah."

My mum paused for a moment and just glared at me suspiciously.

"What?"

"I'm just wondering…"

"Wondering what?"

"I'm just wondering why the sudden change. You and Emily were joined at the hip and now you seem too busy for her."

"What the fuck are you on about? It's only been a week for fucks sake."

I know what she's saying without even hearing her say it. She thinks that I've slept with Emily and now I'm sick of her. If I had of slept with Emily, there would be no way I'd be sick of her that's for fucking sure. I just got carried away with that Amy chick. I've been wasted all week and lost track off time. In fact what's strange is that mum hasn't even mentioned the fact that I haven't been to school. I took a deep breathe to calm myself.

"Listen ma, I know what your thinking okay and the answer is no. I'm never too busy for Emily and I'm actually going over to see her now… so if you don't mind, enough with the fucking questions yeah, it's too early."

"Fucking fantastic." My mum beamed a little sarcastically.

She was having a go at me for swearing. It was her little way.

"You can invite her over for dinner… oh that is unless you bump into another one of your bimbos." She grinned evilly.

(Is it just me or is everyone around me slightly fucked in the head?)

"I'll ask her." I simply replied, ignoring her 'bimbo' statement.

"Tell her we'll be having chicken."

"Yes mum." I replied.

"And by the way dear… It's 4pm."

She stood up and turned on the little radio she keeps on a shelf near the stove and starts singing and dancing as she was washing up the dishes. I think she put too much of the green stuff in her tea this afternoon. Fucking hell.

"Okay I'm off yeah. See ya later."

"See ya love."

I walked down the street and made my way towards Emily's house and sparked up a fag. I was feeling terrible about not calling Emily or even seeing her for that matter. I'm such a dick sometimes… She could have called me, actually she has. I've just noticed now as I was scrolling through the missed calls on my phone. Fuck, she probably thinks I've been ignoring her but hopefully she knows I'd never be like that with her because as I've said to her a million times I think she is an awesome chick. I genuinely like her. I don't hang around her because I feel sorry for her. I hang around her because I enjoy her company. She makes me laugh and we always have a ball. She knows she can trust me and she has gotten better with her self esteem and her confidence but it's something that will take time to heal. I understand that so I let her be… I walked up the path and I nervously knocked at the door. Jenna answered.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Ahh um… hi Mrs. Fitch. Is Emily home?" I replied.

Jenna hasn't really said anything to me to make me so nervous but I can tell by her eyes that she absolutely hates my guts and I know sooner or later she's going to let it rip and tell me exactly what she thinks of me. Normally I wouldn't care but she's Emily's mother and as I've said before she's a scary fucking lady. The looks she gives you, I dunno… she kind of reminds me of a sniper, shooting out .50 cal bullets, killing her enemies from a mile away. Bodies dropping left right and fucking center.

"What do you want with her?"

"Mum stop being such a bitch yeah, she's Emily's friend." Katie said to her mother. She turned her gaze towards me. "Come in Naomi."

I looked at Jenna and didn't move until she politely stepped to the side.

"Thank you." I said quietly.

"Ems is upstairs." Katie announced.

I nodded in acknowledgement. When I first ran into Katie and we had out little altercation I honestly thought we were destined to be mortal enemies but as time went on and I'm not sure why but things between us have been alright. We're not the best of friends but we're not at each other's throats either so it ain't all bad… I climbed the stairs and knocked on Emily's door.

"It's open." I heard her say in her husky voice.

It sent a little shock wave through my entire body. It's weird… It's only been a week since I've spoken to her but with all honestly I fucking missed that voice of hers. I opened the door slowly and poked my head in the room.

"Hey."

She was sitting on her bed flipping through the pages of a magazine when she turned to face me and gave me a small smile.

"Hey Naoms."

I entered the room and closed the door behind me and sat on Katie's bed across from her.

"Whatcha been up to?" I asked.

"Nothing much really… you?"

"Same…"

She looked up from her magazine and smirked cheekily at me.

"What?" I asked amused.

She blushed and shook her head as she chuckled.

"Nothing."

"No seriously, what?"

"I thought something happened to you but turns out you've been in bed with Amy for a week."

She was mucking around but I felt guilty.

"About that Ems… I'm sorry yeah; I meant to call you..."

She cut me off.

"It's okay… just would have been nice if you messaged me. I thought you got locked up or something that's all… I was worried."

She looked down at the magazine, embarrassed as she realised she just admitted that she was worried. I understand where she's coming from though. I had accidentally gotten myself arrested for being drunk and disorderly about a week after the party. Emily was with me but luckily she wasn't drunk, she freaked out a little bit though. She had never seen anyone get arrested before and she didn't know what to do… Fuck, thinking about that now, I kind of know why people have a problem with me hanging around her… I'm sort of a bad influence…

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again okay. I promise."

She smiled and stood up and gave me a hug.

"What's that for?"

"I missed you… aren't friends allowed to give each other a hug." She replied as she pulled back.

I raised my eyebrow and pulled her back down for another hug and gently threw her on the bed.

"You wanna come over for dinner? Mum's cooking chicken." I asked as I looked down at her.

"Of course." She replied. "I'd eat you're mum's cooking over my mum's any day." She chuckled.

"Oh is that right…? I thought you liked coming over because of my winning personality." I replied grinning.

She shook her head.

"Nope, sorry babe… It's the food."

"I should have known." I replied as I shifted and starting tickling her. "You're a guts."

She was begging for me to stop. She was laughing her arse off. So was I. The way she was squirming around and trying to get me off of her was funny as. I kept torturing her for a bit longer before I stopped and kissed her on the forehead and unpinned her from underneath me.

"Come on then." I said as I started to get my laughter under control.

"You're such a bitch." She said smiling and completely out of breath.

"You love it." I replied.

I suspected that she blushed again but I couldn't really tell because her face was already bright red from all the laughing. Jenna came bursting into the room.

"What's going on in here?"

She looked over at Emily who was readjusting her top.

"Nothing mum." She replied.

Jenna just turned her gaze towards me and glared at me hatefully.

"It doesn't look like nothing." She said raising her eyebrow at me. "I think it's time for you to leave Naomi."

"Um, yeah… I was just leaving anyway."

I paused for a moment and thought 'how can I get on Jenna's good side?'

"Mrs. Fitch, would it be okay if Emily came over to my place for dinner. My mum invited her over."

"I don't think that would be appropriate." She simply replied.

(Fucking hell… I guess there's no winning when it comes to Jenna Fucking Fitch. I was only trying to be polite for fucks sake.)

I turned to face Emily who looked highly disappointed at her mother's reaction. I tried to apologise through my facial expression but I don't know if she caught on or not. Katie poked her head into the room.

"I'll see her out mum."

(What a bitch. What is it? Gang up on Naomi day. Jesus fucking Christ.)

"Um, okay… see ya Ems. I'll see you at school on Monday." I said, flashing her a depressed smile.

I wanted so badly to tell them all to go and get fucked and grab Emily by the hand and leave, but I bit my tongue. I know that Jenna's a bitch and all but she is Emily's mother. I have to show some level of respect.

(But why? You don't usually give a fuck… What's going on with you Naoms?)

I brushed past Jenna and accompanied Katie to the front door. I didn't say anything to her because I was fucking pissed off. She didn't say anything either. I heard the front door close as I continued my way up the street.

"Fucking hell, you lezza's walk fast. Wait up."

I stopped and looked at Katie completely confused.

"Listen." She said. "I'm going out in an hour. I'll tell mum that Ems is coming with me so she can get out the house. I'll drop her past your place okay?"

"I'm surprised you fucking trust me Katie? Aren't you worried that I'm just trying to get into her pants? Everyone else seems to be."

I didn't mean to say that but I was still fuming and like once I'm angry it takes a little while for me to calm the fuck down. She glared at me for a moment.

"Naomi, I know you. You would have tried by now."

"Yeah well… how do you know I haven't already?"

She slapped me.

"You better fucking not have."

(This is getting out of hand. Suck it up.)

I sighed heavily.

"I haven't… Sorry."

She sighed heavily too.

"Do you want her over or not?" She asked.

"Yes of course I do."

"Okay then. One hour." She replied.

She turned around and headed back to her house.

"Katie." I called out after her.

She stopped and turned around.

"What muff muncher?"

"Thanks yeah."

She smiled, turned back around and continued on her path.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Knock Knock<strong>_

"I'll get it." I called out to my mother.

I hopped down the stairs and opened the door.

"EMS." I said grinning from ear to ear.

I wrapped her in a playful hug and practically carried her inside. I think I shocked her a little bit because she looked a little stunned. I released her and she was smirking back at me.

"Happy to see me, I see."

"You know it." I replied. "Hey, where's Katie?"

"Oh she kept going."

I frowned for a second.

"Wait here yeah."

I exited through the front door and looked to my right and then to my left when I spotted her walking up towards the main road. I ran up beside her.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I'm going out. Why?"

"Come back and have something to eat."

She smiled.

"Nah that's okay. Next time yeah."

"Suit yourself." I replied "Have fun."

I turned around and walked back to the house and closed the door. Emily had gone into the kitchen and was chatting away with my mum. I sat down beside Emily as mum was dishing up the food.

"Oh Naoms, would it be okay if I slept over tonight. Katie said she wasn't going home and my mum would think it's weird if I go home without her. She'll know something's up."

"Ems, do you have to even ask?"

She smiled.

"Okay girls, eat up."

"Thanks ma."

"Thanks Mrs. ah I mean Gina." Emily said.

Although Ems has been coming here for the last 4 months she still slips up sometimes. It's funny. She gets all embarrassed… We ate our dinner and Ems helped mum with the dishes. I went into the lounge and flicked through some DVD's to pick one out for later. I wasn't really sure what Emily liked so I just left them out and went upstairs quickly to roll a couple of after dinner spliffs. I came back down stairs and grabbed two cans of coke out of the fridge…

"Ems when you're ready, come out the back."

Mum didn't care. Well she did, but as she was a bit of hippie and whatever she enjoyed smoking the green stuff every now and then her self. She told me as long as I didn't get too excited with it, it was fine. She was cool like that. She was laid back. She didn't like me using anything else though. She knew I had tried other drugs and got carried away with them but she always made sure she let me know. She could go right off sometimes to the point were I'd almost be shitting bricks… Ems came out about 5 minutes later and sat beside me. I had only had two drags out of my spliff so I just passed that to her and sparked the other up for myself.

"Hey, you up for a movie?" I asked as I exhaled.

"Yeah… what movie?"

"Um well, I wasn't sure because I don't really know what you like…"

"Anything horror." She replied.

I almost choked on the smoke.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You just don't seem the type?"

She frowned at me.

"And what type is that Naomi?"

"Ah… me."

She giggled.

"Well, I'm full of surprises."

"You're not wrong." I smirked. "I've got almost every horror movie known to mankind, so you name it and more then likely I've got it."

"Okay, um… You've put me on the spot now. I can't think of any."

"What's your favourite then?"

"You'll laugh if I tell you."

"No I won't… unless of course you consider The Return Of The Living Dead as horror." I chuckled.

She scoffed.

"No way, that movie was crap."

I smiled because I thought the same.

"Um okay… A Nightmare On Elm Street." She replied hesitantly.

I scrunched up my face as I asked her 'which one.'

"The original." She answered.

(That's my favourite too.)

I let out the breath I was holding.

"Oooh you are sooo lucky. I was about to kick you out of my house. I thought you were going to say the remake."

"Shut up." She giggled. "There's only one person who should be playing Freddy and that's Robert Englund." She replied rather seriously.

(Fuck me.)

"Okay… test time. What N.O.E. movies are your favourite?"

"Part 1, 3, 4 and sometimes 5… oh and New Nightmare." She replied all cocky like.

To be honest I was in absolute shock. There weren't too many girls that were into horror on the same level as I was. I took it seriously and judging by Emily's answers she did too.

"What part did Nancy die in?"

"Part three." She replied straight off the bat.

"I'm impressed." I said to her.

"Okay… Who played her boyfriend in part one?"

"Johnny Depp."

"What was his characters name?"

"Glen."

I smirked at her. She wasn't lying when she said it was her favourite.

"Who directed it?"

"Um, Wes Craven."

"Okay one more question… In part five, how did Rick die?"

She raised her eyebrow at me. She knew it was a trick question.

"Rick wasn't in part five because he died in part four. Freddy got him in the guts with his glove." She replied as she crossed her arms triumphantly.

I stared at her for a moment without a response. She started to get uncomfortable.

"What?" She asked shyly.

I put my hand over my heart and tried to stay as serious as possible.

"I think I'm in love."

She gasped and slapped my arm as I erupted into laughter. I pinned her to the ground and nuzzled her neck pretending to be a lion going in for the kill. She was giggling hysterically. I pulled back a little as the laughter died down. I found myself just staring into her gorgeous eyes. I've been doing that a lot lately. I don't know how long I was staring for but it must have been for a long moment because Emily was no longer smiling. She looked rather nervous…

"You girls okay out there? You've gone quiet all of a sudden." My mum called out.

I shook it off and moved away completely and sat on my knees.

(Fucking idiot you are.)

"Yeah mum, were fine."

I turned back to Emily unable to quite look her in the eye for fear I would lose all resolve.

"Um, you wanna watch that movie now?" I asked as I stood up and extended my hand to help her up.

"Yeah." She simply said.

We wandered into the lounge room and in passing my mum gave me a disapproving look. I turned away and walked up to the DVD player and set up the movie. Emily and I didn't speak a word throughout the whole sitting. In fact I wasn't even really watching it… my confusing thoughts were else where...

* * *

><p>"See… lucky you left some clothes here." I grinned as she re-entered my bedroom.<p>

I told Ems to leave some spare clothes at mine because it saved her carrying a bag to and from her place every weekend. It was just easier and more convenient… We had finished up with the movie, had another spliff and decided we'd get showered and chill out in my room for a bit with some music. I was lying on my bed with my back propped up against the bed head, feeling the THC course through my body as I listened to the music I had put on. I was a fan of all different kinds of music. It didn't matter. Old, new, rock, hip hop whatever… If it has a good beat I like it and as I'm stoned off my tits right now, there's nothing like a bit of 2Pac to sit back and chill out too.

.

_**Lord have mercy, Father help us all**_

_**Since you supplied yo' phone number, I can't help but call**_

_**Time for action, conversatin', we relaxin', kickin' back**_

_**Got you curious for Thug Passion, now picture that**_

_**Tongue kissin', hand full of hair, look in my eyes**_

_**Time to make the bed rock, baby look how it rise**_

_**Me and you movin' in the nude, do it in the livin' room**_

_**Sweatin' up the sheets, it's the Thug in me**_

_**I mean no disrespectin' when I tongue kiss your neck**_

_**I go a long way to get you wet, what you expect**_

_**Late night, hit the highway, drop the top**_

_**I pull over, gettin' busy in the parkin' lot**_

_**And don't you love it how I lick your, hips and glide**_

_**Kiss you soft on your stomach, push my love inside**_

_**Got ya lost in a love zone, stuck in the lust**_

_**I got the bedroom shakin' back-breakin' when we're tossin' it up...**_

_**.**_

_**Goodness baby, I like the way it's going down**_

_**When nobodies around, slip slide ride**_

_**Giving me that nice smile**_

_**Female I like, what I wanna get all night**_

_**You and me alone... everybody's gone**_

_**Toss it up, baby let's get it ah-ah-on**_

_**I like the way you please me, baby**_

_**The sexy way you tease me, sugar**_

_**The way you move your body**_

_**Really drives me crazy**_

_**Your body's hypnotizing**_

_**Your smile is so exciting**_

_**So baby come on home with me**_

_**I like the way you give it to me**_

_**.**_

_**I like the way you give it to me**_

_**Let me see you toss it uh-uh-up…**_

_**.**_

(Fuck sake… breathe Naomi…)

I had to turn the song off. There was no way I could sit there and listen to it with Emily sitting right next to me… ON MY BED… and not like, attack her. Hearing the lyrics and seeing Ems at the same time, Christ…

"Heeey, I like that song." Emily said annoyed that I had turned it off.

"Huh?"

"The song… I like it. I always listen to it." She replied.

"You? You like 2Pac?"

She nodded.

"Um Naoms, didn't you notice the 2Pac poster on my bedroom wall?"

"Ah yeah, but I thought it was Katie's."

"Yeah well, she decided she liked it and put it on her side of the room."

I laughed. Ems expression was hilarious.

"Steal it back."

"No point… she'll only reclaim it. Doesn't matter though, I get a better view of it."

"A better view huh?" I said smirking.

"Shut up… his hot."

"His dead."

She gasped.

"You take that back."

"Christ Ems, don't tell me you're one of those who thinks his still alive and living in fucking Cuba?"

She squinted at me angrily as she folded her arms. After a brief moment, she rolled her eyes playfully. We both cracked up laughing. She was having me on. Cheeky bitch…

"You're right though. He is hot." I chuckled.

She raised her eyebrow at me.

"I thought you were gay?"

"I thought you were too?" I replied.

We both laughed again.

"I'm gay as window babe, but I'd definitely make an exception for him." I said.

It's true, like I know his no longer living but God he is sexy or was sexy… Emily settled beside me, lying on the bed and we stayed silent for a moment. I unscrewed the lid of the vodka and took a nervous swig. I was still affected by the song. It's strange because that's never happened before.

"Naoms, why didn't you kiss me before?"

(OH MY GOD…)

Bloody hell. She sure knows how to pick her moments. I sprayed vodka all over myself. I wiped my mouth and chin that was dripping with alcohol and turned to face Emily completely fucking shocked.

"What?" I coughed.

"I know you wanted too… but why didn't you?"

I was trying to speak but all that came out was um's and ahh's.

"Is it because I haven't been with anyone before?"

"Um, ahhh, um… no."

She turned to face me.

"Be honest."

(Fuck. She's noticed all my little moments of weakness. FUCK… Okay don't stress, just be honest with her.)

"Ems do you think the reason I haven't tried anything with you is because you're inexperienced?"

She nodded slowly.

"You're wrong you know."

"Then explain it to me… because to be honest Naoms I'm completely confused. Sometimes the way you look at me…" She paused and exhaled. "I know you like me." She said matter of factly.

I stayed silent. I don't know why… I think I was freaking out.

"Naomi?"

My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. Fuck, fuck, fuck…

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"Ahhh, maybe we should get some sleep yeah." I replied gently.

I leaned over and placed a tender kiss on her forehead and tucked myself under the covers. I switched off the bedside lamp and closed my eyes facing the opposite direction in fear that if I looked at her I'd crumble and express what I was feeling and maybe show her too… I'm not ready for this…

* * *

><p>It's been 2 months. Me and Ems haven't spoken any further about the whole 'kiss' thing. The first couple of days were a bit awkward, mainly for me. It's fucking terrifying. I've never liked someone as much as I like Emily and I don't really know what do to, ya know. I know what I'm like too and the last thing I want to do is fuck her up. I care for her too fucking much… I just, fuck. I don't know how to handle it. This has never happened to me before. Somehow, Emily has gotten through all my fucking armour and do you want to know something?… I think I let her. Nothings changed between us. We're still inseparable. She still sleeps over etc. Just the subject hasn't been brought back up to much of my relief because I honestly don't think I'd be able to keep quiet if she were to ask me again. I don't want to wreck our friendship…<p>

"Katie, have you seen Ems?"

"Nah why?"

"She usually waits for me after the bell."

"She's probably just running late."

"Yeah, maybe."

Something wasn't sitting right. Emily is never late. Maybe early sometimes, but NEVER late. That was just her.

"If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her yeah."

"Yeah." She replied smiling.

I walked off and wandered around the yard for a bit. I checked the loo's but no sign of her. I checked the hallways, still nothing. I went for a walk behind the class rooms and I could hear arguing. I hurriedly walked over and turned the corner. Whatever was going down, it was five onto one, which in my fucking book is a HUGE fuck-ing no-no. I'm kind of old school like that. One on one ya know. No weapons, unless of course the other fucker has one, but you have a punch up and walk away with no payback shit. Sort it out there and then… I walked over and heard someone scream 'fuck off' and my heart fucking sank. It was husky, it was Emily's. I immediately ran over and pushed my way through and got in between, completely panicked. I quickly looked at Emily, fearfully. That fear soon disappeared when I saw bruising across her right cheek.

"One of you CUNTS is gonna cop it. Which one's it gonna be?" I said bearing my teeth in a fucking homicidal rage as I turned to face the pack of bitches.

I was shitting myself, because it was five on to me now… but as long as I take one down with me, I'll cop it with a smile on my face and of course I prefer it to be me rather then Ems. I was going off of past experiences too. Usually in a pack, one or two are the muscle and the remaining are just all mouth. Take down the 'leader', the other's usually back off…

One of them stepped forward all smug and cocky. I heard Emily gasp and I knew straight away that this was the bitch that had hit her. Without warning I swung a right hook and punched her on the side of her face. I watched as she fell to the ground and quickly raised my eyes at the remaining four incase they were ready to pounce. Three had backed off but one wanted to have a go.

"COME ON THEN." I yelled through clenched teeth.

She came rushing at me and slammed me painfully into the wall as she used all her body weight. I yelled at Emily to move out of the way because she almost got collected. I grabbed bitch number two by her shirt and tripped her onto the ground. I wasn't supposed to go down with her but she caught my tie and dragged me down. She went for my hair. Fuck I hate hair pullers. I knocked her hand out the way but wasn't paying attention to her other one and so she got a punch in, cutting my lip. It stunned me for a few seconds. She sat on top of me and tried to punch me again but the taste of my own blood gave me an extra hit of adrenalin. I flipped her over using all the strength I could muster and straddled her legs. I quickly got back up, dragging her up with me, because I don't like hitting people when their down, well I have done a couple of times but usually no… she went to go me again and I didn't have room to throw a punch so I used my elbow instead, hitting her in the mouth. Her head snapped back immediately with a tooth dislodging from her gum as it went through the air followed by a small spray of blood. It looked like it was in slow motion in my fit of pure fucking rage. She was done. I turned back around. The first bitch was still on the ground rubbing her swollen cheek and rocking from side to side. FUCK HER. I went over and gave her a kick in the guts; after all, she's the cunt that hit MY FUCKING EMILY. The other three tarts had long gone… I was fucking furious. I felt like I had just smoked a heap of fucking ice and was peaking off my face, completely off my fucking nut. I had this image in my head of the Incredible Hulk for some reason. Yeah, this must be how he feels when he gets pissed off. I leaned down and grabbed the bitch by her arms and pulled her up violently.

"Naomi, stop it."

I turned to face the voice. It was Emily. She was looking at me worriedly.

"Naoms, I'm, I'm okay… just… let her go."

I turned my gaze and squinted at the tart whose arms I was still clutching.

"Today's you're lucky day." I chuckled psychotically. "Now FUCK OFF." I said as my face turned awfully serious, clenching my jaw and pushing her backwards.

(FUCKING CUNT.)

She turned away and went to run off hurriedly. I couldn't help myself, I swooped her leg which caused her to trip and gave her another few kicks and stomped her once, bringing all my weight down into the blow. She cried out in pain but I didn't give a flying fuck. I was explosive. I was so angry I was almost hyperventilating. Fucking hell… Emily came over to me hesitantly as I was breathing heavily. My chest was heaving up and down while I tried to get my breathing under control while I was looking down at the bitch. Emily pushed me away which snapped me out of my daze. The girl stood up and took the opportunity to limp away. I was sort of frozen, like a statue.

"Naomi… are, are you okay?"

I heard her, but it sounded like it was so far away. I felt her tug on my sleeve to gain my attention. I turned my gaze towards her and she flinched slightly.

"Fuck sake, come here." I said relieved as I stepped forward and wrapped her in my embrace. "What the fuck happened?" I asked as I pulled away to look at her.

"I don't know. I was on my way to meet you and they surrounded me calling me a bitch and a loser… I tried to stick up for myself, I tried to get away, I really did but they wouldn't let me…" She said as she trailed off and started to cry.

"Shhh, Ems... It's okay." I said soothingly as she clung to me completely distraught.

The bell went for classes.

"Let's go yeah… you're coming to mine."

"But school..." She sniffled.

"Fuck school… besides have a look at me. My shirts black, I got dirt in my hair, my slacks are ripped and my fucking back is killing me."

She raised her hand towards me and placed her thumb over my forgotten cut lip and wiped the blood away. Usually Emily would refuse and stay at school, but as she looked at my bleeding and swollen lip in concern, she agreed.

We walked out the school gates and headed for my place. I stepped closer to her as I placed my hand in hers, raising it up and kissing the back her hand as we walked in a comfortable silence… She was safe.

* * *

><p>I opened the front door and allowed Ems to enter first.<p>

"NAOMI, GET IN HERE NOW." My mum screamed furiously.

"Ems, wait up stairs." I said quietly as I turned away and went straight into the kitchen where my mother was.

"I just got off the fuck-ing phone to your school. You've been expelled. The parents of those poor girls want to press charges."

"Whatever. I don't care."

(Poor girls? They obviously failed to mention their little part in all this.)

Emily gasped behind me. I think 'press charges' had caused it.

"Naomi do you realise if they go to the police you're headed straight to jail. Fuck sake. I told you to keep your nose clean…"

"What did I just fucking say. I Don't Care."

My mum stormed over and started hitting me.

"YOU STUPID, STUPID GIRL..."

"Gina… GINA." Emily screamed.

My mum stopped and looked at Emily in complete and utter shock.

"It's not her fault."

"Emily, you don't understand. This is her last strike… she's going to go to jail." My mum paused as she stepped back and almost fainted onto the chair behind her. "My little girl is going to end up in…" She trailed off as she broke down in tears.

I rushed straight to her side.

"Mum, I'm sorry… I didn't mean it I swear… they… they were hitting Emily. I, I couldn't just stand there and do nothing…" I stopped for a second. "Mum I'm sorry." I said panicked.

She wrapped me in a hug and kissed me on the top of my head as she cried. She started to rock me back and forth like I was a baby.

"It's okay love. We'll sort this… we'll explain. It was self defense… we'll get you back in school okay… Everything will be fine."

She pulled me back from her embrace and stroked my cheek.

"Go and get yourself cleaned up love… I'll make you something to eat."

It gave me the creeps the way mum was acting. She seemed disconnected.

I looked at her worriedly.

"Go on, off you go."

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes love… I'll be fine. I'll sort out this whole mess, don't you worry your little head about it."

"Ahhh yeah, okay." I replied.

My mum hasn't spoken to me like that since I was 8 years old. I turned back to Emily who was in a complete daze.

"Ems?"

"Hmmm." Was all she could say.

"Come on." I replied softly as I took her hand and led her up to my room.

We entered my bedroom and I motioned for Emily to sit on my bed. She didn't say anything… she was still very much in a stunned state.

"I'm just gonna clean myself up a bit yeah. You gonna be okay?"

She nodded slowly. I left the room and did what I had to do and went back in there. Emily hadn't moved an inch. She was just staring at my wall blankly. I sat down beside her and took her hand. She didn't really notice. I gently nudged her in the shoulder to gain her attention. She turned her head and a lump formed at the back of my throat as I looked into her eyes. Tears were silently streaming down her face. She wrapped me in a crushing hug.

"I'm so sorry." She said as she completely broke down in tears, resting her head on my chest. "It's all my fault…"

I cut her off.

"Emily don't say that… how can it be you're fault. You didn't do anything." I replied.

"You got into a fight because of me." She sobbed.

I pulled her back and looked into her eyes intensely.

"It is not you're fault okay. Christ, you didn't even know about any of this."

I paused for a moment as I saw fresh tears well up in those beautiful chocolate brown eyes of hers.

"Listen, it may not turn out all that bad… maybe once I explain, things might be okay, ya know." I said optimistically.

Deep down I knew that it probably wouldn't matter anyway. I was warned by the judge the last time I got into trouble… He told me to stay well out of it. No more chances. Whatever though… I don't regret what I did, not one fucking bit. What will be, will be.

* * *

><p>Mum had organised a kind of mediation with the two girls and they're parents to see if it could be sorted without involving the police. I was so fucking nervous that day. I smoked an ounce of weed just to keep myself sane. Emily insisted that she come along. I didn't want her to but she did insist. In a way I'm glad I caved in and said yes to her coming because the parents didn't believe a word I had said. Emily immediately raised her hand and demanded that they listen to her. She explained what had been happening at school before the incident and then she went on to say what had happened that particular day. Fuck I was so proud of her. Not because she had gotten me off the hook. It was because there is no way that what she did for me would have been easy to do. To stand up in front of a room full of people and tell each and every one of them that she is bullied constantly by a certain group of girls. What they've done to her. The names they call her. How it makes her feel etc. I don't cry… but I did that day. She doesn't realise this because she thinks she's weak for not being able to handle the whole bullying thing but she's stronger then any of us could ever hope to be. What she did deserves a fucking medal… I'll never forget what she did for me. I know how fucking hard it was for her. Her voice was cracking severely throughout the whole thing… Luck was definitely on my side. Those two bitches ended up getting expelled and I got my place back at school. Unbelievable I know, but fuck me, it's true. After the day of the mediation and the parents agreed to not press charges, when we got home my mum wouldn't release me from her embrace for about 40 minutes. She was so happy. When I finally wiggled free, it was Emily's turn. She marched me upstairs and gave me a firm talking too… I felt that I owed her the truth especially after what she did for me so I explained everything. I told her about the drugs which she already knew about, the dealings with police, the stealing etc… I thought that she would run out of the room and scream down the street, but she never. She didn't judge me… all she said was 'DON'T get into anymore trouble'. I think it scared her a little, the thought of me going to jail. That's just the type of person she is. She's a bit of a worrier and I mean we are pretty close… so I get it. I mean if it was Ems, I'd be fucking terrified for her.<p>

Katie came over later that night. It's the first time she's ever set foot in my place. Actually I didn't even know that she was coming. She wanted to talk to me. It made me all the more curious when she asked Ems to leave the room. She was a completely different person to the one I had gotten to know from school. She admitted to me that she had been nothing but a fucking bitch to Emily over the years and she's been a cunt of a sister. Those are her words by the way… Fucking hell, I kept my mouth shut because honestly I had no idea what to fucking say. She said she had been a complete twat and allowed those bitches to pick on Emily because that meant that they left HER alone. She was in love with all of the attention and the popularity that came along with it and it was just too hard to give up. Katie said that she appreciated what I had done for Ems and she felt like a complete idiot because it took a stranger to show her what was important, what was right. She gave me a hug and everything. I couldn't believe it. She also said that it's not my job to look out for Emily. It's hers. She should have been the one looking out for her that day… I said it wasn't a job. I told Katie that Emily was my dearest friend and I'd do anything for her… Katie gave me a strange looking smile and just simply said 'I know' before she stood up and left… Bloody hell, by the end of the day I felt like I had been on one HUGE fucking acid trip. That's how weird and wonderful it was, all at the same time… anyway that was like months ago. All that shit has passed. Ems gets left alone now. She is like a whole new person. She hasn't changed; she's just more confident and doesn't take shit anymore. She deals with it there and then plus after the last fight I was in, the girls know what will happen if they pick on her and they don't have their 'muscle' anymore. Them two bitches are long gone…

"Naoms, what's wrong?"

"Huh?"

I was distracted. I've been like that a lot lately. Emily was finding it hard to keep her balance. She was well out of it.

"Is there something bothering you? You seem a million miles away."

"Oh…" I paused for a moment and shook the thoughts away. "I'm okay. I was just thinking." I replied.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nah, it's no biggie. I'll be right."

"You sure babe?" She asked still looking concerned.

"Yes." I smiled.

She looked at me for a long moment before she spoke.

"Okay, but you know I'm here…?" She slurred.

"I know."

It's beyond me how she was even able to carry out a conversation in her state. She was completely smashed… She nodded and went back over to where everybody was dancing… Okay, so you are all probably wondering why I have been so distracted lately. Well it's simple really. Since Ems has become more confident in herself, well… other people have noticed. Other GIRLS have noticed and I don't mean to be selfish but I'm not really liking it. Like tonight for example. I've sat on the side lines at this STUPID party and watched 5 different girls ask Emily for a dance. One of them became a little too comfortable and started putting their filthy hands all over her. I couldn't stop glaring at that stupid slag. She saw me and practically ran away from Ems… that's how fucking mean my stare was…FUCK, sorry, but you'll have to excuse me for a moment. Emily's kind of off her tits and is being led to a room. The girl who's leading her into that room is someone I know without even knowing her. I can see. She's someone like me but there's a difference… she doesn't care about Emily; she just cares about what she can get from her… She doesn't… fuck it, doesn't matter…

I stood up and made my way towards the room that Emily went into. I opened the door and it's exactly how I envisioned it. She already had Emily's pants off.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"No one." I replied.

The girl pushed me back as I went over towards Emily.

"Can't you see I'm about to get a root?"

_**CRACK **_

"Be a bit hard when your nose is fuckin' broken, ey." I said as I looked down towards her with an evil smirk.

She was cupping her nose in agony as she sat on the floor. I know, I've got this thing with hitting people in the nose. Basically, the reason for this is because the person you hit loses interest pretty quickly. It's extremely painful and like if the pain doesn't get to them, well getting hit in the nose instantly brings tears to your eyes. You can't see shit so if they have a go I've got full advantage… I walked over to Emily. She didn't really know what was going on. No doubt the room was spinning. I picked up her jeans and put them back on her.

"Ems… Emily?"

"Naoms… I think I'm gonna be sick." She slurred.

"Come on yeah… I think you need some fresh air."

I helped her up and as we went to pass the bitch with the broken nose, Ems spewed her guts up all over her. Hahaha fucking funny. That'll teach the slag for trying to take advantage of someone who's off their face. I patted Emily's back as she did it.

"Good girl." I chuckled sarcastically.

(Fuck I'm evil sometimes… but no one fucks with Emily.)

She couldn't even walk. I had to hold her up.

"Naomi, what the fuck yeah?" Katie asked as she came over.

"What?"

"Did you give her something?"

"No fucking way. She's pissed." I replied, shocked by Katie's accusation.

She noticed that we were coming out of a bedroom. Her face changed and she squinted at me angrily.

"Did you just fuck my sister?"

"Yeah right Katie, while she's like this. Fuck sake." I replied rolling my eyes.

(Fucking hell, I know I've been known to get around but fuck, what does she think I am?)

"Why is her fly down?"

"Katie, if you bother to look over my shoulder, you'll get your answer."

She looked at me suspiciously for a moment and then moved her head to the side. When she saw the slag on the floor with blood and vomit all over her she looked back at me distressed.

"Don't worry, nothing happened." I replied seriously

"Naomi, her fly is down."

"Trust me; she didn't get a chance to do anything."

She paused for a moment, pursed her lips and placed her hands on her hips before she spoke.

"You broke her nose for nothing?"

"No. I had reason." I replied.

"Ohhh Naoms, please take me home. I feel sick." Emily interrupted.

"Okay… were going now." I replied soothingly as I rubbed her back.

Katie was still looking at me.

"Katie, trust me okay. That slag would be unconscious if… ya know."

She exhaled heavily, letting out the breath she was obviously holding. She nodded and walked away, satisfied with my answer.

We arrived home about 30 minutes later. I had to stop a few times to let Ems chuck. I cleaned her up as best I could, changed her clothes, popped her into bed and I jumped in beside her. I didn't even bother getting undressed. I had this urge to wrap my arms around her… I tried to ignore it but I did it anyway. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me with her back up against my chest.

"Mmmm, thank you for saving me." Emily mumbled before she succumbed to a drunken slumber.

I chuckled lightly at her choice of words. I squeezed her gently and closed my eyes. Several minutes went by while I was deep in thought as Emily slept…

(I think I… I…)

"I love you." I whispered.

_**TBC…**_

**Lyrics in this chapter are from;**

**Toss It Up – 2Pac ft. K-Ci & JoJo, Danny Boy and Aaron Hall**

**Thanks for reading. Have a lovely day/night ;) Until next time, take care.**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Lives We Lead**

**Part III**

**Far out, where do I start? You guys are amazing… I really mean that. All your reviews have been lovely, fantastic etc…**

**Thank you to each and every one of you.**

**sexpistols - gumyumgirl - Valsy - EPC 123 - iwetta - Zzz - M - whudafxup – Alice**

**You guys are all special to me… but I really do need to say that the next two people have been absolutely wonderful. They have given me the confidence to continue writing and I will be forever grateful to them.**

**- reddawg82 **

**- Beck89**

**If it wasn't for these two, who are awesome by the way ;) I wouldn't be writing this author's note… in fact, this story would never have been posted. They have been supportive from pretty much day one and I'm not just talking about the story… (You two know what I mean)… It hasn't been easy for me, but having these two around… Bloody hell, there are just no words. So Red and Beck THANK YOU… Love ya both :) You are both gorgeous souls.**

**Okay, I'll shut up now… Here's the next chapter, enjoy.**

FUCK. There it is… I can't take it back. I've said it out loud. I love her. She didn't hear it but it doesn't change the fact that I've said it. Fuck sake, I don't even know if she feels the same way, ya know. Well, I know she likes me… but love is a whole different fucking ball game. It's a big word… for me anyway. I've never said it to another person before, not seriously. I have now though… What's tripping me the fuck out is that I haven't even slept with Emily. Truth be told, we haven't even kissed, not properly. How the fuck does that work? I've felt like this for a while. Actually if I tell the truth, when I first met her… I just knew there was something about her. There was something that drew me to her. I admit that at the time I couldn't really identify what those feelings were. I thought it was just a lust thing and plus I was high and I assumed it was the drugs. Looking back though, I know that that's not true… I dunno. I mean, what am I talking about here? Love at first sight? Fucking hell, it's impossible… isn't it? It's okay though. I'll handle it. Maybe now that I've said it, I can get over this… I'm fucking terrified.

_**Knock Knock**_

"Yeah?"

"Naoms, it's me. Can I come in?"

"Yeah it's open."

Emily opened my bedroom door and entered my room. As soon as she saw the state I was in, she frowned. I don't blame her. I'm a little head fucked at the moment and the only way I know how to deal with it and make myself feel better is to get absolutely trashed and fuck as many girls as I possibly can. Fucking hell, that sounds terrible. I don't know how to explain it. I either don't give a shit and let things go and carry on as normal or things get right into my head and I can't fucking think about anything else and I become sort of self destructive… it's weird. I've got no gray area, ya know. It's black or white with me. It's one side or the other, no middle. I haven't been to school for like two weeks and I've only spoken to Ems briefly on the phone. I'm a bit like a turtle sometimes. When something scares me I retreat into my shell where I'm protected. Nothing can hurt me and nothing can penetrate through. Does that make sense? Probably not, sometimes I don't even know what I'm talking about.

I expected Emily to be her usual gentle self but she appeared to be on the furious side. She didn't beat around the bush. She got straight to the point.

"What's going on with you?" She asked with her eyebrow cocked.

"Nothing, why?"

"Don't lie. I can see you're going through something…"

I cut her off.

"Ems I'm fine… just been partying a little too hard that's all." I replied with a weak grin.

She scoffed.

"You haven't been to school for two fucking weeks Naoms. You're going to fail…"

I turned my gaze away. She sighed.

"You know you can talk to me Naomi. Fucking hell, you've always been there for me and I'm trying to be there for you but you won't fuck-ing let me."

"Babe relax okay… I'm fine."

I turned and started to roll a spliff.

"You want one?" I asked.

"NO…" She shouted. "Sorry. No thank you."

She walked over to my bed and sat down. She swung around the chair I was sitting on so I would be facing her. I sparked up the spliff and took a gigantic fucking drag and held the smoke in until my brain was screaming out for oxygen.

"Please Naoms; I don't like seeing you like this. I know something's wrong. I can tell. You haven't been like this for months. Please babe I want to help."

There was a slight pause as she observed me.

"Babe, you haven't gotten into any trouble have you?"

I could see the look of terror flash across her face.

"No… nothing like that. I mean, I'm fine… I've just gotten carried away with ya know, other activities. I'll be back at school on Monday."

She frowned at me again.

"You're lying to me."

Silence.

"I'm fucking worried about you Naomi." She said, her voice high pitched.

"Emily listen to me. There's nothing to worry about…"

"Fine be like that." She said as she stood up in frustration.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Home… if you change your mind, call me… but I have to get out of here because you're PISSING me right off."

She leaned down and placed a rough kiss on my cheek. She pulled back and looked at me worriedly.

"Whatever it is… I hope you can sort it because I can't stand to see you like this. You're stressing me out. I'm fucking worried sick."

And with that she hurriedly left my room. I heard her say goodbye to my mum and the front door close. I looked out the window and watched her walk away. She was wiping her face with the back of her sleeve.

(FUCK)

* * *

><p>I went back to school on the Monday like I had said. That whole week I didn't skip once. Emily was relieved because she really did care if I failed or not. She wanted me to pass all my subjects and finish school. Have some kind of qualifications ya know. She's good like that. She's never too busy when I'm having a hard time with something in particular because I've zoned out during class and I didn't hear a fucking word the teacher had said. She'd come over my place and help me. She's fucking smart… and that's without even really trying. I reckon she could be anything she wants to be, whether it be a lawyer, a doctor fuck, just anything… We didn't really talk much at school. Our lunch times were shared in silence. I didn't mean to be like that; it's just, I am so fucking confused about shit right now. I know it's simple. Just tell her and if she loves you right back, you can live happily ever after blah blah blah… BUT even though I have shagged a heap of girls, I have never actually had a relationship with any of them. I didn't want to. Actually, that's kind of a lie, but that tale is for another day. Anyway, that's what's scaring me... I know Ems wants to get with me. I can see it. She has her moments of playful flirting. Sometimes I catch her staring at me with her immediately giving me a shy smile and turning away with her cheeks as red as her hair but then I question myself. Maybe she doesn't like me like that ya know. I know she's shy and that's why she tends to blush all the fucking time, I dunno… My non talkative attitude is due to the fact that my brain has completely short circuited. All the files have been scattered around and I have to manually sort through them to see which file goes where. If this was to happen again, I suppose I'd be able to get through it quicker ya know, but as this is the first time that this has ever happened, I'm completely fucking lost… Anyway, enough of that.<p>

I picked up the bottle of scotch that had been handed too me by the host of the party. I have no fucking idea who she is… she doesn't go to our school but she seems to know Katie and her friends. She's getting her self acquainted with Ems at the moment… Although right now I'm pinned against the wall by some tart whose name I have no idea, I can't get my eyes off of Emily. Emily turned her head for a moment and caught my eye. Even as I'm being kissed by this chick, my eyes are open and I'm completely distracted by what's unfolding on the other side of the room. I'm not liking it and it's making me kind of angry, actually kind of furious as I see that other bitch flirting and touching Emily's arm as she speaks to her… I know. You don't have to tell me. I'm fucked in the head. If I'm allowed to fuck around and see different people then Ems has that same right too. We're not even together and I'm acting like a jealous girlfriend…

This girl I'm with is starting to get a little annoyed because I'm not really paying attention to her even though she's trying everything she can to gain it.

"What the hell are you looking at?" She finally asks me.

I didn't really hear her to be honest. She cast her gaze over to where I was looking.

"Which one?"

"What?" I asked.

"The brunette or the red head?"

I didn't say anything. She sighed.

"Why are you here with me when you should clearly be over there?" She said matter of factly.

"Huh?"

She frowned at me. I stared at her for a moment deciding on what to do.

(Fuck it.)

I leaned in and kissed her roughly. I swapped our positions and pinned her against the wall. I pulled back and took another swig of scotch and crashed our lips together once again. I was well out of it and because of my angered state; I was going to give it to her good and fucking proper. I started to run my hand up and down her thigh and roughly lifted her skirt as she brought her leg around my waist… I started rubbing my hand over her knickers as I kissed her open mouthed. She started to move her hips slightly as she groaned and just as I was about to rip her knickers from her body… I was pulled away from her.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She shrieked.

"Um, isn't it obvious? I replied.

"Come on, we're going home." She said as she dragged me away.

I was in a bit of shock and kind of speechless for about five minutes. It wasn't until my intoxicated brain had gotten some fresh air did I realise that Emily was dragging me down the street.

"Wait… what the fuck Ems?"

She stopped and turned to face me. Her eyebrow raised and her arms folded.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked.

I looked at her completely confused.

"Forget it." She said.

She spun around and stormed her way down the street. I stood there for a moment unable to process what the fuck was going on exactly. I shook it off and caught up to her.

"Forget what?" I asked.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." She replied quickly.

I gently grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Ems, why are you pissed? What did I do?"

"Can we just go home please?" She pleaded angrily.

I observed her for a short moment. The look in her eye confused the fuck out of me even more.

"Um yeah, okay." I replied softly.

A half an hour later we arrived at my place. We went into my bedroom in complete silence. The only noise was coming from my CD player which Emily had just turned on.

"I…um, I'm gonna go and get a drink... You want one?" I asked gently.

She nodded and sat on the edge of my bed. She grabbed a cigarette from my packet and lit up. I looked at her for a moment. She appeared to be pissed off but a little bit on the stressed side…

(What the fuck is going on?)

5 minutes later I was back inside my room. I passed her a drink and I went over to my desk and grabbed a spliff and sparked up. I felt all fucking awkward. I needed something to distract myself. Emily was sitting on my bed with her legs crossed flipping through one of my books about serial killers. I know that sounds a bit psychotic. Like why would I have a book like that?... Before you say anything, it was an FBI agent who wrote it. He was a forensic psychologist who studied the minds of the most infamous serial killers in America and it's a really interesting read. Charles Manson and that Son of Sam guy are in it. And yes I know I don't like school but I do read some things. BIG surprise… I held the spliff out towards Emily.

"You want some?" I offered.

She shook her head. I sat down on the bed and watched her for a few moments. I don't think she was even reading the book. She was mindlessly flipping the pages.

"What's… um, what's wrong?" I asked hesitantly.

She looked up towards me and the expression on her face was unfamiliar. When I say unfamiliar I mean that I have seen it before but she had never looked at me in that way because I have never hurt her… She let out a shaky breath before she spoke.

"Naomi… if I ask you something, will you answer me truthfully?"

"Yeah..."

"You won't shut off and ignore me?"

"No, of course not..."

She observed me for a moment, kind of like she was searching my eyes to see if I was being honest with my answers. She seemed satisfied.

"Why did you tell me that you loved me?"

(OH FUCK. She heard.)

I was stunned. Completely fucking shocked. My brain… all thoughts frozen. My mouth was opening and closing, trying to speak, although I'm not sure what I was trying to say.

"Forget it." She said as she got up off the bed. "I think it's best if I go home."

I still couldn't speak… all I could do was move. I didn't want her to go. I stood up as she opened the door of my bedroom. I placed my hand above her head and pushed it closed. She turned around, her back against the door with tears sliding slowly down her cheeks. I stared into her gorgeous brown eyes, trying to say something but nothing was happening… I leaned down slowly and placed a tender kiss on her lips. She pushed me back slightly…

"Please don't do that." She whispered.

I leaned down again, her hand still pushing on my chest, stopping me from getting any closer. I lifted my hand and placed it tenderly on her cheek and wiped away a tear that had escaped her eye… She let out a ragged breath as her eyes closed and I felt her hand, the one that was placed upon my chest, slip away. I closed the gap and kissed her again. This time she didn't try and stop me. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip and as she knew what I was asking, she allowed me to continue. I deepened it and she responded back, softly groaning into it. It was slow, it was gentle and it was meaningful… She pushed me back again.

"Naoms, please... I, I can't. I have to go."

She turned around and opened the door. I took a step back so she could open it and get through the doorway. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting to get anything from her; I was disappointed because she obviously didn't feel the same way. I hope this doesn't fuck up our friendship because I'd be fucking shattered and devastated. FUCK SAKE… I knew I would fuck everything up.

(You're a fucking twat Naomi.)

* * *

><p>Emily hasn't been at school for the last week. The reason I know this is because I have gone EVERY fucking day in the hopes of seeing her. She hasn't picked up any of my calls and quite frankly I'm heart broken because I think I've just lost my best friend, one that I hold close to my heart. Today's Friday and I've just gotten home from school. I feel kind of like a zombie, but that could be due to the amount of weed I've been smoking to get myself through this… I can't stand this 'feeling' shit. I've never loved something and then lost it. This is all new to me… its fuck-ing unbearable and it hurts. I hate it. I decided that I'd send Emily a text before I decide to leave it. I don't want to annoy her and cause her any grief because I can't keep my feelings for her to myself, but she needs to know…<p>

_**Ems, I miss you yeah. You know how much your friendship means too me. I don't want to lose you because of my own stupidity… I'm sorry. Please don't hate me for it…**_

Fucking hell that was hard to write, I'm not use to this… BUT I meant every word and Emily means too much to just let her go without some sort of fight on my behalf… I headed down stairs and sat at the kitchen table. Mum was getting dinner prepared.

"You okay love? You've had a long face all week?"

I didn't say anything. I was lost in my thoughts.

"Naomi?" She said gently as she took a seat next to me.

I turned to face her and I think she saw the devastation spread right across my face.

"What's going on? You can talk to me." She said.

"I… I kissed her."

My mum frowned slightly in confusion.

"Who love?"

"Emily… I kissed Emily."

She stayed silent for a moment and went to speak but I cut her off. I think she was going to yell at me, judging by her facial expression.

"I love her mum, but I think I… I scared her."

My mum almost passed out when I admitted that I loved Emily. She has never heard me say that about someone before. She knew I meant it.

"Ohh hun, I don't think you scared her…"

"She won't talk too me…"

"Naomi, listen love… I think she might be hesitant that's all. I can see the way she looks at you. She might just need some time to wrap her head around it…"

"Wrap her head around what?" I asked confused.

My mum gave me weird look.

"You're my daughter and I love you, but you're not exactly girlfriend material are you dear? She loves you, I can see that… but she needs to trust you and you haven't proved to her that you can be trusted. She just doesn't want to get hurt…"

I was about to tell my mum to piss off… but I stopped myself, because she was right. I'm far from 'girlfriend material' and lately I've proved that beyond a reasonable doubt.

"So how do I prove it then?"

"Honestly love."

I nodded.

"You need to keep it in your pants. If you truly love her, it shouldn't be hard to do."

God she can be straight out sometimes, but it's the only way to be I spose. She tells me the truth and she tells me what's what.

"Just leave her be, when she's ready she'll come to you."

"How did you get to be so, I dunno… insightful?"

She chuckled lightly.

"I've always been that love… you just never listened." She said as she went back to preparing dinner. I stood up and walked over to her and placed a peck on her cheek.

"Thanks mum."

She smiled. I went into the backyard and smoked a fag before dinner. I had me some serious thinking to do but I admit that I was feeling a little bit more hopeful then I did earlier in the day.

* * *

><p>Emily hadn't replied to my message. I'm starting to doubt what my mum had said to me but there's nothing I can really do about it. I've just got to accept the fact that I've possibly fucked up the best relationship I've ever had with another person… I've never been big on friends. All the people I have known have either been a shag or an associate. Friends were kind of dangerous ya know, especially to me and the things I get involved with sometimes. I'm a huge believer of the 'less people that know the better'. I mean I'm no master mind criminal or anything but I can't afford to get into trouble. The last time I had actual friends that I shared things with was when I was around 11. They got up to the same shit I did. We were like a little gang. That was until we had gone into a supermarket one fine day and stole a heap of fucking alcohol. One of the girls in our little group of 6 got caught as we ran out of the store. She rolled on all of us when the police questioned her. Fuck did I get into a heap of trouble… with the police, we all just got a slap on the wrist because of our age but when it came to mum, fucking hell… what she did to me was a crime in itself. Let's just say she wasn't at all impressed. No need for details here. Anyway, the lesson learned, DON'T trust anyone. Since then I never have. I don't like getting to close to people. I don't like them knowing too much about me. That's why that day after Ems got hit at school she was in shock when my mum mentioned the whole jail thing. She had absolutely no idea… but I did eventually tell her. I told her everything because I trusted her… I still do, nothings changed but I suppose this is the reason I'm going mental. I've let her in… I dunno, I'm ranting. Sorry, I get like this when I'm hungry and this bell is taking forever to ring… Still got a good 20 fucking minutes. Fuck sake…<p>

I decided to tune out and listen to my iPod. It's more exciting then what the teacher's talking about, which I have no idea. As soon as Miss Garner mentioned that we had to do an essay, my brain wandered off. I can't be fucked to be honest. I'm not in the mood for this shit. I'm pissed off by the fact that Emily has returned to school and is sitting right next to me. She hasn't spoken one word. Not even a 'hello'. She just keeps looking at me and it's frustrating me… I heard my teacher clear her throat, but I didn't pay attention. She actually reached over and physically removed my headphones from my ears which I found to be a bit on the rude side.

"Yes, can I help you?" I asked with a huge shot of sarcasm.

"Hand it over." She replied with her eyebrow raised.

I hated this teacher and there was no way I was handing anything over to this bitch. She had some sort of obsession with me and it was creepy as all fuck and not to mention annoying. Lately, she's been holding me back after class to lecture me about my behaviour or because I'm not wearing my uniform correctly. She's even been pulling the people I kind of associate with aside and asking them all kinds of fucking weird and personal questions about me. What's Naomi's home life like? What does Naomi get up too outside of school? One day she noticed I was kind of off my tits in class by the fact that I couldn't keep my eyes open so the first thing she does is ask one of my 'friends' if I take drugs. That's crossing the line just a little bit, don't you think? I could have just been tired, you know what I mean? Just thinking about that makes me even more fucking agro.

"Hand what over, Miss?"

"That." She points out. "You're walkman."

I had to laugh. Do walkman's even exists anymore?

"Sorry Miss, I can't help you. I don't own a walkman." I chuckled.

She squinted at me angrily. Her face was turning bright fucking red. It was starting to match her red jacket that she seemed to be so fond of. She wore it every fucking day.

"Naomi, whatever it is… hand it over right this very minute." She said sternly.

"You want one, get your own."

(Relax Naoms… you're starting to fire up.)

She wouldn't let it go. She just kept glaring at me. The whole class was turned in their seats and watching on in shock and amusement. No one really messed with this teacher because she could be a right bitch sometimes, but me being me, well quite frankly I just don't give two fat fucks. She extended her hand with her palm facing up expecting me to cave in and hand it over but instead, I slapped her hand, giving her a five. The class giggled.

"Now Naomi."

I turned my head and cast my gaze to the front of the class with my arms folded, paying absolutely no attention to her whatsoever. I felt someone elbow me in the ribs and so I turned to face them.

"Naoms, just give it to her." Emily whispered.

'Oh hello… do I know you?" I smirked sarcastically.

After two whole weeks of me stressing out about her, that's the first thing she says to me. Her face fell and she looked at me with hurt clearly visible in her eyes. I should feel bad and I kind of want to feel bad but right now, my temper is getting the better of me. The teacher snapped my attention back to her.

"Naomi, you're heading straight for detention." Miss Garner said firmly.

(Ooooh I'm fucking terrified…)

I stood up instantly and slammed my fists on my desk causing Emily and the whole class to jump at my unexpected outburst.

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK?"

"Get out, right now." The teacher said as she grabbed my arm and tried to drag me out of the class room.

I flicked her arm away forcefully and stepped towards her in fucking fury.

(Fuck babe… chill.)

"Don't fucking touch me you cunt." I snarled.

I heard the unmistakable gasp of Emily. She stood up and grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the classroom.

"That goes for you too yeah." I said once we were outside.

I flicked Ems arm away also, but I was gentle. I was angry with her, but I didn't want to hurt her ya know. The teacher on the other hand, fuck I'd love to kick that bitch in the fucking head right about now… I glared at Emily and walked off towards my little hiding spot behind the classrooms. That's were I would have my spliff breaks and right now, I really needed one… Emily just HAD to follow me.

"I'm fucking sorry okay. I can't stand this…" Emily yelled.

"What's that Ems?" I replied with sarcasm still present.

"Us, not talking…" She replied.

"Well you know… that's not exactly my fault now is it."

I turned away and went behind some bushes and sat down. I pulled out a spliff and sparked up and dragged the fuck out of it, praying that it would give me a calming effect. Emily hesitantly ducked under a branch and sat beside me.

"I know and I'm sorry okay… I'm confused Naoms… I just needed…" She trailed off and sighed heavily. "I just needed some time to think. Put things back into perspective."

I stayed silent. I didn't want to argue with her. I was in a foul mood and the best thing would be if I just kept tight lipped until I was calmer.

"Naoms? Talk to me please." She pleaded.

Her voice cracked very slightly. I allowed sometime to pass so I didn't snap at her.

"You could have told me. I would have understood, but you chose to ignore me." I replied depressingly.

There was silence. I took another drag and exhaled a thick cloud of smoke. Emily leaned over and took the spliff from my hand and took a drag.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

(Naoms its Emily here, how can you not forgive her?)

I don't know why but I stood up and left her there. I was hurt and I've never really felt like this before. I didn't know how to handle it. I went to my locker, grabbed my belongings and left school early. On the way home I started to feel guilty. I know Emily, I know how she is and how she can get and I understand all that BUT what I couldn't understand was why I was feeling so fucking angry towards her. Why couldn't I just suck it up and talk to her properly. I had a chance to fix it with her and I decided to just up and leave.

(Fantastic move Naomi, well done yeah.)

I got home and mum was waiting in the lounge room for me. No doubt the school called.

"Naomi, what's going on with you hun?"

(That's different. Shouldn't she be yelling at me or something?)

"Just leave it mum. I'm not in the mood okay."

She looked at me in concern. She nodded towards me as if to say 'okay'. I turned away and walked up the stairs and entered my bedroom. I was going to have another spliff but I needed to feel the high straight away, like right now so I had a few cones instead. It made me cough a bit because it's been awhile since I've smoked weed through a bong…

_**Knock Knock**_

"What?" I yelled.

My bedroom door opened and mum stuck her head in.

"Love, there's someone here to see you." She replied gently.

"Tell them to fuck off." I said.

She looked at me for a moment.

"You tell them." She simply replied.

She opened the door fully and Emily was standing in the doorway beside my mother. Well, before I saw who it was, I was all ready to tell them where to go, but when I saw it was Emily my words got caught in the back of my throat. I turned away and had another cone.

"Naomi don't do that, it's not very lady like." My mum said.

"Piss off." I replied.

I heard her sigh.

"Well… I'll leave you two to it." She said before she walked back down stairs.

There was an awkward silence.

"Naoms, can I come in?"

"Please yourself." I replied.

I heard Emily take a step and close my bedroom door behind her. She sat on my bed and just stared at me worriedly. I couldn't be angry with her… I took a deep breathe.

"I'm sorry." I said.

I reached into my desk draw and pulled out a spliff and extended it towards her.

"Peace offering?"

She stared at me for a moment longer, analysing. She threw me a warm smile and nodded. She took the spliff and put it between her lips as I leaned over and lit it for her. I had another three cones as Emily and I sat in silence. I turned in my chair and faced her.

"You um, you want to stay for dinner?" I asked.

"Only if you want me too." She replied.

I grinned.

"No, it's if you want to."

She chuckled as she remembered what I had said the first day we had met.

"Yes."

After we had finished our little smoking session, we headed down stairs and sat at the kitchen table. Mum turned to face us as she was dishing up our dinner. She already had a place set for Emily, like she had already known that Emily was staying before it had even been discussed. Freaky as… Ems and me didn't really speak much during the meal but her and mum were deep in conversation, catching up. They got along really well… We finished up and Ems helped mum with the dishes. She always did when she came over to eat. It was like a respect thing… I was out the back having a fag when Ems came out to join me. I turned towards her and gave her a nervous smile. I kind of felt like an idiot for the way I had been acting around her. I mean just because I can't deal with certain things doesn't mean I should treat Emily coldly. I mean for Ems to even be here, it took a lot of courage because of how she's been treated by others in the past. I know it happened ages ago, but ya know mentally the scars are still there and it's going to take a while for those to heal, if they ever do. Getting bullied and put down, I mean that can affect a person for a life time.

"You wanna watch a movie before you go?" I asked.

'What did you have in mind?" She replied smiling shyly.

"Um, I dunno… I thought maybe you would want to choose."

She paused for a moment.

"I chose the last one, so it's you're turn."

I chuckled lightly.

"Ahhh okay, how about… Pretty Woman?" I said trying to keep a straight face.

"Fuck off."

We laughed and it felt fucking fantastic. I missed this and I fucking missed her.

"Old school or new school?" I asked.

She frowned at me.

"Yeah okay, chill… Old school it is." I paused for a moment. "Child's Play, IT or Pet Sematary?

She looked at me and grinned.

"Pet Sematary." She replied.

(Haha... got her to choose without her even realising.)

"Come on then." I said.

We both went into the house and entered the lounge room. Mum announced that she was turning in early and headed to her room. I set up the DVD player and we began to watch. I couldn't really concentrate on the movie because I was worried. I was worried about whether or not me and Ems were okay. Like I know she's here with me but we haven't spoken about the issue that kept us apart for the last two weeks so you know, I was concerned. I shifted over to get closer to Ems and reached over and took her hand. She looked towards me curiously with her eyes big and wide. I just took in the image before me… after a long while I finally found my voice.

"Friends?"

It took a moment for Emily to respond. Her eyes were sparkling and her lips curled up into a warm smile.

"Always."

I returned the smile as my heart almost stopped dead in my chest, in a good way of course. I had to like dig my nails into my free hand to cause a distraction so I wouldn't jump for joy and make myself look like a complete fucking mental patient. Friend's was better then nothing. I cared about her to much to not have her in my life at all. If it was friends she wanted to be then that's what I would give her. My friendship… It was getting late, the movie had finished and it was time for Ems to go. I was going to offer for her to stay but decided against it. I didn't want her to think that I was trying to put pressure on her. She knew how I felt about her and I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable because she thought I wanted more so instead I offered to walk her home and she said that that would be lovely.

We didn't speak during the walk and before I knew it we were standing right out the front of her house.

"Do you want to come over again tomorrow?" I asked hesitantly.

She smirked cheekily at me.

"To watch another movie?" She said with her eyebrow cocked.

It made me feel a little uncomfortable to be honest.

"Um, you don't have to…" I replied.

Her facial expression changed and she started to look at me intensely. I didn't really know what she was thinking or going to say and it was making me feel kind of edgy so I turned my gaze away. She sighed.

"Naoms, I think we need to talk."

I didn't respond.

"Naomi?"

"Ah, yeah okay."

"What time tomorrow?" She asked softly.

"I… um I dunno, say around 2pm?"

"Okay." She replied.

She turned around and went to walk towards her front door. She stopped and looked towards the night sky and took in a huge breath of fresh air. She turned back around and walked back towards me and wrapped me in her warm embrace.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She whispered into my ear.

I nodded as she pulled back. She placed a tender kiss on my cheek and walked towards her house. The whole walk home and into the early hours of the morning I was trying to sort out everything I was feeling so I could put them in some sort of order to prepare for tomorrow's 'talk'…

(Fuck you're an idiot.)

Why did Emily drag me away from that girl at the party? She was acting kind of jealous. Why didn't I see that before? That's why she wanted to know why I said I loved her… that's why she has been weird and hasn't fucking called me. That's why she said 'what the fuck is wrong with you?' because she was waiting for me to say or do something… not go off and fuck other girls. She's put herself out there the only way she knows how. She wants me to be the one to admit everything first… When she asked me why I didn't kiss her that was her way but I didn't have the balls to answer her. FUCK. No wonder she needed to put things back into perspective. She's confused… I'm fucking confused. One minute I'm thinking this and the next I'm thinking that… I'm all over the place. Completely fucking scattered.

(Just make a decision and stick to it for fucks sake. It's simple, you want her or you don't… If you do want her, you know what YOU need to do…)

* * *

><p>I couldn't sleep all night due to the puzzling thoughts that were going through my mind. Did Ems feel the same way or have I read everything wrong? As much as I tried I still couldn't make sense of it all so I decided to get up early and get myself organised for the day. To say I was anxious about Emily coming over wouldn't be quite accurate. I was fucking petrified. I mean what did she want to talk about exactly? I'm not good with heart to hearts and that's the type of conversation I suspected it was going to be… I was so nervous I started cleaning my room and then I moved onto the rest of the house. Before I knew it, Emily was knocking on the door and we both headed up to my bedroom.<p>

"Do you want anything? Food, drink?" I asked

"No that's okay Naoms."

She was sitting on my bed and patted the spot next to her for me to take a seat. I exhaled and slowly made my way and sat beside her… I closed my eyes because I knew that the questions would start up and knowing Emily she would jump straight into it.

"Naoms, why did you kiss me?" She almost whispered.

Well I was right about that. She asks because she wants me to answer. She won't tell me straight out. She wants to hear what I've got to say first.

"I, I um…" I trailed off to start again. "Because I, ah… I like you."

(You like her?… Fuck sake Naomi. Stop acting like a little fuck-ing school girl. Jesus.)

I couldn't admit that and look at her at the same time. I was fucking terrified. It was safer to look at my hands. Emily sighed.

"I'm scared Naomi… whatever's happening between us…"

She stopped for a moment.

"I like you… no, I think it's more than that… I just, I don't know if I can allow myself to feel this way about you."

I didn't say anything.

"I really do care for you, but I've never been with anyone…" She sighed again. "Please don't take this the wrong way okay, but I don't know if I can trust you."

I turned to face her.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I know without a doubt that I can trust you as a friend, but as a lover… I don't know. You seem to…"

She stopped herself as if she didn't know how to put it so I wouldn't get offended.

"It's okay Ems, whatever's going through your mind, just say it… its fine." I said to try and reassure her that I wouldn't get defensive about it.

"You sleep with a lot a girls and I just, I don't want to be one of those girls that you toss to the side when you're done." She replied quickly.

She cringed when she said it, but she seemed relieved that she was able to get it out. Whatever fear I was feeling before was replaced with something else. I turned to face her seriously as I grabbed her hand.

(Okay Naoms… you know you can do this. It's time to 'man up'…)

"Emily."

She turned to face me and for someone who lacked in confidence she was doing a good job at holding my gaze.

"If we ever did take things further, I would never just toss you aside when I was done. Truth be told, I don't think I'd ever be done with you."

"That's just it Naoms, you 'think'… I need you to know for sure." She paused. "I don't want to give myself to you only to be made a fool of."

"I would never do that Ems."

"But you have done to others." She replied.

Well, I couldn't deny it. I have done that to others and she's witnessed it.

"What makes me so special?" She asked.

"I care about you, that's why." I replied whole heartedly.

She didn't respond straight away. The way she answered was as if she didn't hear what I had said.

"I don't know if I can trust you. I'm so terrified about this. I worry that you'll get sick of me, Naoms, I'm not trying to be funny, but can you even manage to stay with the one girl?

I cut her off.

"Emily, I get why you think that… but I wouldn't do that to you and the answer is yes."

She wasn't convinced. I could see it.

"Naomi… this is different for me. I've never slept with anyone before, I… I…"

"Ems, I don't care about that. I'm not trying to get into your pants… I can't explain it yeah, but I just want you… It's that simple."

(Phew… fuck me; you have no idea how good it feels to actually get this shit off my fuck-ing chest.)

"How… how do I know you're telling me the truth Naomi?"

It was a good question. A valid question.

"How about we just take it slow? Let me prove to you that I can be loyal and that you can trust me… at least give me that chance. If you can't do that, it's okay ya know, I understand but I still want us to be friends okay."

Emily stared at me like she was trying to figure me out. I could tell she didn't expect me to say any of that. In fact I don't think she expected me to talk at all, but it was a now or never type situation. Although I am very much confused about what I am feeling because obviously I have never felt this way before, I can identify a good thing when it presents itself and there was no way I was going to just let this slide without speaking up about it ya know. I'd live to regret it, I'm fucking sure of it. If there was one thing I'm sure of though, it's that I do love her… I've come to realise and accept that.

"Okay, we can do that… take it slow." She replied.

We both stared at each other for a moment.

"Babe, I just want you to know this… There is absolutely no pressure about the whole sex thing. This, between us... It's not about all that, okay?"

She nodded as tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. This confused me. Did I say something wrong? I mean it's possible; I've never been in this situation before. Like, I have been with virgins before and look I know this is horrible, but I never cared about them BUT I never pressured them into anything. They wanted to do it so I never had to give a speech. Does that make sense? Everything I just said to Emily was the gospel truth. I loved her, I wanted her, I would never pressure her and I know I get around but I know that what I feel for Ems is true. I know that I would never look at another girl if she gave me the chance to be hers… She saw the look of confusion on my face. She didn't say anything… She came closer and at first she hesitated but she slowly leaned in and placed a gentle kiss upon my lips. I didn't move, petrified that I'd scare her. I decided that I'd give her full control of our relationship until she was ready for me to take the reigns and show her… She nipped gently on my bottom lip and I responded. Fuck me; I didn't know a kiss could cause so many different emotions and feelings to course through my entire body. Christ… she maybe worried and scared about certain issues but so was I. Fucking hell, her lips on mine was causing my whole body to tingle. It was sending volts of electricity from my brain and right down my spine. Even my fucking toes were feeling it. That's how intense. I can't explain it. I'm lost for words… just WOW.

Emily ended up sleeping over. We had a few more tender kissing sessions and decided to get some sleep. It was cute. I was lying on my back and Ems slowly came over to me… like she was easing her way towards me like a scared little puppy. She was going to ask me if she could snuggle up but I stopped her. She doesn't need to ask. I lifted my arm so she could get closer and I wrapped my arm around her as she rested her head onto my chest. It was weird because we both woke up in that same position… It was weird because I'm a restless sleeper. I toss and turn all night, but when I think about it, whenever Emily sleeps over… that's when I have the best sleep…

* * *

><p>It's been 2 and a half months and I'm passing the test with flying colours. I know huh, unbelievable. I haven't had a shag for ages and yeah, I'm more then a little frustrated but oh well there are more important things. It's funny, when me and Ems hide out in my room and snog, sometimes she gets carried away without realising it and I have to almost throw her off me before my hands wander to places they shouldn't. I never thought I'd ever be able to do that. Control myself. I thought it was going to be the hardest thing for me to do because in the past I've never been able, but here I am controlling it. It's a spin out… You wanna see her. She's like 'Oh my God I'm so sorry' Hahaha. That's a first. Someone apologising for turning me on…<p>

"Hey Naoms."

I turned to see who was annoying me.

"Ahh yeah… hi." I replied coldly.

I felt Emily tense up beside me. Nobody knew that we were together. She asked me not to say anything just yet because it was sort of like a trial run to gain Emily's trust. It had been broken by so many people in the past she finds it hard to let herself go, which I understand. My trust has been broken but obviously for different reasons. She does trust me to a certain extent but I think there's doubt in the back of her mind. It's like a defense mechanism for her. If she doubts and doesn't allow herself to trust you fully, well, if you do break it she won't be as hurt because in her mind she knew it all along.

"How have you been?" Amanda asked.

"Um, yeah, I'm pretty good. You?" I frowned.

"I've missed you."

(Ohhhh-kaaaay… is this chick alright upstairs or what? Doesn't she remember what happened the last time she saw me?)

I didn't reply and Emily kept silent. She didn't say one word but when I looked down at her she didn't appear to be too happy.

"What are you doing after school? You want to hang out?" She asked seductively.

I was in shock. I couldn't believe that she was actually asking me after the way I had treated her. I couldn't find the words… Emily looked towards me angrily because of my delayed response. Whatever expression I had on my face, she had read it wrong because she stormed off. I turned to Amanda.

"I'm busy."

"How about tomorrow then?" She asked.

"Nah… sorry. I'm with someone."

I turned away from her and sprinted off towards the direction Emily went. I finally caught up with her and had to forcefully grab her because she wouldn't listen to my plea for her to stop.

"Considering it were you?" Emily spat.

"What?"

"Shagging her…"

"No fucking way Emily. If I wanted too, I wouldn't have bothered to even chase you."

"Don't lie."

"Emily I'm not lying. Why would I want to fuck that bitch anyway? Especially after the way she treated you?"

She sighed heavily to calm herself. She continued to walk but a lot calmer this time round. I assumed she didn't mind me following her because she would have told me to fuck off.

"I'm sorry… I dunno, I just think that the first girl that throws herself at you, you're going to take her up on it."

"Ems, this is the last time I'm going to tell you, I don't want anyone else okay. Please believe me… I hate fighting with you about this. I know you're worried and all that but ya know, I haven't even flirted with another girl let alone shag one."

"How do I know that?"

Fuck sake I was ready to explode at her but she started laughing.

"I'm joking babe. Sorry it was in bad taste. I know, I'm sorry. Please don't be angry with me." She said as I frowned at her.

"Come on let's go home yeah." I said firmly.

Emily smiled and nodded. We walked for about five minutes before she said anything. It's because she knows what my tempers like so she allows me some time to relax.

"Naoms?"

"Hmm." I mumbled.

"Would you wear a sticker?"

"Huh?"

"A sticker… would you wear one?"

"Ahhh, what kind of sticker?"

(What the hell is she talking about?)

"One that says 'Property of Emily Fitch'."

I turned to her and cracked up laughing.

"Babe, I'd get that tattooed on my forehead if it made you feel better."

She smirked.

"Good." She nodded.

* * *

><p>"Naoms, would you come over to my place for dinner?"<p>

I almost choked on my drink.

"Ahh Ems, you're mum yeah, she doesn't like me." I replied.

"She just doesn't know you, that's all."

"Somehow I don't think that's the reason."

Emily sighed heavily.

"Okay fine, I'm not going to force you." She said as she walked out of the kitchen.

I stood up and followed her. She sat on the couch and so I sat beside her.

"When?" I asked.

She squinted at me for a moment.

"Really?"

"Yeah… when is it?"

"Tonight." She replied.

"Fuck sake Ems…" I sighed. "Yeah okay."

(Bloody hell… She could have given me a bit more notice.)

She got all excited on me. She wrapped my in the tightest hug known to mankind and when she released me she roughly crashed her lips onto mine. I pushed her back slightly.

"Ems, how do I like ya know, introduce myself."

She beamed from ear to ear.

"Girlfriend." She replied leaning in and kissing me again.

She kissed me so sensually I couldn't help but run my hands over a very private part of her body. I didn't really mean it; I just got caught up in the way she was kissing me. She gasped and it was followed by a groan. I pulled back straight away.

"Fuck, I'm sorry yeah."

She smirked sexily at me.

"It's okay; I'll let that one slide." She replied.

She leaned back in and kissed me again. She was making me all dizzy and she was being mean. She was teasing me. She's been doing that a lot lately. Making me get all fucking hot and bothered. She doesn't apologise anymore. She chuckled lightly to herself. I think she's enjoying the effect she has on me and my distress because of what her kisses can do, a little too much nowadays. I think she's getting more comfortable.

"Fuck, stop, stop… fucking hell." I said frantically as I stood up off the couch.

And as I had guessed, she laughed her arse off.

"That's just cruel Ems." I said.

Fuck me. You don't understand what she's doing to me. It's painful, VERY fucking painful.

"Babes don't go… I'm sorry." She said as I walked off.

I stopped and turned to face her.

"If I sit on that couch, you can't come near me okay." I warned.

She put a hand over her heart.

"Scout's honour." She replied smirking.

I frowned at her for a moment, not sure if she was tricking me. I was praying that she wasn't because if she were to even touch me right now, I'd be on top of her in two seconds flat… and we both know that she is not ready for that.

"About tonight yeah… like does you're mum even know you're gay?" I asked.

Ems doesn't really talk about her family much and I wasn't sure why but I never asked her. I wasn't sure if the relationship she had with them was a good one or not. I didn't want to upset her. I figured she'd talk to me about them in her own time.

"Yeah but they don't really agree with my lifestyle."

"Geez Ems, if you don't want to be with me just say so, you don't have to lure me into the demon's lair." I smirked.

She laughed.

"Katie knows and she's kind of okay about it I suppose."

"What? About us?"

"No. I mean she knows I'm gay. My dad's okay with it… Um James is a just a little perv… really it's just mum that has a problem with it."

"Yeah well, I don't like my chances with La Strega."

Ems gasped at the nickname I had given her mother. I had to grin. It was impossible not too. She had no idea what I had just said but obviously she knew it wasn't nice. La Strega just meant The Witch… sounds better in Italian though.

"What the hell did you just call my mother?"

I smirked.

"Emily just, please yeah, tell her not the face. I want to have an open casket ya know, so my mum can see me one last time."

"Oh my God she is not that bad."

"Make a bet. I'll be lucky to get out of there alive."

Emily came closer towards me with the cheekiest look in her eye.

"Hey… don't even think about it." I said.

"Behave then." She grinned.

"Okay, I take it ALL back. Your mum's lovely." I replied sarcastically, getting up quickly.

I ran out of the room and up the stairs in an effort to get away from her. Fuck she's quick. She backed me into a corner of my room. My legs had gone to jelly as she started kissing me again. I wiggled free.

"You're killing me… please no more." I pleaded. "I'm like begging you right now babe. Please yeah."

She pouted playfully but said okay. I breathed in and out heavily a few times to try and get my raging hormones under control. She is driving me crazy…

"What times this dinner?" I asked.

"6 o'clock." She replied.

"I better get organised then, ey."

She smiled. I got some fresh clothes and jumped in for an extremely cold fucking shower. Right at the end I turned the heat up a bit because I was so cold I was shivering uncontrollably… I got myself dressed and me and Ems left to go to her house. I was shitting myself if I was to be perfectly honest but I was doing this for Ems even though I knew it wasn't going to be the most pleasant night of my life.

* * *

><p>Bloody hell. Jenna Fitch is like a character out of a comic book. She is The Joker to every Batman, the Green Goblin to every Spiderman fuck sake she deserves her own comic. She is unbelievable. She wasn't very talkative during the dinner, well not with me anyway. The only thing I got off her was her daggered stares and the look of disgust… When she got me on my own, she basically told me to fuck off and get out of her daughters life and that's putting it nicely. Rob was pretty cool. He smiled and spoke to me and I do believe he was being genuine, not just polite. I could tell by his eyes. Emily takes after her father without a doubt. Katie was her usual self but when Ems was helping her mum with the dishes she slammed me up against the wall and told me if I hurt Ems, my life wouldn't be worth living. This I can understand, but fuck couldn't she just tell me like a civilised person. James, well he was kind of cute until he opened his mouth. Ems was right, he is a perv but I suppose at his age he can get away with it. If it continues to be like that, it might become a little creepy ya know, like as he gets older. Anyway, Ems was absolutely ecstatic that I had finally met her family properly. I think it shifted some doubt about me in her mind. Like if I wasn't serious about her I wouldn't have bothered going… I dunno sometimes she's hard to read at times but when we got back to my place she was in a good mood so the night was a success in her mind. It kind of was in mine too, except for The Wicked Witch Of The West. As we were leaving, I could have sworn Jenna was hanging out the window screaming 'FLY… FLY MY PRETTIES… FFFLLLYYY.' I was waiting for her band of monkeys to swoop down and get me…<p>

I was out the back having a fag when I heard my phone ring.

"Ems, can you get that babe?"

I heard her run into the lounge and pick up my phone and saw her making her way back towards me.

"Hello?"

"Um, hi… Sam." Emily frowned.

"What?" Emily spat.

Emily came over and threw the phone at me and stormed back into the house.

(What the fuck?)

The phone connected with the top of my thigh and dropped to the floor. I quickly bent down, picked it up and put it to my ear.

"What do you want?"

"I was wondering what you were up too?"

"I'm kind of busy yeah. Why?"

"Just, I dunno, if you weren't doing anything you could come over to mine?"

"Are you serious? If I remember correctly, the last time I saw you, you called me a prick and you fucking threw something at me, Jesus fucking Christ. Listen, delete my number. Find someone else to head fuck."

"I'm sorry but you pissed me off…" She replied.

I sighed.

"Sam, look… I'm not interested okay. I'm spoken for."

I hung up the phone and ran inside to find Ems but… she found me.

_**SLAP**_

I looked back at her completely fucking stunned.

"What the hell was that for?" I asked.

"I knew I couldn't trust you." She yelled.

"What are you talking about?"

"Fucking Sam… that's what I'm talking about."

(Fucking hell.)

"Ems, I can't help that she called..."

"She's got me fooled then, hasn't she?" She replied.

"Huh?"

"She wanted to know why I was answering her girlfriend's phone." Emily said with her eyebrow cocked and her hands on her hips.

"Fuck off… fuck, not you… I mean, I mean no." I replied panicked.

She glared at me angrily.

"Why the FUCK are you all panicky then? Huh?"

"I'm fucking panicked because you don't believe me."

Emily scoffed and turned around to go out the front door in a fit of rage. I lunged forward and grabbed her wrist and shut the front door and pinned her against it.

"Don't do that." I said sternly.

"Naomi, get OFF of me."

"Emily, listen to me… you are my girlfriend okay. YOU."

"Let me go." She said.

"No… not until you believe me." I replied calmly.

I know how this makes Emily look. Insanely jealous… You've got to understand that she is extremely insecure. She's not as bad as she use too be on the account that she isn't getting put down anymore but it's still there, it'll fade away in time but I have to keep reminding her that she's the one I want ya know. I can't really blame her for being like this, I mean, I have shagged Sam so of course if Sam's calling me, Emily is going to immediately assume that something is going on… Oh and don't forget the bitch just said she was my girlfriend... It's like Emily is still getting bullied but in a different way. They're doing it through me now. I can see it.

"Why would she say that Naomi? Huh? Why would she say that you were her girlfriend?"

"I don't know babe. She's fucking mental." I replied.

"You couldn't come up with something better then that?"

I just looked into her big brown furious eyes. If she couldn't hear what I was saying, maybe she could see I was being truthful.

"Tell me what to do Ems… what do I have to do to make you believe me?" I said keeping my voice gentle and calm.

She didn't reply. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I called Sam.

"What." Sam spat.

I put the phone on loud speaker.

"Why did you tell Emily I was your girlfriend?"

"I…I… I didn't."

"Don't fucking lie to me Sam."

There was no answer.

"Fucking speak yeah. WHY DID YOU SAY IT?"

"Fucking hell… I was only muckin' around. Fuck, can't she take a joke?"

I hung up immediately, dropped my phone and stomped on it that hard, it was in pieces.

"There okay. You heard what she said and she won't be calling me again because I don't have a fucking phone. Are you satisfied?"

I said it a little too harshly. Sam had really gotten on my tits and I kind of took it out on Emily. She pushed me out the way and ran up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door closed.

(Fuck)

I walked up and opened it. She was sitting at my desk staring out the window. I hurt her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that."

She sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. She turned to face me.

"I hope your not be lying to me…"

I cut her off.

"I swear Emily… I mean you heard what she said. She was just being a bitch." I replied.

Emily analysed me for a long moment.

"Ems, think about it yeah. When would I have the time to see anyone else? Me and you are ALWAYS together. Fuck, when was the last time you were even home?"

"About a month." She whispered.

"See… the only girl that's been in my bed is you."

"I'm not worried about who's been in YOUR bed. I'm worried about whose bed you've been in."

"Well I think you already know the answer to that?" I replied.

She looked at me for a while longer and then gave me a quick nod in agreement. I took a deep breath, fucking relieved. I walked over to her and kneeled in front of her. She had doubts about us. I could tell.

"Ems you know me better then anyone. When have I ever chased a girl for months just so I could get into her pants?"

See chuckled lightly through her silent tears.

"Never."

I grinned.

"So what does that say about you and me?"

She blushed.

"Yeah see… you know." I smiled as I wiped her tears away. "So stop thinking the worst of me. You have an advantage. We were friends before. You know how I act when I'm juggling a few chicks at the same time and I bet you a million dollars I haven't been acting that way."

She looked up at me and smiled.

"I don't have a million dollars."

"It's okay, because neither do I." I chuckled. "We okay?"

"Yes." She replied.

She leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss. She pulled back and changed her mind. She leaned in again and gave me a proper one. I wasn't complaining because I thoroughly enjoyed kissing Emily. Before, I never enjoyed it really, I just did it because it was kind of a 'have to do' type of thing but the first time my lips felt Emily's that changed. Fuck did that change. It's like a drug and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm addicted… I pulled back slightly and Emily looked at me slightly confused…

"Babe." I whispered.

"Hmm." She mumbled.

She seemed a little distracted and I knew why if her eyes were anything to go by. Her pupils were dilated as all fuck. She looked as if she just snorted a massive line of amphetamine. Bloody hell…

"I need to buy a new phone." I grinned.

* * *

><p>Things have been going really good with Ems. We've had a few little hiccups like when Sam called, but apart from that it's all been pretty fucking fantastic. I should mention that she's been getting a heap of fucking attention also and it makes my blood boil. I keep thinking that she might ditch me for someone who is more deserving of her trust even though I haven't done anything for her not to trust me… I dunno I'm just being stupid, but the fear of losing her is a good thing because it reminds me not to fuck up… Not that I need to be reminded because there is no way I would fuck her around but rather then let it get on top of me and stress me the fuck out, I look at it as a positive thing. At the end of the day, if I'm scared of losing her well all that means is that I care…<p>

"That was crap."

"Wasn't all bad." I chuckled as I put a little skip into my step.

Me and Ems just walked out of the cinema after watching The Devil Inside. Bloody hell, what the fuck is happening to the horror genre. Actually, it's not just horror it's ALL movies. They just don't make them the same as they use to. I don't know what it is exactly but it just seems like there missing something, ya know?

"Wasn't bad? Emily asked.

She gasped.

"Ohhh, you were perving on that Isabella chick weren't you?"

"What? Nooo… how could you think such a thing?" I replied sarcastically.

Emily paused for a moment looking thoughtful.

"I don't blame you. I was too." Emily laughed.

"Cheeky." I replied.

I pulled her in closer, wrapping my arm around her and placing a quick peck on her lips as we walked towards home.

"You hungry babe?"

"No I'm okay."

"You sure? I mean after eating a large popcorn, a block of chocolate and two ice creams, surely that's not nearly enough. I don't want you fading away on me." I said trying to keep a straight face.

She looked at me pretending to be offended.

"What are you getting at?"

"Oh nothing babe… just I don't want you to starve or anything."

"Actually on second thought… I could go for something sweet." She replied.

My jaw dropped because she looked as if she was being dead serious. How the fuck does she fit it all in? Fuck me… She started laughing hysterically at my facial expression. After she got her laughter under control she leaned in closer to me…

"By sweet I mean…"

I pulled away because I knew exactly what she was getting at. I didn't hear what the rest of her sentence was, but I didn't have to. I gulped as my head filled with all sorts of filthy images of me doing certain things to Emily. She noticed no doubt, by the look of me, because my cheeks felt red hot from the heat that had swept throughout my body. Fuck sake. I shook it off. I've really got to talk to her about this teasing shit. Fuck it's becoming unbearable ya know… I don't think she realises what she's doing to me… She nudged me in the ribs with her elbow as I stared blankly towards her, my thoughts thousand of light years away.

"Naoms?"

"Um yeah sorry." I replied as I shook my head to get out of my little day dream.

She just smiled and took my hand, entwining her fingers with mine as we continued home… We arrived there about 35 minutes later. I turned to face Emily.

"You want a spliff or something?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"No I'm fine." She replied shyly.

(Is she okay? She seems kind of weird.)

"What about vodka?"

She shook her head again.

"I'll have a coke though." She said.

I walked over to the fridge and grabbed two cans, passed her one and pulled her gently by the hand up the stairs and into my bedroom. She sat on the end of my bed and took a sip from her coke as I sat at my desk. I opened the drawer and pulled out my little bag of weed and some papers and started to roll two spliffs. I sparked one up and took a long, satisfying drag as I leaned back on the chair, releasing the thick smoke. I rolled my head to the side and looked towards Emily who was staring at me strangely. I extended my arm that was holding the joint, thinking she wanted a drag. Instead of grabbing the spliff, she grabbed my wrist gently instead and tugged me towards her. I sat next to her and went to have another toke but she took it off me, leaned over and butted it out in the ashtray on my desk. I just stared at her in bewilderment. I couldn't believe that she just done that… She turned back to face me and as I looked into her eyes, she seemed to be extremely nervous about something. She saw the confusing look I had written all over my face…

"I don't, um… I don't want you to be too fucked up…" She said softly.

Her voice was extremely low and husky.

(What? Is she… Ohhhh fuck. Um, is she like saying she's ready?)

She slowly leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine. I didn't respond straight away because I was in fucking shock… She went to pull back due to my lack of response but I delicately placed my hand around the back of her head and pulled her in closer, reconnecting our lips. I nipped her bottom lip gently and she parted her lips just enough for me to slip my tongue inside. She moaned softly into it. I felt Emily shift slightly and I could feel her slowly undo each button of my shirt. Her hands were shaking terribly. I kept my hands on her hips because I didn't want to freak her out but having said that it was almost fucking impossible for me too do. With the buttons on my shirt undone, she slowly slid my shirt off with me wiggling my arms out of the sleeves. She came closer to me and I could feel her body trembling…

"Emily, are… are you sure you want to do this?" I asked concerned.

She didn't speak. She gave me her answer when she removed her own top and slid herself further up the bed. I crawled over towards her trying my fucking hardest to keep my movements slow. I could see she wanted to do this, but she was terrified at the same time. I kneeled in front of her and just found myself staring into her eyes… She reached out an unsteady hand and hesitantly extended it towards me. As her fingers came into contact with the flesh of my stomach she retracted her hand as if she had been burnt. She looked back up towards me with a fearful kind of look in her eye.

"It's okay." I said to her reassuringly.

She extended her hand again and this time when she touched me, she softly stroked the skin that was beneath her fingers. She moved herself on to her knees, coming closer and brought her hands to caress the sides of my body. She ran her fingers over a sensitive spot which caused me to gasp. It gave her a boost of confidence hearing me react to her soft and careful touches… She ran her hands slowly around to my back and then all over my body with her eyes following the movement of her hands. She was staring intensely, taking in every inch of skin and every curve. She was exploring it and paying close attention. Getting familiar with how another woman's body felt against her fingertips, memorising every detail. I felt her hands slide upwards and rest near the band of my bra. She looked up towards me again as if she was asking for my permission to remove the undergarment. I leaned down and kissed her tenderly with her bringing her body closer. When I ran my hands around her hips and to her lower back, pushing her body even closer to mine, her breathing had become heavier as she felt herself pressed against me. I felt her fingers fumbling with the clasp and finally she was able to unhook it. She pulled back from the kiss and raised her hands up and carefully slid the straps of my bra off of my shoulders. When she saw my naked breasts for the first time, I could see by her facial expression that she liked them. I'm not saying that their the best looking tits in the world or anything, what I mean is, she was fascinated. She seemed reluctant to take the next step. I could see it as clear as day… I gently took her right hand and slowly raised it up and placed it on my left breast. Jesus as soon as I felt her hand there, my heart almost jumped out of my chest and when she delicately ran her thumb over my nipple, Christ, they instantly stood at attention. She looked up towards me again like she was amazed that her touch caused my body to react in such a way…

I instantly crashed my lips onto hers and kissed her open mouthed. It wasn't rushed; I was still taking it slow. It was up to her to set the pace, it was whatever she felt comfortable with. She seemed to be happy with the way things were going at the moment. I reached around and unclasped her bra and carefully removed it. She wrapped her arms around me, motioning me to lie down on top of her…

When I cast my eyes on her naked chest, my eyes closed on there own accord as I let out a small groan. I felt embarrassed for a moment by my reaction mainly due to the fact that I have never reacted like that before by just simply looking. I soon got over it as Emily wrapped an arm around my neck, pulling me down, wanting me to kiss her. As I ran my hands slowly over Emily's body and over her breasts, she let out an animalistic type growl. She pushed me up and started to undo her jeans… She was having a hard time as her hands shook nervously, so I happily assisted… With the remainder of our clothes off, I laid half on top of her and kissed her passionately while I ran my hand up and down her bare thigh leaving a trail of goose bumps. Her breathing was heavy and she was shivering… I pulled back and gazed down at the most beautiful girl I have EVER cast my eyes on. She had her eyes tightly shut…

"Emily… look at me."

I descended down and kissed my way from her neck and to her ear.

"Look at me." I whispered.

I lifted my head and found her gorgeous dark brown eyes staring back at me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." She whispered.

I shifted myself so that I was in between her thighs but careful not to come into contact with her just yet. I wanted to be sure that she was ready… I knew she was… but I HAD to make sure. She seemed extremely nervous and tense… She noticed that I was worried and as I went to speak she cut me off.

"It's okay Naoms, I want you too."

I smiled lovingly at her and gave her a heart felt kiss… I descended my hand down between her legs as I pulled back from the kiss so I could observe her. I touched the sensitive spot that I just know was throbbing intensely and her whole body jolted. She gasped loudly and as I started to slowly rub my hand against her, she let out a soft whimper… I picked up the pace slightly which caused a few moans to escape, with her pushing herself closer into my hand. I went to place a SOFT kiss on her lips but Emily had other ideas. She wrapped her arm around my neck and crashed our lips together urgently like she would surely die if she didn't. She pulled away completely breathless with her eyes closed. I could see she was in ecstasy…

"Ohhh… Naoms, I think I... I want… Ohh."

She couldn't finish her sentence but I knew what she was trying to say, even if she kind of didn't. She wanted more… I lifted myself up slightly and entered carefully and slowly because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her… I lowered myself and started to grind against her using my hips to guide my hand. The way she was responding had set my whole body on fire. My heart was racing uncontrollably and my breathing was just as ragged as hers… I grinded against her slowly and could feel myself getting worked up. It was unreal, whatever she was feeling, I was feeling. She wasn't even touching me. I picked up the pace slightly and applied some more pressure. She grabbed my shoulders and let out a small cry with me immediately stopping, thinking that I had hurt her…

"Please don't stop…" She panted quickly.

I placed my head in the crook of her neck, nipping and kissing as I continued the movement. She wrapped her arms around me as I started to grind a little faster. Her nails were digging into my back.

"Ohh fuck Ems…" I groaned.

(Christ… what is doing to me?)

The movement of her hips became more wild as she was getting closer to the edge. She was becoming louder and louder. She was struggling to breathe with her nails drawing blood as she clawed at my flesh. It was painful but it caused a massive wave of pleasure to sweep throughout my entire body at the same time. She wrapped her legs around my waist holding me tightly against her…

"Naomi… ohhh… ohhh fuck..."

It took only just a few more thrusts for the orgasm to explode and rip throughout her body… The noises that passed through her beautiful lips caused me to come right along with her. Her whole body shook as she clung to me tightly as if she was scared to let go, in fear that she was going to fall. I continued to grind against her slowly until she came back down… until we both came down…

It took her quite sometime to recover from her climax. Her chest was heaving up and down as she struggled to recapture her breath. She was still holding on to me tightly as I placed soft and gentle kisses all over her face. Her eyes where closed. Her face was completely flushed… When she did finally open her eyes, the way she was looking at me, caused me to stop breathing with my heart swelling within my chest. She was looking at me in such a loving way it had actually stunned me. No one has ever looked at me like that before. It was amazing. SHE was amazing… I leaned down and gave her the most passionate and heartfelt kiss I have ever given anyone… It was like I had been saving it for her.

"I love you." I whispered before I descended back down and reconnected our lips.

She was completely spent and struggling to stay conscious. She was exhausted. I shifted us both so we were lying on the bed properly and placed my quilt over her first before I slid underneath. She draped one of her legs over me with her head on my chest as she started to drift off. She wrapped her arm around my torso and squeezed me tight as I placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head…

As I observed her sleeping contently, I realised just how much I loved Emily. She was the first girl I had ever made LOVE too. She was the first girl who I wanted to stay with afterwards… She was the first girl I would do anything for. She was the first girl I would die for without a second thought… She was my first for pretty much everything… For the both of us, it was our first time for a lot of things…

* * *

><p>It's been 3 months since Emily's first time and its official. Emily is a sex maniac. I don't mean to be crude about it or anything and she's not just some tart you brag to you're mates about but bloody hell, when we finish shagging, well actually with Emily I like to say making love, I drift off to sleep and she's waking me up because she wants more. I'm sure she's elbowing me in the ribs while I sleep. She denies it, but I'm all tender. I think she's elbowing me to wake me up without making it obvious, ya know… I'm not complaining really, it's just I don't fancy copping a cracked rib… At first, I was expecting her to be a bit weird or should I say hesitant to do the things I do to her, to me… Boy was I wrong. I didn't even bring it up… she just got right into it… the activity I mean and like shhhh ya know, she has a natural talent for certain things… quick learner.<p>

Anyway, enough of that yeah… Mrs. Jenna Fitch invited me over to the family home to have dinner which we have already been through. It was just as awkward as the first time I was over, actually possibly more so… I mean Emily has this glow about her as of late and I think Jenna has kind of picked up on it and I get the feeling that she knows the cause of it. Somehow, I don't think she's over the moon about it to be perfectly honest if the lasers shooting out of her eyes are anything to go by. Fucking hell… I was sitting at the table trying my best to shrink and disappear… I think at one stage I had actually slid down my chair with only my head peeking over the table like a small child who can't quite reach… That's how Jenna makes you feel without saying a word. It's fucking strange… Ems and me had gone into her room for a bit while Jenna and Katie cleared the table and cleaned up. Rob couldn't join us for dinner because he had to work late and James was sleeping over a friend's so I was completely left to fend for myself…

Emily was going through her draws trying to find this CD she bought over the internet. It was called Ministry Of Sound and she had gotten it from Australia… apparently it had some good club stuff on it… Don't really know though because I've never heard of it.

"Fucking Katie…" Emily huffed.

I chuckled because of the way she said it.

"What's up?" I asked.

She held the CD up to my face to show me.

"She's fucked it… look how deep the fucking scratches are… FUCK SAKE… If she just put the CD back in its cover this shit wouldn't happen." She replied seriously as she threw the CD into the corner.

"Babe, relax… I'll buy you another one okay."

"It's not the point Naoms… She's got no respect for my stuff."

I reached over and dragged her towards me with her sitting on my knee.

"Don't let it get to you… I don't think she done it on purpose, she just doesn't think, ya know." I replied.

Emily sighed.

"I know… sorry. She just really annoys me sometimes."

I leaned in and gave her a tender kiss.

"You know what annoys me…"

Emily looked at me questioningly.

"… that I can't…"

She cut me off because she knew exactly what I was going to say.

"Who says you can't?" She asked as if she was daring me.

She leaned in and claimed my lips while she ran her hand down the front of my jeans.

"Fuck… Ems, your mum's downstairs." I said slightly panicked.

"We'll just have to be quiet then, won't we?" She replied as she touched me in a very sensitive area, causing me to gasp.

I went to speak but Emily 'took the words right out of my mouth', you know, kind of like that Meatloaf song. Christ…

Emily stood up without breaking the kiss and repositioned herself by straddling my legs. I knew that I shouldn't, but fuck me, its Emily… I can't say no, I'm just not that strong. She lifted her skirt up and my hands immediately became attached to her thighs…

"Anytime you're ready Naoms." Emily whispered huskily.

She is so asking for it… I'll take that smug looking smirk right off her face. I roughly placed my hand between her thighs… I gasped as I lifted the front of her skirt up to have a look.

"Um… Ems, where are you're knickers?"

She chuckled evilly at me and placed a rough kiss upon my lips. She reached for my hand and put it where she wanted it the most. I entered. She broke away and let out a soft moan as she started to move her hips. She wrapped her arms around me so she wouldn't fall backwards and increased the movement while she stared intensely into my eyes…

"Fuck…" She groaned a little too loudly.

"Shhh." I hissed.

She pushed herself closer to me and started grinding harder against me. She leaned back and arched her back slightly and I knew she was about to scream out something else.

"Ohhh Nao…"

I instantly crashed my lips onto hers to muffle out her moans…

"HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY HOME?" Jenna screamed.

(Ohhh fuck… I'm dead.)

"Fuck sake mum, can't you knock." Emily shrieked as she tried to pull her skirt down to cover her bare thighs.

Jenna stormed over towards Emily and dragged her off of my lap, slapping her face. She turned towards me and I scrunched up my face and closed one of my eyes, waiting for the blow.

"Mum, don't you dare." Emily yelled in my defense.

She glared at her daughter completely furious.

"You disgust me. How can you let this, this girl touch you in such a way?" Jenna said hatefully.

"She's my fucking girlfriend."

"Not anymore she's not. I'm putting an end to this nonsense once and for all." Jenna replied quickly.

Meanwhile, I'm still sitting on Emily's bed in complete and total fucking shock.

"What the hells going on." Katie asked as she ran into the room.

Katie looked at me and then to Emily. When she saw the 'just fucked' look on Emily's face she covered her mouth and gasped. I sensed that Katie knew what was about to happen.

"Katie." Jenna said as she turned and glared at me. "Get this sexual deviant out of our house."

"What?" Katie replied. "Mum, she's Emily's girlfriend…"

I stood up.

"Um… It's okay… I'll go." I said awkwardly.

I mean you'd feel awkward too when the mother of your girlfriend catches you shagging her daughter, bloody hell. Especially when it's Jenna Fucking Fitch… Emily grabbed my arm and dragged me out of her room with Jenna following, screaming all kinds of abuse, directed at me. We walked down the stairs and got to the front door. Jenna grabbed me and yanked me from Emily's grasp. She pushed me out the way and grabbed her daughter's arm and dragged her back into the house.

"You're not going anywhere young lady. Go up stairs and clean yourself up, for God's sake." She said through clenched teeth.

"FUCK OFF." Emily screamed as she got out of her mothers clutches and pulled me with her by the hand.

Fucking hell, it was like they were playing tug-of-war and I was the fuck-ing rope. Fuck sake.

"Emily, if you leave with HER, don't even think about coming back. I WILL NOT put up with this kind of behaviour. It's sick."

All of a sudden I became furious. I stepped back towards the house.

"You're the one that's fucking sick… That's you're fuck-ing daughter you're talking too…"

"Naomi don't…" Emily said as she came up beside me and grabbed my arm tightly.

"Nah, fuck that Ems… what kind of a mother kicks out there own daughter for being in love. That's fucked up." I yelled.

"It's okay babe… just leave it." She pleaded.

I turned to face Jenna, glaring at her hatefully.

"You know what Jenna, you can go fuck yourself. You're doing Emily a favour. You do realise that don't you?"

Jenna squinted at me and folded her arms.

"Stop this yeah…" Katie interrupted.

"Get inside Katie. I don't want you anywhere near them." Jenna replied coldly.

"Fuck sake mum, Emily's my fucking twin…"

"Not anymore she isn't. She is no longer part of this family. Not while she's with her." Jenna replied.

I was so angry… I started to laugh like a fucking lunatic.

"You're un-fucking-believable… you know that?" I said as I started walking towards Jenna, shaking my head in disbelief at what she had just said.

"Naomi NO." Emily shrieked as she pulled me back. "Let's just go."

I sighed heavily.

"You'll have to excuse me Jenna… I have some business to attend to." I said sarcastically.

Jenna scoffed at me.

"What business would that be NA-OMI." She replied.

"Fucking the arse off of you're daughter." I smirked.

(HA… picture that you homophobic bitch.)

Jenna's jaw dropped.

"OH MY GOD NAOMI..." Emily screamed as she dragged me down the street.

Emily pulled me along for about 5 minutes before she spoke.

"Fucking hell, I can't believe you just said that to my mother."

"Fuck her." I simply replied.

"I know she's a bitch okay, but she's still my mother." Emily replied distressed.

"Emily… did you hear what she said?"

"Yes I did. I WAS there…" She said looking at me, hurt.

I pulled her up and took a deep breath. I was still furious but I couldn't stand to see Emily hurting. Her lip quivered and she collapsed into my arms as she broke down completely distraught.

"Shhh, its okay yeah… everything will be alright." I said trying to sooth the ache in her heart that her own mother had put there.

"She hates me…" She cried.

"She doesn't hate you Ems… She hates me." I replied softly. "We'll figure something out okay. Until then, you can stay at mine. It'll be okay… I promise."

_**TBC…**_

**Do I still have an audience? Let me know… please review :)**

**Thanks guys. Take care…**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Lives We Lead**

**Part IV**

**Another HUGE thank you to all those who have taken the time to read and review. I honestly don't know what to say anymore without repeating myself and sounding like an absolute idiot lol BUT know that I do appreciate it. Ahhh what the hell… You're all AWESOME. Haha. Thanks heaps guys :)**

**.**

I was speaking to Katie at school after that fucked up night at the Fitch's residence. Rob as soft as he is, apparently blew up at Jenna for what had happened. He wasn't happy about it. He loved his kids and he didn't care how they lived as long as they were happy but Jenna had refused to budge on the subject. Emily was NOT allowed to set one foot on the property while she continued to see me. Emily was distraught for weeks after that night. I mean it is her family… I can never replace them so I made a decision. I broke it off with Ems… not really. NO FUCKING WAY… It was all pretend but Jenna believed it when Emily knocked on the front door of her home and Ems falsely cried into her mother's arms saying how sorry and stupid she was and that she was right… I was no good for her blah blah blah; I didn't love her, blah blah blah… even Katie was in on it. She took it upon herself to tell Jenna that I had been screwing around… I wasn't happy about that but hey, at the end of the day Jenna believed it, Emily was welcomed back into the family and she was happier. To me, that's all that mattered… It's only her mum that has the problem. I suppose if it were her WHOLE family she probably wouldn't bother with the charade but she missed her sister, she missed her dad and she missed her little brother James… so what do you do, ya know? I don't think Emily was ready to leave the nest just yet. I told her that she was more then welcome to stay with me and it wasn't like my mum would have been bothered by it, she loved Ems, but as Ems was still at school, if she didn't patch things up with her mum, who was going to pay for it? AND not to mention all those years of bullying at school and in a way, at home, well Ems wasn't the most independent person. She has improved a fucking heap, she is stronger and all that but with all that she's been through, she needs to take baby steps… Fuck, if I could buy Emily her own house, clothes, furniture etc… and pay for her schooling I fucking would without a second's hesitation but as we live in the real world I mean, we don't have many options. Emily doesn't have many options…

When my mum got wind of what had happened. She was absolutely furious. She couldn't understand why Jenna was being so fucking narrow minded. She had a lot to say about Mrs. Fitch but I won't um, repeat them here. It wasn't very nice as you could imagine.

Katie couldn't understand either. She was like 'Fuck… mum's caught me shagging a bloke a fucking heap of times… she catches Ems once and she kicks her out. What the fuck?' Yeah well, one; I don't have a dick and two; she's just never liked me from day one. Ems never had a chance… ANYWAY that was all last year's bullshit. We're in our last year of school now…

"Naoms, where are you going?"

"That fucking … fuck sake." I said as I walked past her hurriedly.

I was furious since I left Miss Garner's office. I had been mumbling and ranting to myself. Not much of it made any sense and I was getting weird stares off of everyone from school as I made my way towards the gates. I didn't even notice Ems as I brushed past her in my angered state. She reached over and got hold of my hand as I stormed my way towards the front of the school.

"Babe stop… what's wrong?" Emily asked concerned.

I stopped and took a deep breath to calm myself.

"I'm okay… I'm just sick of her that's all." I replied.

"Sick of who?"

"Miss Fucking Garner… she's always got something to say ya know. She's really getting on my fucking tits…"

"What did she say?"

I paused for a moment.

"It's not what she said exactly…" I said quietly. "Please Ems, I just need to get out of here yeah, it's not gonna do me any favours by staying… I'll see you tonight okay."

I turned away and walk out of school without waiting for an answer. The more distance, the better.

"NO WAIT… I'm coming with you." Emily said as she jogged up beside me.

I didn't reply but it felt good that she was beside me. I reckon we had been walking for about 10 minutes before Emily spoke to me again.

"Naoms, tell me what happened."

"She fucking… FUCK doesn't matter."

"Naomi." Emily said sternly.

I sighed.

"She called me into her office because my shirt wasn't tucked in."

Emily squinted at me knowing there was definitely more to the story.

"And?" She replied.

"… She tried it on with me." I said as I cringed.

"FUCK-ING WHAT?"

There was a slight pause as Emily forcefully took hold of my arm and spun me around so I would face her. She shook her head in an attempt to get herself refocused.

"What?" She repeated.

"She… fucking hell… You know how the teachers tuck your shirt in for you when you don't listen, well fuck me, she put her hands UNDER my shirt and pushed me up against the fuck-ing desk." I replied quickly as I was still quite fucking shocked at what had just happened.

Emily didn't say anything. She was looking right at me, actually right through me but her mind had wandered off. She bit her bottom lip in anger and stormed off back towards the school.

"Emily, where the fuck are you going?"

"I'll fuck-ing kill her." She spat.

I ran in front of her in a panic to pull her up.

"No, it doesn't matter yeah… just leave it."

"Just leave it? JUST FUCKING LEAVE IT? What the fuck is the matter with you?"

"Chill babe… look, we can't go up against a Catholic school teacher… with my record, I'll be fucking arrested for making a false accusation. Please babe… you have to promise me you won't say anything. It'll only turn out bad, for me…" I replied frantically.

Emily seemed to be taking in the information and weighing up her options.

"Okay, I promise I won't say anything."

She paused and pursed her lips before she spoke.

"What else did she do?"

"Nothing, that's it." I replied unconvincingly.

The way Emily was glaring at me caused to me to gulp and I started to speak without even thinking.

"She um, she put her hands down the front of my pants." I said turning away.

"HOW THE FUCK DID SHE MANAGE THAT NAOMI…"

She paused and spoke more calmly.

"Did you let her do that?" Emily asked with her eyebrow cocked.

"What? NO… when she… she pushed me, I put my arms behind my back to soften the impact and they got pinned under me. I couldn't get them free… she fucking attacked me Emily and your having a go at me… fucking hell."

"I'm sorry okay; I just want to know what happened."

"Well I've told you… can we please just go home."

"Did she touch you?"

(Why the hell does she want to know all this?)

I exhaled heavily. I just wanted to go home and have a shower. That bitch made me feel all fucking dirty and I just felt as if I had cheated on Ems… even though I hadn't ya know. The thought of being touched by someone else made me feel guilty as all fuck. It's strange because I didn't feel like I had been sexually assaulted… I just felt fucking furious. To me it was like 'okay, she tried and I didn't want it… it happens'. It probably makes me sound fucking mental… but that's how I saw it.

"Yes."

I could physically see the steam shooting out of Emily's ears. She wasn't pissed at me… she was pissed at the situation.

"And what were YOU doing while she was doing that Naomi?"

"Ah what do ya think… trying to get the cunt off me." I replied with a hint of sarcasm.

Emily looked away for a moment. She seemed to be deep in thought. All of a sudden Emily gasped and looked back toward me with a distressed look on her face which slightly confused me.

"She didn't you know, go…"

I cut her off.

"No, she just… um, she was just like…"

I stopped to clear my throat.

"Ahh, rubbing… please Ems, I just… just need to get home okay. I need a shower… I feel gross. Please." I pleaded.

She nodded slowly, looking slightly troubled. She stepped towards me and took my hand as we continued onwards towards the direction of home. We didn't speak the whole way but it was okay… I didn't really feel like talking anyway. I don't think Emily would have wanted to either. She seemed terribly distracted and it worried the fuck out of me to be honest.

* * *

><p>"Emily, you're shirt. Top button... Do it up, now."<p>

"PISS OFF." Emily spat furiously as she came over to take a seat beside me.

The teacher paused and pursed her lips. She didn't seem too impressed with the way Emily had back chatted her.

"Okay, off you go… principle's office." She replied.

"Miss, you don't need to do that." Katie interrupted.

She turned to face Emily.

"Ems, just do what she said."

Emily was paying absolutely no attention to Miss Garner or Katie whatsoever. It shocked me, that's for fucking sure. Emily was always well behaved in class and always listened to the teachers without fail. To see this 'bad girl' side to her, I know now is not the time, but it was kind of hot.

"Emily, I will not tell you again, go to…"

"Excuse me Miss… I'd leave her alone if I were you." I said.

The teacher glared at me angrily. I cocked my eyebrow.

"Remember the last time you reprimanded someone for not wearing their uniform correctly… wouldn't want something like that to get out, ya know?"

I knew that no one at the school would believe me if I was to say something. In fact Miss Garner could switch her story and say that I came onto her and they'd believe that without any doubt because as we all know… I'm looked upon as nothing but a trouble maker… She looked at me as if to say 'who's going to believe you'. Well that was until Emily started laughing…

"Yeah MISS, wouldn't want THAT to get out now would we." She added with her voice bitter and husky.

The teacher went from looking all cocky and smug to looking like she was about to shit her pants. Katie was just looking towards us like 'what the fuck' and so were all the other students. I think when the teacher caught on to the fact that Emily might know about what had happened, she realised that although nobody would believe me, they would however pay attention to Emily. She was top of her class in all subjects, never had a detention and was respected by all teachers… Miss Garner just cleared her throat.

"Right, back to what I was saying…"

She continued on with the class but she was still looking over towards us. All the students had turned back around and were paying attention to what she was teaching. As Ems and I sat at the back I decided to lean in and give Ems a big passionate kiss and run my hand quickly up her skirt and over her knickers. The unexpected contact made Emily jump slightly in her seat. I pulled away leaving Emily all flustered and red faced with want… I threw a wink at the teacher. In other words I was telling her 'fuck you'. She got the message… Then I felt kind of bad for using Ems as my messenger so I leaned in and whispered sorry. She leaned in, in turn.

"It's okay." She whispered as she stroked my thigh. "You can make it up to me when the bell goes for lunch."

She chuckled lightly at my facial expression.

(I'll make it up too her alright.)

* * *

><p>It wasn't really that bad what Miss Garner did… well I suppose in a way it was. I mean an adult trying to take advantage of a student it's not exactly legal is it… but I honestly don't feel like I was taken advantage of. I may be young and all, but sexually I'm probably older then she is. Do you know what I mean? Like if it was Emily she tried it on with it would be different, ya know? I'd cut the bitch's hands off to be honest, she'd never be able to get it up again, that's for fucking sure… The whole experience wasn't bothering me though, I had been with older woman before… of course I had lied about my age and they were none the wiser, so it wasn't a big deal to me personally. I wasn't going to report her or anything. Miss Garner knew she had fucked up and I don't think she'd try it again with anyone else so there was no need to like say anything… Anyway, I'm waiting in English for Ems and I was starting to get a little worried about her because as we all know, she's never late and the fact that Miss Garner is too, it was making me feel all anxious… I was just about to leave the classroom to find Emily when she decides to come strolling in with a huge fucking smirk on her face. She gave me a massive hug and took my hand, walking me back to our seats at the back of the class. I looked at her questioningly when she leaned in and pecked me on the lips.<p>

"The teacher's running late. She needed to fix her make up." She said in a low husky voice.  
>"Huh?" I asked.<p>

I heard the door of the classroom open and turned my gaze towards it and OH MY FUCK-ING GOD…

I gasped and turned back to Emily.

"Did… did you do that?"

She grinned cheekily at me and nodded. The teacher had the biggest shiner I had ever seen in my entire life. Jesus fucking Christ… Emily popped her one. Fuck me… No amount of make up would hide that, bloody hell.

"She'll be more careful now..."

I was still in a daze. You have to understand, Emily is just NOT that type of person to hit anyone. She didn't even hit anyone when she was being bullied… she can't fight, ya know like if they hit her back she wouldn't have a chance. She can't brawl...

"Huh?"

"Of where she puts her hands." Emily continued.

She leaned in even closer and placed her mouth beside my ear.

"Only I'm allowed to touch you there." She whispered as she licked my ear causing me to shiver.

Fucking hell… is this change in Ems because of me? Have I awoken some sort of beast? She hasn't just come out of her shell, she has fucking destroyed it, Christ. She fucking blew the cunt up, guns blazing, ya know…

The class was over before I knew it. I was lost, deep within my thoughts. Emily had to assist me to get out of the classroom that's how fucking shocked I was…

"Ems… fuck, what…"

"She wanted to talk to me." Emily answered knowing what I was going to ask.

"But…"

"She wanted to know how much I knew about the 'incident'."

"Yeah but…"  
>"I punched her and walked out of her office."<p>

"But Ems… she could have you charged with assault, you could be expelled, FUCK." I replied panicked.

Emily started to laugh.

"Do you REALLY think that anyone would believe that poor little innocent Emily could ever do such a thing?" She replied sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Um…"

I still couldn't talk.

"She was trying to tell me that it was YOU that came on to her. She was going to report you… I couldn't let that happen. I told her I'd sing like a canary if she even dared to try. She didn't think that I knew anything…"

"Ahhh…"

Emily stood on her toes and kissed me sensually.

"Don't worry babe… you're safe. It's been sorted." She whispered.

* * *

><p>So yeah, Ems was right when she said it was sorted. Miss Garner was no longer with us. She resigned and moved on to somewhere else… I'd fucking love to know what exactly Ems had said to her, fuck me… she won't tell me, but she's clever… she probably read up on the legal side of things and fucking attacked her with it leaving the bitch completely confused, head fucked and black eyed… literally. This um, feisty Emily… I must admit… I'm liking it. She hasn't changed. She's still her warm, kind, sweet, loving self…just feistier… She has turned into an absolute animal in the bedroom, bloody hell… the reason I'm so fucking exhausted during my waking hours is because she is wearing me right out. She won't let me sleep. I don't know how her eyes aren't drooping out of her head. She's full of fucking beans… Christ. She's been happier too. Emily told me her mum had noticed. Jenna sat Ems down and said 'See Emsy, mother knows best. You're so much happier then you were when you with that despicable girl.' Ha, if only she knew the real cause. She'd drop dead of a heart attack. I should like film it and send it to her… I'm only joking; I would never do that to Ems, of course unless she wanted me too.<p>

"I like those jeans and that hat... don't know about the top though." Emily said as she pointed towards the mannequin.

"Try em on."

They were skinny jeans and were an extremely dark blue in colour. On me, I'd feel a bit on the uncomfortable side because I liked my jeans with a bit of a flare on the bottom, but on Ems fucking mint, even better if she wore her 'come fuck-me boots'. They were very low rise and that tight they looked painted on. WOW. The hat was a black trilby hat. She had it forward and tilted it to the side almost covering her right eye… I was stunned. The black hat against her red hair, I felt all weak. She looked hot. Not slutty hot because there is no way I'd let her walk around looking like that unless it was in the privacy of MY bedroom, she looked classy and awfully fucking sexy.

"You like it?" She chuckled.

"Uhuh." I nodded. "How…" I stopped to clear my throat. "How much?"

Emily turned slightly and pulled out the tag. Her face fell as she looked towards me slightly disappointed.

"The jeans are like 234 fucking pound." She pouted. "The hat is 90."

"You're kidding right?"

"I wish I was." She replied. "Hey what time is it?"

I pulled my phone out and checked.

"Ahh, it's 5.30 why?"

"Babe, you're mums expecting us for dinner, remember? She reminded you before we left this afternoon."

Emily started to laugh. I'm guessing it was due to my confused facial expression. What? It's not my fault Emily distracted me. She's fucking gorgeous…

"Oh yeah… shit… what time did she say?"

"6." Emily replied as she walked back into the change room.

I had a plan. I could see Ems really liked the hat and jeans and her birthday was coming up… maybe I could work something out. I walked over to the counter and pinched a business card and slipped it into my pocket as so I wouldn't forget which shop the clothes were in.

"Babe, you ready?"

"Huh… oh yeah sorry, let's go." I smiled.

We walked down the street for about 5 minutes and all of a sudden Emily dived into me, pushing me into a take away food shop…

"Christ Ems, I know you get hungry, but fuck…"

Emily paid no attention to me as she stared out the window of the shop. I just stood there and observed her wondering what the hell was going on as she unintentionally squeezed the fuck out of my hand.

"Okay let's go." She said as she pulled me out of the shop.

"What was that all about?"

"My mum."

"WHAT? WHERE? I replied, frantically looking around.

"It's okay, she's gone."

(Oh thank fuck.)

If Jenna caught me with Emily, I dunno I kept getting this image of being skinned alive… We continued to walk to my place, laughing and carrying on as we always did. Mum had made roast beef with gravy, roast potatoes, pumpkin, peas and carrots… As soon as I stepped inside the house, my mouth began to water. It had been awhile since mum had made this.

"You cheating prick." Emily smirked.

"What?"

"You should only be looking at ME like that." She replied as she playfully slapped my stomach.

"I'm only human." I replied as I gazed at the feast my mum had prepared.

It was my favourite and mum's roasts were to die for… It would melt in your mouth.

"Okay girls, dig in." Mum said as she brought over the last plate and took a seat.

"It looks lovely Gina." Emily said as she smiled warmly towards my mother.

"Thank you dear… now come on, before it gets cold." She replied.

We ate and chatted throughout the whole meal. Emily had actually gone for seconds… It still amazes me how she fits it all in. My mum didn't mind, she liked when people went for seconds. It made her happy when someone else apart from me enjoyed her cooking. It was kind of cute I suppose…

"Who's up for sweets?" My mum asked.

"No way, I'm stuffed." I replied leaning back on my chair slightly while I patted my stomach.

"What is it?" Emily asked curiously.

I immediately looked at Emily as my jaw dropped, hitting the kitchen table.

"What?" She chuckled.

I didn't reply because she knew 'what'.

(Christ…)

"Leave the poor girl alone Naomi. She's allowed to eat."

She turned her gaze on Ems.

"Apple and rhubarb crumble with custard love." She said.

"Yes please… That's my favourite." Emily replied.

"I thought I was you're favourite." I said pretending to be upset.

Emily leaned in and whispered into my ear.

"You are, but I can't exactly have your custard on my crumble right now, can I?"

She is so filthy.

"Naomi love… are you okay? Mum asked as she placed a bowl in front of Emily.

"Um, ah yeah… why?"

"You look a little flustered."

Emily started to giggle.

"Yeah… it's just a bit warm in here, um… I'm just gonna go and have a fag okay." I replied.

"Naoms?"

I turned to face Ems.

"You want some?" She winked as she extended her spoon in my direction.

"Ahhh, um…. ehhh." I said as I walked backwards and knocked into a chair, tipping it over.

Emily was unable to hold back the laughter. She loved seeing the reaction she had on me. How it turned my brain into fucking mush. How my limbs went to jelly… She'll pay for it later.

"Naomi, what is the matter with you? You've been so clumsy lately." My mum said as she grabbed me and moved me out towards the back door.

(Any fuck-ing wonder. It's Emily's fault. She loves teasing me… Bloody hell.)

I was half way through my smoke when Ems came out to join me. I raised the cigarette up to her and she leaned in and took a drag.

"You sleeping over babe?" I asked.

"I don't know… I'm not sure what Katie's doing tonight."

I smirked. I pulled out my phone and called Katie. If Katie went home, it meant Emily had to as well otherwise Jenna would know where she was. Jenna had been keeping a very watchful eye on Emily since she went back home. She won't allow her to leave the house unaccompanied. Katie was to be with her at ALL times… Katie has been staying out all night, which she does anyway but it means Ems can stay over mine unbeknownst to Jenna. Perfect.

"Hey, Katie… are you staying out tonight?"

"No why?"

"Ah fuck, do you have too?"

"Have too what?"

"Go home?"

"Fuck sake Naomi… I haven't been home for the last week…"

"Please, one more night yeah."

"What, so you muff muncher's can eat out?"

(Does she have to be so crude?)

"Well, yeah." I replied grinning.

I could just picture her facial expression right now. Haha fucking funny.

"Jesus fuck… okay, but you fucking owe me big time."

"I love you too Katiekins… Thanks yeah."

She didn't even reply. She hung up.

"Sorted… You're sleeping." I said to Emily as I placed my phone back into my pocket.

Emily smiled at me all sexy like.

"Not if I have anything to do with." She replied as she turned around and swung her hips as she walked back inside.

I flicked my smoke over the fence immediately and hurriedly walked into the house. Ems was talking to my mum in the kitchen.

"Good night mum." I said as I picked Emily up and slung her over my shoulder with her letting out a shriek.

I ran up the stairs and entered my bedroom. I closed the door behind me, placed Emily down and pretty much pounced on her. I ripped her clothes off of her body and threw her on the bed as I crashed our lips together. I roughly took her nipple and nipped and licked it with Emily gasping loudly. I lingered there for a quick moment and kissed my way down to her stomach and the lower part of her body. I kissed and licked the inside of Emily's thigh, making my way towards the spot that would make her lose all of her senses… Emily was breathing frantically… I could see just how worked up she was. As soon as my tongue came into contact with her she let out a loud guttural groan with her hips rising off of the bed. I wrapped my arms around her hips to hold them in place, because let's face it… I was about to attack. She placed a hand on top of my head and clutched at my hair as I circled and flicked as she rocked her hips into me…

"Ohhh Christ Naoms… Ohhh fuck… Ohhh Jesus…"

I applied more pressure and sucked, nipped, flicked and fucking circled with my tongue. The neighbours probably thought I was murdering someone; her screams were so fucking loud. Fucking hell, she almost ripped a chunk of hair from my skull as she came in full force. Her body shook violently for quite a while. She was completely totaled, struggling to recapture her breath…

"Oh my God Naomi…" She panted.

(Isn't it strange how people get all religious while having a shag?)

I chuckled. She let out a groan as she reached forward, grabbed my tee and dragged me up towards her, kissing me passionately. She pulled back completely breathless, panting with her eyes shut.

"Mmmm, you can do that to me anytime." She slurred

I placed soft and gentle kisses along her jaw line and down to her neck as she recaptured her breath, spent and exhausted.

"Ems… what was that about not sleeping?" I whispered into her ear.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Knock Knock<strong>_

"Hey mum, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Mum had just gotten out of the shower and was in the middle of getting dressed.

"Come in love, I'm covered." She replied.

I opened the door and took a seat on her bed while she fussed around, straightening up her outfit for the day.

"What it is dear?" She asked when I didn't say anything.

"Um, well… it's Emily's birthday soon and like, I wanted to get something for her… It's just that I don't have any money…"

"Oh love, I'd be more then happy to give you some… but you know how things are at the moment. I'm struggling to pay the bills."

"I can pay you back, it's no problem… I just don't have any money right now."

Mum came over and sat beside me looking sad.

"Hun, it's not about that. You're my daughter; I don't expect you to pay me back. I just… don't have it."

Mum started to get a little teary eyed and I felt bad for asking.

"I know it hasn't been easy for you love… You haven't had the things that most kids have because I haven't been able to afford it; you've had to go without."

She paused.

"I'm proud of you Naomi because you have never once complained." She said as she wiped a small tear from her eye.

"Ma, I don't care about that stuff… you've always had a roof over our heads ya know. That's all that matters."

She smiled warmly towards me.

"I know I say this all the time hun, but things will get better eventually…"

"I know that mum. It's okay yeah… I'll figure something out." I replied smiling.

I was disappointed. Not with my mum, I mean she has tried her absolute best to make sure I had clean clothes on my back, a roof over my head and a hot meal waiting for me when I got home. I don't know how she's done it to be honest. Sometimes we've had our electricity cut off because mum was late with the bill and that's kind of why I do what I do… I steal. It's not the right thing to do I know and I haven't done it for so long but there have been times mum has gone without eating for two days to make sure that I was fed… I remember when I was 9, we were doing it really tough and mum was stressed out to the max, I was walking down the street and some guy left his car open as he quickly ran into the milk bar… he had left his laptop on the passenger seat so I had a quick look around and pinched it. I went over to my friend's house; it was only him and his dad. His father was as shifty as all fuck and even though I was only 9, I knew a lot more then the average kid my age. I sold it to him for £150. He was only going to give me £50 but as young as I was I said 'no, I'll take my business else where'. He tried to rip me off but he was okay, he gave me what I wanted for it. I had no idea what they were really worth but I wasn't taking any less… Anyway, I went home to mum. She didn't hear me come in and I found her at the kitchen table crying over a stack of overdue bills. I walked over to her and she immediately wiped her eyes when I asked her what was wrong. She put on a false smile and said 'nothing love, mum's just happy'. She was trying to hide the real reason behind her tears but although I was only a kid, I knew what was going on. She lifted me up and placed me on her knee and tried to make me laugh… but it didn't work. I knew she was struggling with things. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a hand full of notes and gave it to her and as soon as she saw it, she broke down in a flood of tears again, knowing how I had gotten the money… I only just wanted to make her happy…

"I love you mum." I said as I kissed her on the cheek.

I stood up and left her to get ready. I went into my bedroom and had a look around. I didn't really have much. I sighed heavily as my eyes came to rest on my CD player. That will have to do. I knew I could get at least £80 for it and it was better then stealing. I've been well behaved lately, well since me and Ems have gotten together. I've been going to school, I haven't been getting into trouble, I haven't used MDMA and to be honest, I'm lucky to have a spliff once a week… I know huh, I can't believe it either… I disconnected the player and made sure mum was still in her room because I didn't want her to see me for obvious reasons and left the house. When I got to the pawn shop the guy offered me £95 to much of my surprise but of course I bumped him up a little and ended up getting £110… I sold my iPod as well. He didn't give me much for it because it was a bit banged up and it was an older model but it was a start. My phone started to ring…

"Hello."

"Hey babe, where are you?"

"I'm just out and about ya know…" I chuckled. "What are you doing?"

"I'm at yours." Ems replied. "Weren't we going…"

"Oh shit, I'm sorry yeah, I forgot… I'm coming now okay." I replied panicked.

She laughed.

"That's okay… I'll see you soon then. Love you."

"I love you too." I smiled.

* * *

><p>The bell rang at the end of classes. Ems wanted to come over tonight but she had to wait because Katie wasn't going out until 7 so she had to go home first. I gave her a kiss and said I'd see her later and made my way home. It was Thursday and Emily's birthday was in two weeks. I still didn't have nearly enough to get Ems that hat and pair of jeans but I still had time so I wasn't going to worry about it tonight. I got home and went straight in to my bedroom and threw my school bag in the corner. I sat on my bed for a moment just to unwind and noticed £15 sitting on my bed. I immediately picked it up; feeling extremely agitated and ran down the stairs. Mum was in the kitchen sipping on a tea and flicking through the newspaper.<p>

"Oh hello love… how was school?" She asked.

"It was school… mum, did you leave this on my bed?" I asked as I held out the notes with a shaky hand.

She looked up towards me and smiled regrettably.

"I know it's not much love, but I thought it might help."

I shook my head.

"No mum, I can't take this… it's not right."

"It's okay dear…"

"It's not okay mum… I shouldn't have asked you the other day. I'm sorry but I can't take it."

"Naomi, its fine... I wouldn't give it to you if I couldn't afford it."

I sighed.

"Please mum, take it back… you might need it later, ya know."

"It's alright love, we're up too date with the bills this month… so put it back in your pocket."

(Nah I can't do it. It's not fair on her.)

I walked over to her and gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek as I placed the money in front of her.

"Go and treat yourself mum, you deserve it…"

I turned back around and went back upstairs to my bedroom. I cleaned it up a bit and went and had a shower and put some clean clothes on. I decided I'd smoke a spliff. I felt a little shook up due to the whole money thing and I wanted to be in a relaxed mood for when Emily got here. She'd know something wasn't right and that I was kind of stressing about something. I didn't want her to worry or anything. Like there was nothing to really worry about, but I know what she's like. If she see's that I'm distracted and whatever she panics but I admit I'm the same when I see her that way too, no matter how small the problem might be… It was around 7.30 when Ems knocked on my door, she said hello to my mum and we went straight up to my room to chill out for a bit.

"Naoms, where's you're CD player?"

(Fuck)

"Oh it fucked up the other day so I chucked it out." I replied.

"You might have been able to get it fixed."

"Ahh doesn't matter; I'll just get a new one. It was kind of old anyway."

There was a slight pause.

"Hey you want to have a toke?" I asked.

Emily frowned.

"We've got school tomorrow Naoms…"

"So, that never stopped you before?"

"Yeah well that was until my grades started to slip."

"Okay babe, suit yourself." I smiled. "I'm having one though."

I got up off the bed and went over to my desk and got myself a spliff. Emily just stayed sitting on the bed and observed me. I sat back on the bed and looked at Emily quickly as I went to spark up. She looked concerned. She could see I was a bit on the edgy side and I was kidding myself when I thought that she wouldn't notice. She leaned forward and gently took the spliff from my lips and replaced it with hers. She pulled back from the kiss and looked at me…

"I've got a better way to relax you." She smirked.

She pushed me back so I would lie down as she straddled my legs and undid my belt and jeans. She slid my pants and knickers off and slowly came back up and kissed me. She ran her hands under my tee and across my stomach causing my heart to beat faster and my body to shiver slightly in anticipation. She descended down to my neck, placing soft and gentle kisses. She continued down and raised my top and slowly kissed my stomach as she made her way down. My breathing had become heavier, naturally as she started to lick and kiss the inside of my thigh. She looked up at me and kissed and licked me where I needed it the most for a few moments before she went to the other thigh and teased me all over again. I groaned disapprovingly at her actions with her letting out an evil little chuckle before she went back to um, servicing me. The way she was doing it, fucking hell… it was driving me insane. She was being soft and gentle while she licked and suckled. In between each suckle she would ask me if I liked it and she would moan and groan as if she was enjoying her favourite bowl of ice cream… I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed more pressure… I placed my hand on her head and pushed her into me. She ran her hands up, over my stomach which turned me on even more and brought them back down to hold my hips in place as she quickened the movement of her tongue… Fuck me, I was seeing stars and all… before I knew it my whole body was on fire and a massive wave of undeniable pleasure coursed through every inch of my entire body. It was that intense, I removed my hand from her head in fear I would rip her hair out so instead I clutched at her top because FUCK ME, I had to hold on to something. Christ. When I came crashing back down and she ceased the movement of her tongue, she gave me one last kiss before she came back up to plant one on my face…

"You know… you're getting REALLY good at that." I panted.

She's always been good at it to be honest. It's one of those 'natural talents' I was talking about a while ago…

"I can tell." She chuckled.

I leaned up and reclaimed her lips and flipped us over so that now, I was on top of her… She was undressed and I had her mumbling and clutching at the bed sheets as I grinded slowly against her. She was moaning loudly as her eyes were flicking to the back of her head every time I would thrust upwards. She had her left leg wrapped tightly around me, her hips were rocking on there own accord… My phone was ringing but I paid no attention to it… I started to go a little harder and a little faster with Emily gasping loudly trying to intake as much oxygen as she possibly could… She wrapped an arm around my neck, pulling me down and kissing me roughly. She broke away to let out a satisfied groan followed by an 'I love you' as I saw and felt the tell tale signs of her about to come… My bedroom door swung open.

"Fuck sake… mums on her way." Katie shrieked urgently as she picked up Emily's clothes and flung them on the bed.

It didn't even bother her that I was in the middle of shagging her sister.

"I've been trying to call you for fuck-ing ages… hurry up."

Katie left the room. Emily pushed me off of her in a complete panic, the wrong way though. I fell off the bed.

"Ohmygod… fuck are you okay?" Emily gasped.

I laughed because I was picturing it in my head as if I was a third person and it would have looked quite funny… Emily hurriedly put her clothes on and gave me an urgent kiss before she made her way towards the door. Katie burst in again as I was getting myself dressed. She lunged at Emily, bringing them both to the floor with Katie dragging her under the bed.

"She's here." Katie whispered just loud enough so I could hear.

(Oh fuck… here we go.)

I could hear an angry knock at the front door with my mum answering. I exited my bedroom and hung up stairs for a bit to hear what was being said.

"Where's Emily?" Jenna asked.

"I'm sorry love I think you might have the wrong house." My mother replied as sweet as fucking pie.

(Oh thank fuck she knows what's going on.)

Jenna looked slightly embarrassed for a moment until she cast her eyes up the stairs and spotted me.

"I don't think so… where is she Naomi?" Jenna said squinting at me angrily.

"How the FUCK should I know?" I replied.

She pushed past my mother and stormed her way up the stairs towards me. My mother's face changed and I gulped because I know how she is when she gets angry. It takes a lot to fire her up but when she is… fucking RUN… Run for your fucking life.

Jenna reached the top step and pushed me out of the way causing me to slam into the wall. She opened my bedroom door and looked around the room. She spotted Emily's bra that was on the floor near my desk.

(FUCK SAKE)

She stormed over to it and picked it up as she was practically foaming from the mouth in complete and total fucking fury. She stormed back over to me and slapped my face so fucking hard I felt my brain rattle inside my skull. I heard Emily gasp loudly but thank God Jenna didn't. My mum grabbed my top and pulled me towards her and swapped our positions so that now she was in front of Jenna.

"WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?" Jenna screamed.

"You need to leave." My mum said calmly.

"You are a disgrace. How could you let that THING you call a daughter do the things she does. She has brainwashed my little girl." She spat as she pointed at me.

My mum didn't reply… she couldn't because she was biting her bottom lip in anger. I know she wanted to knock Jenna out but she knew Katie and Emily were hiding under my bed and she didn't want to do that in front of them.

"I know she's been here… AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING TO HER." She shot out as she held up Emily's bra towards me.

(Fucking hell… she's making me feel like I've been doing something wrong. She's made me feel like a fucking sexual predator.)

My mum smiled and snatched the bra from Jenna's hand, acting like it was her own.

"Thank you dear, I've been looking everywhere for that. It must have gotten mixed up with Naomi's washing." My mum said all cheery like.

Her face went back to being dark.

"Now, get the fuck out of my house you narrow minded cunt."

I gasped… Jenna looked completely shocked, like she didn't know what to do or say due to my mum's ability to be all sweet faced one minute and then turn into Hannibal Lecter the next. My mum grabbed her arm and hurriedly dragged her back out the room and out of our house. Jenna screamed out 'Emily' a few times but obviously Ems wasn't going to answer her. I followed mum to make sure she was okay.

"Whoever you are, you are not welcome here. FUCK OFF and go back to wherever it is you FUCK-ING came from." My mum shouted furiously as she slammed the door shut and locked it.

Mum rested her back against the door and breathed in and out a couple of times to regain her composer. She saw me and immediately came over to look at my cheek worriedly.

"Oh hun, are you okay?" She asked.

I chuckled to lighten the mood.

"I'm fine… I've had worse." I replied smiling.

(It's true… I've been belted badly on more then one occasion. A slap isn't going to bother me.)

Mum's eye's changed from being concerned to furious again. I could see what was running through her mind. She wanted to go back out there and hunt Jenna down for hitting her only daughter but she adored Emily as if she was one of her own and out of respect she shook it off and went into the kitchen to make everyone a tea.

"Naomi love, I think Emily might be needing this." She said as she held out her bra.

"Um, ahhh, ehhhh."

"Don't be silly dear; you forget… I was young once too." Mum said.

"Ahhh yeah… thanks." I said as I quickly took Emily's bra and headed back upstairs.

I don't know why I was tongue tied; I mean I have never been like that with mum before when it had to do with that particular subject… I think it's because it's Emily, not sure of the cause exactly but my brain works stupid sometimes… I opened my bedroom door and made the announcement.

"She's gone yeah."

I heard the twins let out the breath that they were both holding and scurry out from under my bed. Emily immediately threw her arms around me when she saw the red hand print courtesy of a Mrs. Jenna Fitch.

"Ems… Jesus fuck, mum's gone fuck-ing mental." Katie said to her sister.

Emily didn't say anything. She looked upset. Katie turned towards me and scrunched her face up when she saw my reddened cheek.

"Sorry yeah."

"It's okay… probably looks worse then it actually is… Listen, how the fuck did she know Emily was here?" I asked.

"I don't know… I went home because I forgot my phone, I told her Ems stayed back at the club but she went all fucking crazy… and mentioned you. Next minute she's fucking on her way here."

"Look I think you both should stay here tonight… let your mum cool down a bit." I offered.

Katie smiled.

'Thanks lezza… appreciate it yeah." She replied.

"Katie." Emily gasped.

"What? She knows I'm joking…" She looked back towards me and cocked her eyebrow. "Isn't that right muff muncher?"

I've known Katie long enough now to know how she is. If you got over the whole 'being offended' stage, what she says is quite humorous.

"Yeah." I chuckled.

My mum gently knocked on the door.

"Girls, I've got a lovely pot of tea waiting down stairs if you're interested." My mum smiled as she poked her head through the doorway.

Katie practically pushed me out the way and ran after my mum. I have never seen anyone so anxious for tea in all my fucking life, bloody hell. I went to follow but Ems grabbed my arm gently.

"Babe, I'm so sor…"

I cut her off.

"It's okay Ems; it's not your fault."

She raised her hand and stroked my bruised cheek as a tear escaped her eye.

"My mother had no right to do that to you."

Emily turned angry all of a sudden.

"She is such a fucking bitch."

I stepped in closer and wrapped her in a comforting hug, stroking her back softly. I didn't really know what to say that would make Emily feel okay but I knew she thought her mum despised her.

"She does love you Ems… she's just having a hard time accepting ya know… this, us."

"If she loved me she wouldn't be having a hard time with it…"

"It goes against her beliefs… to her, this isn't normal. She'll come around eventually… Look anyways, she doesn't know for sure if you were here or not… just set it up with Katie that you were at the club and deny everything else okay."

Emily pulled back from the hug and was looking up at me furiously.

"Is that what you want Naomi? You want me to deny our relationship to everyone?"

"I didn't say that Ems…"

"Fuck you." She spat, storming out of the room to join Katie and my mum downstairs.

(What the fuck just happened?)

I went downstairs after about five minutes trying to figure out Emily's sudden change. I replayed the conversation over and over again in my mind to see if maybe I may have said something wrong but honestly, I don't think I did. Emily was sitting at the table and was the only one who didn't look up at me as I entered the kitchen.

"I poured you a cup of tea." Mum said waving her hand towards the cup.

She gave me a wink to let me know that it was her 'special' brew and God did I need it. Of course it was only my tea that had her special blend, just to clear that up. I didn't bother sitting down when I took the cup and sculled it. I finished it off rather quickly and placed it back down on the table and looked towards Emily.

"Ems, can I talk to you for a sec?"

She didn't answer. Mum looked from me to Emily and back again realising that something was wrong.

"Katie dear, I have a new top I purchased the other day. It's rather plain… maybe you could show me how to spruce it up a bit."

Katie beamed from ear to ear. Clothing was Katie's first love… not sure how my mum knew that but anyway. Mum stood up and wrapped her arm around Katie and took her upstairs to her bedroom to show her the top. I sat down next to Emily who was still paying absolutely no attention to me.

"Ems…what's wro…"

She cut me off.

"Do you love me Naomi?"

(What the fuck?)

"You know I do."

"Why is it that you never admit that I'm you're… that you're with me?" Emily said as she finally lifted her gaze and looked me right in the eye.

She looked hurt, confused and saddened.

"If I had balls, you're mum would slice them off and feed 'em too me, that's why." I replied.

"I'm not talking about my mum, that I understand but… you don't tell anyone. I know that those tarts at school are still trying to get with you and not ONCE have you said that you were with me."

Okay, I get it now. By me saying to Emily to deny that she was with me tonight to her mother, it brought up all this other shit. She's right… I haven't said that I was with Ems to any of them. I just tell them that I'm with someone but I mean, the way we carry on at school, it shouldn't be to hard to tell…

"If you don't want to be with me Naomi, just say so okay… I…"

"Emily, I love you, I WANT to be with you and if it makes you happy I'll scream it from the fucking roof tops babe."

(Fucking Jenna, it's not just the bullies at school that have made Emily unsure and second guess everything in her life… It's her fucking mother as well. Fuck sake.)

Emily still had a doubtful look in her eye. I leaned in and gently held her chin.

"I love you and I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to fuck off... Even then you'll have a hard time." I whispered as I closed the gap, pressing my lips tenderly onto hers

I pulled back and stood up, reaching over for her hand, for her to follow. I told mum that we were going to bed and I let Katie know that she could have the spare room to crash in. I laid down on the bed and Emily followed suit. I wrapped her tightly in my arms and waited for her emotions to take over. After a few moments she completely crumbled and broke down in tears. It had been quite an eventful night for all of us but for Emily it was a highly stressful and emotional one. She had a mother who didn't accept her for who she was. She had a mother who absolutely hated the one she loved with a passion. The list goes on and on and fucking on… Emily always questions our relationship when things get tough. I think she thinks that the moment shit gets hard I'm going to walk away because I don't love her enough… She is so wrong but I would never hold it against her. I know what she's been through and I know it'll just take patience on my part which I don't have a problem with. If I can help it, I'll always be there for her.

* * *

><p>"Babe, I've got to go to Mr. Geary's office. You wanna come with?"<p>

Ever since I was propositioned by Miss Garner I was paranoid about every other teacher. I told Ems straight out that she was not to go to anyone's office without me. It was more like an order, demand, directive… however you want to put it… You can't blame me for being wary… The way I looked at Ems she knew she had asked me a silly question.

"Come on then." She said.

I took her hand and we walked towards the teacher's building. Yep, they have their own private building so they can attack young innocent little school girls… don't mind me I'm just bitter towards them… It's not all that bad, but I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them… We walked into the corridor and walked down about half way and came to Mr. Geary's personal office. His door was slightly ajar so I opened it but he wasn't in there… What I did notice though was his jacket hanging off the back of a chair with his wallet sticking out.

"You okay Naoms?"

I nodded as the temptation to pinch it swept over me.

"Ah Emily, do you have that assignment we discussed?" Mr. Geary called out from the other side of the corridor.

"Be right back." Emily said as she walked over to the teacher.

I looked over quickly and they seemed to be deep in conversation. I looked back at the wallet and I couldn't help myself. It was like I was on auto pilot. I stepped into the room and went straight over to his jacket. I pulled the wallet out and opened it up and holly fuck… he had like £400 in there. Normally I would have taken the whole lot, but this time I only took what I needed to make up the difference for Ems birthday present which was about £200 so I just took £230 and left the rest in his wallet. I quickly put the notes into my pocket, put it back inside the jacket and was about to leave the room when he and Emily strolled over. He looked at me strangely...

"Naoms you ready?"

"Ah yeah." I replied as I hurriedly walked out, dragging Emily behind me.

We only managed to walk for about 20 seconds before Mr. Geary grabbed me from behind and slammed me into the lockers. He started to frisk search me. Emily watched on in horror at what was happening. He found what he was looking for but he continued to hold onto me.

"Fucking get off me." I shouted as I pushed him back.

He grabbed my arm and put me in some sort of arm lock which caused me to lean forward with my arm bent up, behind my back as he walked me towards his office. Emily finally became unstuck when I cried out in pain.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She shrieked.

If you have never been held in such a way, it feels as if you're arm is going to snap and rip from the shoulder. Very fucking painful.

"She can wait in my office until the police get here." He replied sternly.

Emily gasped loudly and ran in front of him.

"NO… NO PLEASE DON'T." She screamed panicked. "You've got you're money back, please can't you just let her go?"

"FUCK SAKE… YOU'RE GONNA BREAK MY FUCK-ING ARM." I said clenching my jaw.

"Sir please stop. You're hurting her." Emily pleaded.

He lifted my arm a little higher which caused me to cry out again and drop to my knees in agony. He leaned down.

"You're done. Clear out your locker. You're mother will be notified." He whispered as he released me.

"YOU FUCKING PRICK." I yelled.

I know I done the wrong thing, but fuck… really? You can't manhandle the fucking students, fuck me… He walked into his office and slammed the door. Emily rushed down to my side to see if I was okay as I cradled my arm, waiting for the excruciating pain to subside.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Emily said as she grabbed me by my school shirt and shook me. "Jesus Fucking Christ Naomi, he was going to call the police."

"I'm sorry okay… just leave it." I replied as I stood up and left the building.

Emily followed. I walked to where the student's building was and opened my locker and started to stuff all my belongings into my bag. She looked towards me completely confused. She didn't hear what Mr. Geary so lovingly whispered into my ear. She grabbed my arm to stop me…

"What… what are you doing?"

I was pissed off at myself for being so fucking stupid. It's a problem I have. I'm impulsive and what just happened not even 5 minutes ago proves my case. I didn't answer.

"Fuck sake, talk to me. Why are you clearing out your locker?" She yelled.

I sighed heavily.

"Because I am no longer a student here…"

"What?"

I turned towards her.

"I've been kicked out."

Emily just stared at me, looking towards me in disappointment. I couldn't look at her. I turned back to my locker and continued putting all my school shit into my bag. She dragged me away and forced me to face her.

"We have to go to the principle and tell him what Mr. Geary did, okay. Come on." She urged.

"Emily, no…"

I saw Emily's face turn from worried to completely fucking furious as rage swept throughout her.

"DON'T YOU FUCK-ING CARE ABOUT YOUR FUTURE?"

"Emily, I do… but if I report him, he'll just report me… I'm still standing in shit. Do you understand?"

_**SLAP**_

"YOU FUCKING TWAT. HOW COULD YOU BE SO FUCKING STUPID?"

She paused to run a frustrated hand through her hair. I reached for her hand to calm her down but she flicked it away.

"Ems relax okay…"  
>"Naomi he was going to call the cops." She squinted in anger.<p>

Emily paused for a moment as she glared at me.

"If he had of, you would be on your way to FUCK-ING JAIL. What is wrong with you?"

"He didn't make the call so don't worry about it."

"How can I not worry about it? I fucking love you Naomi, fuck sake… just forget it." She said as she pushed past me and stormed off.

I finished up what I was doing and figured I'd just call Ems later. She really cared whether or not I completed school. She always made sure I had done my homework and stuff, and my grades had actually improved. She never gave me the answers to anything and it didn't matter how many times I asked her, she wouldn't budge. She would make me do the work and study. She even made sure I went to school. She refused to wag with me whenever I asked her… And of course, the whole 'staying out of trouble' thing which I have been doing, but it's like if there's an opportunity I just can't fucking help myself. I've got no self control. I can see why she's upset, furious, disappointed and all that. She's right… I am a twat. You would think that the thought of jail would be enough to scare me straight… but noooo I do the fucking opposite. I'm such a dumb fuck sometimes. FUCK. What the fuck am I suppose to do now?

(Bit late to think about shit now Naoms.)

I walked into the school toilets, went over to the basin and turned the tap on to splash some cold water on my face in an effort to calm down. I finished up and went to walk out but I heard sobbing and I knew straight away that it was Emily. I opened up the door to the cubicle. She was sitting on top of the toilet lid with her head in her hands. I knelt down in front of her and gently removed her hands from her face.

"Ems… please don't do that." I said softly. "Everything will be okay… " I tried to reassure her.

She took in a few deep breaths as she wiped her eyes dry with the back of her sleeve.

"I'm sorry I hit you."

"It's okay, I deserved it." I replied with a small smile.

She let out a little chuckle.

"Just… Naoms, if you needed money… you could have asked me. You could have just come to me."

"I know babe…"

She didn't let me finish. She wrapped me in a crushing embrace and almost squeezed the life out of me. She placed her mouth beside my ear as she clung to me tightly.

"It scares me Naoms… Please just fucking THINK before you do anything."

I nodded. I pulled back from the hug and kissed her.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay." She replied as she exhaled a shaky breath.

I stood up and extended my hand. She took it and stood up also. I was about to walk out of the toilets but when I saw her with her mascara everywhere I couldn't help but wrap her in a tight fucking hug. I hated seeing her upset. It broke my heart to be perfectly honest.

"Come on let's get out of here." I whispered.

She smiled through her tears, took my hand again and we both headed towards my place.

* * *

><p>Mum was FUCKING furious when she received the call from the school and they stated why I had been kicked out. I was so embarrassed about it. Thinking back I can't believe how fucking dumb I was… I'm usually a lot shiftier then that. Fucking hell. I might as well have done it in front of him ya know. That's how stupid it was. Emily was upset for a couple of days because she was worried about what I was going to do now that I didn't have school… but we're okay which is the main thing ya know. Emily's birthday is tomorrow and thank fuck I had the money. I had invested what I had into some weed and sold it at a couple of parties. I got rid of it in no time minus a couple a grams. I saved some for me... I made a little extra cash too, so I'm going to pass the rest onto mum to help her out a bit… Thing's will be okay. I'll get myself a job eventually. It'll be hard because of my record but I'm sure someone will give me a go. If I have a job and an income I think the need to pinch things would no longer be a need, you know what I mean? Like, I never stole stuff just for the hell of it… well that's kind of a lie, I have sometimes, when I was younger. Where else was I going to get alcohol from? Putting that aside though, I usually went for things that I could sell so I could make money. I didn't give it to mum all the time because for obvious reasons she didn't agree with my choices but if I had money that meant that she didn't have to give me any. I dunno, it probably sounds like I'm making up excuses but unless you've lived like I have and didn't know when your next meal was going to be you'd probably be able to relate to what I am saying, ya know?<p>

"Naoms I wish you could be there tomorrow…" Emily said depressingly.

I wrapped an arm around her and gave her a little squeeze as we sat on the couch.

"I might be able to work something out." I grinned cheekily.

"How? We're having dinner with the family at my house and then we're going to a club… mum's going too."

I had to laugh.

"You're mum's going to a club?"

Emily nodded.

"Is she dressing up? It's theme innit?" I chuckled. "Oh what are you going as by the way?"

Emily grinned.

"I'll send you a photo."

I paused to study her face for a moment.

"Ems, why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to be happy with you're costume?"

"Oh don't worry babes… you'll love it." She said as she leaned in and pecked me on the lips.

I pulled back and looked at her seriously.

"I'm sure I will… but I don't want anyone else 'loving' it." I replied.

"I can't help that… but it's only you that will be allowed to…"

I cut her off.

"Yeah okay, I get it."

(Jealous much Naoms?)

"Don't you trust me?" She asked looking hurt.

"Of course I trust you… I just don't trust the other fuckers. I don't like other people looking at you like that, ya know?"

I sighed.

"Forget it… I'm being an idiot."

Emily brought herself closer and snuggled into me as she giggled.

"Do I sense a hint of jealousy?"

"Yeah maybe a little." I admitted.

"Just a little? That's nice…" She replied with a shot of sarcasm.

I chuckled.

"You know what I mean…" I replied as I kissed her forehead. "Hey what time will you be at the club?"

"Um around 9ish I think."

"What's the theme; Katie was being her usual bitchy self and wouldn't tell me."

Ems smiled at me and I knew straight away.

"Horror?"

"Of course." She replied.

I laughed.

"And Katie agreed?" I asked a little shocked.

"Yeah… any chance to dress up as a Gothic whore, she's there."

I knew what she meant by that because obviously the way Katie likes to dress, her clothing can be quite revealing… I thought I'd play with her.

"Ems that's kinda mean… not all Goth's are whore's or vice versa." I replied.

She looked up at me.

"And you would know ALL about that, wouldn't you Naomi…"

She was only teasing. Her nostrils slightly flare when she's pretending to be serious.

"Um… yeah, I've shagged a few." I replied seriously.

She gasped from my unexpected answer.

"How many's a few?" She asked curiously.

"Oh I dunno… 15 maybe 20… I haven't really been counting."

Oh my God, you have no idea how hard it was NOT to laugh. Bloody hell her facial expression was fucking hilarious. She didn't reply, she just kept staring at me.

"Yep… definitely got a thing for those kinda girls. Love the whole 'princess of darkness' look, ya know… Hey, you reckon you could send me a picture of Katie too." I asked.

Her eyes squinted in anger and just as she was about to say something or punch me in the face, I could no longer contain myself. I burst into a fit of laughter…

"You are such a prick…" Emily said as she stood up.

"Oh, come here babe… I was only joking." I said as I pulled her back down onto the couch.

She looked towards me questioningly.

"How many really?"

"What? All up or just gothic chicks?" I asked.

"Both." She shot out quickly.

"I've slept with 4 goth's and all up um… babe I don't actually know and to be honest it's probably better if I don't say. None of that shit matters anymore."

She paused for a moment.

"Roughly?"

"If I tell you, you promise not to get angry or anything?"

"I promise." She said.

I hesitated.

"I'm just curious… I promise I won't get angry." Emily added.

I sighed heavily.

"Okay… Look this is just an approximate but around… FUCK, nah I dunno babe. Maybe just leave it yeah?"

"Over 10?"

I nodded.

"Over 20?" She asked again.

"Yeah."

She just stared at me for a moment deep in thought, like she was adding up.

"It's over 50 isn't it?"

I didn't answer because for some reason I felt kind of embarrassed and ashamed in front of Emily plus I was in shock that she had jumped straight to that figure.

"Oh my God, I'm right, aren't I? How many Naomi?"

"Well… I, I… the, the way I work it out is, I was thirteen when I had my first shag so, um about…ah, about 25 a year…" I cringed. "Actually, it would be more than that I think..."

Emily gasped loudly in shock. She got up off the couch.

"Ems fuck… you promised you wouldn't get upset." I called out panicked.

"I'm not… I need a fag." She replied.

She came back over and sat down beside me and looked at me seriously as she took a drag from her smoke.

"Do you miss it?" She asked.

"Miss what?"

"Sleeping with different girls… being, I dunno, free?"

I smiled warmly at her.

"No..." I replied honestly as I took her cigarette and took a drag from it.

I shifted myself onto my knees and leaned forward giving her a tender kiss, forcing her to lie down.

"I like being your prisoner." I smirked.

* * *

><p>Okay, so this is my plan yeah… Emily and Katie are celebrating their birthday and its theme night. Ems really wanted me to be there and I REALLY want to be there so I'm just simply going to go. I know Jenna's going to be scanning the entire club with her beady little eyes and keeping an extremely watchful eye on Emily so that is why I'm dressed as Jason Voorhees, you know, the dude from Friday The 13th. It's actually quite perfect really and being 'horror' themed I'll blend right in. I'm wearing old baggy slacks which I put a few rips in to make it look more authentic, black tee and jacket, hockey mask which is a necessity... Ems has no idea. I'm going to go a bit later to wait for everyone to get comfortable and a little pissed (Mainly Jenna) before I slip through the doors undetected… Right now though I'm about to knock on the Fitch's front door… Rob answered and looked at me strangely so I lifted the mask that I was wearing, resting it on top of my head.<p>

"Um, hi Mr. Fitch… How, um how are you?" I asked nervously.

I'm not sure why I was like this. It's not like Jenna was around.

"Hi love… Emsy's not home, they already left." He replied.

Rob was alright… I liked him and I think he liked me too. If he didn't, I'm sure he would tell me to fuck off.

"Yeah, I know. I just, I've got a present for um, for Emily and Katie, and I was wondering if you could like put it in their room or something… Like for when they get home?"

He smiled warmly at me as he nodded.

"Thanks Mr. Fitch…"

"Call me Rob." He said.

"Thanks Rob… um this one's for Ems..." I said as I passed over a purple box with her hat and jeans. "… and this one's for Katie." I said referring to the card.

I had no fucking idea what to get Katie so I just put some cash in a card for her. She can get whatever she wants then.

"Can ahhh, can you make sure that…"

Rob cut me off knowing what I was going to say. I didn't want Jenna to see them. She'd want to know where the gifts came from, ya know.

"You're right love… for their eyes only." He replied giving me a wink.

I smiled and nodded.

"Have a goodnight Mr. um… Rob."

"You too love… be careful." He said as he closed the door, knowing where my next stop was.

Right, that's done… thank fuck for that. I turned away and walked down towards the footpath and suddenly stopped. I didn't feel right about going to the party empty handed… I walked into Jenna's little garden bed and looked down at her favourite little rose bush… I completely destroyed it… I know, that's just flat out cruel but hey, I had no more money left and I wanted to give Ems something when I got to the club and Jenna's roses were gorgeous… just like my Emily. The jacket I was wearing had a huge inside pocket so I placed the roses in there after picking off as many thorns as I possibly could from the stalk AND from my hands so Ems wouldn't get pricked. I pulled out a spliff as I made my way towards my destination and sparked up because what I was about to do required me to be cool, calm and collected even though I was wearing a 'disguise'. Sometimes I wondered if Jenna had x-ray vision…

I got to the front of the club as I finished off my second spliff. I flicked it into the gutter and quickly put my mask on. There were a few people hanging out the front, no doubt from the party. Katie was amongst them. I just stood there and stared at her. I was in a mischievous mood… She came over.

"What the fuck are you looking at loser?"

I didn't say anything and I was trying my hardest not to laugh.

"Hey, I'm talking to you yeah…"

I couldn't hold it any longer. I burst out laughing. She recognised my voice and gasped.

"Fuck… Naomi?"

I nodded as I got myself under control.

"What the actual fuck? My mum will kill you…"

"Why do you think I'm dressed like this?" I cut in.

She looked a little stunned and appeared like she didn't know what else to say. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a single rose.

"Happy birthday Katiekins." I said as I passed it to her and gave her a quick hug. "Is Ems inside?"

"Yeah… just FUCK, try to stay out of sight yeah…"

I nodded.

"You're fucking mental, you know that?" She added.

I smiled… but obviously she couldn't see it. I nervously walked inside and scanned the whole area. I spotted Jenna sitting towards the back with some other people. She seemed to know them pretty well by the way she was conversing with them. I assumed that they might be aunties or cousins or some form of relation. I cast my gaze over towards the dance floor because as Ems loves to dance well obviously that's where she'd be… My eyes almost popped out of my head, thank fuck I was wearing a hockey mask to keep my eyeballs in their sockets. Bloody hell… I almost fucking passed out. She looked hot. I almost ran over there but I was in two minds about what to do. Jump her or take my jacket off and cover her up… She had dressed herself up as a vampire. A VERY sexy looking vampire. She barely had any clothes on. She was wearing a red and black corset with fishnet stockings with a garter belt… you know the strap thingy's on the stockings and 6 inch heels… She never did send me that picture of her costume which made me curious. Was she saving it for after the party? Part of me wanted to run back home and wait for it… I looked back over towards Jenna who was still deep in conversation and then back to Ems but she was walking away. I became unglued and followed her as she made her way into the toilets. Some people came out as she went in, which left her by herself. She looked a little stressed as she went to close the cubicle door. I put my hand up and stopped her as I pushed my way in and locked it behind me.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Emily shrieked slightly panicked.

Oops, fuck… I forgot that I was wearing a mask. I lifted it off to reveal my identity. Emily gasped loudly.

"Oh my God Naomi." She said as she threw herself at me and wrapped me in a crushing hug. "What… how…"

I smirked.

"I wasn't gonna miss your birthday… what kind of girlfriend would I be if I did that?"

"Mum, she's…"

"I know babe… that's why I've got the mask." I chuckled.

I pushed her back slightly to get a better look at her outfit. I looked back at Ems with a cocked eyebrow.

"You like?" She asked looking at me seductively.

The only reply I could manage was a groan as I nodded my head slowly… I don't know what happened exactly but some kind of basic animal instinct took over. I pushed her up against the side wall of the cubicle and lifted her up. I think she had the same idea running through her mind because she immediately wrapped her legs around my waist to hold herself up. She placed both hands on either side of my face and crashed her lips onto mine, giving me a passionate kiss. I had one arm wrapped around her waist with my free hand running over her thigh…

"We don't have long." Emily whispered as she reconnected our lips.

Emily grabbed my hand and slipped it into her knickers. She let out a whimper when she felt me inside of her. As I started the movement she raised her right arm and clung to the wall behind and above her head to help lift herself up and bring herself back down again. She broke the kiss breathing heavily as I sped up so I directed my kisses to her neck. She placed her free hand at the back of my head and ran her fingers through my hair as I grinded her up and down against the wall…

"Fuck…" She groaned as I went harder.

I had to hurry this up because the wall was shaking with every thrust and Ems was getting quite loud with the way I was shagging her and the last thing I wanted was her mum walking in and hear us going at it so I picked up the pace…

"Ohh Naoms…."

She gasped loudly every time I thrust upwards before she took a handful of my hair...

"Ohhhh…"

She took in a few massive breaths before I felt her body tense up and her legs squeeze me tight as the orgasm wrecked havoc. I had stopped the movement of my hand but she kept rocking her hips, riding the waves of pleasure that coursed throughout her…

"Nao…" She trailed off. "Ohhhh fuck… don't… Ohhh… keep going." She begged.

She placed her arms around me trying to push her self closer into me. My back was starting to hurt so I kicked the toilet seat down and sat on top with Ems still attached to me. She unwrapped her legs and took a straddling position and immediately started to grind herself against me, rocking her hips wildly as she leaned down and kissed me roughly. It didn't take long for her… She arched her back and thank God my arm was wrapped around her because I reckon she would have fallen off. She threw her head back like she was howling at the moon and cried out as she came for the second time. Her body shook violently as her hips still rocked, but in such a way that I knew she was done, completely spent. She regained her composure after a couple of minutes…

"Mmmm…." She moaned satisfied, placing a peck upon my lips.

"Happy Birthday." I grinned. "Oh hey, I got these for you."

I reached into the inside of my jacket and pulled out the roses. As I looked towards my hand, I couldn't hold back a laugh. They were completely squashed and falling apart.

"Sorry... I know there um, fucked and it's not much." I said as I chuckled.

Emily gently took them from my hand and gave me a tender kiss. I was kind of confused by the way she was looking at me. She looked so happy, sort of like I had just handed her a set of keys to a brand new car. That's the best way I can describe it…

(Bloody hell, if she reacts like this over a few trashed roses, how she going to be when she see's the gift I left at her house…)

"It's the thought that counts." She whispered lovingly as she kissed me again.

"Emily?"

I went to burst out in hysterical laughter because the timing was just fucking perfect. Me and Ems were having a little moment, ya know… Luckily though, Emily slapped her hand over my mouth to muffle any sounds.

"Hang on a sec…" Emily replied.

Ems jumped off my lap and tried to quickly reconnect the straps that had come loose on her stockings. The door of the cubicle rattled as Jenna tried the door. I wasn't going to hang around.

(FUCK.)

I looked around frantically trying to find an escape route. Over or under? There was no way I was getting down on the floor of a public toilet. No fucking way… Over it is. I carefully lifted myself up and looked towards my left at where the basins and mirrors were. Jenna was still facing the door so she wouldn't see me. I raised myself higher and swung over the cubicle wall and waited in there patiently… I was extremely nervous as you could imagine but at least there was a toilet nearby, incase Jenna discovered me and I accidentally shit myself with fucking fright…

"Emily, you better not be on the phone to THAT girl…"

I heard Emily flush the toilet, open the door and walk out of the stall. Ems didn't reply but knowing her she probably rolled her eyes at her mother.

"Are you okay hun? You look like you're burning up?"

I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from giggling.

"I'm okay mum; I think I had a little too much to drink… I'm all better now though."

She emphasised that last bit… She made sure I heard it.

"Okay, well wash up and come back out love… It is you're party after all."

I heard the tap turn on as Ems washed her hands and left the bathroom with her mother. I hung back for a bit to make sure that Jenna was as far away from the door as possible before I went back out there. While I waited I pulled out some powder and had a toot. I was going to polish it all off but as the drugs started to sweep throughout my body an idea popped into my head so I decided to save some… I got out of the stall, cleaned myself up and exited the toilets. As soon as I went through the doorway I was dragged almost violently away, into a corner of the club and completely out of view. After I was slammed and pinned against a wall, I looked to see who my attacker was.

"Fuck, that was close babe…" Emily said as she kissed me sensually.

She looked down and ripped some material off of her costume and turned it into a bandana, placing it over my head and tying it up to hide my hair.

(Duh, why didn't I think of that?)

"You might want to put your mask back on too by the way…" She said as she lowered it over my face.

(Oh fuck… I completely forgot.)

"Come on… let's dance." She said as she grabbed my hand.

The last song finished with a new one starting as we hit the dance floor. We both knew the song; in fact Emily loved dancing to it. I gulped as she looked at me seductively while she started to grind against me… She leaned in and whispered 'don't move'…

.

_**I think I saw your body 'fore I saw your face,**_

_**The kinda moves you made where rockin' up the place,**_

_**Then your favourite song came on, the one you love,**_

_**You came over to me, looked in my eyes and said for sure,**_

_**.**_

_**You had your hands all over my body tonight,**_

_**You didn't care about respectability,**_

_**People staring 'cause you really made a scene,**_

_**It must of looked liked we were doin' it for real. **_

_**You said,**_

_**.**_

_**Where I come from, we don't play around,**_

_**And when it's time to party, we know how to get down,**_

_**And where were goin' baby, you don't have to worry 'bout a thing,**_

_**Take my hand, move your body up and down,**_

_**And push up,**_

_**Your body, your body next to mine**_

_**Push up…**_

_**.**_

I think in this case I won't have to describe how Emily was dancing with me. I think the line 'it must of looked like we were doin' it for real' is enough to explain everything. Fuck, if you have ever seen the clip to this song, the chick in the video is an excellent dancer but has nothing on my Emily. Christ… Actually if you want an idea of how Emily was dancing, check the clip out… when the chick is wearing a pink top and black shorts and dancing with a tree, that's kinda um, how Ems was dancing with me, but what Ems was doing would be WAY too hot for T.V. Fucking hell… Out of nowhere Katie stormed over and dragged Emily off of me.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"What?" Emily asked stunned.

Katie looked towards me and back to Emily.

"You're practically fucking her in front of everyone… Fuck sake Emily, you want mum to know she's here?"

I think Ems went to ask 'how do you know?' but she noticed the rose I had given her. Katie had put it in her hair. It looked alright to; it kind of matched her gothic outfit… Emily didn't reply.

"Pull up yeah." Katie added.

Emily nodded in agreement… I was shattered. Ems got me all worked up. FUCK… Katie went back through the crowd and disappeared.

"Babe, I think we better cool off for a bit." Emily stated.

"Do we have to?" I whined.

The drugs had taken over any fear I was feeling earlier. It didn't bother me anymore that Jenna was around. The MDMA gave me a false confidence. Emily looked towards me in a regretful way. She didn't want to say yes...

"Okay." I sighed. "I'll see you after." I said depressingly.

(FUCKING JENNA)

We both stared at each other for what seemed like ages, neither of us wanting to make the first move. Well, that was until I saw Jenna making her way over towards Emily. I turned and walked off to the left and went towards the bar. I leaned my elbow on it and looked over. Jenna was still none the wiser. I could tell by the way she was talking to Ems… I wasn't really worried about me, I was worried about Emily and the fact that it's her birthday, ya know. She has just as much right as anyone to enjoy it. I called over the bartender and ordered myself an Ouzo and coke. I watched as Jenna went back over towards her seat, her relatives no longer there… I didn't notice before but she was dressed as a witch.

(Hahaha see… La Strega. It suits her personality, good choice.)

As I said earlier, I was feeling mischievous so I ordered a glass of champagne as well. I know I sooo shouldn't do this but hey, the bitch needs to loosen up a bit. I sprinkled some MDMA into the champagne and put some in my own drink. I pretty much sculled it down and then I made my way over towards Jenna and took a seat across from her.

(Fucking hell, she even rode here on her broom stick.)

By the way I was dressed and with the mask on, I didn't resemble 'Naomi' at all. Not even by my voice. The mask muffled it.

"What's a lovely lady doing sitting over here all on her own?"

Her cheeks slightly blushed as she let out a little giggle. To be honest I expected her to maybe slap me or tell me to get fucked.

"Can I offer you a drink?" I asked as I held the champagne glass towards her.

"Thank you… that's very kind of you." She replied taking the glass and having a sip.

Her eyes went wide as she tasted it.

"That's my favourite, how did you know?"

"Lucky guess." I shrugged.

Actually to be honest, she was drinking it with dinner both times I had been invited… I extended my hand and shook hers.

"I'm ah, I'm… Jason."

"Jenna." She replied.

She obviously has never seen Friday The 13th.

"Aren't you Emily's and Katie's mother?" I asked.

She nodded as she took another sip from her drink.

"How do you know my two girls? She asked curiously.

"Um, just from school… but I don't go anymore."

"Why is that?" She asked.

"I was kicked out…" I replied.

I knew she didn't know any of that so it was safe to 'discuss'. She extended her hand and patted my arm gently.

"Not to worry love, it's not the end of the world. You're still young."

"I know." I replied.

"What did you say you're name was?"

"Ah Jason…"

"Isn't that a boy's name?"

"Yeah, my names actually…"

(FUCK… Um…)

"Ehh Jasanne, but people just call me Jason."

"Oh." She said cheerily. "That's a lovely name… Jasanne."

I turned to look around and Katie was hurriedly making her way over towards me.

(SHIT.)

"Katiekins… I've just meet your friend Jason, how come you've never mentioned her before? She's lovely."

Katie grabbed my arm and yanked me up and towards her.

"Um, nice meeting you Jenna." I said as Katie dragged me away, hurriedly.

I almost started to laugh because I could see the drugs starting to affect her and of course by the look on Katie's face. She was PISSED OFF, badly due the fact that I was talking to Jenna, but everything looked hilarious too me at the moment. We passed Emily who looked at Katie and I, completely panicked, not sure at what was happening. Katie dragged me into the toilets and threw me up against the full length mirror, a little on the outraged side. Emily came crashing through the door only seconds later…

"What the hells going on?" Emily asked as she looked at me and then to her sister.

Katie ignored her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Katie yelled.

She came closer to me and ripped my mask off and glared at me while I was laughing hysterically.

"Naomi…" Emily said.

Katie threw the mask at me with it falling to the floor.

"I should have known." She said. "You're off you're fucking tits."

She turned to face Emily.

"She was talking to mum…"

She turned back to me.

"I told you to stay out of sight for fucks sake… It's our fucking Birthday Naomi… If she found out it were you under there…fucking hell. Fucking mental lezza bitch…"

"Katie…" Emily interrupted.

"What Ems? She's gonna…" She stopped herself. "Fuck it yeah… whatever." Katie replied brushing past her sister and leaving the bathroom.

Emily just stood there looking towards me in total confusion. She became unstuck and walked towards me. She looked disappointed…

"Ems, she didn't know it was me yeah… It's fine." I said.

Emily frowned.

"I don't care about that…"

"Then why are you looking at me like that then?" I asked.

"Is this what's going to happen Naoms, now that you don't have school anymore? Be off your face all the time?"

"No… it's a party Ems… I'm partying, ya know."

She didn't say anything.

"Emily… I haven't been doing this shit since we started going out. What's the problem?"

"The problem is… I don't want you to end up worse then before okay… I do care what becomes of you, you know."

"I know that Ems… trust me yeah, nothing to worry about."

She kept looking at me worriedly.

"If it makes you feel better, I promise I won't touch it ever again. Deal?"

No answer.

"Babe, you're acting like I do this all the time…"

Silence.

"Don't you believe me?"

"I don't know…" She replied.

"Ems, have I ever broken a promise to you before? Wait… I'll answer that for you. NO…"

She sighed heavily.

"Yeah okay, I'm sorry… I just worry about you that's all."

"And I worry about you too yeah… so come on… let's get back to the party…" I grinned.

I went to walk but Ems stopped me.

"Naoms… you're mask."

"Oh yeah… thanks." I said.

I picked it up, kissed Emily on the cheek, put the mask on and went back out to where it was all happening… and by 'happening' I mean HAPPENING… Fuck me… Jenna was on the table with her fucking broom stick, dancing like a lunatic… The DJ had chucked on an old song and she was going crazy. Emily followed me out and stood beside me. She clung to my arm as she gasped loudly in shock from what she was seeing… Everyone was cheering Jenna on as she sung and danced to the song being played. I had to lift my mask to get a better look. She seemed to be missing a few items of clothing…

_**You took a mystery and made me want it  
>You got a pedestal and put me on it<br>You made me love you out of feeling nothing  
>Something that you do<br>And I was there and not dancing with anyone  
>You took a little, then you took me over<br>You set your mark on stealing my heart away  
>Crying, trying, anything for you <strong>_

_**.**_

_**I'm in the middle of a chain reaction  
>You give me all the after midnight action<br>I wanna get you where I can let you make all that love to me**_

_**.**_

_**I'm on a journey for the inspiration**_

_**To anywhere and there ain't no salvation**__**  
>I need you to get me nearer to you<strong>_

_**So you can set me free…**_

_**.**_

(She's in the middle of a 'CHAIN REACTION' all right… Fuck me.)

Katie was laughing her arse off but at the same time trying to get her mum down but Jenna kept flicking her hand away as she continued to smile and sing. I turned to Ems with the cheekiest looking grin and she immediately knew what was going through my mind. She tried to stop me but she wasn't quick enough. I put my mask back on as I ran over to Jenna and jumped up onto the table… The crowd erupted… I started copying Jenna's dance moves… I had too because the style was well and truly before my time… Jenna was loving it… She lost all control and started dancing a little too close to me and it was in a sexy way and yeah, I'll be honest, I was egging her on a bit. Haha paybacks a bitch… She'll be so embarrassed tomorrow morning. Fuck, too bad she couldn't be like this for real though, we'd get along fine… Plus the moves she was pulling bloody hell, she's definitely not as homophobic as I thought… Oh hang on; I better clear that up… I mean too bad she couldn't be more carefree and less of a bitch. There's only one Fitch woman for me and that's Emily. We clear? Yes? Good…

Jenna was acting like she was on stage, a stage she fucking owned… as much as I don't like her, she was doing a good job… I was kind of shocked. Even more so when Emily dragged me down off the table and slapped me at the back of the head with Katie finally getting her mum down.

"Ahhh fuck, whatcha do that for?"

"Are you serious? Oh my God Naomi, my mum was grinding you and, and you fucking let her…" Emily shrieked.

"Ems it's your mum… fuck."

"Yes it is and don't you fucking forget it… And don't think I didn't see you." She replied.

"Huh?"

She slapped me again.

"You spiked her drink, you prick."

"Yeah well she's got a stick up her arse 24/7 ya know… thought it might loosen her up a bit." I chuckled.

Emily punched me in the arm.

"Ahhh fuck sake… what was that one for."

"Because I felt like it." She replied quickly.

She turned away and went to walk off but I grabbed her wrist and forcefully pulled her back and into me. I lifted my mask and backed her into the wall at the back of the club. I stared at her intensely. I couldn't help it. When Emily is feisty, it's an automatic turn on… I leaned in and stopped short. Emily's eyes were burning into mine, her breathing slightly ragged. I closed the gap and claimed her lips with her wrapping her arms around my neck immediately, running her fingers through my hair after she had ripped the bandana from my head… My hands were running all over her body and when I brought my right hand down and placed it between her thighs, softly rubbing her, she pulled back and stopped the movement of my hand.

"We can't do this here…" She panted.

"Come to my place."

"Fuck… I can't…" She groaned.

I sighed heavily and nodded.

"I'm sorry hun, I want to… believe me I want to… but mum…"

I cut her off.

"I know babe, its okay."

She leaned in and kissed me tenderly.

"I'm sorry…"

"Ems, it's fine yeah… I understand…" I replied gently.

I paused.

"Listen, I better go…"

Emily looked at me hurt and disappointed.

"If I stay… I won't be able to keep my hands off of you." I whispered before I kissed her again. "Happy Birthday babe… I love you."

I went to turn away but Ems grabbed me by the front of my jacket. She noticed I was agitated. Not because of her, it was because our relationship had restrictions because of Jenna… it was starting to get to me.

"Go straight home okay." She said with her eyebrow cocked.

I looked at her confused.

"Don't do anything stupid… go straight home."

I smiled at her.

"Of course." I replied.

She didn't let me go.

"I promise Ems… straight home, no trouble."

"No picking up randoms either." She said.

She was only joking.

"No way babe… I'm saving it for you." I said throwing her a wink.

I pecked her on the lips, pulled back and decided to give her a proper one before I left. It took another 10 minutes before I actually did go. We weren't worried about Jenna obviously. I knew where she was; by the bar with Katie drinking water… I said goodbye to Ems and made my way home, wishing that she was with me…

_**TBC…**_

**Thanks for reading guys and please review. Take care :)**

**Lyrics in this chapter:**

**Push Up – Freestylers**

**Chain Reaction – Diana Ross**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Lives We Lead**

**Part V**

**Hey guys, hope you are all well. I want to apologise to you for not updating in a while. Life's been a little more hectic than usual. I'm hoping to get back in the swing of things. Once again a HUGE thank you to all the lovely comments and as I've said previously I greatly appreciate every single one. Thank you to those who have subscribed etc. and all those who are just simply reading. LOVE you all ;)**

**Oh and before I forget a very special thank you to two people, they know who they are. You two are awesome yeah. Don't ever forget it and if you do, I have no problem with reminding you…**

**Okay, that's enough out of me for now. Hope you enjoy the new chapter.**

**.**

"Hey babe." I said.

I leaned in and gave her a passionate kiss before she even had a chance to step inside the house. I know I saw her last night at the club, but I missed her... When I pulled back, Emily's cheeks were flushed and she was looking at me completely stunned.

"What?" I chuckled.

She bit her bottom lip seductively and reached out, grabbing my jacket and pulling me in closer to her. Once I was in reach she stood up on her toes and pressed her lips against mine. I may have stunned her with my welcome but the way she kissed me, I almost fell to the floor as my legs turned to jelly. I was struggling to stay upright. When several moments had passed, we both pulled away completely breathless…

"Hey." She smiled with a twinkle in her eye.

All I could do was stare back at her. She chuckled at my reaction.

"So… are you going to invite me in?" She asked with a smirk.

"Ahhh, eh YEAH, yeah sorry." I replied.

I moved to the side and let her inside the house, shaking my head in an attempt to get myself out of the daze Emily had just put me in. As she stepped inside, I looked her up and down, expecting her to be wearing the gift I had gotten her for her birthday.

"Why aren't you wearing you're present?" I asked with a cocked eyebrow. "Don't you like it?"

I was only teasing but Emily went into panic mode.

"No, I mean yes of course, I, I love it… I brought it with me." She replied holding up a bag.

I couldn't help but laugh, her reaction was adorable. She walked into the lounge room and sat on the couch. I closed up and made my way over to her. Emily seemed to be a million miles away, deep in thought.

"Ems, you okay?"

She sighed heavily and slowly turned to face me.

"Naoms, you shouldn't have spent that much… It's a lot of money. I would have been happy with the roses you gave me."

I sat down beside her and kissed her tenderly. We went through all this over the phone last night. She called me up when she had gotten home bawling her eyes out. It took a good 10 minutes for her to calm down enough for me to even understand what the hell she was trying to say. I was trying not to laugh because I could hear Katie calling me a 'mental bitch' in the background but with a couple of 'Thank You's' thrown in there also. I'm guessing she appreciated the money in the card. Emily was saying through her broken sobs 'Oh my God Naoms, I can't take this, it's too much… I love it… Thank you… but no I can't accept it' etc… She was happy and shocked at the same time.

"You're worth it." I replied in between kisses.

She pushed me back slightly so she could get a better look at me.

"I'm serious babe; I don't want you spending that kind of money on me…"

"If you don't want it Ems, I'll take it back." I replied.

She sighed.

"Of course I want it Naomi… I'm just saying… don't think that I care about material things okay… As long as you're with me I don't care about anything else…"

"But I don't think that… I knew you liked it so I wanted to get it for you, that's all." I replied.

She didn't respond.

"Next year I'll buy you a pair of socks if it'll make you happy." I finished off.

Emily looked as if she was analysing me for a moment to make sure what she had said sunk in. She smiled warmly and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"Roses would be fine… I'm sure my mums rose bush should be grown by then." She chuckled. "Hey… you want me to put them on?" She asked.

I gazed at her in confusion.

"What? The roses?" I asked quickly.

She rolled her eyes.

"No Naomi, the jeans and the hat…"

"Oh yeah… yeah course." I replied distracted.

I was picturing Emily lying on my bed in a very sexy pose with roses sprinkled all over her, um naked body.

"Okay, wait here for 5 minutes and then come up to your room."

I nodded. Ems was looking at me intensely before she picked up the bag and walked up the stairs. It made me a little nervous for some reason. I grabbed my packet of smokes from the kitchen and decided to have a fag while I waited. To be honest, I couldn't wait to see her in those jeans… I butted out the smoke, opened a can of coke, took a swig and made my way up the stairs. I knocked on the door to make sure I hadn't jumped the gun. There was no answer.

"Ems, are you ready?" I asked.

Still nothing. It got me curious so I opened the door. I stepped inside and nearly died on the spot. Fuck-ing hell… I was not expecting what my eyes were currently seeing. The first thing that came to mind was…

"Where the fuck are your jeans?"

She smirked rather sexily at me. I couldn't move, I kept blinking and I couldn't talk. I kind of felt faint. Oh my God… Sorry, I know you are all just waiting to hear what's going on. Emily is sitting on the edge of my bed with her legs crossed. She is wearing the trilby hat slanted forward and tilted to the right side of her head and she is also wearing her 'come fuck-me boots'. That's it. Nothing else…

Emily stood up and swung her hips as she made her way towards me, my eyes, no doubt popping out of my head. She walked past me and closed the door and locked it. My head followed every movement she made. Emily stood behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist and slipping her hands underneath my shirt, stroking my stomach. I could feel her breasts pushed up against my back…

"You like the hat?" She whispered seductively into my ear.

"Ahh… um… ehh"

She chuckled at my inability to form a sentence. She came around to the front of me and dragged me by my shirt and placed me on a chair. I had this overwhelming feeling to reach out and touch her but when I tried she slapped my hand away. Somehow, I had noticed that Ems had brought her CD player with her, don't ask me how because I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I kept licking my bottom lip and when I wasn't doing that I was biting into it.

"Naomi."

I just kept staring at her. My eyes were covering every inch of her body. They ran up her legs, to her thighs, over her um ya know… along her stomach and up to her breasts. I caught her eye for a few moments and descended my eyes back down again. I was breathing heavily. My whole body was on fire. Emily moved closer and placed her hand under my chin to lift my gaze. I jumped in fright. I knew she was there but when she touched me it brought me back to reality…

"Naomi… pay attention."

I nodded while my mouth was watering from the sight that was in front of me. She stepped over towards the CD player and pressed play. My eyes wandered down and back over her body. As the song started to play, Emily swayed her hips to the music. She placed one hand on top of the hat as she did it. I wiped my mouth because I had forgotten to swallow. My heart was banging against my rib cage uncontrollably. She came over to me while the guitar riff played through the speakers and roughly widened my legs with one of her own. She stood in between and circled her hips until she was facing the opposite direction. She bent her knees and swayed her arse from side to side. I couldn't help myself. I reached up and placed my hands on her hips as she swayed. My hands were only there for a moment. Emily immediately grabbed me by my wrists and removed my hands. She turned slightly to face me and gave me a warning look. I got the message, 'Don't Touch'. Just as the bass kicked in, she spun around and straddled my left thigh but she was careful not to let a certain part of her body come into contact with me. She placed her hands on my shoulders and started to rock her hips in such a way, an involuntary groan escaped my lips.

(FUCK ME.)

She leaned in, teasing me… kissing and nipping my neck. I could smell her perfume, the one that I loved her wearing. Hypnotic Poison… it's a warm wintery smell. It has a hint of vanilla in it… It is a very sensual perfume… Whenever she wears it, Christ… I just want, need to taste her… Actually if I'm truthful, I always want to do that anyway, regardless if she's wearing the perfume or not.

.

_**Oooh I can't wait to get next you**_

_**Ohhh I just can't leave you alone**_

_**Girl you got me doing things that I would never do**_

_**And I can't stop the way I'm feelin' if I wanted to **_

_**I'm crazy 'bout the way that you could make me say your name**_

_**And if I couldn't have you I would probably go insane**_

_**'Cause…**_

.

She was singing the lyrics to me in a low and husky voice as she stood up and swayed her hips in front of me for a few moments. She pushed her leg right up against me as she continued to sway her hips from side to side, going up and bringing them back down again. Due to the friction and the level of my excitement, I almost came when she did it. She changed her position and straddled my legs, both of my thighs in between hers as she grinded herself against me, still keeping certain parts of her body away from me…

.

_**Only you can make me feel (only you can make me feel)**_

_**And only you can take me there (only you can take me there)**_

_**And only you can make me feel (only you, only you can make me feel)**_

_**And only you can take me there (only you can take me there)…**_

.

Emily stood back and kneeled herself down in between my legs placing her head where without a doubt, a river was flowing. She placed her hands on my thighs to help lift herself up as she slid her body upwards against mine, and when her head came up to my level I just needed to feel her lips, but she wasn't having it… Emily spun around with her back facing me and straddled my right thigh, swaying and rocking her hips as she continued to sing…

.

_**Oooh I can't wait to get next to you**_

_**Ohhh I just can't leave you alone**_

_**Girl you stay inside my mind ain't no denyin' that**_

_**And only you could do them things that got me comin' back **_

_**This gotta be the realest thing that I have ever felt**_

_**And I'll do what I gotta do to keep you to myself**_

'_**Cause…**_

.

I couldn't take it anymore. I wrapped my arms around her… I was disappointed when she grabbed my hands and held onto them… I was getting frustrated. Oh God, the way she was singing the 'oooh and ohhh' of the song… Fucking hell, she was driving me crazy. She was making me feel dizzy every time she sang that part of the song. She moved her hips as she sung it and tilted her head upwards like she would do when I was doing certain things to her… FUCK, the sensations coursing through my body was making it hard for me to stay conscious. That's how fucking intense it was.

.

_**Only you can make me feel (only you can make me feel)**_

_**And only you can take me there (only you can take me there)**_

_**And only you can make me feel (only you, only you can make me feel)**_

_**And only you can take me there (only you can take me there)…**_

.

I lifted my thigh as she brought her hips back down. It caught her off guard. The texture of my jeans and the friction it caused, a gasp followed by a moan escaped her lips. I could see right at that very moment that she had lost all discipline. She was no longer dancing although she was still rocking her hips… I felt her dig herself into my thigh and her grip loosen around my hands. I took the opportunity and instantly wrapped my arms around her and lifted her up and put her on the bed because what I was about to do to her required a cushioned surface.

I took her hat off, but I left her boots on. I lowered myself on top of her, placing myself between her legs. I crashed my lips onto hers, urgently. Emily pushed her hips into me and started to grind as soon as she felt contact. I moved away and left her frantically trying to find my hand. I figured that I'd tease her for a bit. See if she likes it. It didn't last long. After a few moments she found what she was looking for and roughly placed my hand in between her thighs, practically forcing me to enter her. She broke the kiss when she felt me inside to let out a moan followed by a shaky breath as I thrust in and out. I got myself into a more comfortable position and used my hips to guide my hand. She wrapped her arm around my neck, bringing me down and kissed me roughly… I went harder, faster and deeper causing Emily to cry out, gasping for air… My bed head slamming against the wall with every thrust.

"Ohhhh…" She gasped.

She flipped us over. She wanted to take control. She grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me up so I was in a sitting position as she ran her fingers through my hair. She was rocking her hips wildly as she clutched at my shirt. The best way to describe it… it was like she was riding a mechanical bull.

"Ohhh Naomi…" She growled as she threw her head back.

She looked back down at me and kissed me ferociously. She broke away and let out a LOUD guttural groan, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as she rocked her hips, rhythmically…

"Naomi, are you in there?"

"FUCK OFF MUM." I yelled. "FUCK SAKE."

Emily couldn't stop even if she tried. My mum heard Emily's moans.

"Oh sorry love…"

I shivered slightly in disgust upon hearing my mother's voice. Thank God it was me giving it to Ems because if it was the other way around, I don't think I'd be able to have sex EVER again… I honestly don't think Emily even heard any of that. Her mind was elsewhere. I snapped my thoughts back to my girlfriend as she let out another moan… She started to gasp loudly. She placed her hands on my shoulders and dug her nails into me as the orgasm was about to explode… She arched her back and cried out my name as she tensed up and a massive wave of pleasure swept throughout her entire body. She trembled terribly with her hips every now and then twitching as she came back down, panting as if she had just done a 400 meter sprint… She looked back down at me and groaned just before she kissed me open mouthed. I gently flipped us back over and pulled away from the kiss completely breathless…

"Oh my God Naomi… that wasn't meant to happen." She panted.

I was confused.

"Huh?"

"I was supposed to be doing that to you." She replied breathless.

Ohhh… I get it. It was 'spose to be a 'thank you for my gift'. She covered that anyway… That lap dance was pretty fucking hot.

I chuckled. I leaned down and gave her a passionate kiss. She pulled back slightly with her eyes burning into mine. She lifted a hand and brushed my hair away from my face and then softly stroked my cheek.

"I love you, you know that don't you?" She said tenderly.

I smiled warmly as I looked down towards her.

"Yeah, I know babe."

I started to become worried by the way she was staring at me. Why was she asking me if I knew she loved me or not?... She was still breathing heavily. Her eyes had started to become watery. I lone tear escaped her left eye and slid down the side of her face towards her ear as she looked back up at me. She gently took my hand and placed it over her left breast. She held it there for a moment before she spoke.

"That's what you do to me." She whispered.

I nodded slowly. Her heart was pounding within her chest, beating a million miles an hour. I looked down at her in total confusion. She was scaring me… she noticed. She lifted her head slightly and brought her lips to mine, giving me a slow and sensual kiss. She pulled back only slightly.

"I just needed you to know that." She said before she reconnected the kiss.

We both pulled away and I propped myself up on my elbow, running my hand slowly down her body causing her to tremble slightly as I continued to stare into her eyes. I could never tire of it. I would never get sick of seeing Emily's reaction when I touched her and the way she would look at me while we made love. I dunno how to describe it… I'm not the religious type but the first word that pops into my head is 'heavenly'. As I entered her again she clutch at my shoulders with her eyes burning into mine… This time round though… I was going to love her painfully slow… I leaned down and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>I was waiting at the front gates of my former school for Ems. I heard the bell go for the end of classes but I knew Emily had to speak to a teacher before she left for the day. I sparked up a fag and patiently waited, leaning up against the gate and watching the passing traffic in the street.<p>

"Hey babe."

I flicked the cigarette into the gutter and immediately spun around upon hearing the familiar and if I must say, sexy voice of my girlfriend.

"Hey, how was school?" I replied, pecking Emily on the cheek.

"Oh you know… same as usual."

I chuckled.

"Hey, what did the teacher say?"

"I got an A." She replied excitedly.

She was stressing out about it an assignment she had handed in a couple weeks ago. It was for psychology, not that it matters because she aced every subject she had. I don't know why she was freaking out to be honest.

"OH MY GOD… I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT."

I snapped my head around into the direction of the voice. She ran towards me at full speed and jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. It had happened so quick I had no choice but to catch her. She crashed her lips onto mine.

"Naomi… I… fuck… babe…" She stammered.

"Angel, what the fuck are you doing here?" I asked shocked.

She let me go and stood in front of me and gave me a crushing hug.

"Fuck I've missed you yeah…"

"When did you get out?" I asked still completely fucking stunned.

"About a month ago… Dad moved us here… Like my uniform." She said with a wink.

I saw Emily start to walk off slowly. I grabbed her wrist and looked at her as if to say 'don't do that'.

"Angel, this is Emily… Emily, Angel."

"Nice to meet ya babes." Angel replied.

"Um yeah, same." Emily said softly.

"ANGEL… FUCKIN' HURRY UP YEAH."

I turned to face the familiar voice. It was Angel's brother Darren.

"Still an impatient prick I see." I chuckled.

Angel rolled her eyes.

"That'll never fucking change… look babes, I better go…"

She pulled out a pen and wrote her number down on a piece of paper she had pulled out of her school bag. She passed it to me and quickly pecked me on the lips.

"Call me yeah… we've got heaps of catching up to do." She grinned as she walked off. "Emily, see ya round." She smiled.

Darren noticed me and waved. I stuck my finger up at him.

"Fuck you too." He laughed.

I turned back around to where Emily was standing. She wasn't there. I looked up the road and she was already several yards away. I jogged up beside her to pull her up.

"Ems, what…"

She cut me off.

"That's her isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The one you always go back to..." She replied.

I sighed heavily. How the fuck does she even remember me saying that? I mentioned my 'kind of' girlfriend the day I first met Emily.

"Yes, that's her… but Ems you don't need to worry about…"

She cut me off.

"Are…"

She trailed off and pursed her lips slightly before she spoke again.

"Are you going to call her?"

"Yeah maybe, I mean I haven't seen her for almost two years."

Emily just nodded her head slowly as she analysed my face.

"Okay." She said huskily as she continued to walk.

"I thought you were coming to mine?" I said as she walked in the wrong direction.

She stopped and turned to face me.

"I need to go home… I'll call you tonight. She replied, turning back around and continued on her way.

"But…"

I trailed off because there was no use. She needed her space. I'll just wait 'til she calls me.

(What the hell just happened?)

* * *

><p><em><strong>Knock Knock<strong>_

I opened the front door and my excitement level hit rock bottom. It wasn't Emily. She hasn't spoken to me for the last three days. I've waited out the front of school for her and everything. Each time she sees me, she stops dead in her tracks and just looks at me for a few moments. When I try and get closer to her she casts her gaze down to the ground and walks away. I haven't been able to sleep I'm so stressed out. I am sick and fucking tired of everyone assuming the worst of me without even hearing me out. I can't believe after everything Ems just… FUCK IT. I can't even think about it. It makes me feel nauseous. I haven't been able to fucking eat and when I do, I can't hold it down. I haven't done anything wrong for her to completely shut me out. Not fucking once since we've known each other… Her major issue is me screwing around. Okay, I understand all that but fuck me… I waited fucking months for her until she was ready. I fucking love her to death. I've even allowed myself to be abused by her mother for fucks sake. What the fuck can I do to convince her that she can trust me?

(Calm down Naoms.)

"Hey Angel." I said flatly.

"Oh geez Naomi… I thought you would have been a little more excited to see me?" She replied sarcastically.

"I am…" I paused for a moment. "How do you know where I live?" I frowned.

"Oh that's easy babes… some chick from school, um Amanda I think her name was…"

I rolled my eyes. Typical.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" She asked.

"Yeah sorry…" I said as I moved to the side and closed the door.

I walked her into the kitchen. She took a seat as I offered her a coffee.

"Thanks… 2 sugars." She smiled.

I popped the kettle on and prepared the hot drink. I walked over and placed the mug in front of her.

"Allowed to smoke in here?"

I nodded. She lit it up and exhaled loudly. I took a seat beside her and passed her the ashtray. I observed her for a few moments. She looked exactly how I remembered her. She was brunette with hazel eyes, only a fraction shorter than me, full figured and just as pretty if not more then when I last saw her. The only difference is that she looked more 'womanly'. Just by looking at her I could see that she hadn't changed on the inside, she still had that mischievous sparkle in her eye…

"So babes, what's been happening with you?"

"Nothing much really… been keeping out of trouble." I replied dryly.

She looked at me in complete and utter shock.

"What?" I asked.

"You? Keeping out the trouble?"

"Yeah…"

She looked me up and down, studying me for a moment.

"You're different." She said. "What's that about?"

I shrugged not really interested in small chit chat. I had bigger issues on my mind... She continued to stare.

"It's a girl isn't it?"

I didn't reply. She cocked her eyebrow.

"I know I'm right and you want to know why?" She said as she leaned in closer.

"Not really but I'm sure you're going to tell me." I replied.

She smirked.

"Because the old you would be in the middle of fucking me right now."

She had a point.

"Yeah I spose..." I replied uninterested.

She beamed from ear to ear.

"Fucking hell… I never thought I'd see the day you settled down."

I wasn't really in the mood for this shit. It didn't have anything to do with Angel it was just that I was worried about Emily. It was actually making me feel sick again, so I just gave short answers.

"What's her name?"

"Emily."

Her whole face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"The little red head?"

I nodded.

"She's fucking mint yeah… I wouldn't mind…"

"HEY." I interrupted seriously. "If you're gonna talk about her, be fucking respectful yeah."

"Fucking hell Naomi… I was only sayin' she's hot."

"YOU don't need to say it because I already fuck-ing know." I spat slightly agitated.

Angel paused for a moment.

"Yeah, okay… respectful, got it." She said giving me a thumbs up.

Angel was looking at me like she didn't know who I was. It was making me feel extremely uncomfortable. We've known each other since we were 13. I know I've said I don't really have friends, but she was the exception to the rule. We use to get into so much shit together it's not even fucking funny. I haven't seen her for a while because she was locked up, possession of a class B drug and handling stolen property. She got off pretty light, she was lucky.

"Babes, are you okay? You don't look to good."

"Yeah I'm fine… just, I dunno… restless nights."

She smiled warmly at me. She reached into her bra and pulled out a bag full of pills and placed them in front of me.

"Here hun…"

I shook my head. I didn't need or want the pills. I wanted Emily.

"Get the fuck out of here… Since when do you say no to roxie's?"

I shrugged.

"You're not very talkative are you Naomi?"

I took a deep breath as I looked down towards the pills. Angel reached over to grab the bag. I stopped her…

(Fuck it)

"Oh thank fuck for that… Thought I'd lost you there…" Angel breathed in relief.

"Naomi love, are you home?" My mum called out as she opened the front door.

I quickly grabbed the pills and shoved them into my pocket. My mum came into the kitchen and smiled. That smile soon faded when she saw Angel sitting at the table next to me.

"Hi Mrs. Campbell. Long time no see." Angel smirked.

"Hello Angel." My mum replied.

Mum turned her angered stare back towards me.

"Angel, can you give me and my daughter a minute please?"

(Here we go.)

She stood up but was unsure on where to go.

"Wait upstairs in my room yeah, second door on the right." I said.

We watched her leave the kitchen and waited to hear her open my bedroom door. My mum stormed over to me and slapped me right across the face. I was chewing on my lip when she did.

(Fucking Ouch)

"FUCK SAKE MUM… What the fuck is wrong with you?" I said as I felt blood trickle down my chin.

She completely ignored me.

"Where's Emily?"

I didn't answer because I didn't know. She glared at me furiously.

"How could you do this to her Naomi?"

"I haven't done anything." I replied defensively.

"What is SHE doing here then?" My mum spat as she pointed towards the roof.

"I dunno, I didn't fuck-ing invite her."

My mum sighed heavily.

"Naomi, I know what happens when you and Angel are together, I am NOT a fucking idiot… I'm very disappointed in you…"

I'm not sure why but I immediately became angered... Maybe outraged would be more accurate.

"BUTT OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE… JESUS FUCKING CHRIST."

I stood up that quick; my chair tipped over and crashed to the floor.

"NAOMI."

"FUCK OFF." I yelled.

I stormed up the stairs and locked my door. Angel was sitting at my desk with a smirk on her face.

"WHAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY?" I yelled.

"Relax yeah… Oh fuck, did you're mum pop you one?" She asked as her eyes came to rest on my lip.

"Piss off." I spat.

I pulled the pills out of my pocket and threw Angel off the chair and took her place. I crushed up three roxie's on my desk and snorted two massive lines.

"Time for you to leave..." I said.

She glared at me.

"Still a prick, aren't ya?"

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Why did you come here? If it's for a shag, ya ain't gettin' one." I shot out quickly.

I took a deep breath.

"Fuck it… look I gotta go okay. If you need somewhere to stay you can crash here tonight but you gotta leave in the morning, okay?"

I didn't wait for an answer. I burst through the door, leaving her in my bedroom. I ran down the stairs and slammed the front door and made my way to Emily.

* * *

><p>I tried to call her when I got to her house but after 5 tries and no answer, on the sixth call I got her voice mail. She obviously turned her phone off. The drugs had kicked in by this stage so I didn't really care about anything of course except for seeing Ems. I missed her… Fuck sake, doesn't she realise how much she means to me?<p>

(Relax Naoms.)

I shook it off and made my way up to the front of the house and knocked on the door. Jenna answered. She went to slam the door in my face but I had no time for her shit so I threw my body weight against it and gained entry into the house. I'm not sure where that burst of energy came from exactly because my eyes were barely opened due to the nature of the drugs I had taken earlier. They were of the depressant kind. They relaxed you… I ran up the stairs and burst through Emily's bedroom door. She was sitting on her bed with her knees up to her chest, staring at her phone. I closed the door behind me immediately and locked it. I turned back around to face Emily who was looking toward me as if she had just seen a ghost.

"Emily…"

She cut me off and squinted at me in anger.

"I know Naomi… Amanda told me."

I looked at her confused.

"Angel swung by your house after school." She added sarcastically.

(Fucking Amanda…)

She grabbed her phone and threw it in my direction with her full strength. It hit the door with a loud crack and dropped to the floor in two pieces. It had hit the door that hard the battery came off due to the impact. Emily looked a little shocked for a moment. I wasn't sure what to make of her expression. Did she have really good aim or did she miss her intended target? She stood up off the bed, stormed towards me and glared at me furiously, the shock she displayed a second ago, no longer present. She looked at the dried blood on my chin which reminded me of my cut lip.

"She do that, did she?" Emily spat out bitterly.

"No, my mum did it." I replied.

Emily wasn't as furious as I had previously thought. I saw her eyes well up with tears as she looked back at me completely distraught. I think she was trying to say something but her bottom lip was quivering terribly and she couldn't get it out.

"Emily please yeah… just fucking talk to me." I said frantically. "What's going on?"

She broke down completely, clutching at her chest.

"Don't do that…" I said panicked. "Talk to me, babe I'm fucking begging you right now… I'm going mental over this shit."

_**BANG BANG BANG**_

"EMILY… OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW." Jenna screamed.

Emily was standing in front of me crying her heart out. I had no fucking idea why and it made my chest ache to see her like that. Well, I knew it had something to do with Angel, I'm not that daft but I hadn't done anything wrong, ya know. Ems was acting like I had… I grabbed her upper arms and shook her slightly.

"Emily, fuck sake… talk to me. What's going on?" I said completely panicked.

It was no use…she couldn't speak. She was hysterical.

"EMILY." Jenna screamed once again.

"Back the fuck off mum." Katie yelled.

_**SLAP**_

The sound of Jenna's hand hitting Katie's cheek made me flinch, fucking hell… I heard footsteps stomp their way back down the stairs.

_**Knock Knock Knock**_

"Lezza, you better get the fuck out of here. Mum's calling the cops."

(Fucking bitch)

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK KATIE." I yelled through the closed door.

I turned my attention back to Emily.

"Ems, please… tell me what's wrong?" I pleaded.

"It…" She paused to intake some air. "It's… it's over."

I looked at her completely stunned. It felt like my world was completely crumbling around me. I felt weak and dizzy. I felt as if I was going to burst out into a shit loud of fucking tears… I shook it off.

"What have… what have I done?" I squeaked out.

I sounded like a mouse. It was fucking pathetic to be honest… Emily went to speak again but broke down completely in a wave of fresh tears.

"Why Emily? I said panicked.

She looked up towards me, shattered. Her beautiful big brown eyes filled with hurt. The twinkle they once had, extinguished. She opened her mouth to speak… her lip was still quivering.

"Angel." Was all she said.

"What about her?" I replied quickly.

Emily pushed me away from her. I tried to get closer but she wouldn't let me.

"Don't fucking touch me." She shrieked through her tears.

"Fucking answer me okay… What about Angel?" I yelled.

I didn't mean to scream at her but fuck ya know. I was under pressure.

"Everyone fucking knows Naomi… It's gone around the whole fucking school…"

I cut her off.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You just couldn't wait to shag her, could you?" She paused. "You made a fool of me Naomi after you promised you wouldn't."

"Who the fuck told you that? Fuck sake, I love YOU…"

She scoffed.

"Emily, Jesus fucking Christ… Who's been saying all this shit? Fuck-ing tell me yeah."

"Who the fuck do you think?" She yelled.

"I DON'T FUC…" I trailed off to calm myself. "I don't know."

She squinted towards me in anger, hurt, confusion and fucking devastation. To see her looking like that made me want to cry… To see her looking at ME like that, I wanted to just fuck-ing die.

"Amanda." She whispered.

_**BANG BANG**_

"Police, open up."

(FUCK)

Emily looked horrified. Although she was angry towards me, I know she still cared about me, still loved me… you can't just turn your feelings on and off at a flick of a switch ya know. I glanced around frantically, terrified. I almost done a run and dive through Emily's window but luckily remembered I was 2 storey's high. I sighed heavily as I looked towards Emily worriedly before I turned and opened the door and was immediately pounced on. Two officers slammed me up against Emily's bedroom wall, forcing my arms behind my back and hand cuffing me. They spun me around and it had turned into a family affair. Jenna, Katie and Emily were staring back at me, each of them displaying a different facial expression. Jenna looked triumphant, Katie looked shocked and Ems looked as if she was ready to pass out.

"Come on then love, off we go." The officer said as he escorted me out of the room.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked flatly.

"Down to the station."

"What for?"

"Trespassing."

I didn't reply. Katie ran in front of us and stopped the officer's.

"Excuse me, sir… She wasn't trespassing."

The officer stopped in his tracks and looked towards Katie questioningly.

"I mean, I invited her in." Katie added.

"That is a lie." Jenna spat as she glared at Katie.

The officer looked down towards me.

"Who are you to these people?"

"I… ah… I'm…"

Emily cut me off.

"She's my girlfriend." Emily answered for me as she walked in front of me and the officers and stood beside Katie.

Jenna looked towards Emily bearing her teeth. She didn't say anything but I could see that Ems was going to get an ear full later on and possibly a back hander… The officer looked at his partner as if he didn't really know what to do. It was then I immediately knew that he was a rookie, fresh out of training. The senior officer looked towards Jenna.

"Mrs. Fitch, do you want to press charges…"

She cut him off.

"Yes I do." She replied.

He nodded and motioned his partner to continue escorting me out of the house.

"Wait." Emily said panicked.

"Katie invited her in, I invited her in…"

"Listen lass…"

Emily cut him off.

"How can she be trespassing if my mother never asked her to leave in the first place?" Emily shot out with her hands on her hips. "She was invited in by my sister and me, she was NEVER asked to leave."

The officers didn't respond.

"She didn't break in, there was no forced entry… she walked in through the front door which I had opened for her. Can you please explain to me how that qualifies as trespassing?"

"Your mother…"

Emily interrupted.

"Well, sir… I apologise that she has wasted your time. I am sure that in your line of work, you have better things to do then worry about a mother who can't accept her daughter for being gay."

"How dare…"

"SHUT UP MUM… It's fucking true yeah… you can't handle it." Katie shot out.

The senior officer done an upward nod to his partner and I was released from the handcuffs. He turned to face Jenna.

"Apologies Mrs. Fitch, we don't handle civil matters… I suggest maybe next time you sort out your differences through conversation before you call the police and waste our time."

(HA, take that you bitch.)

He turned to face me.

"And you young lady, I think it's best if you leave with us."

I nodded. He said it quite gently which surprised me. Like he understood and he felt sorry for me or something. He raised he's arm behind me, gesturing me to leave with them. Jenna was completely embarrassed by what had just occurred but fuck her ya know. Who the fuck does that? Well, I can answer that, obviously she does… I looked towards Ems pleading with her through my eyes for 'us' to be okay, but there was no change.

"Thanks." I whispered to both her and Katie.

Katie gave me a nod. I had a feeling she knew what was going on between me and Ems and she wasn't too happy with me. Emily just stared at me almost blankly with silent tears streaming down her reddened cheeks. It really did break my heart seeing her like that, you have no idea… I got outside and the officer ushered me towards the car.

"Hang on, you said it was okay?" I said trying to hide the panic in my voice.

"It is love; we're just going to give you a lift home, of course if you would like one?" He replied.

I paused for a moment.

"Um, nah that's okay… I think I need to like, walk it off."

He nodded.

"Thanks anyways." I added.

I turned around and went to walk off.

"Naomi isn't it?" He called out.

"Ahh yeah."

He tilted his head towards the house.

"I know what it's like… same thing happened to me when I was you're age. Don't let it get to you… there's one in every family." He said referring to Jenna.

I smiled, placed my hands in my pockets, turned away and slowly made my way home.

(Home… Thank fuck for that.)

* * *

><p>"Hey Naomi."<p>

_**CRACK**_

I knocked her to the ground instantly. I was fucking furious and this bitch was the cause of Emily's heart ache… FUCK what I was feeling. It didn't fucking matter… What did matter was Emily. I kneeled down beside her and started hitting her as I had turned completely frenzied. She was facing the ground and was trying to get up and I didn't want her to. I grabbed some of her hair and wrapped it around my wrist to keep her head in place as I threw punch, after punch, after fucking punch but I was that fucking furious I was missing, some punches only just grazing her head… I felt someone come up behind me and drag me off of Amanda but as her hair was wrapped tightly around my wrist, she came with me and screamed due to her hair almost being ripped from her skull… I only got one decent punch in for fucks sake.

"Naomi fucking relax babe…"

"FUCK OFF, LET ME GO." I screamed back trying to struggle free.

"STOP… YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH." Angel yelled back.

No I haven't done enough; this bitch was going to pay for what she's done.

I got free from Angel's arms and started hitting Amanda again.

"Fucking cunt." I spat as I slammed my fist into her head.

"OH MY GOD NAOMI, FUCKING, FUCKING STOP…" Emily shrieked.

I couldn't though, as much as I tried… I fucking couldn't. I hated her with a passion. I needed to cause as much fucking damage as possible. That's how I was feeling at that particular moment. My better judgment was clouded by my fury… I felt someone's arm wrap around me again but it felt different to the first time, it felt familiar and it would have felt quite pleasant if it hadn't of been a situation such as this... It was Emily.

"Naomi please fucking stop." She pleaded. "Just stop."

I continued to struggle, trying with all my strength to get free and kill the bitch that was in front of me. I couldn't get my arms free so I used my legs instead but Emily pulled me back as I swung my leg towards Amanda, causing me to miss. Angel came around the front in an attempt to secure my legs but instead got a couple of kicks to the shins.

"FUCK SAKE." She cried out in pain.

She recovered from the blows and wrapped her arms around my calves and squeezed my legs together so I could no longer kick.

"Emily, fucking hold her yeah." Angel said.

I was trying so hard to get out of Emily's and Angel's grip, I almost did. Ems almost dropped me as I thrashed and wiggled around but by this stage I was exhausted. The burst of adrenalin that I had received earlier due to my explosive temper was wearing off… The two of them carried me away from Amanda and out the front of school, away from the scene.

"Let me go." I said.

It surprised me how calm it came out because I was still quite fucking outraged.

"If we let you go, you gonna behave." Angel said cocking her eyebrow.

"Fucking Let Me Go."

It was Emily's turn to speak.

"Naomi, promise you won't do anything."

I sighed heavily. Ems was the only person I would ever listen to.

"Okay… okay, I promise… Just put me the fuck down yeah." I replied.

I couldn't see Ems as she was behind me but Angel looked at Emily and I guessed that they were having unspoken words with each other. Angel let my legs go to allow me to stand on my own and once I had use of my legs again, it took a while, as if Emily didn't trust me but she eventually released me from her grip. I fixed up my clothes as they had twisted in the struggle and went to walk off. Emily grabbed my arm and spun me around looking towards my furiously. When she looked into my eyes she gasped when she saw that my pupils were fucking huge. I had taken speed earlier in the day and I was feeling really good but then I started to think about Emily and I became aggressive all of a sudden and that's why I am here. It was like I was on a mission and I had absolutely no control over myself. I just needed to fucking hurt Amanda the only way I knew how and that was by kicking her fucking head in. She hurt me and she fucking killed Ems… she couldn't get away with that shit.

"What the fuck has gotten into you?"

I didn't answer. She should already know... She pursed her lips angrily and decided to take her questions in another direction.

"What have you taken?" Emily asked sternly.

"Doesn't really concern you anymore Ems…" I replied.

She cocked her eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips. I gave in.

"Whiz…" I sighed.

She looked towards me questioningly. She didn't know what 'whiz' was. Angel caught on.

"Speed love." She told Ems gently.

"Right… of course it is." Emily replied as she glared at me. "… and did you give that to her?" She asked Angel.

"No sweetie." She replied.

There was a brief pause and I was starting to feel edgy due to the drugs, kind of anxious and awkward would be a more accurate description. I was starting to come down from the high…

"Anyway, I gotta go." I said.

I gave Ems a depressed half smile and turned away. Angel blocked my path and grabbed me by my jacket.

"You need to talk to her babes." She whispered so Emily couldn't hear.

"No use…" I replied.

I went to continue on my way but Angel wouldn't let me.

"Naomi, you're a fucking mess yeah… YOU need to fix this."

I exploded.

"HOW THE FUCK CAN I, HUH? SHE THINKS I'M FUCKING YOU FOR FUCKS SAKE."

_**SLAP**_

"Don't fucking talk to me like that… got it?"

"FUCK OFF."

"What the fuck did I just say?" She replied.

She pushed me away from her and towards Emily. I squinted angrily and took a step towards her, biting my bottom lip.

"Come on then. Have a go Naomi…" Angel said, egging me on.

Emily got in between, pushing me back and away from Angel.

"Enough, okay… enough."

Emily sighed heavily in relief when I listened and took a step back.

"Emily hun…"

"What?" Emily spat.

"There's something you need to know…"

I saw Emily's face turn completely red as her blood had reached boiling point.

"I already know." Emily interrupted coldly.

Angel shook her head as she looked toward Emily seriously.

"No babe, you don't. Since I've been back, Naomi and I…" She trailed off. "Look, nothing's happened between us."

Emily scoffed.

"Angel, the whole school knows about you and Naomi…"

"It's not true."

"You expect me to believe that?" Emily replied.

"To be honest, I don't really care what you believe because it's the truth."

Emily stayed silent.

"I've known Naomi since I was 13, she was my first and as much as I'd love for her to be my last, it's just not going to happen."

My mouth dropped open upon hearing Angel's confession. It was the first I had heard of it. It was kind of a shock… I never knew.

"Why is that?" Emily asked.

"You want the truth hun?" Angel replied.

Emily nodded.

"Because she loves YOU. She wants YOU."

I personally don't think Emily was entirely convinced.

"It's true; I went over to see Naomi after school last week. I'm not going to deny it. Yes, I went there with the intentions of getting a shag because that's what we do…"

Emily became emotional.

"Please…" She sniffled. "I don't want to hear this."

She turned slightly and attempted to walk away but Angel grabbed her arm.

"Emily, we didn't do anything… she didn't want to… Babes, I'm telling you yeah, she loves you. I know what she's like. If she didn't love you hun, she would be screwing every girl in Bristol and its surrounding fucking suburbs…"

Angel paused for a moment.

"Babes, I might be a lot of things, but one thing I am definitely NOT is a home wrecker… I love Naomi; I would never interfere with any of her relationships. If she's truly happy then so am I… Don't be stupid okay… she fucking loves you."

Emily started to cry almost uncontrollably… I wasn't sure why exactly. I didn't know if she believed anything Angel had just said. I wanted so badly to step towards her and wrap her in my arms and comfort her but I was stuck. Emily turned towards me but it was only for a brief moment. It was like she couldn't stand to look at me.

(I've lost her.)

She obviously didn't believe a word of what Angel had said and she sure as fuck didn't believe me because she walked away hurriedly without saying a word.

"Thanks anyway Angel." I said flatly as I walked away towards home.

"Give her time." She called out.

I gave her a backward wave and continued to drag my feet in the direction of home with my head bowed while I stared at my feet. I passed Amanda as she was coming out the school gates with her group of bitch friends screaming abuse towards me. I didn't really give a fuck… whatever ya know? I looked up at them and smiled as if they had just said 'have a lovely day' to show that it didn't bother me and went back home…

* * *

><p>That shit that happened with Amanda three weeks ago, well honesty I felt terrible about it. Yeah, maybe she deserved a slapping or even a good kick up the arse but what I did was just, I don't know, despicable is the word that comes to mind. I don't usually 'roll' like that unless it is absolutely necessary, like when those 5 bitches ganged up on Ems that time and I think we all know that the situation with Amanda was nothing like it. Yeah, I was high on speed and I was fucking pissed right off because of the lies she spread around the school resulting in me and Emily to be on the outs but I still know I went overboard and none of the above is a good enough excuse to do what I had done. A few days after the incident I went to the school and waited until I saw her, wanting to apologise. I know it's not much but what else could I do, ya know? I meant it and I wasn't just saying it because I felt bad and I wanted to make myself feel better, I was truly fucking sorry that I had unleashed on her like that. It was wrong and I had gone way too far with it. Of course she didn't accept my apology and I don't blame her. She told me to go and get fucked. I wasn't surprised, it was expected. I nodded and let her be. After the apology, I went to walk off and literally bumped into Emily, both of us not noticing one another. I went to speak but she still couldn't look at me and it broke my fucking heart all over again. She said sorry for bumping into me and hurriedly walked down the street towards home. I'm not really emotional and all that but somehow Emily has turned me into a soft, blabbering mess. An emotional wreck. I almost fell to the floor as I watched her walk away, weak and fucking dizzy. I didn't cry though, which I was happy about. For me, crying is a no no, I don't do 'crying'. Don't get me wrong, I mean there is nothing wrong with crying, just for me personally, I'm not accustomed to it and if I shed a tear, I feel kind of silly for some reason… I will admit that I have shed a tear or three over the last few weeks over Emily and as hard as I fucking tried not to, I couldn't keep that shit in, it was just too hard so for me NOT to cry when I bumped into her, well I hope you can understand why I was proud of myself…<p>

"What can I get ya hun?"

I was still extremely depressed and shattered over Ems (obviously) but I thought it was time that I got out of the house. All I have been doing since it all happened is smoke a shit load of weed and drink myself to sleep. I know it's not the healthiest thing to do but ya know, that's how I cope with things. I am proud to say that today I haven't felt the need to smoke a spliff and I don't really fancy making it a permanent thing, it's just that everything is still quite fresh and I just need some breathing space and that's exactly what the green was doing… giving me room to breathe so I can sort myself out. Mentally, I'm all over the place. It feels as if someone has their hand wrapped around my heart, squeezing and pulling at it but not quite ripping it out… Ripping it out would be much nicer and less fucking painful. What I am feeling is torture…

"Um, can I just have a bag of chips and a coke please?"

"Yeah sure, eat in or take away?"

"Take away thanks."

The waitress threw me a wink which was accompanied by a smile. The look on her face was the kind when you know they fancy you. The old me would have taken the bait and this particular girl was sexy, BUT she wasn't Emily.

"It'll be ready in about 15 minutes… running behind in the kitchen."

"Yeah, no worries…"

I gave her a small smile and went outside to have a fag while I waited. I felt totally lost. I had always been use to being on my own and I liked it. I chose to be that way but then I met Emily and I wanted to be around her all the time. Being by myself didn't seem so appealing to me anymore, not with Emily in the picture. We were always together, well that was until Jenna got in the middle, but I mean me and Ems saw each other every day at school and she would come over to mine every chance she got. Now, there's nothing. I don't see her at all and it's driving me mental. I probably sound like I'm clingy and all that but I'm not, I just really fucking miss her.

I flicked my cigarette into the gutter when I was done and walked back inside. The waitress had my chips in her hand and was getting my drink as I approached the counter. She rested my order on top of the bench and in turn I handed her the money.

"Keep the change." I said as I picked up the bag of chips and the drink.

She smiled.

"Thanks hun…"

She looked around quickly before she cast her gaze back to me. She leaned in closer flashing me her cleavage. It was hard not to look, I mean her 'girls' were right in front of me but honestly it didn't do anything for me. I could have just been watching someone mow their front lawn or looking at a painting in a museum ya know…

"Is there anything else I could help you with?" She asked seductively.

I sooo wasn't interested.

"Eh, yeah… vinegar, ya know, for the chips." I replied holding up the bag.

She immediately straightened herself up looking slightly embarrassed and maybe a little offended, not sure. No doubt this one hasn't been turned down all that often. She was beautiful but as she smiled and looked at me like she wanted me to take her there and then, I couldn't stop thinking about Emily.

"Just… ah, the um the vinegar is just over there by the napkins." She replied.

I looked over to where she was pointing and walked over and did what I had to do. I walked back past her and told to her to enjoy the rest of her day. She gave me a quick nod and disappeared into the kitchen her cheeks slightly red. I got out onto the street and crossed the road. There was a small park there with a nice view. It was the perfect place. I could eat and not worry about being disturbed. I needed some fresh air and some space to do some real thinking. I was trying to come up with a plan of attack. I hadn't given up and I wasn't letting Emily go that easily, I just needed to be clear headed and not 'emotional' when I did eventually face her. I know it can go either way so I'm not getting my hopes up but what I say to her needs to make sense. It's something that can't be rushed even though every day I wake up wanting to run over to her house and sort this mess out fucking urgently…

"Oi lezza, what are you doing here?"

I didn't even have to turn around to recognise that voice. So much for getting my space, lost in my thoughts, fuck sake.

"Hi Katie." I replied depressingly.

I didn't really want to see Katie. It would only remind me of you know who. I mean yeah they weren't EXACTLY identical. They had their differences. Katie had a rounder face and a slight lisp when she spoke. Emily's face was more defined and her voice was husky but they were close enough…

She came up beside me and stared down at me for a few moments with her hands on her hips.

"Seat taken?"

"No…" I replied.

She took a seat and without warning slapped me in the back of the head.

"Fucking hell Katie." I said as I lost half the bag of chips I was holding.

I turned to face her completely stunned.

"What's going on between you and Ems?" she asked with an eyebrow cocked.

"It's not really any of your business Katie."

"Yeah it fucking is. She's my sister, my TWIN sister and the fact that I have to hear her cry herself to sleep every fuck-ing night, well I think it gives me the right to know what the fuck is going on… Don't you?"

I sighed heavily. How could I argue with that? I was trying to think of where to start but it was difficult; there were so many things…

"Bitch, I told you not to hurt her… give me one good reason why I shouldn't cut ya tits off?"

There was a slight pause.

"Emily thinks I cheated on her with Angel." I replied.

"Did you?"

"Fuck no." I replied quickly.

Katie just stared at me, analysing.

"I know." She replied.

My jaw dropped in shock.

"Why the fuck did you ask me then."

"I wanted to hear it from you." She replied.

I shook my head. This was like some game for her, well that's the impression I got from it.

"Listen, Ems knows too." She continued.

"Knows what?" I asked confused.

"That you didn't do anything wrong."

I stood up immediately.

"WHAT?"

Katie flinched slightly at the level of my voice. It was unexpected. She stood up and folded her arms. My chest started to heave up and down as I in took as much air as I possibly could trying to keep my anger level to a minimum.

"Since that day with ya know, Amanda, she realised she was wrong."

I threw my hands in the air and dropped them back down to my sides as I turned slightly, looking off to the right.

"That's just fucking great… FUCK…"

She grabbed my arm and spun me around to face her.

"Fucking relax yeah… you know what she's like Naomi. She's wanted to talk to you but she, she thinks you hate her."

"How could she even fuck-ing think that. Jesus fucking Christ."

Katie exhaled.

"Because of the way she acted."

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, pissed off but somewhat relieved that Emily knew I hadn't been unfaithful to her. The thought of her thinking that, it fucking killed me so it was like a huge boulder had been lifted. Everything started to make more sense now. After Angel had delivered her speech to Emily, the way she broke down and couldn't look me in the eye, it was her feeling guilty. In fact she looked ashamed. Why the fuck didn't I pick up on it? I'm such a fucking idiot. I understand why she hasn't been able to talk to me; her confidence level is at an all-time fucking low. That's why that day I bumped into her she couldn't face me…

"Where is she?" I asked almost frantically, grabbing and squeezing Katie's arms.

"She's at home."

I released Katie and went to run towards her house but she grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me back into her.

"Not a good idea."

"What? Why?" I asked confused.

"My mum for one… Look, let me talk to Ems."

I frowned.

"I need to see her now Katie, like right FUCKING now yeah."

She shook her head.

"Let me talk to her first okay, trust me."

I clenched my jaw because I didn't like what I was hearing. Fuck I needed to see her, ya know?

"Naomi she's not going anywhere… you've waited this long, what's a couple more days?"

She had a point.

"Fine… but fuck, can you at least let me know what's going on?"

"I'll call you tomorrow night."

"You fuck-ing better..." I spat.

Katie squinted at me. I assume she wasn't happy with the way I was talking to her. I didn't mean to sound so much like a bitch but given the situation, I mean can you really blame me for being overly 'excited'?

"Sorry, but…"

"Don't worry about it. I get it. Just don't come anywhere near my house okay, unless you want to go to jail. Mum's out for your blood. She'll take any opportunity…"

I nodded. I mean usually I wouldn't give a fuck about that but like I wouldn't get Ems back if I was sitting in one of Her Majesty's Prisons and if I'm a little crazy over this whole thing with Emily now, could you imagine how I'd be in jail? I'd go fucking mental, probably carted off to the muppet wing.

"I mean it yeah, don't come near the house."

I paused for a moment.

"What the fuck is your mum's problem anyway?"

Katie glared at me for several seconds before I saw her facial expression soften. I think she thought I was being a smart arse or something but I was being genuine. I really wanted to know. Was it because of the whole gay thing or did she just not like me personally.

"Emily's not gay." Katie replied.

I scoffed at her.

"Ah Katie, I'm sorry yeah, but I think I would know if she was um… gay. Trust me, she most definitely is."

Katie rolled her eyes at me and to be honest she looked a little pale. I think she just got an image of me and Ems ya know doing stuff. Oh actually she's already seen that. Maybe that's what she was picturing.

"I know that you dozy cow…"

"Oh." I replied when it finally clicked.

She was answering for her mum.

"She can't stand you yeah. She knows about…"

I cut her off. I didn't really want to hear about all that. It's not me anymore, not since Emily. I look back at how I was and to be honest I'm fucking embarrassed about it. All those girls I went through, all the drugs and trouble. It wasn't for me. I don't completely hate my past; reason being I would never have ended up in Bristol which meant that I would never have meet Emily… and a life without Ems, I just… FUCK… What life? I couldn't imagine her not in it. Yeah, I wouldn't know any better as I would never have met her but for me, I hate thinking about that. It's a terrifying thought… I heard a beep from my phone and quickly pulled it out of my pocket to check. It was my mum. If I had balls, she'd break them.

"I get it. It's fine… Listen Katie, I have to go… please, tell Ems I love her okay. I want her back 'cause this is completely fucked yeah…"

It was only for a split second, but I saw a different side to Katie. The real Katie. The one that hid behind all that make up, revealing clothes that didn't leave much to the imagination and bitchy fucking attitude. The best way to described the look she gave me was as if I had just said 'I love you' to her. It was kind of weird but I'll write that off as a twin thing or even a sibling thing. Something I would never understand as I don't have a brother or a sister. Katie's eyes quickly flicked over my shoulder and then back to me.

"Tell her yourself." She replied giving me an upward nod.

I frowned slightly because it took a little bit to register what the hell she just said. The nod she gave me is what got me unstuck. She was motioning me to turn around. I spun on my heels that fast it was a move that Michael Jackson would have been proud of. Smooth fucking criminal. When my gaze fell on the sight I have been dying to see for almost a month, my jaw dropped and I was fucking stunned. It was completely unexpected. It's when she gave me a shy, teary smile that got me unglued. I ran over to her and wrapped her in my arms. I forgot to stop and ended up lying on top of Emily, knocking us both to the ground. I quickly analysed her to make sure she was okay and I hadn't hurt her and crashed my lips onto hers…

"I fucking…"

I paused to place another frantic kiss upon her lips.

"… love you…"

Emily placed her hands on my chest, pushing me slightly off her. Tears were streaming down her face and all I could think about was loving those tears away…

"Naomi, I'm…"

She paused to let out a shaky breath.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Shhh, it's okay…" I whispered as I brought a hand up to her face and wiped her tear stained cheeks. "It's okay."

I gazed down at the most beautiful girl my eyes had ever seen, my lips had ever kissed, my hands had ever touched. She was gorgeous, tears included… I leaned down slowly and gently pressed my lips against hers, kissing her tenderly. Fuck how I missed this. All those familiar feelings that Emily's kiss induced came rushing back. The tingling feeling on my lips, the warmth that swept throughout my entire body, the butterflies in my stomach, the lightheadedness… If I didn't know that I already loved her, I sure as fuck know now. I'm not just talking about love, fuck it's much deeper than that. I don't even think there is a fucking word to describe what I feel for her. All I know is that I don't want to be without her until the day I die, even then, if there is life after death…

"Oi, you're starting to get an audience for fucks sake…" Katie interrupted.

Of course I was far too busy kissing the lips of the one I loved to even really hear or care who was watching.

"Bunch of pervy bastards, WHAT the fuck are you all staring at?" Katie shouted. "Fuck off yeah; mind your own business…"

I pulled back from the kiss leaving both Emily and me completely breathless. I couldn't help but smile when I saw the look on Emily's face. The twinkle was back in her eye where it was supposed to be. She was biting her bottom lip all sexy like and her cheeks had completely flushed. I leaned back down and kissed the tip of her cute little button nose and stood up. I extended my hand for her to take and assisted her up to her feet and once we were both standing, I instantly wrapped my arms around her and squeezed the life out of her. All that negative shit I had been feeling this past month immediately slipped away. It was kind of like when you write something in the sand and a wave gently crashes over it, making the sand all smooth again and whatever was written completely vanishes. That's how it felt with Emily in my arms again… I heard clapping and I snapped my head around to face where it was coming from. There were about 10 to 15 people standing around and no doubt had witnessed the whole thing. I felt my cheeks glow red hot with embarrassment and quickly looked back at Emily who was in a similar state.

(Fuck it.)

I grabbed Emily and pulled her in closer to me and planted a passionate kiss upon her lips. The kind that makes the person you're giving it to whimper. The small crowd started to cheer and so I released Emily and took a bow… Emily, Katie and I watched as the people started to go their separate ways.

"Fuck, Ems we have to go yeah, we're late."

Emily looked towards me with a sad expression. As I stared into her eyes I saw something click. She turned to face her sister.

"I'm not going." Emily replied.

"But… Ems, what about…"

Emily cut her sister off.

"I don't care Katie; mum is not controlling my life any longer…"

"What the fuck do I tell her then?" Katie asked completely panicked.

Emily turned to face me and gave me a warm smile before she turned back to face her sister.

"You can tell her I'm with Naomi." She replied.

Emily took my hand and as we started to walk away Katie hurriedly came up beside Emily and grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Emily for fucks sake, mum will kick you out yeah…"

"She can do what she likes, I honestly don't care anymore. If she can't handle me being with Naomi, then FUCKING bad luck."

Katie looked towards Emily completely distressed. I could see she was scared of what could happen if she were to tell her mother that Emily was with me. She was scared of losing Emily, not that THAT would happen but in her mind that's exactly how she saw it. I tugged gently on Emily's hand to gain her attention…

"Ems, don't take this the wrong way okay, but I think you should go with Katie."

My heart felt as though it had stopped beating for a moment when I saw Emily's face drop in disappointment.

"I'll see you after it, I promise." I paused to look at Katie for a moment. "You're going out later aren't you Katie?"

I was assuming that Jenna was still forcing Emily and Katie to be together at all times.

"No, I'm going…"

Katie stopped mid sentence as if she finally understood what I was driving at. I wasn't really asking her if she was going out. I was telling her too. I looked on as I saw a look of relief sweep across her features.

"Yeah, yeah… I'm going out." She finished.

I smiled.

"Sorted then, Ems you come to mine… um, if you want too."

"Naomi, of course I want to but I don't…"

"Emily, keep the peace for now okay, with your mum. School and all that yeah?"

Emily didn't say anything but she nodded in agreement. I leaned in and gave her another hug placing my mouth near her ear.

"I'll see you later okay… you better not change your mind because I've fucking missed you." I whispered giving her a tight squeeze.

I pulled back slightly and gazed into her gorgeous big brown eyes. I went to tell Emily that I loved her but she placed a hand at the back of my head and pulled me closer to her, crashing her lips onto mine before I had a chance to actually voice it.

"Jesus fucking Christ, get a room yeah…" Katie interjected.

Emily broke the kiss and stared back toward me.

"I know." She said staring at me intensely. "I'll see you later okay."

I nodded. I looked over towards Katie who mouthed a 'thank you' before she took Emily by the wrist and gently pulled her away. No doubt relieved that she didn't have to explain to her mother why Emily wasn't with her and her answer being the cause of Emily being kicked out of home… I didn't move, actually I couldn't. I stayed right where I was watching Emily as she walked into the distance with her sister. It was like I was hypnotised by her. She kept turning around to look at me, once almost tripping over uneven concrete. I chuckled and even from this distance I could see her cheeks glow red. She was so fucking adorable.

When I finally couldn't see her and Katie anymore I turned around and made my way back home only stopping briefly at the milk bar to buy a packet of cigarettes. When I exited the shop I received a text message. I rolled my eyes as I took the phone from my pocket expecting my ballbreaker of a mother to be whinging again but to my surprise it was actually Emily's name that was on my screen…

_**I love you too xoxo**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Knock Knock<strong>_

"Mum, open the door." I shouted out.

I had forgotten my keys and I had no time to waste. Emily was coming over and I had shit to do. For one, my room was an absolute pig sty so it needed a desperate clean and I needed to shower and spruce myself up a bit. I wasn't really dressed the best today. I admit I did look a little on the daggy side. I couldn't be bothered dressing nice and all that because I kind of had no reason to. I do now though…

_**BANG BANG BA…**_

"Bloody hell Naomi, I told you I was coming… Didn't you hear me?"

"NO, I didn't." I replied as I rushed inside the house.

I went straight into the kitchen to grab myself a can of coke and took a massive swig in the hopes that the freezing cold beverage would help me calm down. I was way too excited and if I didn't relax, I was going to blow a fuse… I heard my mum behind me clear her throat. I turned around slowly with my head still tilted up, the can attached to my lips as I continued to drink from it. She was looking at me strangely with her arms folded across her chest. She looked pissed.

"Where have you been?"

I lowered the can so I was able to speak.

"I went to get something to eat. Why?"

"Don't lie to me Naomi."

"I'm no…"

She cut me off.

"Have you been with Angel?"

"What? No"

My mum stayed silent for a moment, thinking.

"What have you taken?"

(What the fuck?)

"Nothing."

She took a step closer to me and analysed my face.

"I'm warning you Naomi, do not lie to me. Where have you been and what have you taken?"

"I told you I went out to get…"

_**SLAP**_

I immediately put my hand to my cheek and rubbed it. It wasn't that hard of a slap. Mum felt terrible after she had whacked me one that day Angel invited herself over and cut my lip. This slap was more of a 'love tap'. One that told me that she meant business. She wanted the truth but at this point I don't think she'd believe me.

"Fuck sake mum, I went out to get something to eat okay, I ran into Emily and she's coming over tonight. I haven't been with Angel and I sure as fuck haven't taken anything."

Mum placed both her hands on either side of my face and tilted my head towards the light.

"Open your eyes Naomi."

I sighed heavily and did as she asked. She looked into them for a few moments before she was satisfied that I was not on anything and released me. She took a step back and smiled warmly. She has definitely got to stay off the green for a few days. It's messing with her brain.

"Happy?" I asked.

"Yes love, I'm sorry. I just don't want you going backwards, not after coming so far. Angel is a bad influence on you and I think it's best you stay away from her.

"I have been mum."

She nodded.

"So, Emily is coming over?" Mum asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I just told you that like 2 minutes ago."

Mum's face lit up like Times Square.

"Mum, would you mind if like we had the house to ourselves, so we could… talk."

She looked towards me with an understanding expression.

"Of course love. I'll go and visit Norma across the road."

Mum paused for a moment with a huge smirk on her face.

"Would that be far enough dear?"

I frowned at her.

"It may help if you shut some of the upstairs windows."

"Oh my God mum, Emily's coming over so we can talk yeah…"

Mum let out a light chuckle.

"Sure she is love."

"Urgh, okay can you go now so I can get organised please?"

My reaction and the look on my face must have been fucking hilarious because my crazy mother almost fell to the floor laughing her arse off. When she collected herself with me staring at her unimpressed, she wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed me on the cheek.

"You have until 11." Mum said as she still continued to grin. "Give Emily my love."

"Yeah okay. Thanks mum."

"Make sure you give her some of yours too…"

(Jesus fucking Christ)

I frowned toward her.

"Okay, you can like piss off now." I replied annoyed.

Mum continued to laugh. Is she really trying to wind me up? Fuck sake… She walked towards the kitchen table, grabbed her hand bag and made her way over to Norma's…

I quickly lit up a fag and polished off the rest of the coke. Why was I so nervous? I didn't know what time she was coming past mine but I thought I better get a move on just in case she arrives early. I butted out the smoke and made my way hurriedly upstairs and fixed the dump I call a room. Well, it's not really a dump, I mean it does look quite nice once it's clean and straightened up. With that out of the way I went into the bathroom and did what I had to do and reentered my bedroom. What the fuck do I wear? I rolled my eyes at myself a few moments after I asked myself that question.

(What the fuck is wrong with you Naomi.)

I grabbed a pair of dark blue jeans, white singlet and my favourite zip up hoodie and proceeded to get myself dressed. I decided to go for my black Vans. I had a purple lace through them and my zip up had the same dark purple on it so yeah…

(Quit acting like such a fucking girl)

I put on some light make up to hide the noticeable weed and alcohol abuse over the last month and put some hair putty through my hair and scruffed it up a bit. I let out a massive sigh as I looked at myself in the mirror, fucking relieved that all that was out the way and I looked half presentable. Thank fuck for that. I sprayed some Tommy Girl all over myself and headed down stairs in need of a decent cup of coffee accompanied by a fag. I popped the kettle on, collected a mug from the overhead cupboard and put one teaspoon of coffee and one sugar.

(Fuck it.)

I ended up putting two. I could do with something sweet right now. Although Emily will be here soon so that's all the sweetness I need. Um, yeah sorry where was I? I heard the click of the kettle which reminded me that I needed hot water if I was ever planning on drinking this coffee. I filled the mug, added milk, stirred and immediately took a sip, burning the fuck out my tongue.

(For fucks sake.)

Fucking fantastic, out of everything to burn… I burn my tongue. That's just fucking wonderful. I took myself and the mug into the living room and popped on the TV in the hopes of maybe relaxing and with a bit of luck, get my fucking mind right. I picked up the remote and started to flick through the channels when I heard a knock at the door which scared the shit out of me, causing me to spill my coffee all over my hoodie. I was furious, but fucking relieved that the coffee had cooled down considerably. I went into the kitchen, and used a tea towel to wipe myself down a bit so I wouldn't drip coffee all over the carpet.

_**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**_

"Naoms, it's me…"

(FUCK)

Although the person didn't state who they were, there was no denying that that voice belonged to Emily.

"Just a minute." I yelled out.

I hurriedly wiped down the front of my jacket as best I could but the amount of coffee that had spilled all over it was just too much. I took the jacket off which left me in my singlet and walked over to answer the door. She was fucking stunning. She had obviously gone home and gotten changed, oh not that she looked awful before, don't get me wrong. No matter what Emily was dressed in, she always looked gorgeous. I was stuck. I couldn't move in fact I couldn't even breathe. Emily was the only one who could cause that type of reaction in me.

"Hey… Naomi." Emily smiled sweetly.

There was no response.

"Naoms, are… are you okay?"

I shook my head in an effort to wake the fuck up and get out of this spell Emily had unintentionally put me under.

"Fuck, shit sorry… Ahh, ca, come in yeah." I stammered.

I stepped to the side so Emily could enter. I chose to breathe in as she walked past me and got a whiff of her perfume. My eyes almost rolled into the back of my head as a low groan escaped my lips as I smelt that she wearing that Hypnotic Poison stuff I like her wearing so much. I immediately raised a hand to my mouth in embarrassment…

"Everything okay over there?" Emily smirked cheekily from the entrance of the living room.

"Um, yeah… yeah, I'm just gonna go… um, go upstairs and change my top."

Emily simply nodded as she continued to smirk.

"Won't be long…" I said as I headed up the stairs two at a time.

I entered my bedroom and quickly ripped my singlet off and selected a clean one from my drawer. I turned around and…

"FUCK… you scared the shit out of me." I said in fright.

Emily reached behind herself and slowly closed my door. I heard the click as she locked it, not once did she take her gorgeous brown eyes off me. I have to be honest, right this very minute, I felt as if I was the inexperienced one. I was nervous and the confidence I always have and display in situations such as these was nowhere to be found. It had completely disappeared, disintegrated into thin air. I gulped as Emily headed towards me, her movements slow and deliberate. Like an idiot, I was still holding onto the fresh clean singlet I had grabbed earlier.

"Ah, um Emily, we need to talk…" I said in a low voice.

(Really Naomi? Talk? Are you fuck-ing alright or what?)

As Emily came into my personal space (which I didn't mind sharing with her) she smirked and tenderly placed her lips onto mine for a few moments before she pulled back slightly, gazing up at me all sexy like.

"Naomi, talking is what you do after." She politely corrected in her husky voice.

A thousand and one thoughts were flowing through my mind. I wanted to do so many things in that moment but I couldn't focus on just one to get myself moving which caused me to stay stuck and stare at Emily like a dear caught in a set of headlights. She leaned forward again and pressed her lips back onto mine, running her tongue across my bottom lip. I parted them slightly, allowing her access. With permission granted, she slipped her tongue inside and kissed me sensually slow. My eyes flew open in shock as I heard a groan and almost pulled away to ask "who's that?" before I realised it was me... I felt a slight tugging on my jeans as she undid my belt and stud. I felt her slowly undo the zipper of my jeans as she continued to kiss me in such a way, I decided right then and there that as long as I have Emily kissing me, there was no need for me to take drugs ever again. No drug could compare to the high Emily was giving me…

Emily gently swung me around and backed me towards the bed, our lips not once leaving one another's. I felt her gently slip her hand down the front of my jeans and I had no choice but to sit down on the bed. I couldn't hold myself up when I felt her make contact with me. She pulled away from the kiss and stared adoringly into my eyes. That's the look that got me unstuck. I gently, but firmly pulled Emily towards and on top of me by her hips with a gasp escaping her beautiful lips. I pulled her skirt up so she was able to straddle me and assisted her with her top and then running my hands up down the length of her body, causing her to shiver in anticipation. I slid my hands up and around her back as I nibbled and kissed at her neck, relieving her of her bra. Tenderly, I placed her hardened nipple into my mouth and worked it with my tongue as my hands stroked her bare thighs. She immediately wrapped her arms around me, bringing one hand up to the back of my head, pushing me closer into her.

"These need to come off." I said as I tugged on her knickers.

She didn't say anything but she climbed off me and slid out of her remaining clothes. She took the same position as before and kissed me passionately. I wanted to draw this out a little bit longer. Reacquaint myself with the one I loved but it was becoming impossible. I just wanted to take her there and then. I wanted to make her moan and gasp. I wanted to hear her groan my name and cry out 'I love you'… I slipped my right hand in between her thighs, softly stroking and teasing her. Her hips bucked slightly forward and immediately after, she rose herself upwards. I gently entered her with her bringing herself back down again, staring intensely into my eyes, lovingly. When she felt me inside, she gasped softly with her hips starting to rock gently against my hand…

We made love for most of the night, well and truly into the early hours of the morning until the both of us collapsed into each other's arms and more than likely had the best sleep either one of us had had in a long while. Emily was the first to drift off. Our legs entwined with each other's, her arms wrapped around my waist and her head resting on my chest. I couldn't help but watch her while she slept. She had a small smile on her face and she looked… angelic. She was honestly the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life and she was mine. Mine. Naomi Campbell's. I know, I can't believe it either but there she was, in my bed and wrapped in my arms once again…

**_TBC…_**

**_So there we have it. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter and with a bit of luck I can have the next one out very soon. Thank you for reading. _****_Hope you all enjoy your day/night and take care. Until next time guys :)_**

**_Lyrics used in this chapter:_**

**_- Only U – Ashanti_**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Lives We Lead**

**Part VI**

**.**

**A/N: Hello again. It's been awhile hasn't it? I apologise for the very long wait so just to show you all how sorry I am, this chapter is a long one so make a coffee/tea, grab a bickie and find a nice quiet corner somewhere :)**

**Also, I would like to give a special thank you to Bacala muuahahaha for using threats against me to get a move on with the story. I love you too... don't hurt me :/ lol.**

**.**

"Babe, relax yeah. Don't let her get to you like that."

Emily turned to face me, anger still present in her eyes.

"Don't fucking tell me to relax… I fucking hate her." Emily replied furiously.

Emily had just spent the last half an hour explaining to me that her mother had come around about Emily being gay. Apparently, Jenna had realised she had been wrong in the past on how she had reacted to the news. I almost jumped for fucking joy but then I noticed Emily wasn't exactly smiling about it and I felt my chest tighten on the sorrowful look she was displaying so I asked her what was wrong. She told me that although her mother had accepted the fact that she was gay, she still wasn't allowed to be with me. Jenna wanted Emily to find herself a 'nice' girl and she was forbidden to have me in her life.

"Ems, listen to me… we can get around all this. I'm not going anywhere okay… We'll just have to be… careful." I replied.  
>"Naomi, we shouldn't have to be fucking careful…"<p>

I cut her off.

"I know babe, believe me I know but it is what it is… Look on the bright side yeah? She doesn't care that you're gay… that's the main issue…"

It was Emily's turn to cut me off.

"WHAT? Fuck you Naomi."

Emily immediately turned around and went to walk out of my bedroom.

(Fuck, what did I say?)

I lunged forward and pushed the door closed as Emily went to open it. I spun her around and held onto her arms as I spoke.

"Emily, don't do that. I know you're pissed off but we need to talk about this..." I said as Emily continued to glare at me.

Emily sighed, said sorry and nodded her head. She walked towards the bed and sat down on the edge with her hands in her lap. When she spoke, she stared out of my bedroom window looking up at the sky as if she was in a faraway place, wishing and dreaming things could be different.

"Why can't she see what I see Naoms?"

(Huh?)

"What do you mean?" I replied slightly confused.

Emily inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. She turned away from the window and faced me with a single tear running down the length of her right cheek.

"Why can't she see what I see when I look at you Naomi? I know you have been in trouble with the police and that you have been with a lot of girls but that was before you and I were together. I don't see a trouble maker or a bed hopper when I look at you Naomi. I see a beautiful, intelligent, warm and loving girl. Why can't she see that? Why can't see how much I love you?"

I didn't answer. I had no answer. I just stared at Emily blankly. I watched a tear form in her right eye and watched it sit on her gorgeous long eyelash. She blinked and I observed it roll over the edge of her lash and slide down her soft, flushed cheek… I knew why Jenna saw a no hoper. A no hoper who wasn't good enough for her daughter and to some extent, I even understood. That is exactly what I was. I had been told so by everyone. My extended family that I no longer see, friends, school teachers, police officers, court room judges and it's even come from my own mother. I know she didn't mean it though, it was said in frustration and anger when I used to play up and get myself into trouble. The reason I couldn't answer Emily was because those things she just said, they were foreign to me. Sure, I had heard the words before and I knew what they meant and all that but they have never been directed at me. I almost felt like asking Emily 'Why can't you see what your mother see's?' but of course I didn't. I knew Emily loved me and I loved her. She could see beyond all my bullshit just like when I first met her, I could see through her shyness when everyone who knew Emily just saw her as a pushover, someone to walk all over, a doormat. Someone who didn't have her own personality and was just a 'dumb' clone of her almighty sister. Emily was so much more than that. I guess Emily and me kind of have the same problem. We both have our issues. She believes that she is a nobody and I believe that I am just a lost cause and when we are both told different, we never believe it. It's funny isn't it? How we all tend to focus more on the negative things people say rather than the positive comments. I wonder why that is?

"I can't stand this Naoms. All I want is to be with you and not have to worry about what everyone thinks. You're not like what they say. I knew that the first day I met you. All you've been is sweet to me since day one… I…"

I snapped out of my little daydream and walked over to Emily and sat beside her. She was getting herself all upset again and honestly, when I saw her that way… well it made me upset right along with her. I hated that, I really did but on the up side, I tried my fucking hardest to keep her happy and smiling because only then was I truly happy too. I took her hand…

"Emily, you know I love you yeah?"

She nodded her response.

"As much as I would love for your mother to accept me, to accept us… Hun, it just ain't gonna happen. You need to finish school yeah so if we need to sneak around until then, that's what we'll have to do. I don't want her kicking you out again. I can wait. I WILL wait…"

"But…" Emily interrupted.

I shook my head when I spoke.

"There are no buts Ems, I'm still going to be here. We will still see each other, I promise. This is temporary. It's only until you finish school. I'll get a job and I'll start saving up so we can live together BUT you need to finish school. That is non-negotiable… Okay?"

Emily didn't reply. I could see her thinking about everything. Her thoughts racing a million miles an hour.

"Emily? You need to finish school okay?" I repeated.

There was a slight pause.

"Fine, okay… I will but if my mum still thinks I am seeing you, she won't let me leave the house Naoms. I can't not see you."

And it hit me. It was a long shot but as we all know, our parents can be pretty fucking gullible. It was almost perfect and I know it's been done before… or maybe I saw it in a movie? I'm not sure but it worked and with thought and some convincing acting… I may just be able to pull it off.

"Ems, I think it's time you got yourself a new girlfriend." I said with the cheekiest grin you would ever see displayed on somebody's face.

* * *

><p>"Oi, are you fucking listening to me?" I said as I punched Angel in the arm.<br>"Fucking hell Naomi… YES."

So this plan I've come up with… Angel will be Emily's new girlfriend. Now I know what you're thinking, how the fuck can Angel pull that off? Just looking at her, you can tell she's been around… well let me tell you… The thing with Angel, the style of her make up and the way she dresses normally, yeah, you can see she isn't exactly an 'Angel' BUT she has one of those faces that if her make up is done right and with the right kind of clothing, she can look like the girl next door. A sweet and innocent, I won't go as far as saying virgin, but you get my drift…

"Fucking pay attention then. There is to be NO touching below the waist, you do, I'll cut ya fucking hands off, got it?" I said rather seriously. I meant every word.

"Naomi, if I'm her girlfriend, how the fuck can I be convincing with all these fucking restrictions?" She replied.

"You can be convincing enough without touching her. You best to remember this is just for show, you understand? You can hold her hand, kiss her cheek, hug her… you don't need to go anywhere else, especially in front of her fucking mother… what's wrong with you?"

"Oh, yeah… I forgot about the mother." She replied giggling.

(Crack)

"Ahhh FUCK NAOMS… what the fuck?" She screamed as she rubbed her arm.

"This is fucking serious yeah… you can't fuck around with this. If you ain't gonna do this properly, then don't fucking do it at all." I yelled in frustration.

"Okay, okay… chill. Properly, I got it." She replied.

I know she was kind of fucking around now but I knew Angel and I could trust her to do the best she could. When the time comes, she'll Meryl Streep the fuck out of it and Jenna would be none the wiser. If tonight goes well, this will mean Angel can go the Fitch's house, pick Emily up and drop her home without any problems. Emily would be free to come and go as she pleases IF Jenna falls for this which means I can see Emily all the fucking time…

"Okay, so this is how it's gonna go… you're gonna knock on the door, be sweet as fucking pie, introduce yourself to Jenna and don't speak too much okay. Just answer her questions. Don't over do it. Don't lie too much. Keep it simple. You know Emily from school and that's where you met her, you…"

"Naomi, relax… I know what I'm doing yeah. It's all under control. She'll love me."

Angel opened the car door and got out.

"You better fucking look after this car? Darren will be pissed if you fuck it up."  
>"You better pull your skirt down a bit and lift your fucking top up… the girls are winkin' at me" I replied.<p>

We both laughed. She adjusted her clothing and looked to me for my approval. I gave her a nod and told her to ring me when her and Emily had finished dinner and were about to leave to 'watch a movie'. Obviously Emily was coming home with me. Emily wasn't too happy with this little plan but after explaining that she'll have her 'freedom' she agreed. I mean after all, she wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with her and it made it easier because Emily and Angel had become friends since the whole mix up and they actually got along quite well so all they had to do was be friends in front of Jenna. It was perfect. Jenna didn't know too much about Angel which was in mine and Emily's favour because Angel hadn't been in Bristol long enough to fuck up and have all the parents talking about it so that was a good thing… To say I wasn't nervous about this, I would be lying. I was almost having a fucking panic attack but there was nothing I could do about it. Angel would be knocking on the door right as we speak so I would just have to sit back and wait… I might as well spark up a spliff… If ever I needed one… now was the time.

* * *

><p>I walked over to my CD player; well actually it was Emily's. She had gotten wise about where mine really was. It wasn't in the bin, it was at the pawn shop so she had left her one here after she had given me that sexy little lap dance with her boots and trilby hat. Fuck that was hot… Eh, where was I? Oh yeah… I almost burst out laughing when I turned it on and heard the song that was playing. Emily must have left one of her CD's in the player. It was TLC's greatest hits…<p>

.

_**Get it up**_

_**There is nothin' wrong**_

_**With freakin' all night long**_

_**Me and you**_

_**We're in a groove**_

_**It feels good to me**_

_**Get it up**_

_**Leave your cares behind**_

_**Let me try to find**_

_**Find a spot**_

_**To get you hot**_

_**Let me do you**_

_**Ooohhh…**_

.

As soon as Left Eye's verse came on, I'll be honest, I stopped laughing… It got my attention. I couldn't even tell you what the lyrics were because the only part my mind registered was "Just enough for my tongue to play…"

(Fuck, what the fuck is taking Emily so long?)

The images that popped into my head just from that one little line, fucking hell. I walked towards my bedroom door and opened it and headed straight towards my destination. The bathroom. Emily was in the shower after just finishing school and in my opinion, she was taking far too long. I opened the door to the bathroom and locked it behind me. I stopped for a moment and took in the sight that was in front of me. She was rinsing out the shampoo from her hair, or maybe it was conditioner, I'm not sure because my eyes were soaking up her gorgeous fucking body… the way the water ran down her soft skin, her…

(Fuck me…)

All thoughts ceased except for one… I kicked my sneakers off into the corner, my jeans went flying across the bathroom and landed on the towel rack, my head got caught as I attempted to take my t-shirt off eagerly but luckily I didn't sustain any head injuries and then off came my bra and knickers… Emily, still none the wiser. She was humming a song to herself as she lathered her body in soap and the sight… all I can say is lucky the basin was nearby because my whole body just turned into jelly. I was fucking hopeless around Emily. So much for that 'bad girl' reputation… I regained control of my limbs as the need to have her took over. I snuck into the shower behind Emily and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and pulled her firmly into me. She let out a shriek at first, due to being startled but then relaxed into me when she realised whose arms were wrapped around her.

"I missed you." I whispered into her ear as I gently kissed and nipped her neck.

The only reply I got from Emily was a low guttural groan and my excitement level just skyrocketed. How can every tiny little thing about a person turn you on? Set your entire body on fire? Yeah, I had been with a few girls… okay, more than a few but not one of them could come close to Emily. None of them could make me feel the way I do. The way my whole body tingles when I am around Emily is just phenomenal. It is something that I have never ever experienced with anyone else. Maybe I shouldn't try and work it out… something's are best left in the dark but whatever it is I never want it to stop. I just want more and more. I know I keep saying all that but fuck, I guess it's because I'm in awe… Like I still can't quite believe how one person can make you feel so many things all at the one time…

(I wish I could just hold onto her and never let her go.)

Emily reached down and took one of my hands and raised it slowly to her lips and kissed it in the most sensual way... I was mesmerised.

"Naoms, are you okay?" Emily asked softly.

I guess her not being able to see me as I was behind her got her worried because I hadn't moved or even spoken for a couple of minutes. I moved Emily forward quickly with her putting her hands up against the wall of the shower to stop herself from colliding with it… My hand sliding down to her front as I stroked her for a few moments…

"Oh God." She groaned.

Emily leaned over slightly, pushing herself against me using the wall, her control almost completely lost… she placed her hand over mine as I slowly rubbed my hand against her, kissing her neck gently… I turned Emily around and stared at her intensely. I heard Emily gasp and witnessed her pupils dilate more than they already had as soon as she made contact with my eyes. I still hadn't replied to her question but I know she could see I was better than okay. I brushed her wet hair away from her face and leaned down and kissed her. It was more of a peck at first, sort of a teasing type of thing but my feisty girlfriend had other ideas. She wrapped her arms around my neck, placing a hand to the back of my head and pulled me in closer to her as she deepened the kiss. That was all I needed to get me moving. I placed my hands on her hips and pushed her back against the cold wet tiles, lifting her up and her immediately wrapping her legs around my waist to hold herself in place. Emily was first to break the kiss, her big brown eyes hooded and staring back at me with desire, wanting and just pure adoration. I pressed myself in closer to her middle and lifted her up a fraction more, her back pressed firmly against the wall with a soft moan escaping her beautiful soft red lips… I went into one of my little dazes again. God she was gorgeous. I could stare at her all day if it didn't come across as creepy, I really could.

"Naomi…" Emily whispered.

"Mmm?"

"Just fucking… just fucking kiss me." She said as she inched closer and softly brushed her lips across mine.

I responded, kissing her passionately slow. One hand under her right arse cheek, the other running along her thigh and finding her left breast, squeezing it firmly as I kissed the fuck out of the love of my life…

(Love of my life… I like the sound of that.)

I released her breast, my hand running down across her stomach and finding its way to her middle. I groaned into the kiss when I felt how excited she was, how much she wanted me. I pulled back from the kiss and kept my eyes glued to hers as I entered her with my palm held firmly against her. I thrust up once watching her reaction to my touch… Emily looked up and leant her head against the wall as I continued with the motion… She started to pant and immediately looked back down at me with the wildest look in her eyes, like she had been possessed by something, and then crashed her lips to mine for a few moments, only pulling away to breathe. I directed my kisses to her jaw and I made my way to her neck and nipped it softly causing Emily to growl once again. Emily's arms moved away from being around my neck and placed them around my back as I quickened the motion, her hips rocking rhythmically against me and her nails digging into my back.

"Ohh Naoms… don't… fuck… don't you dare… ohh, don't stop."

Immediately after those words were spoken, Emily let out a little cry as she dug her nails further into my skin, pulling me closer into her. I felt a trickle of blood trail down the length of my back or it could have just been the water from the shower but whatever. It drove me crazy when Emily would cling onto me like that. I fucking loved it…

I picked up the pace, my thrusts strong and firm. Emily sliding up and down the wet tiled wall, the movement of her hips becoming wilder… With my face buried into her neck, I lifted my head up to look at the most gorgeous person I had ever seen and before I knew what was happening, Emily's lips firmly attached themselves to me, her tongue dancing with mine and this time leaving me panting and completely breathless… Emily's moans were becoming more frequent now, her hips were moving on their own accord against me, her legs squeezing me tightly to ensure I didn't lose contact with her, like she was scared I would just float away or disappear… I placed my head back to her shoulder, biting it and leaving a nice little mark there for her to remember this occasion, not that I think she would forget especially by the way she was clawing at me, leaving claim marks of her own all along my back. I kissed my way to her ear, licking her lobe right before I spoke…

"I love you…" I whispered.

As soon as those three words were heard Emily's breath hitched causing a sound to escape through her lips and immediately after, her body tensed up, her legs squeezed me even tighter which beforehand I would have thought was impossible and I felt her wrap around my fingers, her hips grinding themselves hard against my hand as she came… I helped her ride out her climax, wanting her to feel it for as long as humanly possible. Her cries caused goose bumps to form all over my skin as I felt that familiar throbbing between my own legs… I didn't stop. I kept up with the movement as I looked right into Emily's eyes… a look of astonishment all over her pretty little face as her hips continued to buck and the feeling of another climax just on the horizon… Emily didn't know where to put her hands, like wherever she clutched onto wasn't stable enough and so she would seek out somewhere else. Finally she settled, clutching the shower curtain with one hand and holding onto me with the other. As she came in full force the second time, her knuckles white, she pulled the shower curtain off of the rings that was holding it in place, her body trembling uncontrollably as she came back down from the high that we had both created.

She rested her forehead down upon my shoulder as she tried to recapture her breath, her body still trembling slightly as she the feelings coursing through her body settled and allowed her to regain control once again. I held her tightly to me as I stepped back away from the wall, the water of the shower starting to turn cold… I sat myself down on the edge of the bath, my thighs now supporting Emily as she straddled me. I became worried after a while when she didn't move or speak so I pulled her back a little so I could see her face. She looked at me with a stunned expression, her eyes filled with unshed tears…

"Don't look at me." Emily said softly as she sniffled and looked down in what seemed to be embarrassment.

"What's wrong?" I replied concerned as I placed a hand gently under her chin and raised her head back up.

She didn't reply. She was looking in every other direction bar mine and I have to say, it was freaking me out a little.

"Emily?"

Emily stared at me for a moment longer before she leaned in and kissed me… she leaned her forehead against mine when she pulled back, her eyes tightly closed… When she finally opened them with me completely frozen and scared to speak or move, she finally spoke…

"I'm okay."

I stared a little longer at her wondering why it seemed to be such a struggle for her to speak and make eye contact with me. What was running through her mind? I always knew tears as coming with negative feelings so if Emily was feeling bad right now after what we just did, I had to know why.

"Ems, are you okay?" I asked gently as I brushed her hair away from her face. She nodded slowly, looking down. I carefully raised my hand and placed it under her chin and tilted her head up, motioning her to look at me. Finally, she did. She sighed lightly when she saw how concerned I looked and opened her mouth to speak. Nothing came out. She tried again.

"I… Naomi, I…" She sighed again. "No one has ever made me feel the things you do. What you just did to me, what you made me feel. How you made love to me… I just… I promise I'm okay. It was just overwhelming for me… "

Emily leaned her head on my shoulder and squeezed me tight. Her face buried in the crook of my neck, her lips softly kissing the skin there.

"I do love you… very much." She said, continuing to kiss my neck as she released me from her tight grip, running her hands along my back and to my sides soothingly.

"Let me show you." She whispered.

* * *

><p>Emily and me, we are going really well. For the first time since we first met, everything seems to be going smoothly between the two of us. It's a nice change. Emily is no longer paranoid about me hooking up with other girls although, between you and me… I can still see her looking from the corner of her eye whenever I'm around another girl but I let her go. It might sound weird but I kind of like it. It means she actually does have feelings for me, you know? I mean, if she didn't truly care about me, she wouldn't be keeping an eye on me. That's how I see it. She doesn't want me jumping from one bed to another. She only wants me in hers. I only want to be in hers anyway so there isn't a problem. Not from where I'm standing.<p>

Jenna, God bless her… she still thinks Angel is Emily's girlfriend. I almost feel bad about being able to fool her so easily. It borders on hilarious. I wish it wasn't like this though. I do wish Jenna could see how much I really love Emily, how much I respect her. I just want to make Emily happy. That is all I want to do. I want Emily smiling for the rest of her days. It's that simple. It would be nice if Jenna could just step back from her hate for me and really take in the big picture. Put all the bad shit aside and just let her daughter be who she is and be with the person she wants to be that with. I'm not a parent so I guess maybe it's different from Jenna's point of view but like, I don't know, I couldn't see myself having her mentality. Ever…

"Naomi?"

This has been happening a lot lately. Off with the fucking fairies, me. All I seem to do is daydream. Sit there and think of every little thing happening in my life. I've never really done that before. Maybe I'm coming down with something. Yeah, that's got to be it.

"Naomi… are you okay?" Emily said as she nudged me slightly on the shoulder to gain my attention.

"Oh, yeah sorry… what's up?" I replied distantly.

Emily looked at me concerned for a long while before she spoke.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked.

I smiled gently toward her.

"Yeah babes." I said as I leaned in slightly and gave her a soft peck on the lips.

Emily didn't speak straight away. She continued to look at me concerned but seemed to be happy with the smile I was displaying. She sat down next to me and grabbed my hand…

"I don't want to go Naoms… I want to stay here with you." She breathed.

"I know you do but your mum, you know what she's like Ems. She'll…"

Emily cut me off.

"Why do I always have to bow down to her? I'm not a child anymore. If Katie is allowed to stay behind, why the fuck can't I?"

"Because she thinks you're going to like ya know… get up to no good with me. Honestly, I don't know what she's worried about. I'm responsible. I use protection. I won't get you pregnant. Oh well, I mean if the rubber breaks, I can't help that but like I'm 90% sure I…"

Emily slapped my shoulder.

"Be serious." She said, trying to hold back a chuckle. "I want to spend my holidays with you. Two whole weeks I won't see you for. I don't even know if I'll be able to even call you Naomi."

I turned to look at her. I slowly placed my hand on her hips, motioning for her to move over and onto me in a straddling position as I sat on the edge of the bed. I wrapped my left arm around her waist and pushed her in closer to me as she sat down, resting on my thighs.

"Two whole weeks you say?" I said with a smirk.

(Time to tease hahaha)

Emily gasped.

"Don't you dare Naomi… Just because I won't be here doesn't mean you can do whatever the hell you like… I know that look. NO. "

"But… Ems, two whole weeks? How am I supposed to survive that long without se…"

Emily crashed her lips onto mine. Cutting off my sentence and leaving me completely mesmerised. Just one tiny kiss from those lips… I'd do whatever she wanted me to. Well, as soon as I was able to get control of my mind again.

"Did you like that?" She asked with an eyebrow raised and looking confident knowing full well I loved every second of it.

All I could manage was a nod. How the hell is it possible for her to still be able to have that exact same effect on me after all this time? It's unreal.

"Well then, you best behave yourself while I'm gone, otherwise…" Emily paused for a moment and took both of my hands with hers and placed them on her hips. She moved my right hand away from her hip and slid it delicately down the front of her jeans and inside her knickers. I gasped softly when I felt just how *coughs* Um, happy she was. "… This will be the last time you EVER hit this." She said in a rather cheeky tone but although it was said in a cheeky way, the look in her eye told me she was being dead serious and there was no way in hell I was going to misbehave. Fuck no. To me, a thousand girls aren't even close to ONE Emily… but I liked how she got when I teased her. It was kind of hot the way she went from being rather soft and reserved to being confident and fiery. It was a massive turn on.

"Naomi, I told you to put the…"

(OH MY GOD)

"MUM, Jesus fucking Christ… can't you knock." I yelled.

"Oh." My mum said before she turned to Emily and smiled. "Hello Emily, how are you dear?"

With my hand still between Emily's thighs, she turned bright red and couldn't answer my mother too well.

"I um, I eh… I'm.. I'm good. Thanks"

"That's good dear." My mother replied and then turned to me. "Naomi, I asked you to put the roast in the oven at 4 o'clock. You knew I would be home late."  
>"MUM… I know, I'm sorry now could you please get out of my room for like a second? Thanks"<p>

I was too scared to move. I don't think my mum realised that her daughter was missing a hand so I held Emily incredibly close to me so she couldn't tell. If I retrieved my hand… I don't even want to go there. How embarrassing is all I've got to say about the matter. I really need to get a lock on my door. One that actually works.

"There is no need to be rude Naomi. Dinner will be on the table later than usual for reasons you are aware of…"

My mother turned and grabbed the door handle and stepped out of the room. She started to close the door but stopped right before she completed the motion.

"I'd say you have about 2hrs before dinner is ready. Plenty of time to finish what you were doing." She said with a wink.

(Shoot me now please. Two in the back of the head, just to be sure.)

I grabbed my pillow with my free hand and threw it at the door.

"GET OUT" I yelled.

"That was really awkward Naomi." Emily whispered as she gave me back my right hand and got down off of me. "While I'm away, can you please get a new lock on your door? That was just… it was embarrassing."

"I know, believe me, I know." I replied shaking my head.

I love my mum but geez she has no shame whatsoever and talk about a cold shower. I never thought they'd ever be a time where I wouldn't be in the mood to love Emily but I was wrong because this did it. Ew, I suddenly felt like I needed a shower. I felt dirty. Maybe I'm overreacting? No, I don't think so. Emily had the same look that I was displaying. We couldn't both be wrong.

I gently reached over and tugged on Emily's hand to get over next to me. She sat back down beside me but further up the bed and crossed her legs.

"When are your parents kidnapping you?" I said to break the weird silence.

"Friday, after school." Emily replied depressingly. It broke my heart a little. I knew she really wasn't looking forward to it. She wanted to stay here.

"Dover, wasn't it?"

"Yes. Mum wants to go over to France for a couple of days. It's like a ferry ride or something to Calais." Emily replied uninterested.

"Do you have to go to France or you can stay on our side? You're staying with your cousins aren't you?" I asked.

"A few days in France with my mother would be Christmas compared to staying with my stuck up cousins."

I moved up on the bed closer to Emily and sat in front of her.

"You know… if you stay with your cousins the whole two weeks, I might be able to like arrange something if that'll make you happy?"

"What do you mean?" Emily replied curiously.

"Well, if you stay in Dover… I don't see why I couldn't come and see you."

"WHAT?" Emily shrieked excitedly. "Are you serious? Really?"

I looked at her reaction and laughed whole heartedly. God she was cute.

"Yes, I'm serious. I could come down there. Angel can take me. She can borrow her brother's car… I mean if you would like me to like… see you."

"Naomi, don't be daft. Of course I want to see you."

I smiled warmly and nodded.

"Good. It's sorted then."

* * *

><p>This is going to sound really weird but whatever I suppose. Emily left for Dover yesterday and I feel so strange. It's hard to describe the feeling but I would say it's similar to mourning. Like I miss her that much already. It's dumb of me considering that Angel is going to be here in like an hour to pick me up and I'll be on my way to where Emily is. I just hate when we're separated. It really sucks. I think it's because it feels like we'll never really get to be together because there's always someone interfering in our relationship, Jenna being that someone. I can't tell you enough how much I can't wait for the day that Emily graduates from college and no longer has to be dependent on her parents. That will be the best day of my fucking life because you know what that means? Whether Jenna likes it or not, Emily and me get to be together properly. Jenna can huff, she can puff, she can try and blow my fucking house down but that won't make a God damn difference because this little piggy doesn't live in a straw house. She'll be out there all day. Good luck to her is all I can say.<p>

"Hey ma, do you know what I did with my leather jacket?"

I walked down the stairs after not getting a response.

"Mum?"

I could hear the music in the kitchen. It was full blast. I could hear the speakers popping every time the bass went higher. No wonder she can't hear me. She's damaged her ears.

(Jesus Christ, she's going to blow the speakers.)

.

_**All the leaves are brown and the sky is grey.**_

_**I've been for a walk on a winter's day.**_

_**I'd be safe and warm if I was in L.A.;**_

_**California dreamin' on such a winter's day…**_

_**.**_

"Mum?" I shouted a little louder as I walked my way closer towards the kitchen. She was nowhere to be seen. I noticed the backdoor was open and the washing machine was on so there was only one other place she would be if not the kitchen. In the yard hanging out the washing. I wandered over towards the door and stuck my head out and called out to her again.

"Mu…"

I ran towards the clothes line. Mum was lying on the grass, not moving.

"FUCK… MUM… MUM?" I screamed panicked. I looked around not knowing what to do and feeling completely fucking lost for a moment.

"MUM?" I yelled again, slapping her cheek trying to get her to open her eyes. I pushed two fingers against her neck to check her pulse. There wasn't one. I put my hand under her nose. She wasn't breathing… I ran my hand through my hair trying to think of what to do next. I pulled my phone out; I called emergency services and screamed at the lady when she asked my too many questions. She was wasting time.

"JUST SEND A FUCKING AMBULANCE. MY MUMS FUCKING DYING YOU STUPID BITCH."

I threw the phone to the side and stared at my mother who had gone three shades paler. She can't die. Not now. I still need her… I rolled up my sleeves and quickly double checked her pulse. It was still non-existent. I placed my hand on her chest and put the other on top and started CPR. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing but it was better than just sitting there waiting for the fucking ambulance. I had to at least try.

(One, two, three, four, five… breathe. One, two, three, four, five… breathe)

"Come on mum… please wake up. You can't do this… do you hear me? YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS."

I could hear the sirens coming closer towards my house. It seemed like it was taking forever as I rechecked mum's pulse. There was still nothing. I kept going. Maybe I'm not pushing down hard enough? Maybe I need to breathe harder?

"Move aside Miss, we'll take it from here."

The next second I was being pushed to the side and forced to watch the paramedics cut my mums top down the centre and start working on her. I had never prayed before but for some reason, I found myself doing it now. I was begging whoever was up there to spare her and let her stay down here for a little while longer where she fucking belonged. It wasn't her time to go. I even begged for whoever had the authority to take me instead…

"Naomi, fuck what's going on?" I heard Angel yell from the backdoor as she ran over towards me.

"She's gonna die Ang… It's my fault. I fucking did this…"

I couldn't contain myself. I started crying. All the bad things I had ever done, all the times I disappointed my mother, all the times I made her worry and stress came flooding back to me. Angel stepped closer and put her arm around me as a huge fucking wave of guilt swept over me to the point of crippling.

"This isn't your fault Naomi, don't say that." She said. "She'll be okay… she'll be okay."

I didn't say anything. I knew better. It was my fault. I had been a shitty daughter and mum couldn't take it anymore. I watched on, my anxiety levels sky rocketing with each passing second. I couldn't focus on anything. Not even with what was happening with my mother. I didn't come out of that daze until a paramedic came over to me and put her hands on my shoulders. I don't know how she knew my name. Maybe she asked me but I don't remember.

"Naomi, I'm sorry love… we tried everything we could but…"

I looked around the woman to where my mum was lying. She wasn't there. They were already loading her up onto the gurney. I pushed the paramedic away violently, pushing her to the ground as I ran towards my mother.

"JUST FUCKING WAIT A MINUTE… please… just wait." I shrieked.

Nobody said anything but they stopped what they were doing and allowed me to approach my mother. I leaned over her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly.

"Mum, I'm sorry…" I said as the tears began to run down my cheeks. I had so much I wanted to say to her but I couldn't seem to get it out. My mind had gone blank as I looked down at my mothers pale face and realised how cold her hand was getting. She was gone. She was dead. I brushed her hair delicately away from her face and put it the way she would have liked it to sit, leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"I love you mum… I'm so fucking sor…"

I broke down in tears and collapsed on top of my mother. I wrapped my arms around her tightly just like I would have when I was a child. When I was upset and worried about something. I could almost hear her voice whispering in my ear that everything would be okay because we had each other. I could hear her saying that we would get through this and we'd come out the other end much stronger than we were before. I could hear her tell me she loved me and that she was proud of me and no matter what, she would always be there. I almost even felt her squeeze me that little bit tighter like she would have done years ago. Of course, it was all in my mind. She couldn't speak, she couldn't lift her arms up and comfort me and she couldn't tell me that everything would be okay because nothing would be okay again. There were times we didn't get along. Actually, there were times I didn't get along. I disrespected her; I treated her worse than my enemy at times. I spoke to her like she was just some stranger on the street that had pissed me off. I went out at all hours of the night knowing my mother had to work an 18 hour day and that she would be worried sick about me, sitting on the couch waiting for the front door to open or worse, waiting for that dreaded phone call to say that her daughter had gotten herself into something that she couldn't handle and that she needed to identify the body. I put my mother through hell. All those times I got arrested, all those times I had to appear in court, the look of disappointment etched all over her face. The times I came home high as a kite, the look of anger, the look of worry, the tears that came after as she held me in her arms and rocked me to sleep while I spoke gibberish, too drugged fuck to make a coherent sentence. No matter what I did, my mum was always there for me. Always without fail. She put up with my shit because she loved me. She could have walked out like my father did, She could have abandoned me at any time but she didn't. She stayed and what did I do in return? I put her in an early grave. It's a bit late now to realise just how fucking heartless and selfish I had been all these years. Way too fucking late. I don't even remember the last time I told her I loved her. I don't remember the last time I gave her a hug and told her thank you for everything. I never told her how much I appreciated her. I didn't tell her fucking anything…

"Naomi?" I heard Angel whisper concerned. I felt her tug on my t-shirt lightly but when I didn't move from where I was I felt her arm go around my waist and pull me back gently so the paramedics could continue on with the job they had to do.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME." I yelled as I elbowed Angel in the stomach. I picked up the nearby washing basket that my mum had been carrying before she died and smashed it violently up against the fence. I didn't know what was happening to me. I hadn't been like this for so long. I was able to control myself but right now that wasn't going to happen. I picked up one of the outside chairs and smashed it through the outside table it belonged to, glass spraying all over the place. I sliced my arm on a shard that was still in the table as I retrieved the chair to smash it once again through the fucking thing, blood pissing out of my arm as if someone had just turned a tap on. The funny thing is, I didn't feel anything and I know that fucker should have hurt. It was deep and it was at least 8 inches long. I didn't care anyway. Whatever. Angel hadn't moved from her position, she hadn't spoken a word except "It's okay, leave her" to who I assume was the lady paramedic. Once the table was completely destroyed, I just couldn't stop. I kept smashing that chair all over the broken pieces because I wasn't satisfied and when I collapsed to a shattered heap on the floor, I still wasn't. I was just too exhausted to fucking continue. That's when Angel made her way over and dropped down beside me. She wrapped both arms around me and pressed me tightly against her. I didn't want that. I wanted to be left alone. I tried to wiggle free but she wasn't having it…

"What the fuck do I do now Ang? What do I do?" I said, despair in my voice and crying like a fucking baby.

"I don't know Naoms." She replied "But we'll figure it out, I promise."

* * *

><p>"Where's the gear?" I said somewhat angrily.<p>

Angel, although hesitant in my current state was driving me down to Dover.

"You've had enough." She bit back.

"Where the fuck is it Angel?" I responded.

She didn't answer me. Instead she turned up the radio and ignored me completely. I reached for the handbrake, not caring who was behind or how close they may have been to the car and yanked it, causing the car to skid out and do a 360. It ended up on the nature strip after the car behind us clipped the back of the vehicle pushing us to the side of the road.

"NAOMI WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Angel screamed, shaken up by what had just occurred.

"Where's the gear?" I said calmly like I was just kicking back and relaxing.

"YOU FUCKING CRAZY BITCHES. WHAT THE FUCK… LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY CAR. GET OUT… GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR NOW…"

"Shit… we're gonna get our heads kicked in because of you, you fucking idiot." Angel forcefully whispered.

"No we won't." I smirked evilly as I reached under the seat to retrieve what I was looking for. Angel grabbed my arm panicked, squeezing it tightly.

"Don't." she said, looking at me seriously.

I chuckled and flicked her arm off me and opened the car door, stepping out into the freezing fucking cold air. I held what I had taken from the car close to me, behind my thigh so the guy couldn't see it. He approached quite abruptly with fire in his eyes as he demanded to see my information. License etc. I just stood there smiling at him sarcastically sweet which angered him even more. I heard Angel open the car door and run over but she was too slow. When the guy decided to put his hands on me and poke me in the shoulder, I swung what I was holding behind me as hard as I possibly could, hitting him in the side of the head. He dropped instantly to the ground like a sack of shit. Angel gasped and pushed me away as I took another step towards the guy wanting to give him another whack right in the ribs for pissing me off. She roughly grabbed the steering wheel lock from my hand as I smirked at her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She screamed.

In reply, I shrugged uninterested.

"Do you know what you've just done? WE'RE BOTH GOING TO FUCKING JAIL YOU FUCKING TWAT." She shrieked in a panic. She raised her hand and slapped me real hard across the cheek. I just smiled at her. She rushed at me, pushing me onto the ground with her landing on top of me. She grabbed my t-shirt and clutched tightly, screaming in my face about some shit. Something to do with my mum and would she want me to be like this and then she was screaming something about "think about Emily" etc. I'm not really sure what the fuck she was on about because I wasn't really listening. I didn't care to be honest. As far as I was concerned, the guy deserved it. I grabbed Angel and flipped her onto her back and sat on her stomach, holding her arms up beside her head down on the ground so she couldn't hit me.

"Chill out yeah." I said.

The expression she pulled was of shock horror.

"CHILL OUT? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NAOMI? I JUST GOT OUT OF FUCKING JUVIE AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO CHILL OUT? GO FUCK YOURSELF."

I pushed down harder on her wrists.

"I said fucking relax okay?"

"How can I fucking relax? You've probably fucking killed him. I'm not going down for this. Do you hear me Naomi? This is all on fuck-ing you. Don't you dare drag me into this fucking mess…"

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes at her. I let her arms go and stood up, walking over towards the guy. I knelt down and checked him out. He was still breathing. I swear, some chicks get hysterical over nothing.

"He ain't dead so fucking chill… he's sleeping like a baby. He'll have a headache when he wakes up but that's about it." I chuckled.

Angel got up off the floor, somewhat relieved that he wasn't dead but still extremely pissed for what had happened.

"You're fucked in the head." She said as she wiped off the dust from her clothes. "We're still going to jail, aren't we?" she added sarcastically.

"Hmm, no… we don't have to."

Angel rolled her eyes and looked at me like I had finally cracked.

"Yes okay Naomi… they'll see this was a misunderstanding and that you didn't mean to do it. That will be enough to let us go." She said giving me her best death stare.

I looked left and then I looked right to see who was around. Luck was in our favour. No one had driven past since all this happened… my brain started to turn over all sorts of wonderful ideas on how to get out of this or at least bide us some time so I could see Emily.

"Help me get all our shit out of your brother's car and put it into this nuff nuffs. We'll take his for now. Leave Darren's car here."

Angel threw her arms up in the air and let them fall down to her sides as she looked up at the sky before turning her hardened stare at me.

"Oh that's just fucking wonderful Naoms… YEAH GREAT FUCKING PLAN. You don't think they'll run the registration plates? All that gear you've snorted up your fucking nose has seriously fucked your brain. You need help." She yelled.

I laughed. Probably harder than I should have but it was fucking funny the way she said all that or maybe I just have a warped sense of humour? Either way, I was hysterical with laughter. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled Darren's number.

_**Ring, ring… ring, ring…**_

"_**Darren, you need to listen carefully yeah?" I said.**_

"_**Well, me and Angel… we kinda got ourselves into a bit of trouble."**_

"YOU GOT US INTO TROUBLE NAOMI… IT WAS FUCKING YOU." Angel yelled loud enough so her brother could hear.

"_**Listen… I don't have time to explain okay? You need to call the cops and report your car stolen. You don't know when it happened because you just woke up yeah? Ask Robbie next door if he can say he saw a bloke taking it earlier but he thought you lent him the car or something. Work something out with him."**_

"_**Of course he'll do it Darren… offer him a gram of whiz. He'd suck your dick if you asked him to."**_

"_**Yeah alright, relax… I was just making a point. Anyway, you gotta do it now okay? As soon as you get off the phone, call the jacks and tell em what I said… Yeah… Okay… yep. Bye."**_

I smiled hugely at Angel.

"See? Sorted, now get in the fucking car… we'll drive it up to Folkestone and dump it there. Catch a bus or something into Dover."

"And how the fuck do we get back to Bristol Naomi?" She asked.

"I'll sort it, don't worry."

* * *

><p>As we drove towards Folkestone, I knew the only way I would probably leave Dover was in the back of a police van. What I got Darren to do was to only give me more time to get to Emily and spend a couple days with her before I was given a new set of jewellery. Two bracelets for each wrist with a fashionable chain running down the middle connecting the two complete with a lock and key. I would deny that Angel had anything to do with it til I was blue in the face. If she went back inside, she'd be there for a lot longer than I would be… I think, but it was only a matter of time when the guy woke up and called the cops. Even though I took his mobile phone, all he'd have to do was flag down another vehicle and either be driven to the nearest hospital or police station or use the good Samaritan's phone but every extra minute counted. I needed all of them.<p>

I grabbed an old magazine the guy had shoved between the seats and rested it on my lap. I took out a small baggie of powder and sprinkled it onto the front page and used a razor I had brought from home to thin it out a little more. A nasty nose bleed was not what I wanted. After cutting up the powder, I separated it into five lines and took the little glass tube I also brought from home and leant down to sniff a line. It burnt like hell but it only lasted a few seconds. Once the feeling subsided, I had another line and then another. Angel slapped her hand over the magazine as I went in for number four, white powder going all over the place.

"What the fuck Angel?" I said in shock. I couldn't believe she done that.

"Did you forget where we're going? Have a look at you for fucks sake. How do you think Emily is going to react when she sees you like this Naomi? Or you haven't thought that far ahead because you're peaking off your fucking face?"

I stayed silent for a moment but the way I was feeling, as if everything would be okay and work out how I had planned it… I answered.

"She'll be okay… Gimme the other bag seen you fuckin' spilt it all over the car."

Angel scoffed.

"I don't think so Naomi. I don't fancy facing Emily's wrath when I bring a corpse to her instead of her girlfriend. I'm not getting caught up in that shit. No fucking way. You've had more than enough okay?" She took her eyes off the road for a few seconds to look at me. "Your pupils are fucking huge Naoms. One look and she'll know you're on something."

I shrugged. "Oh well."

"Seriously, what is wrong with you? I know your hurting but fucking hell… I know you miss your mum but you have to think about Emily. She is gonna be devastated seeing you like this…"

"No she won't be." I replied quickly.

"Naomi… of course she will be. That girl fucking loves you to death." Angel said. She paused for a moment before she continued. "See how you feel right now? Do you want Emily to feel like that because that's exactly how you're gonna make her feel turning up the way you are."

"Angel, butt the fuck out." I snarled. Angel didn't listen of course.

"Your mum passing isn't gonna be an excuse ya know? Emily isn't going to accept that and to be quite honest, neither do I. I know it's hard what you're going through but seriously babes, reverting back to your old self… it's not the best move. You'll lose her, you do know that don't you? You need to get your shit together because THIS Naomi right next to me, Emily hasn't had the pleasure of meeting her yet. It's gonna be a rude fucking shock."

I stayed silent. I didn't really have much to say about the matter. I could see Angel looking from the road to me and back again several times…

"Oh my God… you haven't told her have you? About your mum? Fuck Naomi…"

"WHAT?" I yelled, finally snapping. My anger getting the better of me. "She was my fucking mum okay. Just fucking leave it. Emily isn't your fucking concern." I snapped.

"Yeah well it would seem she isn't yours either." She replied.

(Fucking smart arse.)

"Fuck you Angel. Just fucking drive the car." I said as I turned up the radio. "Mind your own fucking business."

.

_**On with the action now, I'll strip your pride. **_

_**I'll spread your blood around, I'll see you ride. **_

_**Your face is scarred with steel, wounds deep and neat. **_

_**Like a double dozen before ya, smells so sweet. **_

_**Am I evil? Yes I am. **_

_**Am I evil? I am man. **_

_**I'll make my residence; I'll watch your fire. **_

_**You can come with me, sweet desire. **_

_**My face is long forgot, my face not my own **_

_**Sweet and timely whore, take me home...**_

_**.**_

Ya know, for a wanker… the owner of the car sure did have great taste in music.

* * *

><p>After dumping the car in Folkestone and throwing the steering wheel lock into the ocean, I thought "fuck it." and decided to just hitch a ride with someone. I estimated the trip to take maybe 20 minutes by car. I wasn't really sure because I had never been down this way before but whatever. I knew Dover was the next town over so it couldn't be THAT far away. Angel and me had probably walked a good half hour up the road towards Dover before anyone was willing to stop and give us a lift. He was an elderly gentleman but the way the old fucker was perving at me and Angel was really fucking sickening. Angel, being the way she was decided to raise her skirt that little bit higher when she shifted in her seat, exposing more of her thigh as she crossed her legs. I just shook my head. The old pervert's eyes nearly popped out of his head and I just bet the tosser had a full bar in his jeans. No doubt. I put down the window half way, lighting a fag for me and Angel as we entered Dover. Thank fuck for that because it was starting to feel like we'd never get there.<p>

"We in Dover now girls… where ya want me to drop ya off?" He said all cheerily.

"Here will do buddy. Thanks." I said in a flat voice.

He pulled over to the side of the road and stopped the car completely, turning off the engine and staring at me and Angel in a creepy fucking way.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I was just wonderin' what you girls was gonna give me for me troubles?"

"Eh, give you? How about a punch in the fucking face if you don't get your ugly mug out of mine?" I replied. "Come on Angel, time to go" I said as I grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the car behind me. We started to walk when we heard the dirty old bastard carrying on in the car.

"You fucking bitches… cock teasers, the pair of ya's." He yelled as he started up his car.

"Piss off dickhead, as if you'd be able to fucking get it up anyway…" Angel yelled back.

(HAHAHAHAHAHA so true… )

The old bloke took off with a burn out and disappeared into the direction we came. Good riddance I say. Fucking perv. The guy was old enough to be my great grandfather for fucks sake. Ew.

"Where to now babes?" Angel asked curiously.

"I think there's like a hotel or something along this road somewhere. It should be up further." I replied. "We still got gear yeah? I'm gonna need some soon."

"Naomi…"

"I need it Ang. I'm crashing… hard."

"Maybe you should just sleep it off then."

I cut her off.

"No, I want to see Emily soon as we get there."

She looked at me seriously as if she really didn't want to give me anymore whiz.

"Listen, you're not my fucking mother. She's dead remember, so stop giving me a hard fucking time." I snapped. Seriously, couldn't she see I was not in the fucking mood for this shit?

She reached into her bra and pulled out another baggie. She grabbed my arm by the wrist and lifted it up roughly, slapping the gear into my hand.

"Fine. If Emily gets pissed at you, don't say I didn't fucking warn you."

"Thank you… I won't." I said with a smirk. Angel rolled her eyes unimpressed and stormed slightly ahead of me as I placed the little baggie of powder into my front pocket. After about 8 minutes of walking we finally came to the hotel I was talking about earlier. It was nothing special but all I wanted was a clean bed, preferably a queen or king size and a nice hot shower. We walked into the reception area and were informed they only had the one room with a Queen bed available. I sighed at the man behind the desk wanting my own room for some privacy with Emily and some space away from Angel because she was doing my head in but I guess beggars can't be choosers. I paid him a week in advanced. I was hoping before we were caught up with by the law I would get that week with Emily.

"Great." Angel said as we walked out of the reception and towards our room. "A whole week with you. Eating together, sleeping together… how lovely." She said sarcastically. "Just what I wanted."

"Shut the fuck up yeah… Do I look like I'm excited about the idea? NO, so stop fucking complaining."

"And there's the old Naomi I came to love… fucking prick. Emily's going to love you isn't she?"

I didn't say anything but boy if looks could kill. Angel would be splattered all over the fucking carpark.

"This attitude Naomi, it needs to fuck right off do you hear me? If you hurt Emily, I will fucking kill you."

"SHUT-UP" I said frustrated as I put the key into the door, opening it and chucking my bag on the bed. "Jesus fucking Christ… just give it a fucking rest for five minutes. I'm sick of hearing it." I said.

I pulled out my phone and dialled Emily's number. She didn't pick up the first time so I tried again. Just as I went to hang up, I heard a puffed out "hello"…

"What have been doing?" I asked suspiciously.

"Sorry babes, I left my phone in the house. I didn't hear it ring until the last minute… I've been a little worried. I haven't heard from you in a couple days. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, course it is." I replied dryly. Emily stayed silent for a moment.

"Have you… are you still coming to Dover?" she asked hopefully.

"Well, that's why I'm calling… I'm already here."

"REALLY? You're here? Like now? Where are you?" She asked excitedly.

I gave her the address of the place I was staying in and told her what number room I was in.

"What are… Are you busy now? Can I come over?" She asked.

"Yeah, if you want." I said casually which earned me a hit in the stomach by Angel. She mouthed "Stop it." I had no idea what she was talking about but anyways, okay. I'll agree to disagree. I'll stop.

There was a slight pause on the phone again from Emily.

"Naoms, are you sure you're okay? You sound a little different." Emily said concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine… Listen, I'm gonna have a shower and put some fresh clothes on yeah… see you when you get here?"

"Um, yeah okay Naoms. I'll see you soon. I'll leave in about 10 minutes."

I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed beside my bag. I unzipped it and pulled out a fresh pair of jeans, a top and some underwear. I grabbed my brush, deodorant etc. out of a different compartment and could feel Angel's eyes burning into me from across the room. I sighed heavily.

"What Angel?"

She shook her head.

"Nothing Naoms… nothing at all."

* * *

><p>It took a good 40 minutes for Emily to arrive since I had phoned her and 10 of those minutes was spent with me trying to convince Angel to fucking leave so I could have some private time with Emily. I don't know what her problem is but fuck me, she just didn't want to go. Did she want to watch or something? I said that to her too which earned me a nice big slap across the face. She didn't seem too impressed with that statement but anyway. She's been fucking riding me since my mum died and it's getting on my nerves, like really fucking bad…<p>

"I can't believe you're here." Emily squealed when I opened the door, throwing herself at me, wrapping her legs around my waist and forcing me back onto the bed. "I've missed you so much." She continued as she leaned down and kissed me quite passionately. The kiss lasted a good 2-3 minutes before she pulled back, her cheeks flushed and displaying a very sexy smile on her face with one hand right up and under her top, the other on her arse... I heard someone clear their throat so I looked around Emily's side to see where it came from.

(Oops.)

I sat up and popped Emily on the bed beside me as I got up and walked over to the door.

"Eh… Sorry about that." I said to the lady covering her 12 year old son's eyes.

"Maybe close the door if you're going to behave like that." The woman said.

I rolled my eyes.

"I said I was sorry. What more do you want?" I said as I slammed the door shut, not really interested in hearing what else she had to say.

I heard Emily giggle and then get up from where she was sitting. I turned around and before I knew what was happening, Emily grabbed me by my belt and dragged me towards the bed. She sat down and crawled up further still facing me, not letting me go. She clutched at my shirt and pulled me down on top of her, her right leg wrapping itself around my hip while she kissed me. She was sexy, there was no denying that. Especially with the way she raised her hips that little bit more and started slowly grinding them against me. She pulled back from the kiss and stared up at me with an innocent look in her eyes. It kind of reminded me of the first time we had been together; it was the same kind of look. She brushed my hair away from my face and stroked my cheek, sliding her hand further down as I leaned over her. Along my chest, over my stomach and then she stopped at my belt. I heard the familiar click it made when it was undone and then she carefully popped the button on my jeans. Something inside of me snapped immediately at that moment and I lifted myself up and got onto my knees as I hurriedly took my top off with Emily putting her hands all over the newly exposed skin, a soft moan escaping her lips. I quickly slid her skirt and underwear off in one go as she undressed the top half of herself. I didn't even bother taking my jeans off. I pushed her further onto the bed, positioning myself immediately between her thighs as I crashed my lips onto hers. I pulled back leaving us both breathless… licking the tips of my fingers before pushing them up into…

"Fuck." Emily gasped as I started to thrust in and out. She wrapped her arms around my back, digging her nails into my skin, her hips rising up off the bed slightly… I picked up the pace.

I think Emily went to say something but I eagerly took her lips with mine… Her eyes had been closed when we began but as I looked down at her, they were wide open. As I continued to kiss her, I heard her mumble something though it sounded more like "MMMM" which wasn't a sound I had heard from her before… She placed her hands on my chest and pushed me up, breaking the kiss.

"Naomi sto…."

I cut her off with another kiss.

"AH FUCK…. FUCK." I yelled after she had really fucking dug her nails into my skin. The pain went away in seconds and it didn't bother me anymore. I put my face down into the crook of her neck as I continued with the rhythm with my hand going harder and faster.

"Stop… Naomi…" she gasped.

I don't know what it was but I couldn't. It was like I couldn't hear her. I was too focused on what I was doing. Why would she want to stop anyway? She never wants to stop… Suddenly I felt pain shoot through my right shoulder…

(She's fuckin' bit me. Wtf?)

"GET OFF ME…" she yelled as she pushed me up again, grabbing my wrist and removing it from her. "What the hell is wrong with you? She added.

I looked at her with a look that clearly said "What the hell is wrong with me? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" but then her body kind of distracted me so I leaned back over her wanting to continue.

"STOP IT NAOMI… FUCKING… JUST STOP." She shrieked as she slapped me.

She crawled up the bed away from me, using the blanket to cover her nakedness as her back hit the bedhead. She was looking at me like I was a stranger that had just broken into her room and tried it on. I didn't like it. It was fucking freaky. I smirked at her and went towards her slowly, grabbing her legs and sliding her back down towards me. The need to have her was something even if I wasn't high would have been extremely difficult to forget about.

"NO Naomi… stop… GET THE FUCK OFF ME." She said, pushing me away hard. I almost fell off the fucking bed.

She used the opportunity to get up off the bed and grab her clothes and quickly get dressed. I walked around the bed slowly approaching her.

"Don't do that." I said gently grabbing her arm to stop her.

She slapped my hand.

"Don't fucking touch me." She yelled, pushing me away.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I spat.

"What is my problem?" She said completely shocked. "Surely, you're not being serious? You were just FUCKING me like some random girl and I'm the one with the fucking problem? Fuck you Naomi." She said as she looked around for her shoes, pulling up her top to cover her bra. She stopped what she was doing and sighed heavily, staring at me angrily.

"I know you've been taking drugs. What did you think Naomi? I wouldn't notice that your pupils were fucking huge? I wouldn't notice the way you were touching me was completely fucking different? How could you treat me like that?"

"Like what Ems? You're my girlfriend yeah?..."

She cut me off, stepping into my space and pushing me into the wall.

"That's not the fucking point is it? I might be your girlfriend but it doesn't mean you can fuck me however you want to."

I laughed. I don't know why but I thought it was hilarious. Emily looked at me with an almost disgusted look spread across her face. She looked hurt too but fuck, what can I do? It's not my fault she was overreacting. Must all chicks be hysterical? Fucking hell.

"You're going a little overboard don't you think, Ems?"

"Sorry?" She spat angrily.

I moved away from the wall and walked around her. She turned and followed me.

"I'm going overboard am I?" She said, crossing her arms and looking at me extremely fucking pissed off.

"Yeah, you are." I said in a calm voice. I sighed heavily. "Look Ems, if you ain't into it, maybe you should piss off back to your cousins. You know my number when the mood takes your fancy."

Her eyes immediately teared up as she stood there frozen in shock and didn't quite know what to say or do. Her mouth opened and closed several times trying to get whatever she was trying to say out but she wasn't able to complete the action. Instead she stormed over towards me and slapped me right across the face. I turned back and smiled at her. Tears were streaming down her face at this point. She looked at me in a way that is hard to describe. I had never seen her look at me that way before and strangely, I felt nothing. I don't know if Emily was staring at me because she was expecting me to say something but I had nothing to say and I suppose she got the message because she sniffled and wiped the tears from her cheeks and left the room, slamming the door behind her that hard… I was surprised the fucking door didn't fly off the hinges.

(Whatever)

I walked over to my bag and searched around for the baggie that had a shit load of oxy's in it. The high I had from the speed was doing my head in and making me feel a little anxious so I was no longer enjoying it. I popped three of those and lay down on the bed and waited for them to take effect. Once they did, I floated away to another place… one that was peaceful and anxiety free. A place I felt warm and fuzzy. A place where I felt safe and comfortable…

* * *

><p>(FUCK)<p>

"Get up Naomi. Right now." Angel said through clenched teeth.

"What the fuc… fuck Angel?"

She looked down towards me so fucking angrily I just stayed still. I couldn't really move anyway, I was well fucked up. Angel stormed off and I thought "Oh good." And started to nod off again but got the shock of my life when I felt a bucket of freezing cold water thrown all over me. Not only that but the water alone didn't seem to satisfy Angel one bit… she just had to toss the bucket at me too. I sat up gasping for air, shivering uncontrollably. Fuck it was cold. I just stared at her blankly. What the fuck did I do for her to be such a fucking bitch? She grabbed my arm violently and dragged me off the bed, me falling to my knees. She let me go and turned around, picking me up by my t-shirt and effectively choking the fuck out of me.

"What the fuck did I say Naomi? WHAT DID I SAY?"

"Huh?" I replied completely confused.

She slapped my right cheek and spoke again.

(People sure love slapping me… how many times is that now over the course of one day?)

"I fucking told you if you hurt her I'd FUCK-ING kill you." She said angrily, spinning me around and slamming me up against the wall.

(Fuck this.)

I broke her grip that was tightly holding onto my shirt and pushed her away, hard. She fell back and landed on her arse. I stepped closer to her and leaned down slightly, venom in my voice when I spoke.

"Back the fuck off Angel."

She got up onto her feet lightning quick and had another go. She was successful. I didn't expect it. All the times we have fought like this, she always backed down when I got serious because not to sound like I'm up myself or anything but she knew I could wipe the floor with her. She didn't seem to care at the moment. We wrestled around for a bit, sometimes she got the better hand, others I got it but it wasn't until she punched me right in the fucking nose was she able to overpower me completely. I instantly felt blood running down my nose, over my lips and finally run off the sides of my face and because I was lying on my back it started running down my throat which caused a bit of a coughing fit. I couldn't fucking see a thing as my eyes watered from being smacked in one of the most sensitive fucking places you could be smacked in. Jesus fucking Christ… When Angel spoke with me cupping my possibly broken nose, she sounded calm. She had decided sit down on top of me to keep me down… I knew what she was doing, forcing me to fucking stay there and listen to her.

"What did you do to her Naomi? She called me bawling her fucking eyes out because of you. What the fuck did you do?"

"I didn't…"

She slapped my hand, the one I was using to hold my nose, forcing me to hit it.

"AH FUCKING… FUCKS SAKE." I screamed in pain. "You fucking bitch."

She leaned down closer and wrapped a hand around my throat, lifting my head back. She wasn't squeezing all that tight but what she was doing was making the blood drip back down into my throat causing me to choke a little.

"Angel, stop it."

I turned my head as soon as I was able to after Angel removed her grip from around my neck. It was Emily. She walked over towards me, pushing Angel away gently motioning her to move away. She kneeled down beside me, her eyes filled with hurt and sorrow and unshed tears. I sat up and leaned up against the end of the bed, still sitting on the floor bringing my knees to my chest as I pinched my nose. Emily looked around the room and spotted a towel sitting folded neatly on a chair by the bathroom. Emily stood up and walked over to collect the towel. She quickly went into the bathroom and run it under warm water and returned beside me. She removed my hand gently away from my face and dabbed around my nose, taking off the blood that had stained my skin.

"Why didn't you tell me Naoms?" Emily whispered so low that I had to strain my ears to hear her.

"Tell you what?" I replied, acting dumb. Fucking Angel and her big fucking mouth.

Emily sighed, she looked up at Angel and I followed her gaze. Angel shrugged her shoulders at Emily as if to say "She's being an idiot."

"About your mum Naomi… why didn't you say anything?" Emily said a little louder as she continued to wipe the blood from my face.

I didn't say anything. I just stared blankly at Emily. I wasn't sure why I didn't tell her. I mean a normal person would tell there girlfriend yeah? They would want support, comfort and all that shit that goes along with it. A shoulder to cry on. Maybe that's why I didn't tell her… Maybe my fucked up brain thought if I didn't tell her, I wouldn't have to deal with the "I'm sorry." And the hugging and the crying from her because she did love my mum. It would have made her sad too ya know? I didn't want to deal with it I suppose. I just wanted to forget it happened, get rid of the massive guilt I was feeling over the whole thing and be in a place where I felt somewhat comfortable and if that meant getting shitfaced, then that's what I was going to fucking do… I didn't want to talk about it so I tried to distract her from it.

"Thought you were pissed at me Ems?" I chuckled.

I saw her stare go serious, I saw her eyes have a different kind of hurt and sorrow as she reflected back on what had happened earlier in the day when she was here.

"I'm still hurt Naomi but that can wait for now." She said in a way that told me she was definitely revisiting it at a later date but it wasn't quite as important as the conversation she was trying to have with me now.

I looked away as I saw the distress in Emily's eyes. She knew I was hurting terribly. My behaviour earlier making sense to her. Even I could see what I had done wrong. How was she able to melt the ice that surrounded me with just one fucking look? I looked away, not being able to look her in the eye after I started to feel fucking terrible for how I treated her. Thoughts of my mum started to creep into my mind which didn't help me either. I saw my mums face, looking at me disappointedly for hurting Emily the way I did. Then I started to think about my mum and finding her lying on the grass in our backyard, cold, breathless and dead. Emily placed a gentle hand under my chin as I bit my bottom lip to suppress the tears I could feel on the horizon. Angel cleared her throat softly and walked over towards where Emily and me were sitting. She placed a hand on Emily's shoulder and said while she glared at me "I'll just be outside if you need me." Her voice was kind and soft but her stare that was directed at me told a different story. It was a look that was easy to read. "Don't make me have to come back in here…" and I knew she meant it. I wasn't going to do anything though. Somehow Emily was able to break down all the barriers I had put up almost instantly. I don't know how she could do that but she did. I guess no matter what, my heart really does belong to her and I think she was able to see it in that moment. The tears fell silently down her cheeks as she came a little a closer and wrapped her arms around me tightly. Me, who had turned into a fucking fairy since I had met Emily, broke down into a puddle of tears against her neck as I buried my face deeper. The scent of her provided me some comfort. It was familiar. It was home. You know when you're a kid and your Nan baked your favourite cookies every time you went and visited? Then life takes over and everyone starts getting older and your Nan is no longer around but one day out of nowhere you walk into a shop or something and you smell those exact same cookies just like your nan used to bake and a flood of memories come back to you. You can't help but sniff in deeper and a warm and fuzzy feeling sweeps throughout your entire body and wish you could take that scent away so you always have it around you? That's what it's like for me with Emily. When I smell her perfume, her shampoo. When I feel her arms around me… I just want to stay in that moment forever and take it with me wherever I go because I only ever feel good…

(Shut up Naomi… fucking hell. Are you listening to yourself? You're a sobbing mess. It's embarrassing.)

I told myself to shut the fuck up. I squeezed Emily tighter, forcing her to basically sit on me. She was crying too now. I know the news of my mother passing away would have hurt her deeply. She adored my mum and my mum adored her. Not only that but how I treated Emily earlier would have hurt her just as much and her reaction, even though she didn't know what had happened, she would be feeling incredibly guilty and it was all my doing. I've made her feel this way. I always seem to fuck up. Make a mess of things…

"I'm so sorry Ems… I didn't me…"

"It's okay Naoms." She said, cutting me off and squeezing me tighter. "We'll get through this…" She finished as she placed a soft and tender kiss on my neck. "We'll get through this…" she repeated reassuringly.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you all enjoyed the chapter and with a bit of luck I will have the next one up very soon :)<strong>

**Until next time, take care.**

**Lyrics used in this chapter if anyone is interested are from the songs...**

**- Get It Up - TLC**

**- California Dreamin' - The Mamas And The Papas**

**- Am I Evil? - Metallica**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Lives We Lead**

**VII**

**A/N: Before we start, I would like to thank each and every one of you for the awesome reviews. Even to this day, they still put a huge arse smile on my face :D **** - exactly like that. I'm really glad you are all enjoying it. I thought maybe because it had been so long, the story would have been forgotten about and no one would read the update but how wrong was I ey? Lol, very wrong it would seem so a big THANK YOU to you all and seen you have all looked after me, I will try my very best to look after you and get these updates to you in a timely fashion. How does that sound? Good I hope lol. Okay, enough of me rambling on, I'll only embarrass myself. Here is the next instalment of The Lives We Lead…**

**Side Note: There is a new story out by a very good friend of mine. If you like a good thriller, check it out. It's titled "While You Sleep" by Beck89 and HUGE bonus… plenty of Naomily sexy time. Yeah, I knew you would all like that. Pervs. You should be ashamed of yourselves :P**

**P.S. Skins Fire never happened okay? Good.**

* * *

><p>What is happening exactly? I just don't understand it. Why have the police not kicked down my door, thrown me on the ground and slapped a pair of handcuffs onto my wrists? I was waiting for it over in Dover but it never came. I checked the papers, I watched the news. There was nothing. I've been home now for two weeks and still nothing. Darren, Angel's brother has gotten his car back and the insurance has paid for it to get fixed. To say I was confused about the whole situation would be an understatement. Surely the police would be looking for me. It just doesn't make any sense. It really doesn't. I mean, I know the guy wasn't dead when Angel and me left him there and if he did end up dying from the injury I caused, that would have been ALL over the news because the cops would be looking for a murderer. The only thing I can possibly think of that would make a little sense as to why I haven't been sought after is that the guy has woken up and hasn't been able to remember what we look like therefore the police have nothing to go by. I had wiped down Darren's car as best I could but even if our prints did show up on a door handle or window, it wouldn't matter because as its Darren's car and Angel is his sister and me being a friend who is regularly in that car, it is only natural that our fingerprints be there. I mean obviously the guy is alright. I think the police have decided that it's a case that isn't going to be solved so they've dropped it… I hope. I got word back on my mother not long after I returned back to Bristol. She had passed away due to having a massive heart attack. Apparently and not to my knowledge, mum had had one a couple of years ago although it was mild. I can't believe she didn't tell me. That really hurt. Was I really that much of a shitty daughter that she felt she couldn't tell me these things? I tried desperately to answer the question myself and I know I wasn't perfect but mum did tell me everything else that was happening in our lives so in order for me to make some kind of peace with it, I came to the conclusion that she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to worry. I could live with that answer…<p>

Anyway, after what had happened between Emily and me when we were in Dover, well she has been a little distant with me. Not distant in the way of staying away. She sees me every day and she's been a great help since my mum passed away, she's even slept over when she could. She's been a really good friend but that's the problem. I think I really fucked up this time. I don't want Emily as just a friend especially after having her as my girlfriend. I mean, I don't blame her for not wanting to be intimate with me because what I did to her was just completely fucked up. I know she doesn't hate me because if she did she wouldn't be helping me get through being without my mum but I don't think she trusts me anymore. It really fucking bothers me too because she can. I try to talk to her about what happened but it seems like she can't or doesn't want to because she changes the subject. I don't push her into talking so I just let her go but like, I don't even know if she forgives me for treating her like that. Actually, I don't even forgive myself so realistically I shouldn't expect her to. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea at the time. Well that's kind of a lie, I do. I was being selfish and I was only thinking about what I wanted. I apologise for being vulgar but all I wanted was a fuck. I didn't want the deep and meaningful kissing. I didn't want to whisper "I love you." I didn't want the eye contact, the gentle caressing, the soft touches and little nibbles here and there. I didn't want to hug afterwards, I didn't want to kiss tenderly after she came and have her look at me all lovingly and adoringly. I didn't want any of that. I just wanted to get my rocks off, climb off her, get dressed and leave without saying a word and I'm a fucking idiot. Being high isn't even an excuse. My mum passing away, that isn't either. I don't care that I was hurting or whatever, I know I should never have done that to Emily. Someone else, some random, yeah I couldn't care less but Emily, my Emily… I'm a fucking mess. Just thinking about this shit makes me want to cry. It fucking makes me physically sick. How does someone treat the one they love with all their heart in such a way? How the fuck does that happen? I'm not perfect, no one is but fuck me, I'm a fucking disgrace. I shouldn't even be allowed to love Emily. I don't deserve her. I just fucking proved it, didn't I? Treating her like some slag I picked up at a club on Saturday night. It's completely and totally fucked up. At the beginning, just after it happened I was thinking that Emily was overreacting about the whole thing. I thought it was okay what I did because she was my girlfriend and as long as I didn't stray and sleep with someone else, it was fine. I even compared other times we had slept together. It wasn't always slow and tender. There have been times we had been like rabbits. Many times but those times we had been frantic and eager to make each other feel good didn't compare to what I had done in Dover. Even though we had loved each other 'good and proper', it has never ever come close to just a fuck. It was still passionate, it was still loving. It wasn't cold and emotionless and selfish.

"Hey." I said as I approached the table Emily was sitting at.

Emily had insisted on having a coffee and some lunch at this place. She felt that I had been locked up behind closed doors for too long and she didn't want me turning into a hermit. "Fresh air and a different setting will do you good." she had said. I didn't really want to leave the house but how could I say no to her? It's impossible.

She smiled sweetly at me and responded with her own "Hey." as I slid out a chair and sat down. She waved her hand at the cup that was sitting in front of me.

"I ordered you a short black though it might be a little cold now seen you took your time getting here." She said chuckling.

"Sorry, I lost track… thanks." I said flatly.

I heard Emily sigh heavily before she spoke.

"I haven't heard from you in a few days… have you been okay?" She asked concerned.

I nodded as I took a sip of the warm coffee. Emily was a little light on the sugar so I added another satchel and gave it a stir. I fumbled around inside my pocket for a lighter as I took a packet of smokes out. I offered one over to Emily who didn't fancy a smoke and lit one for myself. I took a huge drag and left it inside my lungs for a good few seconds before exhaling. It gave me a little head spin but fuck did the hit of nicotine feel good. It was needed.

"Did you just need some time to yourself?" She asked inquisitively.

"Yeah." I replied. "I didn't want any company."

She looked at me worriedly but she nodded. She didn't seem happy with the answer, well that was the feeling I got anyways.

"Are you hungry Naoms?" She asked somewhat hopefully.

"No." I replied shaking my head. "But you eat."

"What if I ordered a bowl of wedges with some sweet chilli sauce? Would you pick at those?" She asked.

"I dunno Ems, maybe."

"Okay, I'll order that." She responded as she sat up and reached over to grab my coffee cup. "Here… don't drink that. It probably tastes like shit. I'll order you a fresh one okay?"

"Okay." I agreed pulling out my wallet to give her some money.

"No, don't be silly Naoms… it's on me." She said with a cheeky wink.

She was trying to make me smile. I admit, it worked. She over exaggerated the wink and had I not been feeling so down, I would have laughed hysterically. The way she moved her mouth and her body as she winked was fucking hilarious… I watched her as she approached the counter and spoke to the waitress who in my opinion was looking at Emily a little too hard. I didn't like it. I had gone into a daze and was that focused on the chick at the counter; I didn't even notice that Emily had come back.

"Naoms?... Naomi?"

"Huh?" I said looking up at her.

Emily looked down at my hand with a look I couldn't really read. I guess the first thing that comes to mind is "What the fuck?"

"Are you alright?" She asked.

I looked at my hand, the one she was looking at.

(OOPS)

I had picked up a knife from the table without even fucking realising and was squeezing it that hard my knuckles had turned completely white. I cleared my throat and let go of the knife, putting my hands on my lap away from anything sharp. To be fair though, if there was a banana sitting on the table where the knife was, it would have been that I was holding.

(No, I'm not okay. I didn't fucking like the way that bitch was eyeing you.)

"I um… yeah I'm okay." I said slightly agitated.

(Whoa Naoms… take it down a notch. Jesus fucking Christ. Happy thoughts yeah?... Crazy bitch.)

Emily didn't say anything. She just pulled her chair out and sat down looking at me strangely.

"Are you still… have you still been…"

"What?" I said.

She sighed.

"Have you still been using drugs? You seem extremely edgy."

"Can we not talk about that right now?" I asked, fed up with everyone worrying about what I was doing. I was copping it off Angel as well.

"Naomi, I'm fucking worried about you…"

"I'm fine Ems, really… I am. You can stop worrying now okay?"

Emily rolled her eyes at me.

"Yes Naomi, you're fine. Right as fucking rain." She replied sarcastically.

I didn't say anything. I really wasn't in the mood for this shit. It was starting to feel like I was getting picked on. I couldn't move or do a God damn thing without someone questioning me and to be quite honest even if it was Emily doing the asking, it was driving me mental… The waitress from the counter had strolled over with a small tray that had the bowl of wedges and two coffees that Emily had ordered before. She looked at me and said "Short black?" I nodded, squinting at her a little. I really didn't like her. She turned to Emily and a huge fucking smile spread across her face as she placed the other coffee in front of Emily and the bowl of chips.

"Do you need anything else?" The tart asked Emily.

Emily looked at me quickly and seemed nervous when she saw the look on my face. She looked up at the waitress smiling and said "No thank you. We're fine"

"Are you sure?"

"You heard her. Piss off yeah…" I interrupted.

The waitress turned to me with a shocked expression on her face.

"Excuse me?" She said.

"Piss-Off." I repeated.

Emily reached over the table and placed a hand over my arm to get my attention.

"Naomi…"

I stood up, my chair screeching against the concrete as it slid out behind me. I wasn't in the fucking mood for this shit.

"You have three seconds." I said glaring at her. "One…two…" I stepped around the table as I went to say three… but she fucked off to my disappointment. She had made me angry and now I was left with that anger… I had no outlet. I needed something to punch, her face preferably.

"Jesus Naomi… What the HELL was that?"

"Nothing." I said as I sat back down.

"Nothing? Are you sure about that because from where I was sitting it looked like you were about to kill her." Emily said quickly.

I shrugged as I placed two sugars into my coffee and gave it a quick stir before taking a sip. I could feel Emily's eyes burning into me. I knew she wouldn't drop it.

"I didn't…" I stopped to clear my throat. "I didn't like the way she was looking at you okay? Now can we like move on. She's crawled back into her hole so…"

"Naomi." Emily said. "She is a waitress. It's called customer service. They have to smile, they have to be polite. It's their job."

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, eye fucking is a part of that job description too ey?" I replied dryly.

"Oh my God, she was not…"

"Ems, you wouldn't know if someone was tryin' it on with you if it was happening right in front of your face."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean Naomi?" Emily said defensively. "I'm not experienced enough to know the difference? Fuck you." She finished standing up, collecting her bag and storming off hurriedly.

"Lovely." I sighed heavily to myself.

I stood up and went in the direction Emily was going. She had gained a lot of distance and it was plain to see that she wanted to get as far away from me as possible. I had to jog just to catch up with her. For someone who had shorter legs than me, she could certainly move quickly. I reached out and grabbed her arm and tugged it lightly for her to stop.

"Wait, Ems… I didn't mean that."

She stopped abruptly with me almost slamming into her.

"Then what did you mean Naomi? We both know I have only ever been with you so tell me what the fuck did you mean by what you said?" She replied raising her voice towards the end. She looked a little hurt.

"Emily I swear I didn't mean that." I said panicked, placing my right hand over my heart as if I was about to sing the National Anthem for the United States of America. "I just meant that…" I paused and sighed. "I meant that you just don't notice when someone is looking at you like that, that's all. It has nothing to do with experience…"

Emily took what I said but there was something else in her eyes. She was still fiery…

"Maybe I should start noticing then seen as you haven't touched me in 2 weeks." She bit back, storming off again.

(Here we go… cat and mouse.)

I run up to her and pulled her back again although I admit it wasn't exactly gentle.

"I don't fucking think so." I growled angrily.

"Why not Naomi? You don't want to fuck me, so I might as well let someone else." She said in a seductive tone which infuriated me.

I fucking hated when she spoke like that. I hated her using the word "fuck" to describe what we do to each other. She knew it too. Was she really trying to fucking wind me up?

"Oh silly me… you already have, haven't you? Remember hun, at the hotel?"

(How the fuck did we go from a slutty waitress to this?)

"FOR FUCKS SAKE EMILY…" I paused. I was too angry. I needed a quick second to get myself under control. "Emily, I'm sorry okay? I really fucking am. I've tried to talk to you about what happened but you don't want to hear it."

She ignored me completely.

"Hmm…" She hummed deep in thought. "You know I might just go back and get her number…" She said. Her tone sounding a little too interested for my liking.

I looked at her in shock as she actually started to walk back towards the café, swinging her hips all sexy like. What the fuck she was playing at? Does she not realise how fucking angry she is making me right now? She knows what I'm like when provoked like this. She knows if she says one word to that fucking slag behind the counter, that bitch is dead. The waitress I mean just to clear that up… Yeah okay, I'm psychotic. I need help, I have anger problems. I don't give a fuck because Emily is mine.

I walked casually, watching Emily like a hawk as she got closer to the café expecting her to stop and turn back around and walk back towards me. She didn't. I bolted. I reached Emily right before she got there, the waitress had spotted her and was already making her way over but boy did she change her mind when she saw me. The look on her face told me she needed a new change of underwear. I dragged Emily towards me and picked her up causing her to shriek. I swung her over my shoulder and walked us both away from that shitty little coffee shop.

"PUT ME DOWN NAOMI." She yelled.

"No." I said calmly. "You might get lost along the way home." I added sarcastically.

"LET ME GO." She screamed, trying to wiggle free.

"Ems, stop it. If I drop you, you'll know about it." I replied.

(Eh, maybe I should put her down. I'm drawing a crowd and it probably looks like I'm kidnapping her.)

I walked a few more metres along the street and turned down a lane. I didn't want to put her down in the middle of a busy road and cause more of a scene when she started screaming at me. I walked us further down the lane and when I was satisfied we were far enough to not really be heard by the many wankers who had now decided to poke their heads into the entrance to get a sticky beak, I bent my knees slightly and allowed her to slide off my shoulder.

_**SLAP**_

"Next time I tell you to let me go, you fuck-ing let me go…" She yelled.

I didn't say anything. I just stared at her not quite knowing what to say. What had just happened had me speechless. Emily had never acted like that before and the fact that she actually went back to see the waitress. I was like "Whoa, what the fuck?"

"Emily, what the hell has gotten into you?"

"Not you, that's for sure." She snapped back.

Okay, if you could all see my face right now, you would probably laugh your arses off but fuck… it isn't funny. It was the look of shock horror. I mean, Jesus Christ… who was this person in front of me? It looked like Emily; it smelt like Emily, it sounded like Emily but fucking hell… My Emily doesn't speak like that.

"I… um… what?" I replied. It was pathetic but that's all I could manage to say.

"You heard me Naomi. These last two weeks you have acted like you don't give a fuck about me and I have tried my absolute best to be there for you."

"But…"

"But what? What the fuck could you possibly say?" She screamed. "I guess now since you've had me in the way you wanted, I am no longer your girlfriend then? The thought of touching me repulses you because in that fucked up brain of yours I let you so that means I'm just another slut walking the streets? FUCK-YOU. Leave me alone."

"Emily, fuck… Don't." I said as she tried to walk away AGAIN for what felt like the hundredth time. "I fucking tried to talk to you about it… you know I fucking did." I added completely fucking panicked. I felt under pressure. My hands were trembling terribly.

"When Naomi? When did you seriously sit me down and try to talk to me about what happened?"

"I… um, last…"

She raised her eyebrow at me.

"When?" She repeated.

(Fuck, I don't remember.)

"I… I don't know." I admitted.

"You know why you don't know? Because you haven't even fuck-ing attempted it. THAT'S why."

(No way.)

I stared at her, frowning as I tried to remember. I was sure I tried to bring it up. Of course I would have. This is Emily we're talking about. No, I definitely did. There is no fucking way I didn't try.

"I don't remember when Emily but I fucking remember you changing the subject..."

"What were we talking about Naomi when that happened? Can you tell me that?" She said folding her arms.

(Ummmm…)

Have I been that fucked up these last two weeks? That so far inside my own head that I actually thought and believed that I had tried to talk to her about what had happened back in Dover?

She cut in on my silence.

"The only way I can get you to talk to me is when we argue. I shouldn't have to Naomi. I shouldn't have to drag it out of you like this. If you loved me, you would want to fix this but instead you stay quiet. I can't read your mind. I don't know what you're thinking. I wish I fucking could because this would be so much easier…" she said completely frustrated.

She paused and the look of frustration turned into something much worse. She looked scared.

"Do you still want me?" She said sadly.

And there it was my heart shattering into a million little pieces within seconds. The pain I felt in my chest cavity actually hurt like a motherfucker. It caused me to hunch forward slightly. She has been blaming herself this whole time as if it was her fault. It broke my fucking heart. How could she think that I wouldn't want her after what happened? It should be the other way around. I should be the one who is stressing about that, whether she still wants ME or not… I stepped forward towards her slowly with her putting her hands on my chest to stop me from coming any further. I didn't stop. I delicately took her hands and removed them from my chest and took another step. She was trying so hard not to break down in tears but the tears were coming whether she liked it or not. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer into me, squeezing her tight. I kissed the top of her head firmly, making sure she could feel it.

"Of course I still want you." I whispered. "It was my fault Emily, what happened. Don't you dare think it was something you did wrong, okay?"

She nodded as she cried into my shoulder. I would be lying if I said I didn't shed a silent tear. I couldn't help it. I fucking hated crying but when Emily is hurting the way she is you would have to be made of stone to not be effected by it. I pulled her back slightly so I could see her face and look her in the eye. She would know I was telling the truth if she could see my eyes.

"Emily, I swear on my life that I will never do that to you again… never okay?" I declared as I tenderly wiped the tears from her eyes with my thumb. "I love you." I emphasised.

"I thought you…" She paused when her voice cracked with emotion. "You made no attempt… I thought you had enough of me… you've been so cold lately… I…"

"Shhh." I shushed soothingly. She was starting to ramble.

I leaned in and pecked the tip of her nose.

"Ems, look at me."

It took a few seconds but finally she did.

"Unfortunately for you…" I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. "You're stuck with me." I said with a light smirk on my face.

Although she was still teary eyed, she did manage a chuckle and I was awarded one of her smiles. It was a teary smile but the darkness had lifted. My chest didn't feel so tight upon seeing that. Had this gone on for much longer, I think I would have been hyperventilating terribly.

(Oh thank fuck)

I pulled her in again and gave her a heartfelt hug, kissing her tenderly on the neck. I positioned my mouth near her ear and whispered…

"I want you to come home with me."

"Naomi, I don't think…"

I knew what she was going to say… I stopped her.

"Not for that… so we can talk proper." I stated.

"Okay." She nodded pulling back and wiping her eyes. "I would like that." She added.

I smiled hugely at her. It wasn't meant to be that big but I was just so fucking relieved that we were on the way to sorting through this. I felt like I could actually breathe. I took her hand tenderly and kissed her knuckles as I pulled her gently towards home. We didn't speak during the walk but we didn't need to. It was a comfortable silence and it gave us both time to calm down and think about the things we wanted or needed to say to one another.

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><p>WHOA is all I have to say. That afternoon I took Emily home to talk was un-fucking-believable. We talked for a good hour, maybe it was two and we sorted everything out so I'm just going to skip to what happened next. I'm still walking on a cloud because of it AND before you say anything, I did behave myself. I meant what I said about talking but how could I possibly say no to Emily when she came over and stood in front of me, took my hand and walked me upstairs to my bedroom? How could I say no when she gently pushed me down onto the bed and straddled me? I really did try to stop it because I wasn't sure if it was the best idea and if Emily was really ready to do this but when she rocked seductively against me and leaned down further, whispering for me to make love to her… I was a goner. Any resolve I had went straight out the fucking window. It went on for hours. I couldn't get enough of her. At first, I kept the pace slow. I loved her for a good hour and a half before I allowed her to go over the edge. By the time that happened, her cheeks were completely flushed, even the tip of her nose was glowing red. She was trembling all over as her body begged for release but I made her wait for it. I wanted her to feel good for as long as possible. At times I picked up the pace a little to get her closer to the inevitable but when she got too worked up, I would slow right down again. She would make a noise in protest wanting me to keep going. At one stage she even bit my bottom lip, quite hard I might add when she got frustrated but I know even though she was aching for it, she also loved the way I took my time with her. When I decided that I had kept her waiting long enough I kissed her passionately, only pulling away because she needed to breathe. When she knew exactly what I was up to, knowing that I was going to give her what she was craving right at that very moment, she wrapped her legs around me tightly and pulled me impossibly close to her as I used my hips to thrust my hand. Her own hips were rocking up against me eagerly as I crossed the point of no return. Her back arched, her nails dug into the skin of my back leaving claw marks across my shoulder blades. I couldn't take my eyes off of her when she come undone and lost control. She groaned loudly as soon as that explosion tore through her entire body causing her to tense up and cling onto me incredibly tight. Her hips kept moving and showed no signs of slowing down so I kept going. She raised a hand and put it to the back of my neck and stole a kiss from me, panting wildly and clutching a hand full of hair as another orgasm ripped through her while she cried out my name. It was truly a beautiful sight.<p>

It took her a good amount of time to recover from that and while she did, I explored her body further. She liked it when I touched her all over and trailed my hands on every inch of her skin. I was fascinated how my touch still after all this time left goose bumps in the places I roamed. I followed wherever my hands went with my eyes as if I was hypnotised. I licked my lips wanting to taste her desperately. I kissed her passionately slow before I descended down, kissing her neck, her collarbone, her chest… I stopped at her breasts, giving her nipples extra attention before I continued down kissing her across her stomach. She ran her hands through my hair as I got closer to her middle, a gasp escaping her lips when I lightly touched her in a sensitive spot with the tip of my tongue. That same spot I knew would soon be ready and waiting for me to wrap my lips around while my tongue gently massaged. She couldn't get enough and neither could I. I was only planning on teasing her lightly because after those two orgasms… well, I was thinking she would be a little too sensitive for a few minutes at minimum but obviously not because when I had got to that place only I had ever been, she lifted her hips slightly off the bed and pushed me down into her… It went on like this all through the afternoon and with only an hour's sleep in between, it went well into the early hours of the morning until we both physically couldn't take it anymore. It was even a struggle to get into a comfortable spot so after Emily had just finished in a straddling position, she collapsed on top of me exhausted. She slurred an "I love you" before she blacked out completely still quite breathless. I moved her a little to the side and put her legs straight, holding her close to me as I closed my own eyes and tried to drift off to sleep with her. I heard her mumble "I was comfortable." which made me chuckle. She actually wanted to sleep on top of me like that? One of us if not both would have ended up with serious cramps in the morning but I thought it was cute. She moved her leg up lazily and bent it at the knee so it rested over my hips, her arm across my stomach clutching tightly at my side and her face buried in the crook of my neck. I felt her softly kiss the skin there before she went back into the land of nod. I followed soon after content, fully satisfied and fucking ecstatic. I fell asleep with the goofiest looking grin on my face and I know it was still there while I slept because yep, you guessed it. It was there when I woke up... I'm embarrassed to even say this because ya know, it's just not me but it was fucking magical. It always was with Emily and it's only ever been that way with her. She is and always will be the only one. There was no denying it. No matter what, it will only ever be Emily.

* * *

><p>It had been a while since I had seen Katie. In fact because I no longer went to school I hardly saw her these days but I had received a call from her earlier in the week wanting to catch up so tonight, Ems, Angel and me are meeting Katie at an old haunt of hers. It's supposed to be a really popular club but what do I know? I haven't been to one for that long, it's not even funny. I've almost been domesticated. Go on, laugh. I know you want to. I blame Emily because all I want to do is lounge around the house all day with her right beside me.<p>

After Emily and me had some um, private time together and decided we'd better get ready because we were late enough as it was, we met up with Angel. She was dressed up to the nines and no doubt out for the kill tonight. I had no doubt she would have all kinds of girls lining up for her attention. The thought made me chuckle and remember the times her and me used to go out together and get up to no good.

"What was that?" Angel asked with an eyebrow cocked.

"What?" I replied still chuckling slightly.

"THAT! Are you laughing at what I'm wearing? What's wrong with it?" She asked sounding offended as she looked down at her own clothes.

"Nothing… I was just… You look fine. Hot even." I replied.

_**WHACK**_

"Um ouch." I said after Emily hit me in the stomach. "What was that for?"

"Just remember who your girlfriend is." Emily said playfully.

Angel laughed.

"Oh Ems… trust me when I say this but she is sooo fucking whipped, I doubt it would be something she would forget so easily."

"Oi… I am not." I butted in.

This time both Emily and Angel laughed. I looked at Emily seriously.

"Okay… that's it. You're gone…"

I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer. She shrieked and then started laughing hysterically when I started to tickle her along her ribs.

"OH MY GOD… NAOMI… HAHAHAHAHA STOP IT… OH IT HURTS… STOP HAHAHAHAHAHA."

I continued to torture her a little while longer and then stopped leaving her completely flushed and breathless.

"You are such a prick." She breathed and chuckled at the same time. "You know I hate that."

"Don't lie." I said smirking. "You love it."

I heard Angel clear her throat.

"So, I'm guessing you two have kissed and made up then?"

I turned and looked at Emily and winked at her.

"You have no i…" She covered my mouth, her face an even brighter red.

"Don't you dare Naoms…" She said sounding slightly embarrassed.

"Aw Ems, you just gave it away… I know what you've been doing." She said teasingly, nudging Emily's shoulder with her own.

"I… ARGH." Emily said frustrated. "I hate you both."

I was laughing like a lunatic as Emily displayed an expression that said "I am sooooo fucking embarrassed right now." Angel stood beside Emily and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"It's okay Ems, I was only teasing." Angel said pausing for a moment. "So… how was it?"

"OH MY GOD… I refuse to answer that. You are just as bad as Naomi." Emily replied quickly.

"Okay, okay… enough Ang. She's copped enough for one night." I interjected.

"Oh I bet she has Naoms…" Angel replied with a huge fucking smirk on her face. She's such a smart arse sometimes.

Emily who had been as quiet as a mouse spoke out of nowhere.

"Yes, SHE did Angel… and it was VERY very good."

"Hey, I was better than good." I said wiggling my eyebrows.

Emily rolled her eyes.

"Yes Naoms, okay. You were absolutely fantastic." She replied sarcastically.

"I know." I said with a wink. "I could tell… especially by the way you…"

She cut me off.

"Don't you dare say another word Naomi Campbell."

"Ooooh Naoms, I think you got yourself into trouble now babes." Angel laughed.

I pulled Emily closer to me and kissed her on the lips by surprise. She resisted at first. Ya know, trying to act all pissed off at me but it didn't last long. As soon as I ran my tongue along her bottom lip she immediately responded, kissing me back excitedly and whimpering into the kiss. I pulled back looking smug with Emily looking as if she wanted to run home and throw herself backwards onto the bed and scream "Take me now."

"Will you bitches hurry the fuck up? I'm freezing my tits off." Katie yelled from across the road.

"KATIEKINS." I yelled back excitedly. She rolled her eyes as if she wasn't really happy to see me but I knew she was. The smile on her face gave her away.

We all jogged across the road once the coast was clear and joined Katie. I ran up to her and picked her up and hugged the life out of her.

"In your dreams lezza." She said when I put her down.

I will say, I didn't realise how much I actually missed Katie but it turns out it was a lot.

"I know you missed me Katie… stop pretending." I said.

She looked at me without saying a word. She looked disgusted.

"Maybe a bit." She replied. She stuck her finger out at me. "But that's all your getting muff muncher."

I pretended to snap at her finger with my teeth and grinned massively at her with her making a similar "Argh" sound to what Emily had made not more than 5 minutes ago. Everyone made the rounds, saying hello and what not and after that Katie informed us she knew the bouncer and that was very well by the look of things. We were all forced to stand there and watch them stick their tongues down each other's throat. Emily, Angel and me sounding an "ew" at the same time. It was kind of gross.

"Shut the fuck up." Katie said as she spun around grabbing her sister's hand and dragging her behind her into the club.

Angel looked at me and laughed.

"It's okay Naoms. You only have to lend Emily for a few hours."

I squinted at her which caused her to laugh even harder. Was it that obvious that I was already feeling like I would have a shit night because Katie took Emily and that she would probably want to spend the night with her sister which meant that I couldn't? What the fuck is happening to me? What happened to independent Naomi? Emily has turned into an addiction. I swear she has. The minute she leaves my side, I go into withdrawals. I have turned into a sad, sad SAD fucking loved up loser.

We walked into the club through the same entrance as Katie and Emily did. I hadn't realised but it was the V.I.P. section. Any wonder she put us through that little tongue wrestling show. I scrunched my face up at revisiting the memory. Yeah, not something I want to remember for the rest of my days. Anyway, I laughed when I heard the type of songs they were playing. Turns out it was RnB/Hip Hop night. I honestly thought Katie hated this kind of music. She was always giving me shit about it.

.

… _**Listen, yo ass is about to be missin'**_

_**You know who gon' find you? Who? Some old man fishin'**_

_**Grandma wishin' your soul's at rest**_

_**But it's hard to digest with the size of the hole in yo chest**_

_**Y'all gon' make me lose my mind**_

_**Up in here, up in here**_

_**Y'all gon' make me go all out**_

_**Up in here, up in here**_

_**Y'all gon' make me act a fool**_

_**Up in here, up in here**_

_**Y'all gon' make me lose my cool**_

_**Up in here, up in here**_

.

HAHA, nothing like the old school classics. I found myself getting right into it along with everybody else. It had been so long since I had heard this song. Angel grabbed my hand and dragged me onto the dance floor all excitedly.

"OH MY GOD NAOMS… remember this song?"

I nodded with a huge smile on my face as she started to dance around me acting all gangsta-rish.

.

_**Hold up! Errrrr**_

_**One, two, meet me outside**_

_**Meet me outside, meet me outside**_

_**ALL MY RUFF RYDERS gon' meet me outside**_

_**Meet me outside, meet me outside**_

_**ALL MY BIG BALLERS, gon' meet me outside**_

_**Meet me outside, meet me outside**_

_**ALL MY FLY LADIES, gon' meet me outside**_

_**Meet me outside, meet me outside**_

_**ALL MY STREET, STREET PEOPLES meet me outside**_

_**Meet me outside, outside motherfucker**_

_**X is got y'all bouncin' again**_

_**Bouncin' again, bounce, bouncin' again…**_

.

I couldn't stop laughing at the way Angel was moving around me. She was imitating me. Years ago we had gone out together to this underground club and had gotten into a spot of trouble. I was dealing at the time. Not full on but when I needed some money to help mum out with the bills so we wouldn't be without electricity or gas. Anyways, this particular night this dude approached me accusing ME of selling his girlfriend baby powder. I don't fucking thing so. If I was selling, I never fucked with other peoples drugs. That was like my number one rule. As you could imagine, he wasn't exactly a happy camper so he got right up into my face. I looked around for Angel because I starting to think I might need a bit of a hand with the situation. Although she was on her way over, she was still a little too far away… He grabbed me by my clothing and pushed me hard up against the wall of the club. It felt like the bastard nearly broke my back. He was lifting me slightly to the point of me being on my tippy toes. He was demanding his money back and I felt that his handling of the situation was quite rude. I ignored him completely and started singing along to the song that was on, the same one that was just on like 2 minutes ago. "Ya'll gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here…" He let me go and stepped back, looked around at the Spector's and started laughing. "Are you's all seeing this? She's fuckin' cracked." I stepped forward immediately and head butted the prick right in the face. Silly boy should never have 1) Been that close to me and 2) Taken his eyes off of the 'enemy'. BIG mistake is all I can say. I felt his nose break against the crown of my skull which made me shiver in slight disgust by the way it just felt like it crumbled. Terrible feeling that was but I guess it was for him too as he dropped to his knees screaming in agony "AHHHH YOU FUCKING MENTAL BITCH." I pushed him onto the floor and stepped over him and walked over to Angel like nothing had happened, still singing along to the song that was playing, gangsta lean and all… I was such a dickhead but at the time I thought I might as well make a show of it seen everyone was watching.

"Do you mind if I cut in?" Emily said as she wrapped her arms around my waist, snapping me back to the present.

Angel who can be quite comical at times reached over and grabbed a random girl by the wrist who was dancing with a group of her friends and spun her around towards her. The poor girl nearly had a heart attack but when she looked at Angel who had a huge grin on her face and then winked, the girl seemed to relax and started to dance with her. It looked so funny.

"Go for your life Ems." She yelled over the music wiggling her eyebrows as she put both her hands on the chicks arse and pulled her in closer as she swayed.

.

_**Okay, she headed to the dance floor and she slowly start to poppin' it**_

_**Something like my wrist piece everybody got to watchin' it**_

_**Girl, you got that secret treasure, I'm gon' put a lock on it**_

_**Don't care what they say, I would be stupid to be not on it**_

_**Heard you go that sticky**_

_**Let's go and take 9 shots, we'll just call it fifty**_

_**And I'm gonna lick it, lick it, lick it**_

_**Till her hicky have her river running**_

_**Keep you running 'til you whimpy, bang, bang, bang, bang…**_

.

"WAIT... no, Ems…" I said panicked.

She raised her eyebrow.

"Yes?"

I looked around frantically. Angel was laughing, probably at my facial expression… everyone else that was near us was watching…

"I… no, don't do that. I don't like it… people are watching you." I said pulling her closer so she couldn't continue with what she was doing. It was something that I would prefer to be kept for my eyes only sort of thing.

Emily chuckled lightly as she leaned in and whispered into my ear.

"Let them…" She said as she grabbed my hand and put it on her left arse cheek. "We both know who gets to REALLY enjoy this later, don't we Naoms?"

I gulped at the thought. I loved it when she got like this, all confident and feisty.

.

_**I love the way you grind with that booty on me**_

_**Shorty you a dime, why you looking lonely?**_

_**We'll buy another round and it's all on me**_

_**As long as I'm around put it down on me…**_

_**Just put it down on me, put it down on me**_

_**Down, down on me, put it down on me**_

_**Don't throw it off the mound, show me how it's gon' be**_

_**Girl, all I really want is you down on me, put it down on me**_

.

Have you ever seen someone almost buckle? Their legs turn to jelly and you start to see them shaking at the knees as they struggle to hold themselves upright? Yep, that was me and Emily, MY girlfriend rather than help me she laughs. She was loving every minute of it. I could see it all over her pretty little face and boy did she get cocky.

"Fuck." I said after a very loud groan passed through my lips. I even covered my mouth. What the fuck for? I have no idea because it had already been heard. Shock, yeah that's it. I was shocked that I had done that.

(DUH)

The way she was dancing on me… words would not be enough to describe it. You really had to be there. I even forgot that people were gawking at us. I didn't care anymore in fact, I wanted them to look. Is that weird? It probably is but whatever.

It was just… yep, I might as well have just been a pole. I reckon I fucking looked like one to the many onlookers. I couldn't move. I just stood there like a fucking idiot licking my lips as if there was a huge feast in front of me and I hadn't eaten in months. The way she rocked her hips and wrapped herself around me, grinded against me OH MY GOD… Have you ever been in a situation where the person you're attracted to does something that you find incredibly sexy and this annoying thought comes into your head and all you want to do is take them there and then? You don't care if you're in public because they've made you that hot, you don't think you can bear the thought of waiting to get home? That is how I was feeling. I mean I would never do that with Emily, not in front of people but God was she making it difficult for me.

"Where…" I cleared my throat. "Where did you um, learn to do all that?" I said as the song was finishing and she slowly snaked her way up my body. She leaned up onto her toes and gave me a rather sexy kiss that I wished had gone on a lot longer than it did.

"Well…" She started off saying. She took both of my hands and entwined her fingers with mine. "I learnt it from you." She said.

(Huh?)

"But… Ems…" I paused as I started to feel a little bit hot under the collar. I don't dance so there is nooo fucking way she learnt all that from me. I think she picked up on what I was thinking because she didn't wait for me to finish my sentence.

"You know those times when I've been on top of you and your left hand is here…" she said pausing to put my left hand on her hip. "And you're right hand is doing something entirely different..." She said, pausing again to put my hand on her front. "And you move me like this…" she said while she actually did the movement against me.

(OOOOOHHHHHHH I see now.)

"Uhuh." I said nodding slowly.

"Mmm, that's how." She finished off saying with the sexiest look in her eyes.

I leaned in to kiss her…

"Get a fucking room you two… Jesus fucking Christ…"

"Hello to you too Katie." I said disappointedly.

She rolled her eyes.

"I had this real fit bloke lined up and the little show you two bitches put on…" She stopped and huffed. "I had to tell him I was a clitty licker just to keep him interested."

(HAHAHAHAHA oh that's too funny.)

"Well Katiekins…" I said as I picked Emily up, her legs wrapping around my waist immediately. "This "clitty licker" is going home to do just that." I said with a wink.

"Ew, don't say it like that Naoms."

"Oh Ems." I replied with an over exaggerated sigh. "Don't pretend like you wouldn't let me."

She stayed silent for a moment as if she was deep in thought. She turned to Katie before she spoke.

"She's right… I would sooo let her." She confessed giggling.

"Okay bye." Katie said as she spun around, looking quite ill at the thought. She collected the guy she was with and dragged him into the crowd towards the bar.

"HAHA did you see her face?" I laughed to Emily.

Emily turned serious.

"If you were joking about what you were going to do to me… I am going to be very disappointed."

"Hmm, we couldn't have that now could we?" I replied, squeezing her tighter.

"No." Emily responded. "No we couldn't."

* * *

><p>The way Emily and me have been as of late, that is exactly how I picture us to be throughout our entire life time. I know she thinks that too. I can see it in her eyes. I really don't ever seeing us getting bored of each other. The thought of boredom and Emily in the same sentence is laughable. It'll never happen.<p>

"_There's a lovin' in your eyes all the way… If I listened to your lies would you say…"_ Emily sang as she danced towards me and took my hands, urging me to dance with her. She loved the 80's. Whenever we were home, she would put her little 80's mix CD on and turn the speaker's way up. I think for her it was like she could muck around, dance and be a little silly and just have a heap of fun. She could let loose, let her hair down… however you want to put it. Her taste was so varied. She was just singing Karma Chameleon by Culture Club and now she was singing Cherry Pie by Warrant. _"She's my cherry pie, cool drink of water such a sweet surprise, taste so good make a grown man cry… sweet cherry pie OH YEAH."_ She never stuck to just one genre, which I loved because I was exactly like that myself. She was so funny… she just had to drop onto her knees and use an empty wine bottle as a guitar. She leaned back and all. She had her hair down so she did a little head bang too, flicking her hair down and in front of her face while the guitar solo played. HAHA, she was getting right into it. It was good to see because I hadn't seen her like this in a while. All the stress from school, my mother's passing, her mother being a massive bitch, me being a prick etc. I think she forgot there for a while how to let go and just be happy.

"Ems… drink?" I asked holding up a bottle of moscato.

She grinned and nodded. She went straight back to entertaining herself while I poured the wine into two glasses… I was a little naughty. You see, I told Ems I had stopped with the gear which was true, I didn't lie but I managed to score a little green from Angel last night and I mean, Emily and me, we used to have a smoke together on occasion and I knew she was coming over tonight so I thought "Fuck it, why not?" I passed her a wine glass as she danced like Madonna to Express Yourself.

(HAHA she's gonna sleep like a baby tonight… all this fucking dancing.)

I showed her the spliff nervously expecting her to throw her wine in my face and yell at me.

"Oh thank fuck Naoms… I could do with one of them…" she said taking a swig from her glass. She squinted at me as she took one from the palm of my hand. "But don't do it again." She added sternly.

I couldn't help but laugh. She started jumping around and away from me. I stepped over and spun her around, producing a lighter as the spliff sat on her lips.

"Hun…" I said as I sparked a flame. "It isn't going to light itself."

She smiled goofily at me and waited for me to light it. She took a big drag and leaned in kissing my lips before pulling back and letting the smoke escape from within her lungs.

"Thanks babe." She said smirking all sexy like and then went straight into singing _"Long stem roses are the way to your heart but he needs to start with your head… Satin sheets are very romantic. What happens when you're not in bed?"_

Emily stopped all of a sudden and stared at me in shock, her mouth open, her eyes glassy and on the way to being bloodshot.

"What's wrong?" I frowned questioningly.

"You have satin sheets."

"I… eh yeah I do." I replied dragging the "ooooh" sound.

"Well, they're going in the fuck-ing bin." She stated as she started dancing and singing again. _"DON'T go for second best baby, put your lover to the test…"_

HAHAHA someone has had a little too much to drink… I don't think that spliff is helping either but I loved seeing her like this. She was happy and it made me the same way. I backed away a little until I felt the back of my knees hit the couch and sat down. I lit my own spliff and took a decent drag from it and watched Emily let go of all her worries… Emily seemed to be a bit on the worn out side so once the song finished she lazily dragged herself over towards me and dropped herself onto the couch with a sigh. I offered her a drink from my wine glass as she had run out of hers and she took it eagerly, sculling the remainder.

"Oi, I said a sip." I said grinning.

"Oops." She replied smiling sweet and innocently.

I squinted playfully at her.

"What? I was thirsty… and you love me too much to watch me shrivel up and die from lack of fluids."

"Yuk, that sounded horrible Ems." I said scrunching my face up and repeating the word. "Flu-ids."

Emily burst out laughing.

"How about oils? Better?"

I tested the word.

"Oi-ilsssss…. YES! Much better." I replied chuckling. "Wait? How can you have lack of oils?"

She shrugged.

"I have no fucking idea Naoms." She slurred "Oh wait, you can run out of oilssssss, therefore you would be lacking oilssssss."

"HAHAHA you're a spaz, you know that?"

"Yeah." She said springing up quickly and dragging me up with her. "But you love me anyway."

I smiled warmly and wrapped my arms around her, my forehead against hers.

"That I do… very much." I confessed seriously. I leaned in to kiss her and what does she do? She puts her hand over my mouth and pushes me back.

"OH MY GOD… I love this song!" She screamed.

(Jesus Christ… scare me to death next time babes.)

I shook my head… next time, not so much wine for my girlfriend. I made a note of it as I stumbled back and ended up on the couch again.

.

_**We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll **_

_**Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll… **_

.

I sat back and got comfortable as I watched on. God, she was gorgeous. She really was. I lit another spliff and continued to observe Emily as she danced to the song unaware that I was watching. When she got like this it was like she was lost in the moment, lost in the music and didn't know what was going on around her. It was hypnotic to witness. How I wish I could travel to the place she was in right now and experience it for myself. Heaven I imagine it to be like. The song finished and went on to the next track. I gulped when Emily slowly turned around; back from the place she had been and stared at me intensely. She slowly walked over as I stayed seated on the couch, swaying her hips as she closed the distance between us. I had a feeling she was suddenly in the mood by the way she was staring at me…

.

_**There you go flashing fever from your eyes**_

_**Hey baby, come over here and shut them tight**_

_**I'm not denying, we're flyin' above it all**_

_**Hold my hand, don't let me fall**_

_**You've such amazing grace, I've never felt this way**_

.

When Emily had reached me, she took my hands and placed them on her hips as she straddled me. She pushed herself close to me, leaning in and whispering the chorus of the song as her hips started to rock to the beat in the most sexiest way.

.

_**Ohhhh ohhhhh, show me heaven**_

_**Cover me**_

_**Leave me breathless**_

_**Ohhh ohhh ohhhh, show me heaven please**_

.

I never really liked this one. It was one of those mushy lovey dovey 80's songs but I can tell you right now, it was my favourite starting from today. Emily was giving me a sort of lap dance. It was sexy, it was slow, it was sensual and classy and it made me throb intensely. I won't lie or beat around the bush because it did. It was unreal.

.

_**Here I go, I'm shakin' just like the breeze**_

_**Hey baby, I need your hand to steady me**_

_**I'm not denying, I'm frightened as much as you**_

_**Though I'm barely touching you**_

_**I've shivers down my spine and it feels divine**_

_**Ohhhh ohhhhh, show me heaven**_

_**Cover me**_

_**Leave me breathless…**_

.

I couldn't take it anymore. Not with the way she was whispering the lyrics and not with the way she was moving her body against me, trailing my hands all over her and bringing them up to her breasts before descending back down again. It was erotic… I moved myself forward off the couch, wrapping my arms around her back for support as I placed her onto the rug on the floor of the lounge room. I undressed her slowly and tenderly and when I was done undressing myself, I placed myself between her thighs, lightly grinding my hips against her as I kissed her slowly and passionately.

.

_**If you know what it's like to dream a dream**_

_**Baby, hold me tight and let this be**_

_**Ohhhh ohhh ohhhhhhhh ohhhhh, heaven, cover me**_

_**Leave me breathless**_

_**Ohhh ohhh ohhh, heaven please**_

.

I was going to show her heaven alright and she knew it. Leave her breathless too. It's all I wanted to do. It was the only thing that was on my mind. I groaned when I felt how excited she was as I rocked into her easily. She gasped when I pressed a little firmer, my hand trailing down slowly towards the place my hips were working… I took her left thigh, squeezing it firmly as I hooked it around my waist. I slowly moved my hand to her middle and rubbed her teasingly. I leaned down and took her lips with mine giving her the most sensual kiss I could muster. A moan escaping her lips, followed by a gasp as I pushed up into her. She clutched onto me tightly as I started to slide against her body, up and down slowly but with a firmness to it that drove Emily absolutely crazy. She squeezed her left leg tighter around me, holding me closer as my hips rocked my hand into her forcing me in deeper. She was panting quite severely by this stage, kissing me roughly when she felt the need to have her lips pressed up against mine, her tongue darting out wanting to kiss the life out of me.

I flipped us over, Emily on top of me, me on my back as she started to rock against my hand. She leaned herself back, rocking her hips rhythmically, her hands resting on my thighs to hold herself up. My left hand snaking up along her body and up to her breasts. Her hips bucked eagerly as she groaned and threw her head back. Immediately after, she leaned forward with her hands resting on my stomach as she picked up the pace. I placed my hand back onto her hip, guiding her. She loved it when I did that. She loved when I helped her grind down harder, work her hips that little bit quicker into my thrusts. She was starting to get close. Emily was digging her nails into my stomach, trying to clutch on…

"I KNEW IT." Jenna screamed.

(OH MY GOD.. How many fucking times is that now? Being walked in on? Jesus fucking Christ.)

Emily shrieked and dove to the far side of me away from "Mummy Dearest." in a desperate attempt to hide her nakedness and probably to say "We weren't doing anything." Which I don't think would have exactly worked. Jenna stormed over towards me and slapped me hard across my face not once but twice as Emily hid behind me.

"You little cunt. I fucking knew it." She yelled.

(Whoa, for miss prim and proper that was a really BAD fuckin' word for her to use.)

She grabbed Emily by the hair and dragged her up from behind me with Emily screaming in pain. She let her go and demanded she got dressed "this instant." I quickly chucked on my jeans and t-shirt too because I wasn't sure if Jenna was going to have another go at me and it wasn't something I wanted to sit through naked.

(How the fuck did she find out?)

"Guess who I saw Emily? Your GIRLFRIEND Angel at the fucking supermarket with a man instead of my daughter." She snarled. "And all this time you have been running around like a little slut letting this, this thing touch you."

Jenna went to slap Emily but I lunged forward and grabbed Jenna's hand. I squeezed it tightly completely fucking angered.

"Don't you fucking dare…" I growled.

"Naomi don't." Emily shrieked, thinking I was going to hit her mother.

"Get your filthy hands off of me." She yelled as she flicked my arm off of hers. "AND YOU… I raised you better than that." She said pointing a finger and glaring at her daughter angrily.

"Back off Jenna." I said calmly wrapping my arm around the back of me to pull Emily closer.

Jenna pushed me out of the way and stormed over to Emily, grabbing her by the ear.

"Being with her, you'll only ever be a slut Emily. What don't you understand?"

I grabbed Jenna and pushed her away from my girlfriend in protection. I know it was Emily's mother but fucked if I was going to stand there and let Jenna hurt her.

"If you call her a slut one more time Jenna, I will put you through that fuck-ing window. Emily's mother or not I couldn't give a flying fuck." I yelled aggressively. "Don't fucking push me."

"Naomi please… it's okay. She doesn't mean it, she's angry." Emily pleaded as she stepped around me and faced her mother, still trying to fix her clothing.

"Mum, please… I love her."

Jenna scoffed.

"Love her? Emily…" Jenna paused shaking her head. "Do you really think she loves you back? Do you really think you're the only one? I'm disappointed in you. I thought you would be smarter than that."

I rolled my eyes at the things her mother was saying. Seriously, what the fuck would Jenna possibly know? I went to say something but was cut off by Emily.

"She does love me mum. She does. I'm not idiot. If she didn't I wouldn't fucking be here." Emily yelled at her mother in frustration.

"Emily, you don't know what love is. You're too young. Can't you see? She's manipulated you. You gave her what she wanted and now it's only a matter of time before she moves on to somebody else."

(WHAT THE FUCK is this bitch on about?)

"Gave her what she wanted? GAVE HER WHAT SHE FUCK-ING WANTED?" Emily screamed. "Maybe I wanted it. Did you ever think of that? Maybe when I'm done I'll move onto somebody else…"

(OH MY GOD… No, don't say that. She's gonna go mental Ems.)

I felt my chest tighten a little when Emily said that. I knew she didn't mean it and that she was trying to get across to her mother in the basic sense that it 'takes two to tango' sort of thing but yeah.

_**SLAP**_

Oh that's it. I'm really fucking pissed right now. The only reason I haven't gone at Jenna already is because she is Emily's mum and I need to respect her to an extent but it's getting to the point of no return. Once I get to a certain boiling point, I can't control it. She's fucking pushing me into doing something I am going to regret if she continues on like this.

"Jenna, please… I'm warning you, do not raise your hand towards Emily again." I said nervously knowing exactly what was going to happen if she didn't heed my warning.

Seeing that happen to Emily by ANYONE brought out a completely different Naomi. One that didn't have patience, one that didn't take shit, one that didn't care who or what you were, one that couldn't stop once she started… That Naomi was dangerous and I think she could do ANYTHING she had to do to make sure the one she was protecting, was protected. If Jenna didn't get a clue, she was going to meet that Naomi any minute now. I couldn't hold her off any longer. She was on the surface just waiting for the next wrong move to take place.

"DON'T YOU DARE THREATEN ME YOUNG LADY…" Jenna screamed. She looked around my house questioningly. "Where is THAT mother of yours? GINA… GINA… Where is she Naomi? I can smell the dope. Any wonder you're the way you are with a role model like that…"

Emily immediately tackled me to the ground when she saw me head straight for her mother. I hit my chin on the floor, biting right through my lip and felt absolutely nothing. No pain whatsoever. I shook off the dizzy feeling and somehow got out of Emily's tight grip and lunged at Jenna, my hands around her throat and the blood from my lip dripping down my chin and all over Jenna as she lay on the floor below me. Her eyes were wide open as I squeezed her neck as hard as I possibly could. My mission: To kill and fucking destroy. Jenna was slapping my shoulders struggling to breathe as I pushed down harder.

"Jesus fucking Christ…" I heard Angel say in shock right before she knocked me hard off of Jenna. Jenna went into a coughing fit as her throat opened up and she tried to breathe.

"Get her Emily…" Angel instructed as she went to check on Jenna.

I felt Emily fall behind me and wrap her arms and legs around my body so I couldn't move.

"You fucking cunt…" I yelled trying my best to get free of Emily.

Thoughts of my mother crept in and I just crumbled. Embarrassingly I broke down in tears. Emily, judging by the sound of her voice was crying too. She placed her mouth beside my ear and whispered that it was okay.

Angel helped Jenna up off the floor.

"GINA, GINA… You.." Angel cut her off and slammed Jenna into the wall.

"She's fucking dead you stupid bitch."

By now, I had stopped the tears and just lay slumped on the floor with Emily still holding onto me, no longer interested in what was going on. Emily saw the fight had left me and so she let me go and we both sat on the couch. Emily sat on my lap. I think she did that just to be sure. She knew I wouldn't throw her off me and risk hurting her if Jenna said the wrong thing.

Jenna looked as if the world was going to end. She had a look of shock plastered all over her face.

"Look at you in your fancy fucking clothes, your fancy fucking car pointing your finger at anyone who doesn't fit your fucking standards. Everywhere you go you leave a trail of destruction and you don't even care if your own kids are in the way. As long as you get what you want, you don't care who the fuck you hurt, do you Jenna?" Angel said.

"Look what we've done tonight. Are you proud of yourself?" She continued pointing at Emily and me. "They love each other for fucks sake. You have to be fucking blind to not see that."

"I don't care. Naomi will never be good enough for Emily." Jenna said coldly.

"That isn't your fucking decision to make is it?" Angel replied. "And how dare you come here and disrespect not only your own daughter but Naomi and her fucking mother? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I'm sorry Naomi, I didn't know your mother was…"

"FUCK YOU." I screamed. "Stick your sorry up your fucking arse."

Emily squeezed me tighter.

"Naoms, it's alright… it's okay. Calm down." She whispered.

"You know Jenna, Gina may have been a lot of things but I can tell you right now you would never be half the mother she was. You don't even come close." Angel stated looking Jenna up and down in disgust. "I think you should fuck off back home before I let Naomi go you again."

"Emily, come on. Let's go. We've overstayed our welcome."

"NO mum, you've overstayed your welcome." Emily said flatly.

Jenna adjusted her clothes and fixed her hair.

"Emily, I said we're going. Get in the car."

I didn't want Emily to go back home with that bitch. For one, I knew Emily was going to get it when she got home and I knew Jenna still had the apron strings attached tightly and she would do anything she could to ensure her daughter stayed away from me. Anything.

I pulled Emily closer towards me.

"Ems, if you don't go with her… shits only gonna get worse." I whispered.

"You don't want me here?" she whispered back.

"Of course I do…"

She cut me off.

"Then I'm staying." She said defiantly. I knew I wouldn't be able to change her mind. The thought of using school as an argument crossed my mind briefly but seemed dumb and weak considering the circumstances.

Emily, who had fire in her eyes leaned forward and kissed me passionately.

"EMILY" Jenna screamed.

"Mrs Fitch, I believe your daughter has made her decision. You can leave now." Angel said.

"If you think for one minute that I'm going to let you ruin your life with this no hoper, you've got another thing coming. Do you hear me Emily?"

"Mum, please… I love her. Why can't you just accept that?" Emily responded pleadingly.

Jenna squinted at her daughter.

"I'll never accept it Emily. Never." Jenna said, picking up her handbag and leaving through the front door. We stayed silent as we heard her slam her car door and take off rather quickly, her tyres screeching terribly against the road.

Angel looked apologetic for what had happened but I told her it wasn't her fault. We all half expected to get caught eventually; we just hoped it was after Emily graduated. Emily burst into tears out of nowhere and collapsed onto me completely broken and shattered.

"Why don't you two go upstairs and have a nice hot bath yeah? Calm down a bit? I'll make something to eat and bring up a round of hot chocolates when you's are done? Angel offered.

"Thanks Angel." I replied.

She smiled warmly and went into the kitchen. Emily was that distraught she couldn't even move so I put her to the side onto the cushion of the couch and stood up. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck and cried into my shoulder as I took as both upstairs.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen from this day forth but I knew whatever it was, I would do my best to be there for Emily. I would provide her with a roof over her head. She wasn't going to be left on the street. No fucking way. I would even figure out a way to pay for her to go to school if I fucking had to. I would do anything for her but I guess you already know that. Whatever she needs, it's hers. I don't care if it kills me.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Emily,<strong>_

_**I'm going out of my mind here. I need to know you're okay. I'm sorry. I really fucking am and I get it if you don't want to talk to me but all I ask is that you send me something so I know you're okay. Just a simple "Yes" would be enough.**_

_**I still love you Emily. Please, I need to talk to you. Write back, I'm fucking begging you.**_

_**N. xoxo**_

I don't know why she won't reply to me. I've explained to her why I had to go. She knows why. That bitch Jenna went straight to the police station and reported the 'assault.' She had the marks around her neck to prove it. They didn't come for me straight away. It took a few days. I was on my way home after hanging out with Angel and as I went to cross the park to get to my house, I saw three cop cars waiting out the front with their lights on. At first I thought something happened to Emily but that thought quickly went because Emily wasn't at my house that night. I kept walking and mingled in with the spectators hovering around. I asked one of the neighbours who I recognised what was going on. He knew who I was and pushed me towards the bushes so the cops couldn't see me.

"_Are you fuckin' mental? They're after you girly." He had said._

I didn't reply because I honestly did not know what to say.

"_They be looking for a young blonde. They want to talk to her about an incident up near Dover and another that took place a couple days ago. You're fucked."_

"_Shit.. fucking… FUCK."_

"_I don't know if you had anythin' to do wif it and I don't really care but unless you wanna get banged up, you best fuck off before they spot that blonde hair o' yours."_

What was I supposed to do? I couldn't hand myself over. God knows how long I'd be stuck in jail for.

"_Here, it's not much but it's enough to get as far away from this place as possible. Go, leave."_

And so I did. I made one stop before I did though. I went to the Fitches residence. I needed to speak to Emily. I wanted her to come with me. I didn't know where we would go but as long as she was with me, everything would be okay. There was a police car out the front of their place too. I don't quite know why. Who knows what Jenna has told them about me? The police were inside the house so I crept around the side to where Emily's room was. She was there to try and sort out what had happened when Jenna came over to my house and if it couldn't be sorted, she was going to pack her belongings and come to mine. I picked up a handful of small stones and tossed a few up at Emily's window hoping and praying that she was in her room. I threw a couple more… and finally the window slid open but to my dismay, it wasn't Emily. It was James.

"_EMILY… YOU'RE GIRLFRIENDS THROWING ROCKS AT YOUR WINDOW…"_

"_SHHHH James…"_

But it was too late. I heard movement from within the house and then the front door burst open. I was sure of one thing; it wasn't Emily coming out to greet me.

"_Hold it right there missy…"_

I ran. I had to. I could always come back for Emily. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It really did but now she won't even talk to me. I've tried to call her; I've tried to call Katie. I've sent Angel around but she doesn't even know where Emily is. She hasn't been to school and neither has Katie. I've considered going back to see for myself but I know it's too soon. My face is still fresh in the minds of the local cops… I have to wait it out. They'll soon forget about me. I know that much. There will be bigger fish to fry as the time drags on, my case closed due to lack of evidence and all that. I just… I must have sent over 30 letters in the last 4 months trying to contact Emily. Not one of them has been replied to or sent back so I know she's getting them. I know she is still in Bristol but there is nothing I can do. I don't want to go to prison. Nobody does. I fucking hate Jenna for what she's done. I will never forgive that bitch for taking Emily away from me. I wouldn't even piss on her if she was on fire. The thought of going back to Bristol for revenge has crossed my mind many times. Even now as I write this, I want her to get what's coming to her. I should have snapped her neck when I had the fucking chance. Dumped her body and been done with her. I know, I'm being stupid but I am just so fucking angry at her. I miss Emily like I would miss my own fucking limbs. I feel lost without her. It's unbearable, the thought of not ever seeing or being with Emily again. I might as well just put a bullet through my fucking head… No, I can't do that. Stop it Naoms… Look at me? I'm a fucking mess. Is this what it has come to? I'm fucking talking to myself now… what's next? Don't worry; I'm not going to top myself. I wouldn't give that fucking bitch the satisfaction.

I'll keep trying. I'll continue to write for as long as I possibly can. I'm not letting her go. I refuse to. She needs to be standing in front of me looking me right in the eye, telling me "I don't want to see you again." for me to walk away. I'd be heartbroken but if that's what she wants, those are the conditions. I really should sort myself out though. I've been drinking like a fish, smoking like a chimney and snorting like my life depended on it. Vodka, weed and MDMA is what my life has ended up being like. That's my breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's fucking sad. It really is. I just can't fucking handle these fucking dumb emotions I'm feeling. It's all fucking new to me. I haven't loved before and I haven't lost before. It's no excuse. If I do ever get in touch with Emily, I can't go to her looking the way I do. I'm like the walking dead. It's got to stop and it will. I'd do anything for her. Anything…

_**Ems, please… I'm fucking lost without you. I need to see you. N.x**_

I slipped the note into an envelope, sealed it. Popped a stamp on the fucking thing and made my way out of this dingy hole I now called home. I walked to the nearby letterbox and slipped the envelope inside.

"Please Emily… please just fucking talk to me." I whispered to myself.

* * *

><p><strong>So, that's the end of the chapter… don't forget to review. It motivates me to write :)<strong>

**Lyrics used in this chapter:**

**Party Up – DMX**

**Down On Me – Jeremih ft. 50 Cent**

**Karma Chameleon – Culture Club**

**Cherry Pie – Warrant**

**Express Yourself – Madonna**

**We Built This City – Starship**

**Show Me Heaven – Maria McKee**


	8. Chapter 8

**The Lives We Lead**

**Chapter VIII**

**A/N: Hello again :)**

**You know something? You guys are awesome. I really mean that. Thank you for all the lovely reviews. They are all very much appreciated. I just need you all to know that before you get stuck into this chapter… and a special little thank you to Turtle.**

**Okay, so just in case there is any confusion, this chapter has jumped 6 years. Naomi is now around the age of 24. Hope you all enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

><p>Jesus fucking Christ, I swear I don't know what the fuck is going on with these people today. People just want it too easy in life. They have no concept of work and earning their fucking wage. I mean, yeah I can be a bit hard on the girls sometimes but I'm the fucking manager. I have to manage. If they didn't slack off and do as they were told, I wouldn't have to be such a prick. Someone is going home tonight. Someone is getting the arse. I've had enough of this shit.<p>

"ANGEL… for fucks sake. Get her. What the actual fuck?"

"Alright Naoms, alright… just chill yeah?" Angel replied.

I breathed in deeply and held it there for a few seconds in an attempt to calm down before Angel returned with Mandy aka Luscious Lola. If Mandy thinks she can get me on her side with that dumb arse smile, she has another thing coming.

"Do you remember our conversation when you were first employed here?"

Mandy nodded innocently. To be honest, it was infuriating me. These girls will put me in an early grave. I'm sure of it.

"Do you remember me reminding you last week about that same conversation?" I said.

"Naoms, I swear I wasn't…"

I put my hand up, motioning for her to shut the fuck up.

"Would you agree I have given you fair warning about the matter?"

"Yes but I swear, I wasn't doing anything."

I crossed my arms, mainly because I felt a sudden urge to slap her right across the face and thought it would be better for all involved if I didn't snap and go completely mental.

"Mandy, that back room you were taking a customer in is off limits. You were told to stay away from it because you can't be trusted. Why were you going back there?"

She started to panic.

"I… He just wanted a private dance Naoms, I swear I wasn't going to do anything."

I scoffed and shook my head.

"You're lying Mandy."

There was silence. Complete and total silence. I knew she was going to crack under the pressure so I just kept tight lipped and waited for her to fill in that said silence. Mandy sighed heavily.

"I needed the extra money. I'm sorry Naomi… I swear it won't happen again."

"Pack your shit and get the fuck out."

She lunged forward and grabbed my arm desperately, begging for me to give her one more chance. I pushed her off me and watched as she slammed up against my desk.

"I don't know how many fucking times I have to tell you fucking bitches, this is NOT a fucking brothel. It is strictly a dance ONLY. What the fuck don't you understand?"

"I'm sorry…" She replied crying. "I just needed… needed the money. I'm behind in my re…"

I cut her off.

"That isn't my fucking concern is it Mandy? You get a good fucking wage here, better than what anyone else would give you. It's not my fucking problem your priorities are fucked. Maybe you should think about that before you snort your next line of coke? Make sure your fucking rents paid first ey?"

I looked up at Angel angrily trying my hardest to not lose my temper. I have worked my arse off to own this place and so has Angel. We built this establishment from the ground up. It was just an empty fucking warehouse when we bought it. Everything in this place we paid cash for. Cash we earned. Our blood, sweat and tears went into this, every cushion, every table, every fucking glass. Even the fucking installations were done by us. The lighting, the stage, the fucking bar itself, the fucking sign outside that reads "The Velvet Curtain", everything. Fucked if I'm going to let some little bitch ruin my fucking business.

"If you want to be a fucking hooker, stand on the street corner out there." I said pointing in its direction. "Not in my FUCKING club. Get your shit and fuck off."

I reached into my draw and pulled out the petty cash box and opened it up. I pulled out a thousand pounds. If I was a cold hearted bitch, I would give her fuck all but I couldn't do that. It wasn't right. I threw the notes onto my desk so she could reach them.

"There, that'll keep you going til you find your next place of employment yeah. I'm happy to help you in giving you a reference but you will never work here again. Understood?"

Mandy nodded sadly as she looked from me to the money on the desk. She seemed to be hesitant to take it for reasons unknown to me.

"Go, it's yours. Take it." I said.

She sighed deeply and picked it up. She counted the money and put 700 pound back on the desk.

"I… that's all I need Naoms. Thank you." She replied. "I'll just go… go and get my things and I'll be out."

She turned around and headed for the door. She stopped and turned back around.

"I am sorry Naomi."

"So am I Mandy… so am I." I breathed.

She nodded and exited the office.

"Naoms, don't you think you were a bit fuckin' harsh?" Angel asked as she approached my desk and sat down on the chair as I put the 700 back into the cash box.

"Angel, she could have gotten us shut down if a bluey walked in. I am trying to run a legitimate business here. Not some dirty, dingy little club with used condoms in every fucking corner. I don't want anything to do with that shit." I replied. "This place is known for its class yeah? You really want to fuck that reputation up?"

"No but…"

"There are no buts Ang. Why the fuck do you think yours and everybody else's wage is so fucking high? These fuckers, they come in here, get a dance with the illusion that one day, these girls might just give it up to them. I know some of them do but as long as it's not in my… OUR fucking club, I couldn't give two fat fucks. Mandy was fucking every Tom, Dick and Harry in that back room. She needed to go. She was a fucking liability."

"Yeah but…"

"End of Angel. End of fucking conversation. You leave the managing to me okay. You worry about keeping the girls in line." I said annoyed.

"You really need to get laid Naoms." Angel chuckled. "The stress is really getting to you. It's unnatural for you to go longer than a week without a decent shag."

"You offering?" I asked with my eyebrow raised.

Angel laughed.

"Well I would but that girlfriend of yours… she can be a little scary."

"She's not my girlfriend." I replied dryly.

"Oh yes, that's right. 3 years sleeping with the same women. It's just a casual relationship." Angel replied sarcastically. "I'm sure she would love to her that, wouldn't she Naoms?"

"Angel I couldn't give a fuck. She knows what's what."

Angel stayed silent for a moment.

"Naoms, she's a good girl. You should consider settling down. Ya know, hold onto her…"

"Angel, my relationships don't concern you okay. Just leave it."

She stood up and placed her hand on my shoulder gently and spoke softly.

"I know you're still hung up on Emily but you need to let it go Naoms. It's been 6 years. She's gone hun."

"You can leave now." I replied aggressively. "Get out Ang, I'm not in the fucking mood yeah."

"Okay, okay… I'm going but think about what I said. Lia's a good girl and she fucking loves you. You know she does. You should think about making her yours Naoms, like proper."

"Out." Was all I replied, pointing towards the door.

"Have a good night, BOSS." Angel replied as she left my office.

I hated when she called me that. We were both equal in this business. She elected me to manage the place because she said she wasn't good with hiring and firing, working the books etc. so I took on that responsibility but it didn't make me the boss as she puts it. We both work hard here. We both built this from the ground up. She knows that but fucking hell she likes to wind me up. I fumbled in my desk draw and pulled out a packet smokes. I lit one up and had a decent drag. I know what Angel is saying. I know I should let Emily go but I don't know. I can't. I gave her my heart. She has it. I know it's been 6 years and I guess any normal person would be well and truly over it but I just can't forget her that easily. Especially with the way things ended. It wasn't meant to be like that. You know, I still don't know what happened. I went back to Bristol about a year after all that shit happened to try and get in touch with Emily but when I got there, the house had been sold. There were new occupants living there. I asked if they knew what had happened to the previous owners but they said they had never met them. They wanted a quick sale and they sold the house well below the market value. "It was an absolute steal. Too good to pass up." The bloke had said. I asked around but no one knew anything so I depressingly made my way back to London. The place I now call home.

"Hey babe"

I was still stuck in my head. I knew she was there but her voice sounded distant.

"Hun…" Lia said concerned when I didn't answer. She made her way over to me. "Is everything okay?"

"Hmm?" I replied as I turned to look at her. "Oh yeah. Everything's fine." I smiled trying to shake all thoughts of Emily away from my mind. I leaned up and kissed her softly on the lips. "How was your day?" I asked.

She smiled hugely.

"I got the promotion." She squealed, hugging the life out of me. I hugged her back firmly, proud of her. Lia had come from a poor family, much like myself. She worked three jobs just to be able to go to college and further her education. Now, with this promotion she was the area manager for a large chain of medical clinics across London. It was a big promotion. Huge in fact. There were at least 50 people in the running for it. I knew she would get it. She has the right determination and she has the brains. Not to say that the other 49 don't but she has a certain spark about her. She kind of reminds me of Em…

"I think this calls for a celebration." I said, cutting my thoughts off. I didn't like the direction it was going. It only brought an empty feeling and a shit load of sadness. "How 'bout I leave early, we go out and I buy you dinner?" I said smiling proudly.

I did care for Lia. You could say I even loved her to an extent but it was a different love. It wasn't the same way I loved… Fucking Fuck.

(Fucking Angel. She just had to bring Emily up, didn't she?)

"Babe, are you sure everything's okay?" Lia asked again. She could see I was troubled by something.

"Yeah, I just… I had to let one of the girls go tonight. She was playing up." I responded, lying about what was really on my mind.

"It must have been pretty bad if you had to resort to that Naoms… what could she have possibly done?" She responded with a hint of shock in her voice.

I sighed heavily trying to think of a nice way to put it.

"She was um… she was offering extra services in the back room."

"Oh… you mean…" She replied. She didn't finish her sentence but I knew she caught on.

"Yes. I warned her like 20 times… she had it good here and she pissed it away. She was one of my best girls too."

Lia leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"Come on, let's get you out of here. It makes you grumpy." She chuckled.

I stood up and collected my jacket from the back of my chair and put it on. I locked up the desk drawers, shut down the computer, turned the lights off and locked up the office door.

"So where do you want to eat? What do you fancy?" I asked as I grabbed her hand.

"Well…" she said in a low voice. "I was thinking we could order take out and spend the night at home, preferably in front of the fire." She said seductively. "I have tomorrow off."

I turned to her and smirked. It had been a little while since we had spent time together in an intimate fashion. We had both been so busy with work the last month and being absolutely exhausted, we'd go to bed and black out as soon as our heads hit the pillow and sometimes it was a case of me wanting to but she was too tired and then when the mood took her fancy, I was too tired. Maybe now with her getting the promotion she will get some free time and after this week, after I sort out the new girls and figure out who I want to employ, I might be able to take some time off. We definitely need it. Just some time to lounge around and relax. Alleviate all that stress that has accumulated over the last month.

I wiggled my eyebrows at her causing her to laugh out loud.

"Cheeky." She said, slapping my shoulder lightly. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in closer to me as we walked out. On the way, I told Angel to hold down the fort and I'd see her tomorrow. She said "No worries, boss." I think she was still annoyed at how I spoke to her but I know comes tomorrow, all will be good again. She knows it was a touchy subject so no harm done. With all that out of the way, I walked Lia to my car and we both jumped in. She leaned over and kissed me firmly on the lips as I turned the key to start the engine. She stroked my cheek lightly with her hand and looked at me adoringly.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I know." I replied, a small smile tugging at my lips.

* * *

><p>I found myself unable to sleep. I kept tossing and turning and waking Lia up from her slumber and causing her a small amount of worry. Usually I was a sound sleeper but lately and especially with the amount of work I've been faced with recently at the club I just haven't been able to relax enough so I got up out of bed and wandered into the lounge room and plonked myself down on the couch. I found myself thinking about Lia and how we met. It wasn't a love at first sight type of thing. In fact we both disliked each other very much to begin with. I had been working at a small café around the corner from her college when we had literally bumped into each other. She spilt her iced coffee and I spilt everything that was on the tray I was holding. Food and drink going all over me. I was already having a shitty day as it was so when that happened, it tipped me over the edge. <em>"Watch where you're fucking going you silly bitch. Look what you did?" <em>I had said in a raised voice. She replied with a _"Well fuck you too."_ and tipped the rest of her iced coffee over my head. I chuckled at the thought. Look at us now? We've been together for almost 3 and a half years, the last 4 months living under the same roof. She had this fire in her eyes that attracted me to her. She was a quiet type of person but if you messed with her, she would give you an earful if she knows she is right. You wouldn't stand a chance arguing with her. I don't even bother trying anymore because when it comes to verbal disputes, she would wipe the floor with me. Anyway, she continued to come into the café I worked at after that little incident. She would always order her iced coffee every morning of the week at exactly the same time. When we saw each other, we would give each other evils with no words spoken. This went on for a couple of weeks and then one morning she came in and we both looked at each other and burst out laughing. The manager of the coffee shop thought I had finally cracked. He didn't know what was going on. I was hysterical and so was Lia. We both calmed down and I went over and prepared her iced coffee and took it over to her and sat down at her table.

"_Hi."_ I had said to her with a small smile. _"I'm Naomi."_ I added as I extended my hand formally to shake hers.

Lia took my hand and shook it gently as she ran her hand threw her hair and placed her fringe behind her ear. She glanced at her watch as she did and stood up immediately.

"_Shit, I'm late…"_ she said panicked as she grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder. _"Sorry I have to go." _She added, turning around and hurriedly walked out of the shop.

She had left her iced coffee on the table so I quickly grabbed it and ran after her, tapping her on the shoulder, startling her.

"_Sorry.. um you forgot your drink."_ I said nervously.

She smiled warmly at me and said thank you, taking the cup from my hand. She looked at me for a long moment, her eyes twinkling. She put the straw to her mouth and sucked on it gently, drinking the cups contents.

"_Mmm, yum."_ Was her response. Lia had turned back around and done a backward wave, swinging her hips only slightly.

"_Stop looking at my arse."_ She yelled out without turning around.

"_I…"_ I sighed. No point in denying it because I couldn't help myself. I continued to stand there watching her cross the road. _"Oh wait… what's your name?"_ I asked. She spun around and walked backwards towards the other side of the road for a few moments to answer me.

"_If you wake up in the morning and find yourself still interested, ask me again tomorrow."_ She said, spinning back around and disappearing amongst the crowd of students going towards the college.

Well of course I was still interested so I asked her and she told me. We started out as friends to begin with. She wanted to take things slow and to be honest, so did I. She reminded me of Emily a lot and I guess that's why I felt attracted to her. She makes me feel that little bit better about myself, she makes me happier when she's around. She makes me feel good. She is a gorgeous person, inside and out. Nothing is too much trouble. She would do anything she could to help you even if you're a complete stranger down on your luck…

(But I still feel empty.)

"Good morning." Lia said as she came over and sat on my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Sorry about last night… ya know, waking you up and stuff." I said feeling terrible.

She leaned forward and pecked my lips softly and smiled.

"How could I possibly be mad at you after the things you did to me last night?" She responded.

I chuckled, remembering the night's events.

"I was a bit of a stud, wasn't I?" I said smirking.

She rolled her eyes.

"I can never give you a compliment without you getting all cocky…" She laughed.

I leaned up and kissed her lips. It was slow and passionate as I raked my hand up and under her singlet, cupping her breast gently and brushing my thumb over her nipple. She pulled back slightly.

"Won't you be late for work?"

I kissed her again.

"I don't care…" I replied as felt myself getting hotter by the second. I shifted and laid her down on the couch and positioned myself on top of her. She placed her hand on my chest and pushed me up a little to get my attention.

"You said you had a lot of interviews today Naoms?"

I grinded myself up against her middle, a gasp escaping her lips.

"An hour isn't going to make a difference." I replied, my right hand finding its way into her underwear, rubbing her teasingly.

She looked up at me and bit her bottom lip, the look in her eye telling me she agreed whole heartedly.

* * *

><p>"You're late." Angel said as she burst through my office, not even giving me time to put my keys into my desk drawer.<p>

"I'm aware of the time Angel." I responded flatly.

"Naomi, you're like 2 hours late. Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm sorry, I slept in. I had a rough night." I half lied not wanting to discuss my private time with Lia. "I haven't been sleeping too well lately. Don't worry; I won't make a habit of it."

Angel squinted.

"I promise." I said.

She loosened up and sat down in front of my desk and lit a smoke.

"You seem less irritated today. Things go well with Lia last night?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah, they did. She got her promotion…"

"Ah so you celebrated." Angel said cutting me off and winking.

"I guess you could say that." I smiled.

"See? Aunty Ang is always right. You should listen to me more often Naoms. A shag was exactly what you needed." She chuckled.

"Hey, don't say that. Not about Lia." I said a little defensively.

"Really Naoms? It's me you're talking to yeah? Chillax babes. I don't mean any disrespect. I know she's your bird and all that."

"Yeah… I know. Sorry." I replied quickly. "So, the new girls ready?"

"Hun, they've been ready for the last 2 hours."

"Fuck, are they pissed?" I asked.

"Nah, they've been chatting with our girls. I don't think they realise they've been waitin' this long."

I laughed. That'll be right.

"So how you wanna do this Naoms? You want me to bring em in 'ere or…"

"No, it's okay. We'll take them to one of the private booths and see what they can do. Are there many people out there?"

"Oh there's a few but their all up the other end. Peaches is keepin' em occupied."

"Haha, yeah… actually speaking of Peaches I want you to bump her up a level. She's been doing well, keeping her nose clean. She deserves a raise."

Angel's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "What? She's still on probation after what happened last time."

I shook my head.

"It was like a year ago Ang. If we don't treat the girls well, we'll lose them. She knows the next fuck up and she's out the door." I replied.

Angel seemed to be deep in thought.

"I don't know if she's proved herself yet Naoms… Maybe wait a couple months yeah. I just… I don't feel comfortable."

"Do you have reason to believe that she's been doing the wrong thing?" I asked seriously.

"No it isn't that. She hasn't been clean for long that's all. If you give her too much freedom, she might go backwards, ya know? It got messy with all the drugs that were comin' through this place, thanks to her. We've only just cleaned it up."

I sighed. She was right.

"Okay but listen, I want you to watch her closely. Make sure she's keeping out of trouble and we'll revisit this conversation at a later date. How's that?"

"Perfect," She replied. She stood up and butted her smoke out. "I'll get the girls ready. Gimme about 10 minutes and I'll bring 'em over."

"Reckon I got time for a quick coffee?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"No but go on. I'll allow it this one time." She replied smirking.

"Oh gee, thanks Boss." I chuckled, imitating her. She pointed her finger at me as she hung in the door way.

"Watch it." She squinted playfully before leaving. Even though when we first started this business we came to an agreement that we wouldn't call each other boss due to being on equal par with one another, we still did for some reason. Sometimes it was funny, other times not so much. Last night for example.

I sorted out my office, got the computer up and running and headed over to the bar.

"Hey Naomi… you want the usual babes?"

"Yeah, thanks Jess. Two shots of coffee though." I replied. "I need a strong cuppa."

Jessie walked over to the machine and set up the coffee. She grabbed the stainless steel jug and popped a small handful of ice cubes inside before she turned the steam on to heat up the milk. She noticed me looking at her curiously and spoke over the noise the machine was making.

"The ice helps froth up the milk better. I learnt it when I was doing work experience at my last job." She said somewhat proudly.

"Ah okay." I smiled.

"Busy day today?" She asked as she started to pour the milk into the latte glass.

"Yeah, I have some new girls to test out." I replied.

She rolled her eyes and giggled.

"That sounds terribly hard. I mean sitting there all that time, watching how many girls?"

"7"

"Watching 7 girls dance in front of you half naked." She finished sarcastically.

"Seen one, seen em all Jess…"

"Yes boss, whatever you say." She smirked as she passed me my coffee. "Enjoy." She winked.

I laughed. She had personality that one. It didn't hurt that she was beautiful to look at too. As soon as she came through the doors asking for a job, I knew I wanted her and I knew exactly WHERE I wanted her. Front of house. Dealing with the customers. I wasn't wrong. She was perfect for the position. She ticked all the boxes for what I wanted in all my staff.

"Hey Jess… how long have you been working here now?" I asked. "Wait, don't answer that. You started working here not long after we opened so about 2 years yeah?"

"Two years and 7 months, actually." She corrected.

I smirked. I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out the name badge I had gotten made up two days before. I placed it on the bar mat that was protecting the bench from spillage with Jessie looking at me questioningly.

**JESSIE**

**Bar Supervisor**

"Oh my God… are you serious Naoms?"

I nodded chuckling at her reaction. She was so excited. She climbed over the bar and lunged forward at me almost knocking us to the ground. She squeezed me tight and placed pecks all over my cheeks.

"Okay, okay.. calm down." I laughed

"I LOVE YOU…" She screamed right in my ear. "You are fucking awesome."

(Jesus Christ… I think I'm deaf.)

She calmed herself and stopped clinging to me like a mad woman. She fixed her clothing, though honestly the staff uniform for the bar attendants wasn't much. It was a corset and garter belt with a pair of fishnet stockings and boots. Colour was depending on the bar attendant. Jessie got a purple and black one now to replace the red and black outfit seen she was just bumped up a notch. She looked up at me seriously all of a sudden which caused me to frown slightly in wonder.

"It was about bloody time." She said with us both bursting out with laughter.

"Smart arse… Oh here, you'll need this too." I said as I handed her the master key for the bar area.

She squealed with delight and clutched the key against her chest.

"I promise you won't regret this Naoms…"

"I better not." I said sternly but with a hint of playfulness. "Go on then, go and put your new colours on."

She smiled widely and went to run off but stopped dead in her tracks. She turned to face me and squeezed me tight once again.

"Thank you." She said as she pulled back and disappeared into the back room.

"NAOMI…"

I spun around towards the direction of the voice. It was Angel waving me to go in her direction and hurry up.

"The girls are waiting… Fucks sake." She whispered forcefully as I approached, grabbing my arm and dragging me the rest of the way.

* * *

><p>As Angel and me walked towards the girls who were eagerly waiting to get a chance to work at the Velvet Curtain, I leaned in and whispered to Angel "I only see about three with potential." Angel rolled her eyes and whispered back "They haven't even danced yet." She was right but you kind of get to know these things after working in the industry for a little while. You can tell the wannabe strippers from the real talent. Oh well, I guess I'll just wait and see. We stopped in front of the girls who immediately stopped talking to one another and focused on Angel and me.<p>

"Okay, girls… how we all feeling?" Angel said to the group of women.

Some nodded, some said "Fine" or "Good."

"As you all know, my name is Angel and this is my business partner Naomi."

I nodded in acknowledgement after Angel said my name and then took over the 'speech'.

"Basically what is going to happen here today is I'm going to call you all in one at a time into that room over there. There's no need to be nervous. I just need you all to try your best."

I paused for a moment to make sure they understood.

"Keep in mind, this is a classy establishment therefore we are looking for dancers who can be sexy, sensual and erotic without coming across as trashy. Today brings an opportunity for you all to bring what you've got to the table. If you're wanting a career as a professional hooker or a porn star, this place isn't for you. Do we all understand that?"

They all nodded.

"You will be graded on your technique, your dance routine and how well you interact with customers. It is an elimination process, obviously those who get a lower score will unfortunately not be in the running… Remember, there are only 2 positions available at this time so 5 of you will be going home unemployed but that is not to say that you aren't welcome back to try for any future openings."

I paused again and looked briefly around the room before continuing.

"Okay so with that out of the way…" I looked over at Jessie who was approaching in her new coloured outfit beaming from ear to ear.

"This is Jessie, our bar supervisor. If you would like anything to drink while you are waiting, she will be more than willing to help you…"

Jessie smiled her award winning smile at the group of women.

"First up…" I said as I looked at the clip board Angel was holding. "Theresa, would you follow me please?"

I waited as the girl collected her things and directed her to the private room. I opened the door for her and Angel and then followed behind.

"There's a small room just behind that curtain there where you can get changed."

She said "Thank you" and disappeared for 5 minutes. She came back out and stood in front of Angel and me. She was dressed in a cowgirl type outfit. She had a pair of dark brown chap style pants that flared off at the bottom. The flare was a lighter shade of brown. On closer inspection it was more of a tan colour. Her belt and cowboy hat was also a tan colour which I thought looked quite good overall. She had her tummy showing with a white bra and a tan coloured vest that reached the bottom of her breasts and all the other little accessories such as a sheriff's badge and two holsters hanging from her belt accompanied with two silver western styled pistols. She had her blonde hair tied up in pigtails. If I had to grade the outfit I would definitely give her a 9…

"What song would you like to dance to today?" I asked.

"Legend Of A Cowgirl by um, Imani Coppola"

I nodded towards Angel who was by the sound system.

"What is your stage name Theresa?"

"It's Veronica." She said shyly. I wrote it down next to her name at the top of the page. She seemed to be extremely nervous.

"Just relax yeah… I'm not as scary as I look." I said with a chuckle. "I'm sure you'll do great. Pretend I'm not even here okay?"

She smiled sweetly and nodded. Angel found the song and pressed play. When Theresa had first mentioned the song, I wasn't really sure it would suit but as it played and she started dancing, it just all seemed to fit together. She was the first girl I had seen audition for the day but she has set the bar high. I could tell already.

.

**I'm gonna drink my whiskey, I'm gonna have my man**

**I know you got nothin' to say**

**I'm gonna have my man, gonna steal their hearts and save 'em for another day**

**Ain't gonna hang my hat, ain't gonna take off my boots**

**Ain't nothing gonna stop me in my pursuit**

**My stage, time to rehearse, gonna see all the wonders of the universe…**

**.**

She was excellent. She even used the pole that was in the middle of the room. Some of the acrobatics she did was just unreal. Her upper body strength was unbelievable on some of the stunts she did. Some were even dangerous. Had she fucked up some of the moves there would be a huge possibility that I would have had to call a coroner but you could tell she had the experience to pull them off. She did it so easily. It was fucking fantastic.

.

**Pack my bags and mount my horse**

**I'm gonna ride on into the next town**

**Spend all my money on absolutely nothing**

**Need no man to pay for anything**

**Ain't got no shame, nobody knows my name**

**I'm gonna ride on into the next town**

**Pecos Bill, couldn't hang for long**

**A female legend with a song**

**.**

All in all for technique and the routine she presented, she received a solid 8. Truthfully, I was absolutely amazed by her performance, I forgot that I was in a professional role and almost started clapping like a bloody seal. She was so shy to begin with but once that music started playing and she started to dance, this confidence came out through her performance. It was like she was a completely different person. Even Angel was shocked and completely hypnotised. I marked down everything onto the piece of paper that had her name on it and put a huge fucking tick next to her name. She was exactly what I was after. Even if she didn't ace the actual interview verbally due to her shyness, I had made up my mind that I wanted her. She would open up eventually with the experience in dealing with the customers so for me, her talent was just too good to let go.

When the song finished playing, Theresa carefully picked up her outfit and held it in her hands and returned to being the shy girl we had seen walk out of the changing rooms earlier. She looked worried and nervous. I'm not sure why because after a performance like that, Jesus Christ you would think a person would still be on a high.

"Thank you Theresa… If you would like to get changed you may do so. We can have a little chat when you get back out." I said to her with a small smile.

She nodded and disappeared into the back room.

"Whoa, did you see all that?" Angel whispered as she came over to me. "She is fucking unreal. We have to get her Naoms. She's gonna be fucking huge."

"I'm gonna tell her she's got a job. Fuck the interview yeah. I'll get Jessie to show her how to handle the fuckers that come in here… You happy with that?"

"Naoms, if you didn't hire her, I'd fucking kill you." She said excitedly.

I nodded in acknowledgement. I heard Theresa clear her throat as she walked back into the room just to let us know she had returned.

"Theresa… I don't quite know how to put this…"

She sighed heavily looking disappointed.

"It's okay. I know, I need more experience. I made a lot of mistakes. I…"

"Wait." I said. "You don't understand. We want you, plain and simple." I said.

"What?" She questioned.

I chuckled due to the look of shock on her face.

"I haven't seen a performance like that for a very long time. If you want a job here, you're hired. It's yours."

"OH MY GOD, really? What… what about the interview?" She replied quickly.

"I wouldn't worry too much about that babes. Angel and myself are both confident that you will do wonders here."

She almost started crying which told me she really needed a job and I was happy to help her with that.

"Thank you so much" She said smiling from ear to ear and wiping away a tear that had fallen.

"No, thank you." I replied. "Ah listen Theresa; can you keep it to yourself though? I don't want the other girls knowing just yet."

"Of course, not a word." She said as she pretended to zip her mouth shut.

"When you go back out there, just tell Jess our bar supervisor that Naomi said yes and she will know exactly what to do with you. I'll need you to fill in some forms before you leave okay?"

"Okay."

I watched as she left the room and closed the door behind her… As each girl got called in, none of them displayed the talent that Theresa did and I was starting to become disinterested and not to mention my head was pounding like a motherfucker due to the music blaring for such a long period of time. By the fourth girl I was completely over it and I know it was wrong of me because there were still 3 girls to go, I just felt like none of them would be right for the job. The forth girl definitely wasn't. She had named herself Tantalising Tara and was dressed; well she wasn't even dressed except for a pair of knickers and these caps on her nipples. What's the fucking point of dancing to a song that goes for 4 minutes if that's all you have to take off? Jesus fucking Christ. Where's the anticipation to see what's under there? NONE. It wasn't much of a show and she was just, I don't know. It wasn't the standard that I had for the club. It was below. I'm not saying she is a slut because I don't fucking know her but her routine was extremely slutty. It was just completely filthy and it involved several toys that she had brought with her. Yeah, I know it's some peoples idea of sexy and a turn on but this club is not a fucking ping pong show in Thailand. I don't want that shit in my club, even if it meant I would make more money. Not happening.

"Cut it… stop the music." I yelled over to Angel who was looking at the girl in a curious way.

"Listen, Tara… I appreciate you coming down today to audition but we're looking for something else." I said to her.

"Oh, okay. Was it too much?" She asked.

"Yeah, a little." I said. "Look, I'm just going to be straight with you. I said classy, this was not even close. Um, yeah… I'm sorry but I won't be hiring you today."

She looked disappointed but I mean if someone isn't right, they're just not right. You can't force anything.

"Look, I know a place that is looking for your eh talent… if you're interested of course?" I asked. I mean even though I didn't like her routine personally, she was good and would be snapped up for sure by someone who wanted that kind of show for their establishment. It's not exactly easy to twist off coke bottle caps and pop balloons with a dart WITH your snatch, is it?

She smiled and the look of disappointment turned into one of appreciation.

"You ever heard of Gold Fingers?" I asked.

"Yes, I have."

"Go down there, ask for Steve and tell him Naomi sent you." I replied. "I'll phone him so he knows to expect you."

She said her thanks and collected her things and left the room. By this stage my head felt as if it was about to explode so I asked Angel if she could handle sitting in for the last three girls because I needed to get out of there and lay down. She said it was fine and so I left her to it. I grabbed my shit from the office and made my way home.

* * *

><p>"Naomi... hun, phone call." Lia said as she shook me awake gently.<p>

"Tell 'em I'm not home." I grumbled, turning my back to Lia and closing my eyes. Lia chuckled.

"I think they heard you babe, plus it's Angel. She sounds awfully excited about something…"

"URGH." I said frustrated as I reached for the phone in Lia's hand. "What?" I said into the phone.

"NAOMS… She was fucking amazing. Even better than the cowgirl. I had to hire her on the spot. She…"

"Who? Which one? Candy, Alexis or Portia?"

"Neither babes, a girl came in about 15 minutes after you left. You gave cowgirl an 8 out of 10. This one gets a fucking 20."

"Okay." I said flatly, still half asleep. "You know my heads killing me, couldn't this wait til tomorrow?"

"I just… I told cowgirl and, oh this chick has jet black hair and calls herself Ravenous… I told em both to come in tomorrow. They'll be on stage. I just wanted to make sure it's alright with you?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I trust your judgment."

"Awesome babes… listen, I know you don't feel well so sleep in and whatever but come in tomorrow night at around 7 yeah. Cowgirl is on at 7.30 and then straight after her Ravenous. You're gonna fucking love it babes and don't worry, I'm sure I can manage until you get in," She said hanging up and not giving me a chance to dispute her. I hung up the phone and threw it on the bed.

"What was that all about? She sounded absolutely ecstatic." Lia smiled sitting down next to me.

"Oh just about a girl that she auditioned."

"So it went well then?"

"Yeah." I replied.

"Good." She said as she leaned down and pecked me on the lips. "I'm glad."

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled Lia down, kissing her rather passionately. She pulled away breathless but I leaned up and took her lips again as she sat on top of me.

"Mmm." She sounded into the kiss. She pulled back slightly. "I have dinner on the stove."

The only reason I relented was because when she mentioned dinner, my stomach growled that loud, even Lia heard it. She kissed me again before she got up but I changed my mind and wanted her instead…

"Naomi, darling. Dessert is usually AFTER dinner." She chuckled as my hands snaked up along her thighs and under her skirt.

I looked her up and down and bit my bottom lip. She was looking awfully sexy this evening.

"I don't mind going straight to dessert." I said as I brushed her middle with my right hand, rubbing her softly over her underwear. She gasped and seemed to want to stay there, especially when I felt her hips lower and push herself closer to my hand. She leaned down and kissed me hungrily when she felt me slip my hand inside her knickers. Her breath hitched when I pushed up inside her. A low groan escaped my lips when I felt just how wet and ready she was.

**BZZZZZZZZ**

(Great. The fucking oven timer.)

"Ohhh stop hun… oh… the food…" Lia said panting and taking hold of my wrist.

"URGH." I growled. She giggled. She leaned down and kissed me sensually, whispering that after we ate I could do whatever I wanted to her if I ate all my dinner like a good girl. How the fuck could I say no to that?

She got up off of me and headed directly for the kitchen to sort out the food. I followed a short time after. Roast lamb with all the trimmings was served up as I sat down at the kitchen table. She was an amazing cook. It smelt absolutely delicious. We both ate and spoke about our days. I told her about the Cowgirl and this Ravenous chick that was going to perform for the first time tomorrow night and she asked if it would be okay if she came to watch it due to having a day off. Of course I said it was fine. I was a little surprised to be honest because when I had first told her about Angel and me wanting to open up a strip club, it didn't sit too well with her but once we had opened up she seemed to be a little more at ease with it but she felt uncomfortable being in that environment which I suppose is fair enough but over time she warmed up to it. She saw that it wasn't just another sleazy strip joint littering the city. It had style and it had class and boy did the high rollers line up to get in. I wouldn't own this house or my Audi S5 parked in the driveway if it wasn't for this business. I wish my mum could have still been alive to see all this. I would have loved to be able to support her and give her all the things she ever wanted. All the things she had to miss out on to make sure I was clothed and fed growing up. She probably would have disapproved with the whole stripper thing but I know she would have warmed up to it just like Lia did. It makes me sad when I think that I never got the chance to make my mum proud of me, like proper proud. The only thing that makes me feel that little better is thinking and hoping that hopefully wherever she may have gone, she can see what I've done with my life. I'm not in a jail rotting away. I'm not running from the law anymore, I'm not on drugs. I own my own business, I'm earning a good wage and I'm doing the right thing with my life. Gone are the days of me being in trouble all the fucking time. I've grown up a lot since then.

When I got my very first pay check, do you know what I did with the money? I went back down to Bristol and bought my mother a tombstone, one that she fucking deserved in death. No longer was she under a patch of grass with just a small wooden homemade cross that I placed there because I didn't have a cent in my name. She was a beautiful woman and her tomb needed to match the woman's name it would bear. It was huge. It was made out of granite with an angel sitting on top looking up at the sky. I think mum would have approved with the choice. She would have smiled and said "Oh that's lovely." beaming from ear to ear. I could almost hear her say it which made me shed a tear as I watched the blokes place it above my mother's grave. I still miss her dearly. I don't think it's ever going to change or get easier…

"You okay hun?" Lia asked as she collected my near empty plate.

"Yeah." I smiled sadly towards her.

"Are you thinking about your mum?"

I nodded. She smiled gently as she sat down beside me.

"How did you know?" I asked curiously.

"I recognised the look in your eyes. You always look like a lost child when you think about her Naoms. It's heart breaking if I'm honest." Lia replied. "You loved her a lot didn't you?"

I sighed.

"Yeah I did, even if I didn't show it." I said slightly angered at myself.

Lia reached over and took my hand in hers.

"I'm sure she knew Naoms… Mother's know these things."

"Yeah I guess so." I agreed not wanting to get into a full on discussion but she picked up on my 'agreeing for the sake of it' and continued.

"Babe, your father left you and your mum to fend for yourselves. The fact that when you were old enough you stayed with her told her all she needed to know."

She was right. It was a Campbell tradition. If you didn't care, you didn't pretend. You left and you never looked back.

"She knows you loved her Naoms. You need to stop beating yourself up about it. She knows." Lia said reassuringly.

"I hope so." I sighed heavily

Lia stood up slowly and dragged me gently up with her.

"Follow me." She said in a soft voice.

She tugged on my arm to follow behind her and took me into our bathroom. She put the plug into the bath drain and popped the water on with some bubbles. I kicked my shoes off and proceeded to undress myself completely with Lia doing the same thing. She stepped towards me, swinging her hips sensually and pressed her body up against mine. She took my arms and placed them around herself as she leaned up to kiss me passionately slow but then she pulled back and spun herself around, taking me by the wrist and walking me to the tub. She forced me to sit down on the edge and kneeled down in front me with the wickedest look in her eyes. Lia certainly knew what would cheer me up, that's for sure. She placed herself in between my thighs and kissed her way down my stomach until she got to my middle. She flicked me once, then twice and kissed me there on the third time teasingly and then nibbled on the inside of my thigh, kissing and licking her back to where I really wanted her to be right now. When she reached the spot I wanted her lips to be, she wrapped her lips around me and sucked gently, alternating between flicking, swirling and massaging with her tongue. Her hands on my body, mine in her hair pushing her closer.

"Hun, you might want to turn the water off." She mumbled into me. I leaned back to reach the tap and did as she said. Just as well she was paying attention because I reckon another minute; the water would have been spilling over the edge. Lia wrapped her arms around my waist and pushed me closer to her applying more pressure and well, 'servicing' me more hungrily than before. I knew it wasn't going to be long before I came undone and fuck was she good at it…

Without going into too much detail, let's just say when I was finished, she didn't let any go to waste. I dragged her up and crashed my lips onto her roughly and instructed her to get her "sweet little arse" in the tub. It was my turn and boy was she going to get it…

* * *

><p>I got up quite late after last night. After I loved Lia in the tub good and proper, we bathed and then took it to the bedroom where I loved her again, slowly for several hours.<p>

(Loved? The only person you ever loved was…)

"URGH stop it." I said to myself. I dragged myself out of bed and headed for the shower. I did what I had to do, soaped up, washed my hair etc. and got back out. I walked over to my closet wrapped in a towel and selected the suit I was going to wear to work today. The suit pants were low rise and flared at the bottom. The jacket was of a ¾ length and the shirt sat right where my belt buckle would be. All items were fitted perfectly to my body and black in colour. There was a little Italian shop I got all my suits made from scratch. They were pretty good and they had a good reputation amongst lawyers and the office types. They only used the best of materials from Italy and they had a huge variety of colours and patterns. You know how a black suit sometimes never looks quite black? It has a shine or looks more like a charcoal colour? Well this suit I had gotten made up was pitch black. Just the way I liked it. The shoes I wore underneath were an ankle boot but all you could see was the toe due to the flare which is exactly how I preferred my pants. They were a square toe, black and mirror shiny. You could do your make up in the reflection if you really needed to. I sprayed deodorant and put some Versace perfume all over me before going out to the kitchen to make a coffee.

"Good morning." I said to Lia as I wandered over to the bench to pop the kettle on and then pecked her on the cheek.

"Good evening you mean." She laughed. "It's 5pm."

(WHOA)

"Shit, really? How long did I sleep for?" I asked a little shocked that it was that late.

"Not that long actually hun... you didn't fall asleep until about 11."

I didn't feel tired. I felt quite refreshed to be honest even after only 6 hours of sleep.

"Mmmm, you smell nice." She smiled.

I chuckled. She loved when I had the Versace on. It like hypnotised her. The kettle boiled, I made my coffee and sat down on the kitchen table and lit a smoke. I don't usually smoke in the house but honestly I couldn't be fucked going outside. I was too comfortable in the warmth. Lia got up off the couch and came over and sit across from me.

"Naomi, I've been thinking…"

I looked toward her questioningly and I started feeling quite nervous. When Lia started a sentence like that, it meant it was a serious talk.

"Well, we've been together now for just over 3 years and lately…"

She paused.

"Lately?" I asked.

She sighed a little nervously.

"Lately, well it just seems like you've pulled back a little bit ever since I moved in with you… I know work has been stressful for the both of us but I can't help wonder if maybe you're thinking you made a mistake in asking me?"

(Where the hell has this come from?)

"I don't think that." I replied. "What made you say that?" I asked.

She sighed heavily.

"It just feels like you don't want to commit to this relationship."

"Lia, we've spoken about this… You know I like you, you know I care about you. You wouldn't be in my bed if I didn't."

"I know Naoms but… that's the problem. Not once have you said you loved me in the three plus years we've been together. When I say it, you either just kiss me or say you know. I need to know where I stand with you."

I took a sip from my cup of coffee and then had a drag of my cigarette, deep in thought. Angel's words echoing in my mind. _"Naoms, she's a good girl. You should consider settling down. Ya know, hold onto her…"_ I just, Lia was a good girl. She is everything you could ever want in a Mrs. But I just couldn't give her what she wanted from me. I cared about her deeply and I would never do anything to hurt her. Can you believe that I have been 100% faithful to her? It's insane because I never thought I could do that. The only person I was loyal to was…

(SHUP THE FUCK UP NAOMS)

"Naoms?"

I reached over and took her by the hand and pulled her gently off her seat and sat her onto my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her lips softly. Lia sighed.

"You're doing it again Naomi. You kiss me to avoid talking… I just want to know if you're serious about me. Really I should have brought this up two years ago but I know that you had a rough time growing up and I love you. I wanted to be patient. I didn't want to put pressure on you."

Angel's words again went through my mind. _"I know you're still hung up on Emily but you need to let it go Naoms. It's been 6 years. She's gone hun."_

I looked up at her intensely and tried my hardest not to start hyperventilating. The thought of letting go terrified me. I didn't want to ever let go but Angel was right. I needed to make a decision and I couldn't expect Lia to just be with me, love me and I gave her nothing in return.

"I am serious about you Lia."

"Then tell me you love me Naoms. I just need to hear it once. Just one time is all I ask of you. You don't ever need to say it again because I'll know you do…" She said emotionally.

I stayed silent. It was just too hard to say. She looked down and broke eye contact, a silent tear streaming down her cheek. I lifted my hand and wiped it tenderly away and raised her head up gently so she could see me.

"I… I love you." I said with a small sigh at the end of it.

Lia bit her bottom lip and smiled a teary smile and placed a searing kiss upon my lips. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tightly as she cried. I rubbed her back soothingly until she got herself under control and pulled back. She wiped her face quickly and just smiled lovingly at me for a long moment before placing her lips onto mine again.

"I love you too Naomi… very much." She confessed. She sighed heavily and stood up and smiled.

"You need to get going for work otherwise you'll be late." Lia said.

I frowned.

"Didn't you want to come and watch the show?"

"I'll meet you there. I just need to shower. 7.30, the girls were starting wasn't it?" She asked.

"Yeah… I can wait for you though. Angel said to go in at 7."

"Exactly hun. By the time I get organised I won't be there until twenty past 7."

"That'll be right." I chuckled.

"Hey." She smirked. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." I replied shaking my head and grinning.

"Yes, I know Naomi, I'm a girl. Deal with it." She said before she kissed me firmly on the cheek and said "I'll see you there." disappearing down the hall towards our ensuite.

I immediately turned serious and felt a tightness in my chest caused by the "I love you" I had said earlier. It didn't feel right even though I did love her but it could never be in the way that she wanted which is why I had never said it to her before but Angel was right. She made sense. If I didn't hold onto Lia, she'd leave and I didn't want that. Lia was good for me. There was no point in denying that fact. She kept me on the straight and narrow even if she didn't know it. I wanted to be a good person when I was with her. I wanted to be better and that hasn't happened since well, you know who…

I finished the remainder of my coffee and washed the mug. I grabbed my phone, keys and wallet and walked out of the house, locking the door behind me. Hopefully tonight will go well. I was feeling a little nervous about putting two girls up on stage so soon. It wasn't easy and a lot of people need time to warm up to it but if Angel thinks they're ready, well I trust her judgment.

* * *

><p>I pulled up at the The Velvet Curtain and parked in the space reserved for me, right next to Angel's BMW. I locked the car up and headed through the back entrance titled "Staff Only" and made my way to the office. I was a little earlier than 7 but what was I going to do? I was ready so I might as well have left to come to this place. Nothing else was going on and it gave me a chance to sort out some paper work before the show and have it organised for tomorrow. I liked things organised. I couldn't stand shit all over the place and all messy and out of order. It drove me round the bend.<p>

"Hey, you're early." Angel said excitedly. "You ready for the show?"

"Yeah." I said pausing and looking at her questioningly. "Why all the excitement Ang? I mean we see it all the time yeah."

"Babe, I'm telling you… you have not seen anything like this. Trust me. It was fantastic. The best I have ever seen. Fucking hell she was good and that outfit… WHOA is all I have to say."

"Okay, okay… I believe you." I said a little sceptical. Sometimes Angel over exaggerated and got excited for no reason so that's why I wasn't getting too worked up about a show I hadn't seen yet.

"Naoms, can I get you a drink?" Angel asked.

"Eh, yeah fuck it why not? Ouzo and coke." I said with a smile.

"Oh God, will you ever try something else?"

"Nope… I like Ouzo and I like coke so why fuck with a good thing?"

Angel rolled her eyes.

"One Ouzo and coke coming right up Boss." She said as she exited the room and headed for the bar.

I shuffled through the remaining papers on my desk and put them in order and checked the time. It was 7.15 so I got up and went to seek out Angel for that drink she offered to get me. I walked out of the office and typical Angel; she was standing with my drink in her hand talking to a guy that seemed to be interested in her. Of course, Angel is a full on lezza so he had no chance but that didn't stop her from making him think that he did. I guess it was good for business anyway. I walked up to her and took my drink from her hands, scaring the shit out of her.

"Jesus Fu…"

I raised my eyebrow at her while I took a sip which stopped her continuing. Never swear in front of a customer. It was one of the rules. Sometimes she needed to be reminded but at the end of the day it was my fault anyway because I had startled her.

"You scared me." She finished off.

"Aw sorry babes… I was just wondering where my drink got to." I paused to turn the bloke who Angel was talking to. "I hope my Mrs isn't talking your ear off. You should hear her at home, blah blah blah nonstop." I said chuckling.

"Oh, you two are together?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yes unfortunately." I said winking at him.

"Oh… okay…" He paused and looked away. "If you ladies would excuse me, I have to use the little boy's room."

He walked off hurriedly like he had just been caught with his pants down and was highly embarrassed.

"Thanks Naoms, he wouldn't fucking leave me alone." She whispered.

"Oh I dunno Ang… you looked like you were enjoying the attention from where I was standing," I replied smirking.

"You're full of shit, you know that?" She laughed.

"Hey hun." I heard Lia say as she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind.

"Hey, you're actually on time?" I chuckled bringing her around to the front of me, kissing her cheek.

"You're still going on about that girly thing?" She said laughing and shaking her head. She turned to Ang.

"Hello Angel, how are you?" Lia asked.

"I'm good thanks babes; it's good to see ya." She replied smiling. "Come to see the show ey?"

"Yes, I thought why not? I had a day off and I haven't really seen a show before."

"Are you serious? Never?"

Lia nodded her head. "Yes Angel. Never" She finished off giggling lightly at the look on Angel's face.

I could see Angel wasn't going to let it go. She wanted to have a playful tease but I knew it was a big thing for Lia to be here. She was out of her comfort zone.

"Not everyone can be a perv Ang. You're pervy enough for ten people."

"Oi, I am not." She answered pretending to be offended.

"Dickhead." I responded.

"That wasn't very nice Naomi." Lia said slapping my tummy gently.

"Well in that case, Angel my dearest friend, I apologise to thee."

"Boss." Jess called out as she walked towards us. "Oh and… Boss… 7.25." She said looking at her watch. "The girls will be on very shortly."

"Thanks Jess… alright hun, you go off and sit with Angel. I have to go sit in the boss's chair." I said rolling my eyes.

Lia leaned up and kissed me quickly on the lips.

"Enjoy." I said smirking. I pointed my finger at Angel, my face displaying a serious expression. "Look after her Ang, I mean it."

"Well duh, of course." Angel replied. "Come on babes, we've got the best seat in the house." She said as she took Lia by the arm and escorted her to where they would be sitting.

I turned to Jess.

"Babe, can you send over a tequila sunrise to Lia for me real quick?"

"No problems... leave it to me boss." She said as she walked off to prepare the drink.

"Wait Jess, do you know the name of this Ravenous bird? I hate calling the girls by their stage name."

"I believe it to be Paige." She replied.

I nodded and walked over to where I would be sitting. It was slightly off to the side of the stage but an excellent spot to see everything I needed to in order to determine if the girls were ready for live performances or not. I looked around and we pretty much had a full house tonight. The topless waitresses were doing the rounds, seating people, taking orders etc. and getting them comfortable before the show started. The 5 girls that were already up on the stage pole dancing walked off the stage as the song finished. I always had my main girls who did the stage shows and during intervals I had my other girls keeping the customers interested until the next act. Jessie quickly ran over and dropped off Lia's drink as the lights dimmed and walked hurriedly to the side room that went to the back of the stage.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Velvet Curtain… Tonight we have a VERY special treat for you all. Two new girls have joined our ranks, Veronica and Ravenous who are making their debut performance tonight on stage so please put your hands together for our first act of the night, VERRRRRRONICAAAAAAA."

There was clapping, there was whistling that almost pierced my ear drum, there was shouting and pretty much mass hysteria for lack of a better word. It made me smile, knowing that something that was mine, this business caused that reaction. It was an awesome feeling. It really was. It never failed to bring a huge arse smile to my face…

.

**I'm gonna drink my whiskey, I'm gonna have my man**

**I know you got nothin' to say…**

**.**

Theresa came out on stage with no evidence of her being the shy girl I had met back on the day of the auditions. I could tell this was something she was passionate about. I know some people would ask "Why would any woman want to perform as a stripper in front of a crowd of sleazy men?" Well, I don't really know the answer to that but I suppose if you look at it from a performing point of view, a dancer's point of view it makes sense. I mean people act in front of cameras don't they? They perform sex scenes etc. because they love to perform. Acting is their life. Singers dress in hardly nothing and dance provocatively in their music videos don't they? I don't really see a difference except at my club, it's live and maybe a little bit more naughtier.

By the time Theresa had finished, the crowd was wild. They loved it. I glanced over at Lia who was standing and clapping like her life depended on it. I smirked as I watched on. For someone who wasn't really comfortable with all this, she sure seemed like she was enjoying every minute of it. Angel caught me looking and gave me two huge thumbs up and what I think was a "Woooo" judging by her lip movement. She was way too far away for me to hear her over the sea of people screaming and shouting for more.

**RAVENOUS, RAVENOUS, RAVENOUS**

The crowd chanted. This Paige girl would be fucking beaming from ear to ear right now. I know I would be had I been in her position. The crowd was wild and wanting more. Jessie's voice came over the speakers.

"Now, now settle down… we don't want to scare her away now, do we?"

I was surprised when the crowd actually listened and quietened down.

"Without further ado, The Velvet Curtain brings to you… RAVENOUS."

**WOOOOOOOOOO**

The crowd screamed in excitement.

.

**FREE YOUR MIND…**

.

And then the beat kicked in… It was an RnB song but with a rock influence. Electric guitars with the classic hip hop type of bass. It was definitely a charged up song. Ravenous who I would prefer to call Paige burst out on stage, confidence radiating from her like I had never seen before. Boy did she strut her stuff and work the crowd. She had jet black hair that appeared to be pinned back underneath her fedora type hat AND I'm not going to lie, she looked fucking hot. My jaw had hit the floor when I took one glance at the outfit. This Paige chick was wearing a full length charcoal pinstriped jacket that was done up at the front but the way it sat, it revealed her legs, her matching short shorts and her stomach. She had a black bra poking out at the top of the coat. It sat really low. It's hard to describe the jacket. It hugged her middle fabulously like a vest and then went off to the sides and back and it was down to her ankles to give you an indication of the jackets length. The collar which was very low sat just below her bra line at the front and was a deep red colour. The cuffs of the jacket were also a deep red and those sexy arse heels she was wearing were the same red as the parts I just mentioned on the jacket with a strip of white down the sides and a black strap going around the ankle. It just fit together perfectly. I mean, Theresa was fantastic with her outfit and her routine but fuck me, Angel wasn't wrong about Paige. She made Theresa look like an amateur. She was phenomenal. She walked confidently and somewhat aggressively down the little cat walk at the centre of the stage and towards the crowd.

.

**I wear tight clothin'**

**High heeled shoes**

**It doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute, no no…**

.

And then the song was cut off abruptly. There was a sound, exactly like a DJ scratching a record for a moment and then a different beat which only lasted a couple of seconds. There was more DJ scratching as Paige took her jacket completely off and threw it into the crowd as she turned to walk back down the cat walk, swinging her hips seductively with her hand on her hat. Then the new song kicked in and Paige was there ready and waiting by one of the poles in her hat, black bra and short shorts… Her timing was fucking perfect. I had seen so many shows and they did absolutely nothing for me but I have to say, this one was getting me excited. She knew exactly how to work a stage and how to get the crowd going. I thought they were wild during Theresa's performance but that was nothing compared to right now.

.

**I've got the stuff that you want**

**I've got the thing that you need**

**I've got more than enough**

**To make you drop to your knees**

**'Cause I'm the queen of the night**

**The queen of the night**

**Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah…**

**.**

Fucking hell was she good. I have to remember to kiss the fuck out of Angel later. This girl was going to be the club favourite… She started to dance with the pole and I swear the look on my face would have earned me a slap from Lia which reminded me that she was just across the room so I quickly looked over and the dread that I was feeling quickly subsided when I saw that Lia was just as enthralled in the performance as I was.

.

**Don't make no difference if I'm wrong or I'm right**

**I've got the feeling and I'm willing tonight**

**Well I ain't nobody's angel**

**What can I say, well, I'm just that way**

**I've got the stuff that you want**

**I've got the thing that you need…**

**.**

Paige ripped her shorts off revealing a black thong that sat low on her hips and strutted back down the cat walk swaying her hips in such a way, you couldn't look away. You didn't have to be a man or a lezza to appreciate what my eyes were seeing right now. Believe me when I say that. I couldn't take my eyes of her. There was a dickhead that got right up close to me and started shouting and whistling right in my fucking ear, so I elbowed the prick right in the guts and told the fucker to sit down. He got a bit narky at me.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" He said.

"I'm the fucking owner of this club buddy, so either behave or get the fuck out." I said furiously. He was disturbing me. I know I probably sound like the world's biggest pervert right now but it really was the best show I had ever seen in my entire fucking life and being distracted by idiots was not something that I wanted right now. I was concentrating.

.

**You've got a problem with the way that I am**

**They say I'm trouble and I don't give a damn**

**But when I'm bad I know I'm better**

**I just want to get loose, and turn it up for you…**

**.**

When she got down off that catwalk and started working the crowd, there was a huge fucking roar that would cause ringing in your ears for days. She selected certain members of the crowd as the song continued to play and gave them each a little lap dance. After the second guy, I noticed she was coming over my way and I suddenly felt nervous. Can you believe that because I fucking can't? I don't even know why I was feeling like that but at the same time I was secretly wishing she would dance on me. She leaned into the guy that was a few seats away from me and I'm guessing she whispered for him to take her bra off. He didn't waste time. His arms flew up quick smart. He fumbled for a short while with the clasp but got it undone in no time. I thought he did well haha. Some blokes just don't have a clue. She pulled back and removed her bra and flung it towards the back of the room where eager men and ladies were squishing together to catch it as if it was a bouquet at someone's wedding. It was actually quite funny to watch. She finished dancing with him…

.

**Well, I've got the stuff that you want**

**I've got the thing that you need…**

.

She turned towards my direction and when eye contact was made, I shot up out of my seat. She faltered but only for a quick moment. It was as if she had forgotten what she was doing but then quickly remembered. I went to take a step in her direction but she came over to me quickly and roughly pushed me back down into my chair.

.

**'Cause I'm the queen of the night**

**The queen of the night**

**Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah**

**.**

She continued to dance as she straddled me. She leaned in and whispered.

"Let me finish."

I tried to get up again but she was ready. She held me down as she danced to not make it look too obvious.

"Emily…"

She looked at me, her face no longer having the look of a performer and I couldn't move. I was fucking stuck. She rocked her hips against me as the song started to come to its end. I couldn't take my eyes from hers. I couldn't fucking believe it. I almost burst out crying upon seeing my Emily doing this as a job. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me so no one could see her naked breasts and carry away from all these sleazy bastards. This wasn't right. This was wrong on so many fucking levels.

.

**I've got the stuff that you want**

**I've got the thing that you need**

**I've got more than enough**

**To make you drop to your knees…**

**.**

She felt my arms flinch and shifted her weight so I couldn't move them. She knew I wanted to pick her up and remove her from this room. Even after all this time, she could still tell what I was thinking. She stepped back off me but not before whispering "Stay there." I couldn't fucking move, even if I wanted to, I was fucked. How the fuck, what the fuck… Fuck… She walked away, swinging her hips still in performance mode and made her way back up to the stage. She did a cute little wave just before the song cut and disappeared through the back curtain. Jessie was back on the microphone, the crowd roared with complete and total satisfaction. I got up immediately when the lights dimmed and jumped up on the stage and ran towards Emily. I heard Angel yell out but I wasn't letting anyone get in my fucking way.

"WHERE'D SHE GO?" I yelled at the dancers getting ready to go on next. "WHERE'S EMILY?"

"Who?" one of the girls said.

"FUCKING EM… PAIGE, WHERE'D SHE GO?"

"Oh, she went to the loo's. I think she got some sort of delayed stage fright…"

I ran full ball down the long skinny hallway and slammed my body into the door that led to the toilets, snapping its hinges. I landed on the door which had landed on the floor. Emily was by the basin and screamed at the loud bang. I hurried up off the floor and went straight over to Emily, pinning her against the wall as I hugged the fucking life out of her.

"Emily…."

I couldn't get past her name. What the fuck do I say after all this time?

"What the fuck Naomi?" Angel yelled.

I stepped away from Emily and rushed Angel.

"How the fuck could you let her get up there?"

Angel panicked and didn't know what to do. Finally she decided to hold onto my arms as I clutched at her clothing tightly.

"What the fuck are you talking about? What are you on?" She screamed in my face.

I saw a pair of legs standing in the doorway which distracted me. They belonged to Lia. I looked up at her, ashamed that she had seen me behave like this.

"Naomi, what's… what's gotten into you?" she asked, shocked and appalled. It was a side she had never seen before.

I looked back down at Angel and stood up, dragging her up with me. I pulled her violently behind me towards a speechless and scared looking Emily. I reached up with my left hand and removed Emily's hat and the black wig she had on covering her still red hair. I threw Angel in front of me and grabbed her by the scruff of the neck.

"Look… Look at her. How could you do that Angel?" I screamed completely fucking shattered.

Angel didn't say a word. Her mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"Fuck… EMILY?" She turned to me white as a ghost. "Naomi, I swear… I didn't fucking know. I would never…"

I let go of Angel pushing her away from Emily towards Lia and took my jacket off, swinging it over Emily who was still pretty much naked except for her heels and g string. She looked at me incredibly pissed off and slapped me into next week. Straight after, she lunged forward and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight and crying hysterically.

"Where have you been? I thought you were dead." She sobbed, her voice cracking terribly.

I didn't answer her. I had other things on my mind.

"What are doing Emily? What the fuck are you doing?" I said, breaking down into my own tears with us both collapsing onto the floor.

* * *

><p><strong>Did you enjoy the chapter? Let me know by clicking the review button :) <strong>

**Until next time guys, take care.**

**Lyrics used:**

**Legend Of A Cowgirl – Imani Coppola**

**Free Your Mind – En Vogue**

**Queen Of The Night – Whitney Houston**


	9. Chapter 9

**The Lives We Lead**

**Chapter IX**

**A/N: How are we all today? Good I hope :)**

**I know I sound like a bloody broken record but again, thank you so very much for the reviews. Thank you, thank you, thank you :D you guys are truly awesome and because of that reason, ya know you guys being awesome and all... here is another chapter to show my gratitude. I hope you all enjoy it.**

* * *

><p>"Angel, what's going on?" Lia asked.<p>

I was still clinging tightly onto Emily. I didn't want to let her go. I was too fucking scared to let her go. I heard Ang walk further away from me towards Lia.

"Come on, we'll get a drink." Angel replied.

"I don't want a fucking drink. What the hell is going on? Naomi?"

I sighed heavily and pulled slightly away from Emily. We stared at each other for a good long moment. What I saw in those eyes that I would recognise anywhere no matter how many years had passed, I lost my breath as my chest tightened terribly. It broke my heart. Seeing her like this after all this time. What the fuck has happened to her? How could this happen?

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?" Lia asked desperately.

Emily's eyes left mine as she turned slightly to the left. She looked at Lia quickly and then back to me and the look in her eyes changed as if she just realised something. She moved away from me and quickly stood up and backed into the wall. I then also got up and just stood in the bathroom not knowing what to do. I was frozen. What does one possibly say in a situation such as this? I feel like a hypocrite to be honest. Here I am running and owning a business hiring strippers to dance in my club without a care in the world but having Emily in front of me who just put on the best fucking show I have ever seen, I have a huge fucking problem with it. She's not allowed to fuck-ing be that. I don't care if it's been 6 years and I don't care if I no longer have the fucking right. I don't fucking like it.

"Angel, you watch Emily, do you understand me? Don't you dare let her leave. I fucking mean it." I said aggressively.

I turned to Emily, the aggressiveness subsiding when I looked into her gorgeous brown eyes.

"Emily, don't… please don't leave. I'll be back I promise… just stay okay?" I pleaded.

Emily nodded quickly and replied with a "'kay."

I turned my body towards Lia's direction but my head didn't follow for a good few seconds. It stayed looking over at Emily as I walked towards the now doorless entry of the bathroom. When I did finally turn my attention to Lia, she was standing there trembling slightly. Worry, concern, confusion were all the emotions etched right across her face. I took Lia's hand but before I directed her to another room down the hallway I quickly looked at Angel who was staring hard at Emily in complete and utter shock. "Watch her." I repeated. Angel nodded in acknowledgement.

I walked further down the hallway gently tugging Lia behind me. God knows what the fuck I was going to say to her. She knew about Emily but she didn't know all that much. All she really knows is that I was in love with her and things didn't work out. That is all. I didn't go right into detail with anything. I opened the door at the end of the hall with my key and held it open for Lia to pass through. She walked into the room, spun around and folded her arms. She didn't fold them in an angry way; it was more to comfort herself. I closed the door behind me and sat on the small table that was pushed up against the far wall. I leaned forward and took Lia by the wrist and pulled her over to me. I didn't know what to say to her. I just stared at her like an idiot.

"So that's Emily?" Lia asked nervously.

I sighed heavily.

"Yeah." Was all I could manage to say.

She pursed her lips together and nodded as she stared at me intensely. She looked as if though she was analysing me.

"I need to go." She said quickly. She turned away.

"No, wait… Lia." I said grabbing her wrist panicked. She flicked her arm away from me.

"Don't." She warned. "I'm going home."

I knew then to follow her as much as I wanted to, it would be a bad idea. I pushed myself off of the table after a minute or so had passed and depressingly walked back down the hall to where Emily was. Angel and Emily were both smoking a cigarette but neither of them was talking.

"Thanks." I whispered to Angel.

She stood up straight after having been leaning on the wall.

"Well, I'll um… I'll leave you two to it then." She said, flicking her smoke into one of the toilets and walking out of the room hurriedly.

Emily continued to drag heavily on her smoke. She looked different to how she looked before I left the room with Lia. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. She seemed, I don't know… cold.

"So what's going to happen now?" She asked as she used one of her arms to hold my jacket closed.

I was confused about what she was talking about. She picked up on it.

"With the job, what's going to happen?"

What the fuck is going on here? Did she just actually ask me that? I shook my head as I went to speak though I made a complete mess of it.

"What, no… you're not… no."

Emily stepped closer and pushed me up against the wall.

"I need this job Naomi. I need it." She said desperately.

I'm not quite sure what happened but I felt that familiar feeling of rage sweep throughout my entire body. I pushed her off me and grabbed her by her shoulders as I spoke.

"What the fuck has happened to you?"

"I need this fucking job." She screamed.

I shook my head.

"FUCK YOU THEN." She responded. She pushed me back hard and went to walk out of the room.

(FUCK THAT. I'm not letting her go anywhere.)

I lunged forward and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into me from behind. She screamed for me to let her go but it wasn't happening. I 'escorted' her to the room I had taken Lia. I could lock the door with my key from the inside which ensured Emily couldn't fuck off anywhere. I did what I had to and turned to face Emily.

"What Naomi? Are you going to keep me locked in here forever like a prisoner?"

I breathed in and out slowly trying to keep my cool.

"If I fucking have to, then yes."

Emily scoffed. I changed the subject.

"Do you have any idea how much I've fucking missed you?" I confessed.

"I have an idea by the look of your girlfriend… or wife. I haven't quite figured it out yet." She said.

"Emily, what the hell is this?" I replied referring to her attitude. I know she loved me once. I fucking know she did, just I like I did. I know it's been six years but fuck me, you would think she would be fucking ecstatic to see me or if not ecstatic then at least treat me as a friend.

She raised her eyebrow.

"What? Oh this…" She said taking my jacket off of her and throwing it at me. She stepped a little closer. "Is this too much for you Naomi? A little bit too real?" She said in a low voice.

I tried to put my jacket back around her but she pushed my hands away.

"Emily, stop it." I said, trying again. This time she let me.

A piece of her hair had fallen in front of her face and I couldn't help but reach up to brush it away but when I did, she grabbed me by the wrist and stopped me. I decided to step back from her because she was displaying 'caged animal' behaviour. I didn't want her to freak out and try and get out of the room. I hadn't seen her for so long, the thought of her disappearing again caused me a great deal of anxiety.

"What happened to you?" I asked dismay evident in my voice.

"Don't act like you give a shit." She replied.

I looked at her in shock, my mouth open and my eyes wide.

"Emily, how the fuck can you say that? I must have sent you over 100 letters. You never fucking replied." I shouted in anger.

"You fucked off Naomi and you fucking left me. Not the other way around. Remember that." She said coldly.

"Did you not read my letters? I explained why I did. I fucking told you I would come back for you."

She looked at me strangely then.

"I never got your letters. I didn't get anything Naomi. Not even a fucking phone call."

"Emily I swear, I tried everything I could to get into contact with you. I went back to Bristol and everything. You fucking moved. How was I supposed to find you?"

Emily shook her head.

"Naomi, it was six years ago okay. I don't even care anymore."

"Don't fucking lie to me Emily. If you didn't care you wouldn't have reacted the way you did earlier." I said.

She looked away and stayed silent. I felt like I had entered the twilight zone. Who was this person in front of me? I know people change as they get older but this much? No fucking way. Something isn't right here. I went to say something else but Emily cut me off.

"There is a grave with your name on it." Emily said dryly.

"What? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

She looked up at me and stepped forward.

"You heard what I said." She replied.

"Oh so you're threatening me now?"

But then it clicked. She had said earlier that she thought I was dead.

"Wait, what do you mean?" I added.

I hadn't noticed but she was wearing a bracelet around her wrist. She took it off, reached for my wrist and slammed the piece of jewellery into my hand. I looked down at the bracelet and recognised it immediately.

"How did…"

"There was a19 year old found dead in a dumpster back in Bristol. She was unrecognisable and they were unable to identify her. She was wearing that. It was the only thing they had to go on."

"I… this was… this was stolen from me. Hang on, it was on her?" I asked.

Emily nodded. I dropped the piece of jewellery with a look of disgust on my face because the thought of it being on a dead girl sent shivers down my spine.

"She had been stabbed to death. They said she had blonde hair and blue eyes. Her height matched yours. She had been in the dumpster for several months before anybody found her. There were no dental records and nobody claimed her until they showed the bracelet on the news."

Emily's eyes went from sad to angered. I'm guessing she was remembering the day she made the call to say that she recognised the jewellery and it belonged to a girl by the name of Naomi Campbell. She swung her hand back and slapped me across the face cutting my lip.

"I thought it was you."

"Emily I'm sorry but I didn't know… how could this be my fault?"

"You left." She said coldly. She pursed her lips before she continued. "Are you letting me have this job or not because if you aren't, I would like to leave now."

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair.

"Do you feel nothing? Do you not care that it's been 6 fucking years since we have seen each other?"

Emily shrugged her shoulders looking uninterested. It angered the fuck out of me. If I didn't know better, she was pretending.

"I have thought about you every single fucking day Emily. I've been fucking broken since I left Bristol and then I was fucking shattered when you never replied to my letters. I still looked for you though because every day that went by without you, it was killing me inside and now I feel like a fucking idiot. All those years of heartache and what for? You obviously never loved me the same way I loved you…"

I turned and unlocked the door, turning the handle and forcefully swinging open the door. It made a loud bang when it hit the wall and put a hole through the plaster.

"You're not working here, so…" I paused and waved my hand towards the exit. "You're free to go."

Emily's lip quivered slightly which I thought was odd. She didn't give a fuck a minute ago and now even though she was trying her best, she looked as if she was about to burst into tears. I sighed when she didn't move.

"What is that you need Emily? Is it money?" I asked.

She stayed silent.

"Do you owe someone money?"

She nodded and spoke softly.

"I need this job."

I rubbed my face and eyes and tilted my head up, looking at the roof and exhaled heavily.

"You using?" I asked, disappointment seeping out.

"FUCK YOU NAOMI." Emily yelled. "Goodbye." She said as she stormed off towards the door. I reached over quickly and pulled her back. I pinned her in the corner of the room so she couldn't move. I took her left arm with her trying to pull it away but I looked at her seriously and she relented. She let me look. There was no track marks on that arm so I grabbed the other and checked it. It was the same. There were no needle marks on her arms at all but being a stripper and being pretty much naked, she wouldn't be injecting where people could see if she was using. What I did next may have been inappropriate but I needed to know and she wasn't answering me so I opened my jacket, the one she was wearing and checked the several other places that a person could ingest drugs intravenously. She didn't flinch; she didn't yell at me and tell me to stop. She stayed still and allowed me to carry on. I removed her shoes when I was satisfied and checked her feet and again, nothing. She was clean. It didn't mean that she wasn't using drugs. She could have been swallowing them, smoking them or snorting them but what I did know was that she wasn't injecting them which was a good sign.

I decided to give the conversation of us a rest and focused on her.

"I want to help you Emily but I can't do that if you don't talk to me." I said calmly.

"Pfft, why? So when you've decided that you've helped me enough, I have to fuck you to pay you back? I don't think so."

Whoa… I, I don't even know what to say about that.

"Drop the fucking attitude Emily. What's wrong with you? It's me, Naomi not some fucking sleazy prick off the street trying to get into your fucking pants. Jesus."

This hot and cold routine was getting old real fast.

"If you want me to let you keep this job, you better start talking Ems because otherwise you're not getting shit from me." I said. I was lying. I would help her regardless. I still loved her even if she didn't love me anymore.

She stayed silent. She just continually stared at me with a look that I couldn't decipher. I had never seen that look in her eyes before.

"Do you have a place to stay?" I asked hoping she would at least answer that.

"Yes." She replied.

"Where?"

"At the women's shelter and if not there, under a bridge."

"Fuck Emily…" I said. My eyes started to tear up upon hearing that. A tear fell and slid slowly down my cheek. I left it there.

"You can stay with me okay."

"I don't think your wife will appreciate that." She said.

"She's not my wife and I don't care if she doesn't. You're staying with me until you can sort something out." I replied sternly.

"No, that's okay. Thank you anyway."

"Emily, it's non-negotiable. If I have to drag you by the hair, I fucking will." I said, my voice rising towards the end. I fucking meant it too. If I had to do it, I wouldn't hesitate. How could I let her leave now knowing she'd be sleeping on the street? I don't care if she hates me, she will accept my help. I'll make her.

"Do I get to keep the job?" She asked with her eyebrow raised.

"We'll figure that out tomorrow morning okay?"

"No, I want to know now before I go anywhere with you."

"Emily, think back to when we were together yeah? There was a time you used to trust me whole fucking heartedly…"

She didn't reply but I could see she did remember.

"Trust me now." I finished.

She sighed heavily and nodded her head once. We walked out of the small room and headed towards my office. I took Emily to where she had her things and waited for her to get changed into her regular clothes consisting of a pair of tight arse light blue jeans, black heeled boots and a black zip up hoodie.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Yeah." Was all she replied.

I took the bag from her hands and carried it. I did that for two reasons. One reason was because I was just being a 'gentleman' and the other reason; I had an uneasy feeling like as soon as my back was turned she might run off on me. If I had her bag, she wouldn't want to leave without her things. She didn't resist when I reached out for it in fact she passed it over without hesitation so maybe I was wrong about her taking off when I least expected it but it made me feel better. We both walked out of the building and into the car park with me popping the boot of my car and Emily standing there and eyeing it off. She looked surprised.

"I see you've done well for yourself." She said. Emily was confusing the fuck out of me. One minute she was as cold as ice and the next, like now for example she almost sounded proud. I couldn't quite work it out.

"I suppose I have but it took a lot of hard work. Lots of sacrifices." I replied.

I quickly walked to the front passenger side door and opened it for her. She looked at me and then back to the car and got in. I closed it and jogged around to my side, joined Emily and started up the engine. The whole car trip back to my place was done in complete silence.

* * *

><p>Once home, Lia was in the middle of heating up some food when we entered through the front door. I told Emily that there was a spare bedroom down the hall way on the right and a bathroom directly adjacent from the room if she wished to have a shower and freshen up. After having a good look around at the house, she nodded in acknowledgment as she took a quick glance towards Lia's direction. Lia heard me speak to Emily and spun around with a look that made me think "Oh-oh" But she didn't say anything. She just folded her arms and leaned up against the kitchen bench watching on. Once Emily had departed, I walked over to Lia to try and use the time to quickly fill her in.<p>

"What is she doing here?" Lia asked.

"She needed a place to stay."

"So you bring her here?" She replied with her eyebrow raised.

I sighed.

"Lia, she had nowhere else to go. She needs help. I can't just turn my back on her."

Lia stayed silent for a moment.

"She had nowhere else to go? Where did she come from then?"

"She's been sleeping on the street for fucks sake. What did you want me to do? Send her back there? You know I can't do that."

"Why can't you Naomi? You're bringing trouble into our home." She said worriedly.

I exhaled heavily.

"Lia, she's not going to cause any trouble okay? Can you just let me do this please?" I paused because the Lia I knew wouldn't be saying something such as "Send her back on the street." She wasn't like that. It was a bit of a shock to hear. "What is the real issue here? This doesn't sound like you."

Lia stayed silent and moved away from the bench and stopped reheating the food she had put in the microwave.

"Hun?" I said.

She ignored me and scrapped the plate into the bin and put the dish in the sink.

"There is more in the fridge if you're hungry." She replied.

I stepped over to her and pulled her up.

"Hun, tell me what's…"

"I saw the way you looked at her." She said, cutting me off. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed." She leaned up and kissed my cheek in a slightly aggressive manner. "Goodnight."

"Lia…?"

"Goodnight Naomi."

I was left in the kitchen shaking my head. Could shit get any worse? I go to work, I watched the most entertaining show of my life and get excited about it only to find out that Paige was in fact Emily. That was fucking depressing enough. Then I find out the girl that I've always loved and been fucking torn up about all these years doesn't even care. I might as well just be a fucking stranger. To top it all off, she's been living on the street and now my home life has been disrupted terribly because I have a girlfriend who isn't at all impressed about me moving in my ex. I get the whole ex thing but Jesus Christ, the circumstances surrounding the decision I made, surely Lia could understand where I was coming from? I thought she would have. Maybe she is just in shock or something. Maybe she just needs to sleep it off and calm down.

I walked over to the fridge and grabbed the food Lia had cooked earlier in the day. I sat the bowls on the bench and took two plates from the cupboard and some cutlery from the draw. Emily was always hungry when we were younger; pinching the food off of my plate after she had finished her own etc. so I took a guess and assumed that she would be absolutely starving now, especially after the show. I made up two plates, giving her a generous serve and heated them up while Emily was in the shower. I didn't know if she would like it but it wasn't anything that you would need an acquired taste for. It was just penne pasta with Napoli sauce, crumbed chicken breast and some crumbed eggplant. Actually, on second thought I think she would enjoy it. She likes Italian food. Well, she used to anyway but I guess we'll find out soon enough.

To be honest, I was feeling quite nervous. I had so many fucking questions to ask her but with the way she behaved at the club; I didn't want to bombard her with them. I didn't want her to leave. I might not ever find her again and the thought of that almost brought on a panic attack. My chest was so tight, my breathing shallow and my hand trembling that when I tried to have a glass of cold water, I spilt the whole fucking lot all over me… I heard Emily's soft footsteps behind me and turned around to face her. She was dressed back in the clothes she was wearing earlier. With the anxiety already there, the thought of her having absolutely nothing except the outfit she wore during her dance and the clothes on her back, I dropped the glass mainly due to my muscles no longer being in my control and watched it smash into a million little pieces all over the hard wooden floorboards. I just felt a whole heap of heartache and sadness… Emily took a seat at the kitchen bench on one of the stools and gave me a small smile. It distracted me instantly from the panic I was feeling. I got my arse into gear and grabbed the dust pan and broom and swept up the broken glass and tipped it in the bin.

"Hungry?" I asked her.

She discreetly sniffed the air, breathing in the aroma of the heated up food. I only knew what she was doing because whenever she did that, her nostrils flared very slightly.

"Starving." She replied.

I displayed a small grin as I passed her the plate I had made up for her as well as a knife and folk accompanied with a napkin. She took it gently from me, her hand brushing mine and I almost collapsed to the floor because those stupid things I call knees fucking buckled. I shook it off and walked over to the overhead cupboard and took out two glasses and placed one in front of Emily.

"Would you like a drink?"

"What do you have?" She asked.

I opened the fridge.

"Um." I said as I looked inside. "Water, orange juice, coke, lemonade…"

"I'll have a coke please." She replied not letting me finish.

I took a can from the top shelf and cracked it open, pouring some into Emily's glass. She thanked me and took a sip for the fizzy drink. I stayed on the opposite side of the counter across from her when she snapped me out of my little daze. I hadn't realised but I had been staring at her.

"Aren't you hungry?" She asked.

"Oh… um." I looked down at my plate and back at her. "No, not really." I finished off saying.

I was feeling a bit sick to be honest. All this was just way too much for someone to handle in one day. It was overwhelming. She sat up a little and leaned over and used her folk to take some more chicken and eggplant.

(Jesus, where does she put it all?)

"No point in wasting it." She said, chuckling. "It's delicious. Did you make this?"

"No, Lia did."

"Ah, the girlfriend. Well, she's certainly a good cook." Emily replied before taking a mouthful of food.

I nodded, agreeing with her. I looked off to the right at the clock on the wall. It was 12.24 in the am.

"Can you give me a couple minutes? I just need to make a quick phone call."

"Yeah sure." Emily replied as she continued to eat.

I walked out of the kitchen, through the living area and entered the study. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled Angel's phone number. It took a few rings but finally she answered.

"Ang, I need a massive favour."

"What is it?" She said as if she was rolling her eyes at the same time. I could just tell by the tone in her voice.

"Can I swing by in about 30 minutes and pick up the key to the shop?"

"Does this have to do with Emily?"

"Yeah."

"Naoms, I'm like glad you got to see her again and all that but babe you don't know her anymore. You need to be careful yeah? The last thing I want to see is you get taken for a ride."

"I won't. I'm not stupid Angel."

"Yeah well, don't think that I won't be watchin' okay? Money to some, people will fuck with your head to get what they want and Emily wouldn't have a hard time in doing that."

"I know Ang… I know."

"Alright then… you've got the key to get in. I'll leave the shop one's on the coffee table. I'll probably be asleep when you get here. I'm fucked."

"Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." I said seriously.

"No need babe… anything for you." She replied hanging up shortly after.

I sighed and placed my phone in my pocket. I walked back to where Emily was and heard the tap running. She was washing up her dishes.

"Emily… we need to go somewhere when you finish."

She turned to face me with a curious look in her eye.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there."

She looked confused but then turned back to what she was doing and placed the plates on the drying rack as well as the cutlery she had used. She dried her hands with a tea towel and folded it neatly, putting it back on the bench. She looked at me with what I could have sworn was a look of sadness.

"I understand Naomi. Let me just collect my things and I will be out of your hair." She said.

I stepped closer to her.

"No, it isn't that. You're welcome here. It's fine. I just want to take you somewhere, that's all."

"Um, okay."

"Come on… before we get there though, I have to make a quick stop."

Emily nodded quickly and walked towards the front door with me not far behind her.

* * *

><p>I pulled up at my destination and Emily and I both got out of the car. She looked left, then she looked right and then finally turned to me looking even more confused than she had before back at the house. Nothing was open and I could tell by the look on her face she was wondering "What the hell are we doing here?"<p>

"Follow me." I said.

I pulled the keys I had collected from Jess out of my pocket and walked up to a shop front and opened it. I ushered Emily inside and told her there was a light switch just around the side next to the shop front window. She went over and turned the lights on as I locked the shop back up.

"Naomi, what is this?"

"Whatever you need, take it." I replied.

She seemed to look annoyed. She didn't say anything so I continued.

"Were you planning on sleeping in your jeans?"

"I'm not a fucking charity case Naomi." She said, walking towards the door angrily.

"Who the fuck said anything about charity?" I responded, grabbing her arm. "You worked last night, did you not?"

She stayed silent.

"You can pay out of your wage."

She seemed to relax a little. She knew she had nothing to come back with. She needed clothes, she knew she did. Angel's shop had everything you could possibly need. Jeans, tops, jackets, underwear, socks, hats, belts, shoes you name it and it was there.

After about a year when we first opened the Velvet Curtain, Angel had come into my office and asked what I thought about us opening a retail clothing store. I wasn't too keen about it because I just wasn't into that stuff plus I knew I wouldn't be able to find the time so initially I had said no. Angel being Angel kept at it and I could see she was quite passionate about it. She wanted to stock high-end fashion for a cheaper price. She had done her research quite well. Most of these stores selling top quality fashion were charging their customers ridiculous prices. If I remember correctly they were marking up their stock at a minimum of 300% and making an absolute fortune ripping people off. Angel explained that she wanted to undercut all these bastards and sell her stuff way cheaper. She said _"We'd get the customers. Why would they buy the same pair of jeans for 400 when they can come to my shop and get them for 200? It's volume Naoms, it's how much stock you move that will make the money." _I had a good think about it for a couple of weeks and thought "what the hell" and chipped in some of my savings to help her open the shop she called Edge. We made an agreement that I would receive 30% of the takings because all I would be doing were the books and making the orders which I could do from the office of the club. I ran the club by myself for several months while she ventured out and set up the clothing store and it turned out to be a success. So much so that Angel had knocked on my door one evening with a new contract printed up and her signature already placed where it needed to be. She wanted to go halves in the profits and she said she could focus most of her time back on the club now because she had hired someone to run the clothing store. That someone was one of our girls from the Velvet Curtain. She had fallen pregnant and told us that she didn't want to be a stripper anymore and that she was regrettably leaving. Angel knew she didn't have any qualifications to get what most would call a 'respectable' job so she offered her a job at the shop and trained her up. The last thing anyone wants to see is a young single mother struggling to make ends meet to feed her child and when things turn desperate, start working the streets as a hooker… I didn't want to accept the 50%. I told her I was happy with the previous agreement but she gave me the _"if it wasn't for you Naoms, I wouldn't have it. Don't refuse my offer and insult me. Sign the damn papers"_ speech, so I did. The shop is her 'baby' so to speak so I told her I didn't want a key to the shop because truly, it was hers. That's why I had to collect it from her before. It may be 50/50 but at the end of the day, it was her creation. She put in the hard work and I wasn't going to take that away from her…

"How much did I get paid?" Emily asked.

"Um, I don't know yet… I haven't tallied up last night's earnings."

"I don't want to be here then. When you know, then we can come back." She said.

"Wait." I said putting my hand gently on her shoulder to stop her from moving. I couldn't be absolutely sure but I could make a rough estimate. The new girls always got paid a base rate of 200 pounds a night. If the club was dead and we earned hardly anything, they would still get their 200. If the club was a full house and we made a killing, they would receive their 200 plus a bonus and for that one night they could go home with 500 pounds including whatever tips they made during that one night. I knew for sure that Emily would have earned at least that and if she didn't and there was a short fall of a 100, honestly it didn't bother me.

"You definitely would have earned no less than 800 tonight." I lied. She needed clothes. It didn't bother me if I gave her extra out of my own pocket. It wasn't an issue. I mean this was Emily yeah? Even now after six years, I knew I would still do anything for her. Even if she had changed like Angel had suggested. I didn't care and not only that… I was in a position to help.

Her jaw almost hit the floor as she stared at me wide eyed. She couldn't quite believe her ears.

"800?" She repeated.

I nodded and saw that she may have thought I was bullshitting a little bit.

"Yeah Ems… 800. Think about it. If I'm buying a bottle of moscato for 7 and I'm charging 12 per glass, one glass almost covers 2 bottles."

"And people actually pay that?"

"Yep." I nodded. "Especially when your only clientele are high rollers. Classy club, classy customers… most of the time." I chuckled. "Anyway, go on… get whatever you need. If you're so hell bent on not accepting help from an 'old friend' than 800 is your budget. I'll wait here." I said as I pulled out a packet of smokes and lit one.

After Emily had selected an array of underwear, jeans, tops and jackets and a couple pairs of shoes we left for home. Once there, I helped her take all the tags off and popped them in the wash. "Why? They're brand new" you ask? Well I'm a bit funny like that. You see, even though something is brand new and has never left the shop people have still tried those clothes on. If they didn't like it, it's put back on the rack innit? You don't know what that person's hygiene was like and that's the thought that runs through my head when I bring newly purchased clothes home so I always wash them before I hang them in my own wardrobe and wear them.

Emily went off to bed exhausted so she said goodnight. I lent her a pair of trackies and a singlet so she would be more comfortable… My brain was racing a million miles an hour and I knew there would be no way I could fall asleep so I called Angel when it was 4am knowing that she would be awake getting organised for work and let her know that I was going to have the day off today. She was okay with it which made shit easier for me. I washed all of Emily's new clothes, dried them off and ironed them and got them ready for her to wear. I didn't know what was going to happen as far as her and me talking because let's face it, we needed to but Emily seemed to have a wall up so I think it was going to take time. I was fine with that. As long as she was near me, I was fine with waiting.

* * *

><p>"Hun… babe…"<p>

I felt someone shaking me lightly.

"Naomi?"

I opened my eyes slowly and squinted away from the bright light on my face. Once the sting in my eyes subsided I turned back and found Lia looking down at me. I shifted and sat up quickly in a fright. I wasn't meant to fall asleep. I only laid down on the couch because my body was aching from the long day I had yesterday.

(SHIT)

"Where's Emily? Is she still…"

I was worried that Emily would wake up and leave without saying a word and I'd never see her again. I'd never get the chance to explain to her exactly what had happened and I'd never get to know how she ended up the way she did and although it really isn't any of my business… I just needed to know because I felt responsible. I had left and I wasn't there to protect her. I had an awful feeling that she had been through hell and back several times. I just wanted her to have someone she could trust, someone she could tell these things to, someone who would listen and never judge her…

"She left just a little over an hour ago…"

I shot up instantly and grabbed my keys off of the coffee table. I felt Lia take hold of the back of my shirt and pull me back towards her.

"It's okay. She said she would be back no later than 2… she left all her things here." Lia said.

I checked the time which was 12.30 pm. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and breathed in deeply in an attempt to control the panic that I was feeling. Thankfully, it worked.

"I made you a coffee." Lia declared. "Here." She said pulling me back to the couch and passing me the hot mug. I took a sip and grabbed my packet of smokes off of the small table in front of me and lit one. I took a long drawback and held it there before exhaling. A smoke first thing in the morning or afternoon in this case, as bad as they are for you was just simply… delightful. Lia watched me as I took another sip of coffee before she spoke.

"Naomi, I'm sorry with how I behaved last night…"

"It's okay." I said cutting her off.

"No it's not. I was being immature. It was a shameful display. I'm ashamed of myself. You're only trying to help her. It was unacceptable."

I sighed heavily with not only relief because Lia wasn't pissed off at me but I was also wondering what Emily might be doing right as we spoke. She didn't have any money on her. I turned to look at Lia and leaned in, kissing her soft red lips.

"Really babe, it's okay. I'm not angry with you or anything. It was a bit hectic yesterday. I get it." I replied.

She leaned in and kissed me. She pulled back and displayed a small smile before she sat back properly on the couch.

"I had a talk with her." Lia stated.

"With Emily?" I said nervously. I had no idea what about or how that went but suddenly my mouth went dry and my hands went a little clammy.

"She was very… how can I say this? … Protective of you."

"Huh?" I said. That didn't make sense, especially with the attitude I was getting from her. She didn't seem to give a shit that I had been her first love, her first everything. I was a nobody to her now.

"When I first came down the stairs, she was already showered and dressed. I figured you had taken her to your shop…"

"Angel's shop."

Lia rolled her eyes.

"Okay, Angels shop. She looked nothing like the girl I saw last night. She scrubs up well." Lia said, going off track a little.

I stayed silent.

"She was placing a pillow under your head and a blanket over the top of you. She didn't notice I was standing in the kitchen. She hadn't heard me come down the stairs. I said good morning to her but she seemed to be in a bit of a daze and I ended up startling her. She immediately stood over you. She was glaring at me like some kind of wild animal…"

I was completely confused. What the fuck?

"I convinced her to stay and have a coffee before she went out. I made her some toast as well."

"Okay…"

"I made a joke about you always working late and falling asleep on the couch fully clothed to try and break the ice but she looked at me strangely."

That's all I needed… Emily and Lia fighting. Great. Fucking fantastic.

"Before she left, she looked me straight in the eye and said _"Just remember, you're the lucky one. Not the other way around." _And then she left."

"Um… oh-kay" I said slowly. I had no idea. That was just fucking strange.

"I don't think she likes me very much…" Lia said.

"It's okay; she doesn't really like me either." I replied depressingly.

Lia picked up on my tone.

"Naoms, what happened between the two of you?"

I didn't answer her straight away. My mind went back to when we were happy and together. Just the thought of having her, the thought of Emily being mine almost made me tear up as guilt and sadness settled into my chest, weighing heavily but I couldn't do that in front of Lia. It would only cause problems. She would know I was still very much in love with Emily. She would know that I always have been. I cleared my throat before I spoke.

"I got…" I paused and sighed. "I got into some trouble when I was living in Bristol. I was a bit on the wild side when I was younger… I had to leave."

"Why? What happened?"

"There was a big argument with Jenna…"

Lia cut me off.

"Who's Jenna?"

"Emily's mother. She slapped her a few times and was calling her a slut in front of me. She said something about my mum and I just snapped. I lost it. Mum had just died, ya know?" I paused for a brief moment. "She ended up going to the police and reporting it. The police were waiting for me when I got home but I ran. I already had a record. I didn't want to go to jail. Jenna was a fucking miserable bitch… ultimately it was her interference that separated us."

"So you just left Emily without saying a word?"

"Well, yeah pretty much but I mean I tried. I wanted her to come with me but there were police at her house too. They spotted me and I bolted. I didn't even get to see her before I left. I tried everything I could to get in contact with her after that but… it didn't work out."

Lia stayed silent, deep in thought.

"Well that would explain the hostility but why haven't you told her?"

"I tried to believe me… she just doesn't care anymore. She said so herself."

"Hun." Lia said placing her hand on my thigh. "She wouldn't be so hostile towards you if she didn't care. She wouldn't have made sure you were comfortable this morning if she didn't care. She wouldn't have told me that I was the lucky one if she didn't care."

"That's just Emily being Emily. As cold as she is now, she still has a little bit of a heart underneath it all. It doesn't matter anyway. It's been six years, we've moved on with our lives."

Lia didn't say anything which I thought odd. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and got up.

"I'm gonna have a shower. I won't be long." I said, ending the conversation that I no longer wanted have.

* * *

><p>Lia had gone off to work not long after my shower. She announced that she had to leave while I was getting myself dressed. All day, I've been sitting on this damn couch like a fucking idiot waiting for Emily to return. The amount of anxiety she has caused has been phenomenal and when it reached 2pm and she hadn't returned, I almost grabbed my keys to go out and look for her but it wouldn't have been my smartest idea because if she came back while I was out, she couldn't get into the house so I decided to wait. Three o'clock went past, then four and then five and there was still no Emily and that's when I started to feel depressed because I was coming to terms with the fact that she had done a runner and she wasn't coming back but then the doorbell rang. You have never seen anyone get up so quick in your entire fucking life. I swear my feet weren't even touching the ground. I flew through that fucking air like a shooting guard playing in the NBA, slam dunking the front door of my house. Had it been a basketball net, the glass would have shattered all over me, I have no doubt. I opened the door forcefully, stepping out immediately and placing my hand gently on Emily's face with concern and complete fucking rage consuming me entirely.<p>

"What the fuck happened?"

She moved her head away from my hand and walked past me and into the house. I followed straight away, kicking the door closed as Emily headed straight for her room.

"Emily… what happened?"

She had a bruised cheek and a cut lip and I decided there and then that if I found out who did that to her, I would fucking kill them.

"Nothing happened."

I scoffed loudly.

"It's nothing. I fell over." She said.

"Bullshit Ems… someone's smacked you right across the fucking face. Who was it?" I said spinning her around to face me.

"No one Naomi… I just told you what happened." She said calmly as she went over to the set of drawers and pulled out some fresh clothes.

I stayed silent and quickly looked her up and down. She had a bruise on her arm too.

"I suppose you're going to tell me that hand print was caused because you walked into a fucking door ey?"

She sighed heavily.

"I don't want to talk about it and quite frankly Naomi; it is none of your business."

"Well I am FUCKING making it my business. Who did it?" I responded back infuriated at not just the state of her but it kind of hurt that she would say that even if it was true.

"Just leave it okay. Leave it." She responded. She grabbed a clean towel that I'm assuming Lia had placed there for her and left the room. I just stood there. Even when I heard the water from the shower turn on, I couldn't move. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. I haven't felt rage like this since I was a teenager. To keep myself under control was going to be difficult. I wanted to know who fucking hurt her because I wanted to not just pay them a visit but I wanted to destroy them. Completely fucking annihilate them for raising their hand to Emily. Cutting their hands off right now so they could never EVER do that to her again was looking real good from where I was standing. I was even picturing what ways I would go about it. Would I use a saw? Would I use a machete? A meat cleaver, a chainsaw? Or would I use a standard kitchen knife to prolong it and make it as fucking painful as possible. Or maybe I would cut their fingers off one by one and then sever their hands? Then slap them around a little after I used an iron to stem the bleeding so they wouldn't bleed out and inflict more pain. All of these wonderful possibilities… and I think I'm in need of a psychiatrist, desperately. Jesus Christ.

(Yeah, maybe you need Jesus too.)

How long was I standing there for? The only reason I snapped out of the daze I was in was because Emily had returned, showered and wrapped in a towel. The sound of her clearing her throat brought me back out of my head.

"Do you think I could have some privacy or do you want to watch?" She said raising her eyebrow.

The anger was still very much present especially when I looked upon her again and saw the bruising and cuts. It actually made the rage rise to a higher level. I was stuck and just continued to look at her. She undid her towel and dropped it when I didn't respond, standing in front of me and staring intensely, completely naked. I blinked a million times and turned away awkwardly, hurriedly walking out of the room and whispering a "Sorry" as I passed her. I walked into the kitchen and I reckon I sculled about three glasses of icy cold water to try and distract myself from the anger I was feeling. As I said earlier, it had been a while since I had felt so outraged that I had forgotten how to keep a lid on it. I was out of practice and finding it extremely difficult to keep myself under control. I pinched a smoke from the packet I had left on the bench and stormed outside, desperate to cool down. I lit it and dragged heavily, pacing up and down in an effort to rid myself of these bad feelings and thoughts I was experiencing. I must have looked like a lunatic. I fucking felt like one.

"Do you mind if I have one of those?" Emily asked as she poked her head out through the doorway.

I just simply nodded. She went back inside and grabbed the packet off of the bench and came outside to join me. She put a smoke to her mouth and then checked the packet for a lighter but there wasn't one in there. I stepped forward and lit the cigarette for her. She took a decent drag, tilted her head slightly up and to the side, exhaling a cloud of smoke and saying "Thanks."

"Emily what…"

"So, what's happening with work?" She asked, cutting me off. She knew I was going to ask her again about what happened. She obviously didn't want to talk about it or tell me.

I sighed heavily. I just didn't understand why she was being like this. She was just so fucking closed and secretive. You would seriously think we had just met. You would never in a million years think that we had history together. I decided to play along.

"You're not working as a stripper Emily. Not in my club." I replied shaking my head.

Her eyes changed from looking questioningly to looking quite pissed off.

"I knew I couldn't trust you… I fucking knew it. Why the fuck…"

I put my hand up for her to stop. You should try that next time you're in a conversation with someone to test it out. I can't remember who told me about it but I tried it a few times and to my amazement, people did actually stop talking so when I felt that I wouldn't be able to get a word in and needed to regain control of the conversation, I used the technique. It came in handy at work with troublesome customers who just wouldn't shut the fuck up and listen.

"Let me finish." I interrupted seriously. "I said not as a STRIPPER. If you need to work, I'm more than happy to give you a job behind the bar.

"A fucking barmaid? Naomi, I won't make enough money serving drinks. I need to be on stage…"

"You'll make a decent wage… it's more work obviously but that's all I'm prepared to offer you. There's no fucking way I'm lettin' you shake your arse in front of a room FULL of perverts. I'm sorry but that's how it is. Take it or leave it." I stated.

"I don't have experience. I wouldn't even know what the fuck I was doing. I know stripping. I know dancing. That is what I want to do…"

"I'll train you… it's not difficult."

"But…"

"End of fuck-ing discussion." I said somewhat annoyed. I hated her taking her clothes off in front of a roomful of people. I fucking despised it.

She wasn't happy about it but she relented and accepted the job I was offering. There was a long moment of silence before I decided to try my luck once again with getting her to open up and tell me something… anything about her.

"Now, are you going to tell me why you so desperately need money? Why you have bruising all over your face? Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened to you?"

She sighed and flicked her cigarette over the neighbour's fence and walked back inside the house without a word spoken. I really did feel like grabbing her and shaking the life out of her to make her tell me. It pissed me off that she couldn't see I genuinely cared and was fucking worried about her. It really did.

* * *

><p>I decided to go to bed early that night. I was so fucking stressed out about Emily, I couldn't even look at her without wanting to continue on with the questions and it was like walking on eggshells around her because she was being so cold towards me and I knew if I asked or said the wrong thing she would more than likely snap and as I've mentioned before, leave. It seemed to be the main worry because I was always thinking it. I felt that it would be safer if I just locked myself away until the morning. I needed to clear my head and then try and go back into the conversation rationally, rather than emotionally.<p>

"Naoms, are you okay?" Lia asked as she flicked the light switch on in our bedroom. "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

I shrugged due to not really having an answer. It just felt better to be in the dark. It felt safer and much more peaceful… She sighed as she looked at me. You would be blind to not be able to see the worry etched all over my face. She walked over to me and climbed up onto the bed swinging a leg over my hip, straddling me. She took my hands and held them as she spoke.

"I'm guessing you had a bad day today?"

I nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it? It might help if you get it off of your chest?" She said.

"No, it's okay. I'll manage." I replied with a small distracted looking smile.

Lia just stared into my eyes for a while quite seriously but she let it go. She didn't force me into talking about it and anyway, she knew it would have had to do with Emily. She leaned down over me, placing her hands on either side of my head and lightly pressed a kiss on the corner of my mouth.

"I know what would make you feel better." She whispered, kissing me again but this time on the lips.

She pulled back, sitting upright. I couldn't help but follow her. I reached down and lifted her top, assisting her in taking it off. Lia stood up on the bed in front of me and slowly lowered her jeans, kicking them off onto the floor. Her panties were next... I was in a hurry all of a sudden so I pulled her back down on top of me by the hips, forcing her down in a straddling position. She gasped loudly and then whimpered when I crashed my lips onto hers and kissed the life out of her. She loved it when I took control like that. She would go weak and submit. It drove her crazy…

(It used to drive Ems crazy too…)

I shook the thought away and tried to concentrate on who I was with. I put my hand to Lia's middle and discovering that she was already wet, I lifted her up and pushed two fingers inside. Immediately, she started to rock against my hand at a rather fast pace. Her excitement getting the better of her. She started to pant and moan loudly, her hips deciding to have a mind of their own, rocking faster and grinding down harder. I flipped us over with Lia now on her back. I pushed her further up the bed, my thighs coming up to the back of hers as I lay between her legs, lifting them and parting them slightly further apart. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me down closer to her as I thrust in and out using my hips to guide my hand… I don't know why but my mind went back to when I was a teenager. It was after Emily had given me that sexy lap dance in the hat and boots. The way we were frantic and eager. The way I was making love to her, the noises she was making as I took her higher and higher, the way she clung to me when she came…

"I have to stop." I panted.

"What? Why?" Lia breathed.

I shook my head quickly as I buried it into the crook of Lia's neck, panting heavily.

"I… I just can't."

"Naomi, look at me… what's wrong?" She said almost panicked. I had never stopped during sex before. I had never said no to her unless I was extremely exhausted and knew I wouldn't last but apart from that, I was always up for it. It didn't matter how stressed, how upset, how angry I was… I was ALWAYS up for it.

"Look at me." She said again.

I lifted my head so she could see my eyes. I must have still been looking back on the past because she frowned.

"Where were you just now?" She asked.

I shook my head again.

"I just can't do this… I'm sorry. I have… I have too much on my mind. I can't concentrate." I said quickly. "I'm sorry." I said again as I retrieved my hand and got up off her and onto my knees. She reached out and clutched onto my shirt, pulling me back down on top of her. I placed my hands on either side of her body, holding myself up.

"It's okay. We don't have to do anything… talk to me… what's wrong?" she whispered.

"Everything that's happened this week. It's too much and I just can't do this right now." I said breaking eye contact. "It's me… I'm all fucked up. It's not you." I added, leaning down and kissing her before pulling away and getting off of the bed completely.

"Naomi?" She called out as I walked towards the bedroom door. I didn't reply. I just had to get out of there. I had to get out of this house. It was making me feel anxious and I fucking hated that feeling. It made me feel closed in, suffocated and trapped. I needed to breathe…

* * *

><p>"Something's up Naoms… she isn't the same girl we used to know." Angel said while we both observed Emily from a distance. It was her second day on the job. She was doing quite well. She appeared to be an extremely quick learner. I had showed her what I knew but the one person in this place that was more than qualified was Jessie so I had her help Emily along. They seemed to be getting on like a house on fire which made me somewhat happy. Going off of Emily's attitude towards me, had she brought that here and treated everyone that way, she wouldn't have made many friends but it would seem that her problem was strictly with me. I guess it's understandable considering what happened all those years ago but at the same time, you would think that she would want to talk about it to like clear the air and be able to close that chapter of her life.<p>

"I know that Angel. She's been living with me, remember?"

"That attitude of hers is rubbing off on you, innit… Fucking hell babe, you need to like have a drink, take a chill pill or get fucking laid." Angel chuckled.

"Shut the fuck up." I replied quickly. I wasn't in the mood.

She turned serious.

"Look, all I'm saying is, something isn't sittin' right with me… No one changes that much."

"Angel, we have no fucking idea why she's like this. We don't know what's happened to her in the last 6 years. It obviously hasn't been rainbows and fuck-ing butterflies."

There was silence for a moment.

"Yeah, I 'spose." Angel replied in a tone that told me she wasn't entirely convinced.

"We're not gonna know anything until she decides to tell us… if she ever does. She may not. I don't know." I said shrugging at the end.

"I don't… wait, Naomi… fuck."

I stormed over towards Emily after the guy she was talking to started to touch her inappropriately. Emily had pushed his hand away but he went in again, touching her arse and pushing her into him.

"OI… what the fuck are you doing?" I yelled over the music.

Emily stepped back away from the bloke, the bloke grinning sleazily at me. He made me sick and I decided right then and there, I didn't like him and he wasn't welcome in my club anymore.

"Nothin' babe." He said. "Just getting' what I paid for."

I raised my eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" I said, discreetly grabbing a bottle off of a nearby table as I approached the guy.

He looked over at a very uneasy Emily. His eyes were raking all over her body. I squeezed the bottle tighter.

"I slipped the bitch a 50. She owes me a blow job."

I looked at him for a very long moment. The grin he had on his face slowly faded away as he looked into my eyes and sore death staring back at him. I swung my arm and smashed the bottle over that motherfuckers head, bits of glass flying everywhere. He fell to his knees instantly, semi-conscious and in a daze. I lunged forward at him and raised my arm still holding onto the neck of the bottle and went to plunge it into the fucker's neck but was pushed away right at the last minute. I lost the bottle but rage had taken over at this point and so I went for him again and threw a hard punch to the side of his face. It was most satisfying. I wanted to give him another one, I went to give him another one but again, someone interfered and dragged me off of him. Security ran over and picked the bloke up off the floor. Angel approached the guy who was being restrained by security, slapped him across the face to gain his attention and grabbed his chin to get him to look at her seen he was still out of it. "If I ever see you in here again, you'll be lucky if you're still breathin'." she said. She then looked up at security and told them to "Get this piece of shit out of my club."

I was still fucking outrage and struggling to get free.

"Naoms, it's okay… it's okay. Relax." I heard her sweet husky voice whisper into my ear. She had her arms around my waist holding me tightly against her. I felt calm slowly start to wash over me and I felt Emily do the thing she always did when I used to get like this, she would softly stroke my stomach or any part she of me she could to snap me out of my homicidal rage and after all this time it still worked. I felt myself relax and the fucked up thoughts of how I wanted to kill the bloke fade away. I never quite figured it out. Someone else doing the exact same thing to try and calm me down never worked. It only ever worked with Emily.

"Naoms, it's alright… he's gone now." She whispered. "He's gone."

I breathed in deeply to get myself back under control completely and felt Emily let me go. I turned to her and just stared into her still beautiful brown eyes. Shock came over me when I saw my Emily staring back. The girl I fell in love with from the moment I first laid eyes on her but it was like she sensed she had let her guard down and her eyes changed. Her stare became hard, her face blank…

"I need to get back to work." She said flatly.

"Ems?" I said stepping closer.

She took a step back still staring at me with that hardened stare.

"I need to go back to work." She repeated. She turned away and went to walk off but before she did, she stopped and looked down at her feet.

"You should go and have a smoke or something… calm yourself down." She added before she walked back towards the bar to join a horrified looking Jessie who I have no doubt witnessed the altercation.

I felt Angel grab my arm and drag me roughly behind her into the back office where I worked most of the days I was here.

"What the fuck was that Naomi?"

I didn't say anything. I stepped towards the desk and took a smoke from my packet and lit it with a shaky hand. This is the part I hated when I got angry. The adrenaline wears off and makes me tremble slightly. It made me look like I was scared and that's what I fucking hated about it because I wasn't. I was far from scared. When I was explosive like the way I just was, I feared no one. I didn't have time to fear them no matter if they were male or female. My mind would lock onto one thing and one thing only. Seek and destroy. It wasn't until after, once these dumb fucking shakes subsided due to the high levels of adrenaline, it wasn't until then that I thought to myself with a clearer head just how stupid I was and how badly it could have turned out for me if the person for example was carrying a blade or a piece. Too late then though innit? Maybe not now seen nothing happened to me but one day, it could be…

"Don't give me that shit Angel… you fucking heard what he said." I snapped back.

Angel got right up in my face and pushed me hard against the desk.

"So what? So fucking what Naomi? We get wankers like that all the fucking time don't we?" She screamed. "THIS is our fucking club for fucks sake…" She ran a frustrated hand through her hair as she stepped back and gave me some room. "What if he reports us? What if he goes to the cops and presses charges? We're FUCKED." She spat aggressively.

I just stood there staring at her in silence as I dragged on my cigarette. She was right, don't get me wrong but I was still riled up from what happened earlier and I didn't want to unleash it onto Angel. She slapped the cigarette from my hand as I went to take another drag like it was annoying her. It flew across the room and hit the wall and fell to the floor.

"I'm… I'm sorry." I sighed heavily.

Angel went over and picked the smoke up that was still lit and took a huge fucking drag one after the other…

"Eh, Ang, it's been on the floor."

"Does it look like I give a fuck?" She yelled back.

(Obviously not.)

She looked deep in thought for a moment until she started to shake her head before turning towards me.

"Emily can't work here…"

"What? She…"

"No, I'm sorry Naomi but she can't. We can't have a repeat of what just happened. It will fucking ruin us. This is our place of business for fucks sake. You don't shit where you eat. Jesus fucking Christ Naoms... you of all people should fucking know that."

"Ang, I swear I won't do it again okay? I swear to you just please, let her stay." I pleaded a little too desperately.

"What's gonna happen next time Naoms? When someone grabs her arse or flirts with her hmm? Puts his hands all over her and says he wants to fuck her? What the fuck is gonna happen then?"

"I'll handle it better… I'll call security, I'll fucking walk away just please, let her stay." I replied.

Angel sighed heavily and shook her head again.

"I can't believe I'm doin' this." She said to herself looking up at the roof before she turned to face me. "One more incident Naoms… she's gone. It'll be on you so you fucking well better make damn sure you keep yourself in check. I mean it. This is my business too and fucked if I'm gonna let you fuck that up because you're still in love with her… Do you hear me? One more chance. You blow that and she's out of here so fast it'll make your fucking head spin." She said, pointing her finger at me to prove her point.

"Thank you." I said, hugging Angel in appreciation.

"I mean it Naomi." She said again as she responded to the hug.

"I know. It won't happen again… I promise."

* * *

><p>Several weeks had passed and Emily was doing an excellent job. You would never have thought that she had only just learnt how to manage a bar. She displayed the same qualities as someone who had years of experience. It did make me feel proud. She was at work on time, she was reliable and she didn't do a half arsed job. She worked extremely hard. It was good to see and I found myself feeling content even though Emily was still acting strangely towards me. She was still on the cold side. It was like how someone from work would treat you. You know they don't really like you but they speak to you on a professional level and never discuss anything outside of work. They never tell you what they did on the weekend; they never discuss anything about their private lives at all. I understood that, I was very much like that myself with most of the girls I had working for me but it annoyed me when it came to Emily. I mean, shit… she was everything to me and I know I was everything to her at one time. I don't know, I guess I'm expecting way too much from her. Angel was right that other week when I went mental on that bloke that was touching Ems. I was still in love with her. Very much so but just because I am, it doesn't mean Emily feels the same way. I wish she did as bad as that fucking sounds because right now, I'm with Lia… I just can't work this out. I know something's not right. All these years Emily thought I was dead. I get that she would have maybe mourned me and moved on but seeing that person you thought was buried six feet under five years later alive and well, surely… SURELY that would make someone show some kind of emotion? I get nothing from Emily… only little glimpses that make me think "Oh, maybe she does care." But they disappear just as quickly as they appear…<p>

I flicked the channel on the TV for the hundredth time and as usual found absolutely nothing on. Well nothing I was interested in really. Just a couple of shows about real estate like Escape To The Country and that other one Home or Away: A Place In The Sun. I wasn't in the mood. Sometimes I didn't mind watching them because I was looking at buying another house as an investment property and it gave me an idea on other places all across the UK and with that other show, Italy, Spain and France. Without going there I was able to get an idea of what the area was like, how much the average property cost etc. ya know? All that boring stuff…

"I'm going to work." Lia announced abruptly.

I sighed heavily. Things have been real rocky between us lately. It seems like all we do is argue and to be honest, I don't even know what the arguments about. It's over little things like forgetting to turn a light off, leaving a dish in the sink etc. It's over the smallest and pettiest of things. I got up off the couch and gently took Lia's wrist as she was double checking her briefcase to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

"Lia… I hate this." I said softly.

"What is that you hate Naomi?" Lia replied still shuffling through her belongings. She didn't even look up at me.

"Hun, stop for a minute… please."

She ignored my request and went to walk away.

"I'll see you to…"

I stepped in front of her before she could go anywhere.

"Naomi, I have to go to work. I'm running late."

I placed my hands on her shoulders.

"Please… just 5 minutes?"

She inhaled deeply and placed her things on the floor, crossed her arms and waited for me to talk.

"I hate when we fight like this… I don't want to anymore. I don't want us to continue on like this. It's causing us both a fucking bucket load of unnecessary stress. We don't need it…"

"You mean you don't need it." She said staring at me angrily.

"No, I mean you and me. Both of us."

"Naomi, I am not the one who is avoiding her girlfriend by working late and sleeping on the couch. You can't even bring yourself to touch me anymore. How do you think that makes me feel? I have every fucking right to be stressed out."

I went to say something but she cut me off.

"You know what? Fuck it… I'm running late enough as it is." She said irritably. "You've pulled back from this relationship. I don't even feel like I have a girlfriend anymore…"

"Lia… for fucks sake; I don't want to fight with you anymore. How the fuck can we fix this if we're always at each other's throats?"

Lia seemed to soften up a little upon hearing that although she didn't speak. She stayed silent.

"I want to fix this Lia… I do." I continued. "I was thinking like when you come home from work… ya know maybe we could like… talk without killing each other?"

Lia didn't respond but she seemed to be a little bit on the emotional side. She pursed her lips and nodded.

"Yeah?" I asked just to make sure.

"Yes." She replied.

I smiled warmly at her and leaned in and kissed her soft red lips tenderly. Relief flooded over me when she responded. Maybe finally, we can sort through shit and get back to normal. I pulled back slightly and stared intensely into her eyes.

"I'll see you when you get home okay?"

She nodded and smiled gently.

"See you when I get home."

She bent down slightly and picked up her things. She gave me another small smile but it didn't sit right with me because her eyes showed something different. They showed sadness. I didn't question her about it but it had me wondering, that's for sure.

I walked back over to the couch and plonked my arse on it forgetting that there was nothing on TV so with an annoyed sigh I got up and popped on the stereo. I was feeling a little strange, nervous or maybe it was just the anxiety. It had been a bad month for me. Boy had it fucked with my nerves. How I haven't completely lost it and been carted off to the funny farm yet is beyond me.

(Ah much better)

Music. I loved it. It always managed to calm me down and make me feel better. It's amazing how that works but it does and I would surely die if music no longer existed. It would be enough to kill me. I would just keel over and drop dead… Um yeah, let's hope music never disappears off the face of the earth, shall we?

.

**She calls me from the cold**

**Just when I was low, feeling short of stable**

**And all that she intends**

**And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label**

**She says she's ashamed**

**And can she take me for awhile**

**And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past**

**But maybe I'm not able**

**And I break at the bend…**

**.**

Well there goes my idea of relaxing to a good song. It came on automatically. I had the CD on random and when I first heard the guitar, I was looking forward to the song because it had been awhile since I had heard it but you know what it did for me? All it did was make me think of Emily. I wanted to change the song but at the same time I didn't. I wanted to hear it. It was weird. I walked backwards towards the couch and sat down, lighting a smoke as I listened closely to each and every lyric… I was in a trance taking in every word, every instrument. I got swept away and completely lost in the song.

.

**We're here and now, will we ever be again**

**'Cause I have found**

**All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade**

**Away again…**

.

I sighed heavily as all sorts of memories came flooding back of when Emily and me were younger. My chest tightened terribly.

.

**She dreams a champagne dream**

**Strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper**

**Lavender and cream**

**Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her**

**She says that love is for fools who fall behind**

**And I'm somewhere in between**

**I never really know**

**A killer from a saviour**

**'Til I break at the bend…**

.

What have I turned into? What is this crying bullshit? I mean I wasn't sobbing or bawling my eyes out or anything like that, it was only a single tear that fell and streamed down my cheek but Jesus Christ… I've gone soft. This is bad and I don't like it…

.

**It's too far away for me to hold**

**It's too far away...**

**It's too far away for me to hold **

**It's too far away…**

**Guess I'll let it go**

.

(I don't want to let it go.)

Okay, okay… I'm okay. Next song and I'll get over it no problems.

.

**It's been awhile **

**Since I could **

**Hold my head up high **

**And it's been awhile…**

.

I used to love this song back as a kid. I used to listen to it when I was feeling shit about myself because we all know the things I used to get up to. It made me feel better.

.

… **And it's been awhile **

**Since I've gone and fucked things up **

**Just like I always do **

**And it's been awhile **

**But all that shit seems to disappear **

**When I'm with you…**

.

Yeah, great. That's the last thing I needed or wanted to hear. Straight back to bloody Emily that took me. FUCKING… FUCK.

.

… **And it's been awhile **

**Since I've seen the way **

**The candles light your face **

**And it's been awhile **

**But I can still remember **

**Just the way you taste…**

**.**

"PISS OFF." I yelled aggressively at the stereo player. I don't think it heard me, do you? Yeah, I know I need a doctor. I skipped forward to the next song praying, wishing and fucking hoping it would be something upbeat. Something that would get my mind off of the one my mind always seemed to run to.

.

**How long, how long will I slide **

**Separate my side**

**I don't, I don't believe it's bad **

**Slittin' my throat **

**It's all I ever...**

**.**

Oh thank fuck for that… finally a song I can listened to.

.

**I heard your voice through a photograph **

**I thought it up, it brought up the past**

.

(NEXT!)

"Fucking prick." I said, pressing the remote really fucking hard. "Shit." I said to myself, hearing it crack.

The other song started to play but I decided to wander over to the fridge and get myself a beer so I couldn't hear it. I didn't drink much at all but I was really feeling like I needed one right now. I grabbed a glass and poured 3 parts beer, 1 part lemonade to sweeten the taste. I wasn't a beer lover but that's all we had so if I had any hopes of enjoying the alcohol a shandy was what would ensure it. I lazily walked back into the lounge room and sat back down on the couch as I took a sip from my glass…

.

**God my fingers burn, **

**Now when I think of touching your hair**

**You have changed so much that I don't know if I can call you and tell you I care**

**And I would love to bring you down, plant your feet back on the ground…**

.

(Oh that's it…)

I slammed my glass down onto the coffee table and threw the remote with full power at the stereo. Now the fucker was skipping and stuck on the song. I got up, storming over to it and kicked the fuck out of the system.

(Yeah, what now motherfucker?)

I killed it, standing over it triumphantly with pieces of metal and plastic all over the fucking room. It was a shit system anyway. Fuck it.

"Eh Naomi… what the fuck?" Emily said scaring the shit out of me. I didn't even know she was home.

"Um… I eh, I tripped." I said looking down at the remains spread across the floor and then back to her.

"Uhuh." She said with her eyebrow raised. God she was beautiful. Her eyes, her lips, her cute little button nose…

(STOP RIGHT THERE NAOMS. STOP IT.)

I looked away and went over to where I placed my drink. I picked it up and took a huge gulp because suddenly I felt under pressure and the temperature I could have sworn had gone up 100 degrees.

"Can I talk to you Naomi? I mean if you have time…"

(I have all the time in the world for you… but you don't remember that do you Ems?)

"Yeah, sure. What's up?" I said trying to act like…fuck what's the word? I can't fucking think.

There was silence. I looked at her questioningly.

"Is everything okay? You can talk to me ya know?"

She still didn't say anything. It was like whatever it was, she was fighting against it. That is how it appeared.

"Ems?" I said after another long moment of silence.

She finally looked up at me and started to speak.

"I'm… I'm sorry with the way I've behaved towards you. You've done a lot to help me over this last month and…"

She paused.

"I really do appreciate it. Thank you." She said.

"You're welcome." I replied smiling gently.

I got a feeling that what she just said wasn't what she initially wanted to say. There was something else on her mind. I was sure of it. She continued to stand there just looking at me. It was kind of freaking me out to be honest. Was she in trouble but just too scared to ask for my help? What the fuck was it? It was making me feel panicky. She opened her mouth to speak again but closed it. She looked away and then back to me.

"I'll um, I'll leave you to it." She said, walking off hurriedly.

"Ems… hold up a sec." I said as I jumped over the back of the couch almost falling flat on my face when my jeans didn't allow me to lift my leg high enough. "Is there something wrong?"

Emily stopped but kept her back towards me. I approached her slowly and turned her around gently.

"I know there's something bothering you. I can tell." I said gently.

She didn't answer.

"Ems, I want to help you. Please, let me help you." I said pleadingly. I tried to keep it to a minimum but to say that I wasn't worried about her; it would be a big fat lie.

Emily smiled.

"I'm fine Naomi… really."

There was a pause.

"I need to go out for a few hours. I'll be home later tonight."

"Where… um where are you going?" I asked knowing that it was really none of my business but at the same time trying my luck and hoping she would let me in, even if it was just a little.

"I figured you and…" She sighed and then continued. "You and Lia would want some time alone."

I frowned at her.

"It's hard to not notice or hear when you live in the same house Naomi." She added referring to the troubles Lia and me were having.

"Okay but…"

Emily seemed to know what I was going to say because she cut me off.

"I'm just going to have a wander, get myself some dinner and what not…" She said as she turned back around and walked to her room. She came back out with her bag and a jacket.

"I'll see you later."

I wanted her to stay so badly but begging her didn't seem like a good idea. I watched as she headed for the front door and as she closed it, she waved a quick goodbye. I looked at the time and it was still fairly early. Lia wouldn't be home for another 6 hours.

(6 hours…)

I grabbed my keys and decided that I would follow Emily. I know that sounds awfully stalkerish of me but I knew she was hiding something and she was being so fucking secretive since she had been here it was driving me insane with concern and worry. I saw the new bruises on her arms as the weeks went by. I hadn't forgotten when she came home with a cut lip and a bruised cheek. How could I? She had been disappearing at all hours of the day and night. She didn't think I knew but the stress I've been under lately, I haven't been sleeping at all and since I've been on the couch most nights and wide awake, I've heard Emily sneak past me and leave only to return hours later with a new cut and/or bruise. One of the nights I almost jumped off the couch when I peeked through one eye and saw that her hair was a mess, her clothes had been ripped and she was walking with a very slight limp but I dug my nails into my thighs to stop myself because I knew she wouldn't tell me anything. She was more likely to tell me to "Get fucked." so I stored it away. I felt that while I had the opportunity today, I would make my move and see for myself what she had gotten herself into…

* * *

><p><strong>Soooo there we have it. The end of the chapter. I hope it was enjoyable to read :) Don't forget to let me know by clicking the review button. Take care guys. The next chapter should be up very soon... <strong>

**Lyrics:**

**Shimmer - Fuel**

**It's Been A While - Staind**

**Otherside - Red Hot Chilli Peppers**

**So Beautiful - Pete Murray**


	10. Chapter 10

**The Lives We Lead**

**Chapter X**

**A/N: WHOA... look at that ;) another update lol.**

**Again, thank you to all the people taking time out of their busy lives to read and review my story. :D Pure awesomeness. Eh is that even a word? Ah fuck it, if it isn't... it is now :P**

**Oh and I can't forget to send off a BIG thank you to Miss Beck89... I don't fancy any broken bones hehe. **

**Enjoy guys!**

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><p>I didn't like where this was going. I didn't like what I was seeing as I sat in my car a little way down the street watching Emily. No, this isn't right. I'm taking it completely wrong. Not my Emily. No way. She would not be doing this. I know it looks bad, her sitting on a low brick fence on the corner with hardly anything on. I had seen her go into the public toilets in the park on the way here and change her clothes. She went in there wearing a lovely pair of jeans and a jacket and then came out in a singlet top and mini skirt. I gripped the steering wheel incredibly hard in an attempt to keep myself from running across the road and dragging her away because I knew her reaction wouldn't be a happy one and I can't jump to conclusions as bad as this all looks. I haven't any proof… Not real concrete proof. The tightness in my chest escalated when I saw a car pull up on the corner with Emily approaching it. She walked seductively towards it and just jumped straight in.<p>

"What the fuck are you doing Emily?" I said to myself.

The car took off and I couldn't help myself. I had to follow. I couldn't see the male driver at this stage but I marked down the number plate of the vehicle and that's me being paranoid. This is obviously NOT the first time she has done this yet I felt that something terrible could happen and if it did and Emily went missing or something happened to her, I would kill that bastard without any hesitation.

I didn't have to follow for long. It was about a two minute car ride around the block basically. There was a small dingy looking motel that you just know by looking at it, they charged rooms by the hour. This is where the car pulled into. I couldn't follow the car into the car park for obvious reasons so I went up a little way and pulled the car over to the side. I quickly jumped out and jogged up to the motel's garden and hid in the bushes. The dread I was feeling before, well you can times that by 100 now. I was a fucking mess as I watched my gorgeous Emily get out of the car and join that perverted motherfucker that had picked her up. She took his hand and lured him up a flight of stairs and then into a room. Number 9. I will always remember that fucking number for as long as I live. Room number fucking 9…

I found myself standing there even after the two had disappeared, shaking my head. Ordinarily I would be ashamed to admit that I was crying but I was and this time it wasn't just silent tears. I was fucked. I was standing in public bawling my fucking eyes out and clutching at my chest as it constricted far beyond my wildest fucking nightmares. I thought I was having a heart attack at first but then remembered how a full blown panic attack actually felt. It had been awhile since I had one of those. I hunched over unable to keep it in and spewed my guts out all over the fucking garden bed just by thinking of what that guy was asking Emily to do to him or the things he was doing to her. My mind went back in time when I had first bumped into a sweet and innocent Emily, her dropping her school books on the ground that very first day we met. I remember her being awfully shy and I remember being instantly attracted to her. Then it jumped forward to our walk home from the cinema. I still remember the movie we watched. It was The Devil Inside. When we had gotten home, Emily had been acting strangely to begin with but it was because she was nervous. She wanted me to take her. She was ready. It was her first time… and it was mine too in a way. It was the first time WE had slept together. That memory I have cherished since the night it happened. THAT is how fucking special Emily was and is to me even still. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Every touch, every moan, every whisper…

"You okay miss?" I heard a man say from behind me. He had a gentle voice. I wanted to respond and say that I'd be okay but I couldn't. I dropped to my knees and threw up again, tears streaming uncontrollably down my face as I trembled. The panic still very much alive and showing no signs of subsiding. All I could think about was the Emily I used to know to the one now, in that room with a stranger doing God knows fucking what. I couldn't help but compare. It would go from the way I made love to her, passionately and lovingly to the way the bloke she was with would be fucking her like she was a nobody. Just an object he used to get himself off… a piece of meat. It made me violently ill.

I felt the man put his hand on my shoulder and usually I would have flicked him away but right now and with the way I was feeling, it brought some kind of comfort. I didn't feel so scared. He kneeled down beside me and whispered in a low voice that everything would be okay and that I needed to concentrate on my breathing. He even showed me, breathing in slow and deep through his nose, holding it there for a moment and exhaling just as slow through his mouth.

"Come on hun, follow me." He said. "Breath in… and then breathe out."

I nodded quickly and started to do as he said and fuck me, it was working. After a few goes at the breathing technique he was showing me, I felt my chest muscles relax which no longer caused me a considerable amount of pain, my heart although still beating quicker than it should have been, slowed down a great deal too. I was able to actually calm down enough to take notice of the kind gentleman who had stopped and offered assistance. It was rare around this side of town. Actually on second thought, help from a stranger was rare no matter what part of town you were in these days.

"Thank… Thank you." I said, trying my best to give him a smile.

When I had first saw him, I thought he was an old man to be honest because of the way he was dressed and the scruffy beard he had on his face but on closer inspection the eyes staring back at me were that of a young person. I estimated him to be just a little bit older than me. Late 20's, maybe even early 30's. He helped me up onto my feet and smiled warmly, brushing a few fallen leaves off of my shoulder after having been pretty much tangled in a fucking bush. I thanked the man again with him nodding and crossing back over the road from where he came before I could say anything else... He was homeless. He sat down in a corner of an old abandoned shop amongst a make shift bed made out of old material and cardboard boxes. It broke my heart… As much as I wanted to kick down the door of room 9 and drag Emily out of there, I knew I wouldn't be able to. I'd see something I know I wouldn't want to see and just crumble again.

(I'll deal with her later, when I'm calmer.)

I jogged across the road to where the Good Samaritan had wandered over to and sat beside him. I couldn't help think that when I had first come to London, this was what my future was going to be had it not been for Angel. I was pretty much a street kid before she came here to join me. If not for her, I have no doubt I would be this man's neighbour. I was so fucking heartbroken and shattered over Emily I just didn't care about anything anymore. I was wandering around aimlessly living day by day. She gave me a firm talking to when she first arrived in London and witnessed the state I was in. I was taking drugs consistently and if I couldn't find any, I was drinking myself to sleep and when things got really bad and I couldn't even get alcohol… I was chroming. I would steal a can of spray paint, preferably black, gold or silver and then find a discarded plastic shopping bag, spray the paint inside of it and breathe it in and feel everything wash away. I was a loser. You don't have to tell me but losing Emily the way I had was something that I couldn't forgive myself for. Leaving her and then not even knowing if she was okay just fucked me right over. I just didn't give a fuck… I was on the path to self-destruction and wanted to travel all the way to the very end of that path.

"Hey, my name's Naomi." I said extending my hand towards the homeless man. He turned looking a little shocked but smiled and shook my hand.

"I'm David." He replied.

"I really appreciate what you did back there..."

"It wasn't a problem love… you looked like you were in need of some help." David responded.

I stayed silent for a moment, not really knowing how he'd react to what I said next. It was my way of sussing him out… sometimes people were funny like that but he sounded like a down to earth guy and I didn't think he'd take offence. He didn't seem the type.

"Tell me if I'm wrong David but you look like you could use a little help yourself." I said.

He looked at me seriously and I thought "oh oh, I've fucked up here." But then he grinned and chuckled.

"That obvious huh?" He replied.

"Oh ya know… not really. I just have a good eye for these kinda things." I smiled.

He started to laugh.

"So… David… tell me, where'd you learn all that breathing stuff?" I asked curiously.

"Oh that? Back at school. I was studying psychology. You'd never guess it now but I wanted to be a psychiatrist." He paused and seemed to drift off into the memory. "That was many years ago." He said nodding his head slowly. I felt sad for the bloke, knowing how easily a person can end up like this. I had been there. I was just lucky enough to have Angel to give me good kick up the arse and help me along. Not everyone is as fortunate.

"If you don't mind me askin', what happened? Like how did you end up here?"

He sighed.

"You know you're the first person to even ask me that? In fact babe, you're the first person to even sit down next to me and strike up a conversation."

I didn't know what to say so I just smiled understandingly. He sighed again.

"My old lady, she got remarried to this bloke who used to beat the living shit out of her. My old man, my real one… he had fucked off when I was like 6 so I couldn't run to him. I didn't even know where the prick was… Anyway, he started beatin' on me when I got older and one time the bastard nearly killed me. I ended up in hospital for a month… To cut a long story short, I ran away when I was 16 and here I am."

"That's fucking shit David… you know that right?"

"Yeah, well… what can I do? I tried to work and get myself a place but I wasn't earnin' enough so this is my home now."

He paused and frowned at me.

"What were you doin' over there anyway? You don't quite fit in if you get my drift…"

"My ex, apparently she's a hooker now." I said, my voice cracking slightly.

"Oh… I see… so you're a…"

"A lezza? Muff muncher? Clitty licker? Lesbian? Yeah… problem?"

He started to laugh again but this time a little more hysterically.

"Nah babes." He said grinning and shaking his head. He leaned in and whispered. "I swing both ways… it's cool wif me yeah. Can't help who ya love."

He looked over across the road.

"Which one is it? I might know her…"

I glared at him. I didn't mean to but when he said "I might know her." I was thinking it was on a personal level.

"No, not like that… I've never paid for it in my life. I'd rather go without. I don't like seein' these young girls makin' ends meet like this. It's fuckin' terrible… I meant I might o' seen her 'round."

I looked over the road and saw Emily talking to the man she had entered the room with. She said goodbye to him, leaning in the window and from what I could tell, kissed him on the cheek. I wasn't exactly close enough to see properly but that's what it looked like from here.

"The redhead in the mini." I said completely fucking shattered.

"Ah yeah… she's new. I haven't seen her around before. It's a damn shame too. She's a looker that one."

"New?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's only been workin' the streets for a month or two… I only ever see her with that bloke though. He must pay her a shit load of money for that hour to not need to screw anyone else…"

I glared at him again. I didn't like how he said it.

"Oh shit… I'm sorry Naomi. I didn't mean anything by it."

I sighed looking down briefly before lifting my head up to face him.

"It's okay David. It's just a touchy subject."

"She's someone special to you… I get it hun. I just don't think sometimes when I speak… truly, my apologies."

We both looked across the road and saw Emily already heading back in the direction from which she came.

"Well you better be off ey?" David said.

I extended my hand and shook his again.

"It was nice meeting you David and again, thanks… for before."

"You're very welcome blondie." He said with a cheeky wink.

I took a few steps towards the direction of my car but something came over me which caused me to stop. I turned back to David and took my wallet out.

"Listen… if there comes a time when you're lookin' for work…" I passed him a card for the Velvet Curtain with a 50 folded underneath it. "I could do with a security guard." I said to him. He took what I was offering and looked completely fucking stunned. He seemed stuck and didn't know what to say. He just kept looking at me, his mouth opening and closing. I smiled.

"I um, I need to go… but think about it yeah? I could do with a bloke like you." I said turning away and jogging to my car. I jumped in and did a U-turn with David grinning and saluting me as I drove passed. I tooted the horn twice in acknowledgement and made my way back home purposely avoiding Emily in fear of being spotted. I didn't know if I was going to bring it up to her when she got home. I thought it best if I didn't just yet… but what I had decided was that I was going to watch her even more closely. I couldn't have her selling herself and I wasn't even sure as to why she was doing that. She was working now. She was earning a good wage; she had a place to live. I felt there was more to it so hiding in the shadows seemed a better option at this stage. I just knew there was more to it. I had that feeling, ya know? Whoever this guy was, she had obviously put herself in a situation she couldn't get out of. These things usually have to do with money and/or drugs. Drugs were off the cards though because in the whole time she had been living with me, there was absolutely no sign of drug use… so it had to be money. Money that her wage wasn't enough to cover…

* * *

><p>I had gotten home after finding out Emily was working the streets. I have never felt so fucking low and depressed in my entire life. If you could only understand the pain it made me feel knowing that because I was too scared to go to jail, this is how Emily's life had turned out because I ran. I wasn't there for her. I know I wouldn't have been there for her had I been locked up but at least she knew where I was. At least she would have been able to see me on visiting days and when I got out, I could have had her in my arms again and none of this would have happened. I would trade my business, my car, my house and every fucking cent I had in the bank to take back these last six years. I would have done it all differently. I would have turned myself in, I would have admitted what I had done and hoped for a lighter sentence due to my cooperation. I would gladly sit in a cell, waiting for however long to be released if it meant that it would have changed the outcome of Emily's life. I would sacrifice anything and everything for her without a second thought but unfortunately, life… it doesn't work like that.<p>

"Hi." Lia said timidly as she walked through the front door.

"Hey." I said, watching her walk to the kitchen table and placing her things on top of it. I stood up and followed her.

"How was work?"

"Oh it was flat out today." She sighed. "I'm glad to be home."

I smiled.

"You fancy a drink?" I asked, walking over to the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of wine.

"That would be absolutely lovely." She replied. "I bloody well need it after the day I've had."

"That bad huh?"

"I just don't understand these nurses. If they pulled their finger out of their arses and did what they were supposed to, my life would be so much easier. I don't understand it. I really don't. If they're not passionate about their job, if they're not passionate about caring for people then what the fuck are they doing in this profession?"

"The money… why else?" I replied, shrugging.

Lia sighed heavily and looked disappointed.

"Yes, you're right unfortunately. That's all it's about these days. Job security and the money. Fuck the patients." She said angrily.

I poured some wine into a glass and passed it over to Lia.

"It's okay hun… don't let it get to you so much. As long as you do the right thing and work to the best of your ability… at least you can come home and know you've done all you could. You can sleep at night."

"I know but it's hard Naoms… Today I walked into a nursing home that had an elderly lady that was dying. She only has a week tops to live so they've stopped treating her. I understand that. Giving somebody who is dying antibiotics would be pointless but to not give her pain medication for her arthritis? To not feed her and let her starve to death? That should be fucking illegal."

Lia was getting riled up.

"Hun…"

"NO Naomi… It's fucking disgusting. Even a convict on death row gets his last meal. That poor woman hadn't eaten for days. All I could find was a custard cup for her and do you know what happened when I was caught feeding her? A nurse came in and snatched the cup from my hands and told me not to because she was dying. Can you fucking believe that?"

"I um…"

Whoa that was harsh. I couldn't even speak. That's not right… can they really do that? I was lost for words.

"I fired that little cunt. How dare she? How could anyone treat someone like that? Does she not have a mother? A grandmother? This is what I have to put up with Naomi. I don't think I can do it. I'm going to call the health department tomorrow and tell them where they can stick their promotion. I'm going to the media with this…. This needs to stop."

"HUN… relax okay… relax. Just breathe for a minute yeah?" I said stepping toward her. She started to cry and so I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in closer.

"I can't do it Naoms… I'm not strong enough." She sobbed into my shoulder.

I soothingly rubbed her back as she let out all her frustration. When I spoke, it was in a low reassuring voice.

"Yes you are… you would never have gotten the job if they thought you weren't hun. If you leave, you can't change anything… you want to help these people don't you?"

She nodded quickly.

"I do."

"Then you need to stay. You won't be in a position to help them if you leave. You know that." I said.

She nodded again and said "I know." She sighed again and pulled back, wiping her tears away and looking completely heartbroken.

"If you only saw her Naoms… lying there in pain, begging me for something to eat…" She said. Her voicing cracking terribly with emotion. She started to cry again so I pulled her into me.

"Shhh, it's okay… it's okay." I reassured her. A few minutes had passed before Lia had gotten her emotions under control. I smiled warmly at her and took her hand gently.

"I know what you need."

She looked back at me with a look of slight confusion.

"A nice hot bubble bath, candles, a glass of wine… the whole works."

Her eyes twinkled at the thought of it which made me grin.

"Come on then, follow me." I said as I took her hand tenderly and led her up the stairs.

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><p>We had talked, Lia and me about our relationship after she had her bath and was feeling much calmer. I wasn't going to bring it up after the terrible day she had at work because seeing that poor elderly woman dying in pain and starvation due to the inconsiderate staff at that particular nursing home had affected Lia deeply. Once she had finished the bath though, she brought it up. I couldn't avoid it because it was me who had mentioned that we talk in the first place. I was just so fucking torn between Lia and Emily. What do I do? I loved Lia, I really did. She was a good girl. She was someone I could see myself with until the day I died but there was a problem. Emily was back in my life. As much as I loved and cared for Lia, it could never match the love I felt for Emily and that isn't Lia's fault. She was everything you could ever want in a Mrs plus more but… Emily is and always has been my one. I could never love Lia like that. I've tried, I really have but I just can't. All my heart had gone to Emily all those years ago but that's the thing, innit? Emily has my heart but I don't have hers so what is one to do? Do I just break it off with Lia; a woman I know loves me with all her heart to go with Emily, a woman who doesn't even give a shit about me regardless of the feelings I hold and have reserved for her? Who do I invest in? This is what I asked myself the night we spoke. I decided although it felt completely fucking wrong that I would try and make things better with Lia. I would try and be a better girlfriend. She didn't know that the reason I had pulled back from her was because my focus had shifted to Emily. She thought it was just stress or maybe I had fallen out of love with her. She didn't think it had anything to do with Emily. Well she knew my stress was related to Emily and work etc. but she didn't know that my feelings for her were much more personal then wanting to be a friend. She had no idea I was still head over heels for my one true love.<p>

"Eh, Naoms… there's this dude lookin' for ya."

I frowned up at Angel.

"Who?"

"I dunno, I never seen him before."

"You didn't bother to ask his name?"

Angel looked around the room for a quick moment.

"Um… noooo I forgot." She said.

I shook my head and sighed.

"Okay, tell him to take a seat. I'll be out in a minute."

I finished up what I was doing and headed towards the main floor of the club. Angel pointed discreetly over towards him and when I looked, I had no fucking idea who he was.

I walked over to him and took a seat across the table.

"Can I help you?" I asked suspiciously.

The man grinned at me.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten already?"

"Forgotten what?"

"Weren't you looking for a security guard?"

(WHOA… no fucking way.)

"David?"

"Uhuh, yours truly in the flesh. I scrub up well don't I?" He chuckled.

He looked amazing. He had shaved his beard, leaving a neatly manicured goatee. He had his hair cut and closely shaven and he was in a clean new suit. I was shocked. I would never have recognised him. He was an extremely good looking man and had I been a straightie, I would have been all up in that... eh on that… he's a bloke. Can't go in… UMMMM okay, I'll shut up now.

I stared at him in complete and utter shock.

"How… whoa… you look… whoa."

He laughed his cheery contagious little laugh again.

"I um, I wasn't sure what that 50 you gave me was for but I thought I'd use it to scrub myself up a bit. I didn't want to come here lookin' the way I did. I hope you don't mind."

I was still utterly stunned. I could not speak. I hated when this happened.

"So… you're still hiring ain't you?"

I nodded quickly.

"Yes, yes of course. The job, it's yours." I said. "I'm sorry… you just look completely different David. You look fantastic."

He winked that cheeky wink at me.

"Come on… let me introduce you to everyone."

Everyone said hello and introduced themselves to David. Jessie seemed to take a shine to him. I just shook my head at her. It was so obvious she was flirting with him. I think he enjoyed it. I don't mean in the pervy way but like the guy probably hasn't had any attention from the opposite sex in a very long time due to his circumstances and it was like watching a little kid getting praised on how well he did his homework. Does that make sense? Even if it doesn't, it brought a warm smile to my face. After that was all done, well I was aware that David didn't have a place to stay and I couldn't have him leaving work to sleep on his little makeshift bed could I? I didn't have the heart to do that and I had plenty of space here for him. I had a few rooms in the back with a bed and some drawers and so I offered one to him.

"Oh no… I can't accept that Naomi… it's too much."

"David, listen mate… some of the girls that I get walkin' through those doors have come from nothing. They haven't had a place to live. They stay here while they work free of charge until they can get back on their feet yeah… as a member of my staff, you have the same rights okay? Pick a room and it's yours until you get some money behind ya to get your own place."

He just stared at me for a long moment, his eyes welling up with tears. He wiped his eyes before they fell, not wanting to show his emotional side. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up off of the ground.

"You are worth your weight in gold blondie… thank you."

He placed me down gently and kissed me softly on the cheek. He stepped back and cleared his throat and looked down at himself worriedly.

"These clothes… they're okay for work until I get my first check?"

I smiled at him.

"You'll get a uniform for work… so don't stress okay?"

He nodded looking relieved.

"Have you eaten?" I asked him.

As he went to answer, he's stomach growled terribly. I chuckled.

"I take that as a no… Go over to the bar and tell Jessie that Naomi said to fix you something… anything you want from the menu okay?"

"You really are an Angel aren't you?" he said.

"No." I laughed. "That would be her." I said pointing over to Ang. "Go on, off you go. Make yourself at home." I said.

He nodded and smiled in appreciation. I turned when he walked passed me and saw Emily serving drinks to some rowdy customers.

(SHIT)

I quickly jogged up to David and pulled him back by the wrist.

"Hey David… one more thing… you have to promise me to not mention how we met." I said tilting my head towards Emily. He looked confused at first but then realised when his eyes saw the same red haired girl from the motel. He turned back to me and winked.

"Secret's safe with me babes."

"Thanks mate." I said lightly patting his back.

He stayed looking at me and I was confused.

"ARGH come here you." He said hugging me again. This time he swung me around like a rag doll.

"I'll be the best fucking worker you have in this joint. I promise you. I'll never forget this Naomi. Never. You're the twinkle in my eye." He said grinning.

He put me down with me feeling really dizzy. It took a few seconds to stop seeing double.

"Don't fall in love David… I can't promise I'll call in the morning." I said smirking.

"HA! I'll just have to pick up a phone then won't I?" He chuckled.

'"HAHAHA go on mate… go have a feed. You've lost about 15 pounds since you've been here. You're fadin' away…"

"Cheeky." He replied.

He blew me an over exaggerated kiss and walked over towards Jessie. He was quite a character. I was happy I could help the bloke out. He obviously never got a decent opportunity before to make a go of things. I think he was going to bring a shine to this place. He already seemed to be getting along with everyone extremely well. He had this excitement about him which rubbed off on you. You couldn't help but be happy and laugh along with him. Yeah, I was more than content with this decision… I saw Angel walk hurriedly towards me.

"Who the hell is that?"

"David… our new security guard."

"Huh? We didn't need one." She said before scoffing. "Don't tell me you fired Vinnie…"

"No of course not… I just thought we could use some extra muscle."

"Naomi, we have like 7 working for us."

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah well now we have 8… so what?"

"Yeah okay." She said with a little attitude. "I guess you know what you're doing."

"We can't be too careful." I replied.

Angel frowned and leaned in.

"Are you fuckin' him?" She whispered.

I started laughing hysterically but Angel didn't seem to think it was funny. I sure fucking did though.

"What? It was a legitimate question. I saw how you two were behaving." She said in her defence.

"You think everyone's fucking everyone."

"They are aren't they?" She said with her eyebrow raised.

"Ang, he's just a friendly bloke looking for a job. I swear.

"Yeah well, Lia is who I'm thinkin' of."

I rolled my eyes.

"That's sweet of you Ang but seriously, I like tits… that hasn't changed."

"Yeah well…" she paused to poke me in the shoulder. "You just make sure you keep it in your pants. Got it?"

"Got it." I nodded while I was having a good little chuckle.

What the hell was that about? Did she think I woke up this morning and decided that I fancied a little cock with my morning coffee? Jesus Christ. She confuses me sometimes that girl. Where she gets these weird and wonderful idea's from, I will never know but she never fails to make me laugh that's for damn sure.

* * *

><p>.<p>

… **I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin' problem**

**And yeah I like to fuck, I got a fuckin' problem**

**If findin' somebody real is your fuckin' problem**

**Bring ya girls to the crib maybe we can solve it…**

**.**

It had a good beat. I could see why Peaches and the rest of the girls wanted to pole dance to this song. Was I a fan of the song? I won't lie… I kinda was. I mean I didn't like the rappers IN the song. It was impossible for me when I grew up on 2Pac and Biggie, DMX too. Those dudes were rappers and you couldn't even compare them to these new blokes nowadays but the song… Yeah, I liked it. Even though I had grown up a lot since my wild years, there were still bits of the old Naomi that remained. I decided to give it a tick and let them all do their little dance routine to it. The girls always asked me to listen to their new songs for an opinion. I don't know why they thought it but they seemed to think I had decent taste in music… I just like music. I don't get it at all but if it makes them feel better, I'll listen to the track, let them show me their dance to it before they perform on stage. I think they needed an opinion to know what they were doing was good so they could get up there and do it with full confidence in front of a group of people which I thought was fair enough.

.

**Hold up bitches simmer down**

**Takin' hella long bitch give it to me now**

**Make that thing pop like a semi or a nine**

**Oh baby like it raw with the shimmy shimmy ya**

**Huh, A$AP, get like me**

**Never met a motherfucker fresh like me**

**All these motherfuckers wanna dress like me**

**Put the chrome to your dome make you sweat like Keith…**

**.**

Emily came out of her room and stood in front of me with her arms crossed. I was a little tipsy having drunk about four ouzos with coke dragging on a cigarette clumsily as I sat back on the couch giving the new stereo a good working out. It was on full blast and the bass was phenomenal. I could feel it pumping in my chest. She said something but I couldn't hear her over the music so I just stared at her with a goofy grin on my face.

"HUH?" I yelled over the music.

She rolled her eyes and leaned forward and took the remote from my hands, turning the stereo off.

"Oi, I was listening to that."

"That song is disgusting Naomi."

I chuckled.

(Trust her not to like it. I guess that part of her hasn't changed.)

I leaned forward and took the remote back off of her, turning the stereo back on. I still had another 5 songs to listen to and that was just on this disc, the "hip hop" one. The girls liked to have all their songs organised. They never dared give me rock, classic and hip hop all on the one CD. They thought it was unholy to do so. Those girls make laugh… I changed the song to the next one. I knew she wouldn't like this one either. I suddenly felt like teasing her.

.

**I've been a lot of places, seen a lot of faces**

**Ah hell I even fucked with different races**

**A white dude his name was John**

**He had a queen bee rules tattoo on his arm, uh**

**He asked me if I'd be his date for the prom**

**And he'd buy me a horse, a Porsche and a farm…**

**.**

"This one's okay." She stated, sitting on the edge of the coffee table. I felt like it was a challenge now to disgust her again.

.

**How many licks does it take till you get to the centre of the…**

**Cause I've got to know**

**How many licks does it take till you get to the centre of the… **

**Tell me**

**How many licks does it take till you to get the centre of the…**

**Oh, oh**

**How many licks does it take till you get to the centre of the…**

**Oh, oh, oh…**

.

I quickly looked at the CD cover and BINGO… I knew which one would do it FOR SURE. I pressed next twice and smirked so hugely, my fucking jaw hurt. This was sure to disgust the fuck out of her.

(MUAHAHAHAHA)

.

**All you ladies pop your pussy like this**

**Shake your body, don't stop, don't miss**

**All you ladies pop your pussy like this**

**Shake your body, don't stop, don't miss**

**Just do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now**

**Lick it good, suck this pussy just like you should**

**Right now, lick it good, suck this pussy just like you should**

**My neck, my back…**

.

Emily had her face scrunched up.

"ARGH, turn it off… it's making me sick Naomi. How can you listen to this shit?"

I laughed hysterically. Yeah, that was my Emily talking right there. She was still in there somewhere. I turned it down and skipped the song.

"It's for work." I told her seriously. "The girls want to dance to 'em."

.

**Okay, lil' mama had a swag like mine**

**She even wear her hair down her back like mine**

**I make her feel right when it's wrong like lyin'**

**Man, she ain't never had a love like mine**

**But man I ain't never seen an arse like hers**

**That pussy in my mouth had me lost for words**

**I told her to back it up like burp burp**

**And make that arse jump like shczerp shczerp**

**And that's when she**

**She licked me like a lollipop**

**She l-l-lick me like a lollipop…**

**.**

"Better?" I asked.

"Well it's not as vulgar as the last one but no, it's not better." She replied.

"Ems… I'm not running a kindergarten am I? It's a bloody strip club."

She didn't say anything. I turned the stereo way down and decided I'd go through the songs properly when I had the house to myself seen it bothered her so much. She was like that when we we're younger. If I was listening to a song she thought was "absolutely disgusting" she would tell me so. The memory made me chuckle when I pictured her scrunched up face, the exact same one she was displaying now.

"What?" She asked.

"Oh nothing." I slurred slightly. "I was remembering something, that's all."

"What's wrong with one of 2Pac's songs? He was classy when he sang about women. He wasn't vulgar. He had respect."

"It's not my choice… the girls want to dance to these songs."

(Hmm, that's strange coming from a hooker. "Respect")

I mentally slapped myself for thinking that. That was terrible. Thank fuck I didn't say that out loud. How could I think that no matter how true it might be? It must be the alcohol because no way would I ever think something like that, especially about Emily. Oh that was fucking horrible and put a bad taste in my mouth.

"Anyway, you gettin' along alright at work?" I asked. I liked to try and keep updated with the girls to make sure they were happy in their place of employment.

"Yes, everything's fine." She nodded.

"Good." I said picking up my glass of ouzo and taking a sip. "Oh, you want a drink?" I offered.

"What is it?" She asked curiously.

"Ouzo and coke."

And what happened next took me back to better times between Emily and me. She reached over and took my drink and claimed at as her own. I nearly sat forward and wrapped my arms around her, screaming in excitement "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" because this, since she had been here was the most we had spoken in one sitting. This was and has been the only time she has shown so much of the old Emily. I felt a warm and fuzzy feeling sweep over me and settle in my chest, making me feel really fucking good. It was like a high. The same high Emily used to intoxicate me with all those years ago. Fuck how I missed that feeling. I hadn't realised just how much until just now. Turns out it was an awful lot. It made me feel alive inside. I've never been able to find that feeling, not even with Lia.

I was so badly wanting to ask her about her life. What had happened to her after I left? Does she still speak to Katie? What was she up to these days? Etc. Previously I restrained myself but right now, I couldn't.

"What happened after I left?" I blurted out. I instantly regretted it when she looked at me with that hard stare she had acquired over the years, my Emily hiding behind it. She passed me my drink and stood up.

"I don't want to talk about it Naomi. When will you get it through that thick skull of yours?" she said storming off towards the kitchen.

I stood up and followed her.

"Why not Emily? You don't think I deserve to know?"

She scoffed as she opened the fridge and took out a small bottle of water.

"I'm serious Emily… Why not?"

She slammed the door of the refrigerator shut.

"Because what happened after you left me is none of your fuck-ing business. That's why. Now stop asking me." She said with venom lacing her voice, hurriedly retreating into her bedroom.

(Fuck that. I ain't letting this go.)

I walked towards her room, feeling my anger rise knowing full well she more than likely wouldn't tell me. The effects of the alcohol wearing off in a hurry. I pushed open her door and stood inside, slamming it shut. Emily jumped in fright not expecting me to follow her as she sat with her back to the door on her bed.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me something Emily."

"I don't care." She shrugged "You can stand there all day." She added talking a drink from her water.

I walked around to stand in front of her, folding my arms in the process.

"Do you know… Do you have any comprehension of what I've been through these last six years without you in my fucking life? Not knowing if you were okay. Not knowing where the FUCK you were." I spat angrily.

She raised her eyebrow at me.

"Your life? I thought you were fucking dead Naomi. How can you even compare my life with yours?"

"BECAUSE…" I paused to get myself under control. "Because for all I knew, you could have been dead too." I said sadly. It was true. It had crossed my mind many times when I couldn't find any trace of her.

Emily stayed silent. She just stared up at me angrily for a moment before she stood up and pushed me back.

"I fucking hated you for what you did to me and you even took that away from when I thought you had been fucking murdered. I nearly killed myself over you, you fucking prick." She yelled pushing me into the wall.

"What?" I said, my knees going weak. I felt sick. Did I hear right?

"You fucking heard me Naomi."

"How… wh.. Fuck… Ems."

She showed no signs of calming down.

"I HAD TO GO TO THE CORONERS TO IDENTIFY YOUR FUCKING BRACELET. I HAD TO TELL THEM IT WAS YOURS…"

She started to cry.

"I waited for you to come back for a year and a fucking half Naomi but you never did. You couldn't. You were fucking dead. I felt so bad for hating you; I downed a whole bottle of valium. I wanted to be with you. I didn't want to live without you."

I didn't know what to say. All that came out was "What happened?"

"Angel is what happened Naomi. She found me in your bedroom and stuck a toothbrush down my throat to get the pills up and BIG FUCKING SURPRISE… she fucking disappeared too. I fucking hate you Naomi. I HATE YOU." She screamed. "All this time you've been alive and well and you didn't even attempt to look for me. You gave up. It shows how much you fucking cared."

Angel found her? WHAT THE FUCK is that about? She never told me.

"Emily… Angel found you?"

"YES NAOMI."

"Did she say anything to you? Do you remember? She never told me about any of this. If I had of known you were in Bristol I would have come back." I grabbed her arms and squeezed tightly. "I would have."

"Don't touch me." She said, shoving me away roughly. Emily seemed to be deep in thought.

"I can't remember okay? I was fucked. I thought I was hallucinating."

"WHAT… what did she say to you?"

"She's not as far away as you think."

"She said that?"

"Yes." Emily said a lot calmer.

(I'm gonna kill her. That fucking bitch knew Emily was in Bristol and she never told me.)

"Emily, I didn't know… I swear to you. I didn't." I said stepping closer towards her. She pushed me away with an inferno in her eyes.

"Get out." She said. I didn't move. "GET-OUT." She screamed. I still didn't move. She grabbed my arm and attempted to drag me out of the room. I pulled her back just before she reached the door, spun her around and pinned her against it. She gasped and stared at me wide eyed in shock. I leaned in to kiss her but she pushed my back again, violently. I grabbed her arms and held them against the door so she couldn't do it again but that didn't stop her from struggling to get free. I pressed my lips onto hers firmly. She wouldn't respond. I picked her up and lifted her, her legs wrapping around me as I pushed myself into her middle. She groaned and crashed her lips onto mine unable to resist it any longer. She put up a decent fight but when I saw the look in her eyes change and her pupils dilate, I wasn't going to stop. I walked us over to the bed, our lips never separating until I dropped her onto the mattress. I undid her jeans and pulled them off roughly, her underwear coming off soon after. She sat up and undid my belt and then ripped open my shirt as if she didn't know where to start. Tiny little buttons flying all over the room. I kicked my jeans off as I pushed Emily back and crawled on top of her, settling between her legs. I kissed her passionately, groaning into it when I felt her tongue dart out and run across my bottom lip. I looked down and pushed her legs further apart and when I came back to look at her…

"I hate you." She whispered.

I didn't respond… Instead I trailed my hand slowly up and along her thigh, over her hips, across her stomach and finally resting at her breast, squeezing it gently. My thumb brushing over her nipple. I leaned down to kiss her as I started to grind my hips into her starting off at an agonisingly slow pace but she pushed me up so I couldn't. I tried again with her letting me get that little bit closer but she pushed me up at the last minute. I was getting frustrated because those lips were looking awfully delicious and all I wanted to do right then and there was feel them against my own. When I leaned down again, I was ready for her. When she went to push me up for the third time, I grabbed her hands and raised them above her head, holding onto them by her wrists with my left hand. I smirked triumphantly as I leaned down and took those lips I had been dreaming of kissing for the last 6 years, no longer having to hold her by her wrists any longer. I felt Emily respond whole heartedly, her hands wandering all along my sides and back. Her fingernails were lightly scratching my skin and effectively sending shivers down my spine.

I wanted her so badly. I wanted to take her to places she hadn't been before. I wanted to show her just how much I had fucking missed her, how much I loved her. As I rocked my hips against her, I could feel just how ready she had become and the thought of me slipping inside caused a low growl to get caught in the back of my throat. The thought had made me dizzy and wanting to do it desperately… I lowered my right hand, staring intensely into her eyes wanting to see her reaction when I entered her. What I saw staring back at me when I did almost caused my heart to cease. It was overwhelming. Staring back at me was MY Emily. The one I had fallen in love with. The girl who was soft, tender and loving and would make my heart skip a beat whenever I laid eyes on her. All those old emotions came flooding back making me feel human again. As much as I cared for Lia, I was unable to feel these things with her. A simple kiss wasn't electrifying, a touch wasn't spine tingling and an orgasm never quite felt as satisfying as it did when it was shared with Emily.

Emily snaked her hand between us and rested it on my middle as I thrust in and out of her slowly. I pushed my hips down but she seemed to want to tease me and get me frustrated and beyond. She made sure she didn't come into full contact with me, only light brushes here and there which caused my excitement and eagerness to skyrocket. I picked up the pace, kissing her hungrily and loving the feeling of Emily being under me. I felt a wave of guilt flood over me as I thought about Lia. This was wrong what I was doing. Very fucking wrong but I couldn't stop myself. How could I? This was Emily. My mind quickly forgot about my wrong doing when Emily started to stroke me, matching the pace I was loving her with.

"Tell me you love me." I dared.

She looked up at me and stroked my faced, leaning herself up and kissing me sensually. She didn't want to admit it but I could see in her eyes that she did. I was going to make her say it out loud though before I was through with her… I gently flipped us over knowing, remembering that she liked to be on top. I liked her there too. I loved watching her as she rocked her hips against my hand. I loved how she wrapped her arms around me and pushed herself closer, moaning into my ear with her body sliding up against mine with every rock. I licked my lips when my eyes sat on her chest. Without hesitation, I leaned forward and took a hardened nipple into my mouth, sucking gently and swirling my tongue around it with the occasional flick. She groaned and pushed her chest closer to me wanting me to be firmer with my actions and I could never deny Emily. I gave her what she wanted and got a moan in appreciation. Her hips bucked in excitement, jolting forward and a gasp escaping her lips. She pushed me back roughly so that I was on my back and leaned over me, her thighs spreading further apart bringing herself down closer to me as she picked up the pace, grinding down harder against me. She was panting wildly and desperate to go over the edge but I wasn't ready just yet. I didn't want this to stop so before she could, I took back control and put her on her back again and slowed down the pace. She growled angrily at me when she realised I wasn't going to give her release just yet. She bit her bottom lip and pulled me down closer, her lips attaching themselves tightly against my neck. I groaned when I felt her nip the skin there and follow with a lick and suckle to ease the pain.

"Fuck." I groaned. I felt dizzy… My entire body was tingling. I think I was going to…

(But she's not even touching me.)

I felt myself throb intensely when Emily wrapped her left leg around my waist, holding me as close as possible to her, wanting to feel everything. My movements became quicker; my thrusts harder while I stared into those gorgeous brown eyes of hers. I studied her, the girl I had loved since I was 16 and she was still just as fucking beautiful as the day I had met her if not more. I leaned down unable to resist and took her lips with mine once more. I felt her clench around me, her nails digging into the flesh of my back getting ready for what was about to happen. I buried my face into the crook of her neck and whispered that I loved her. Her breath hitched, her hips rocked eagerly against my hand as the fire built up inside her. I could feel my own fire building up along with hers and the thought of this happening without her touching me completely blew me away… I pushed up applying more pressure, my fingers curled and the pace fast. She clutched onto me as if she was about to fall, moaning with every wave of pleasure that overtook all her senses. I wasn't far behind her. Upon hearing those sweet noises Emily always made, it was enough to tip me over the edge as well. It took us both quite some time to recover from it… I felt high. It's the only way I can describe it. It had been a good few minutes before we both had caught our breaths but my body was still tingling and still very much alive and on fire. I wanted her again and by the look in her eye and the way she had pressed her lower half against me, I knew I wasn't alone in it.

"I still don't like you." She whispered after giving me the most sensual kiss I have ever received. Fuck was she sexy.

I stared back at her seriously, pecking her lips.

"It's better than hate." I replied softly, kissing my way down her body. I got to where I really wanted to be… where I had been dying to put my tongue. I flicked her teasingly and then sucked gently with my eyes never leaving hers. I groaned when I tasted her. She ran a hand tenderly through my hair…

"Maybe this time…" I paused to plant a kiss, swirling my tongue around her sweet spot. "You'll tell me the truth." I finished off saying, applying more pressure with Emily's hips rising up off the bed…

* * *

><p>I went into work angrily after the time I had with Emily. She had fallen asleep in my arms, her face in the crook of my neck, her arm over my stomach and a leg swung over my waist just like she used to do. That probably sounded all wrong. It wasn't Emily I was angry with. It was fucking Angel. I found myself watching Emily as she slept peacefully beside me and thinking of what had just happened. I was feeling good, content and fucking over the moon about having her in my arms again. I know what we just did wasn't a promise of anything, I mean fuck… I was still with Lia wasn't I? But then thoughts of what Emily had said prior to us sleeping together crept in and invaded my thoughts. I kept picturing Emily lying on the floor in my old bedroom back in Bristol with an empty pill bottle in her hand and immediately when I pictured Angel there assisting her, the anger rose so quickly I had to get out of that fucking house. I quietly slipped out of bed, had a shower and came to this fucking place I call work… "Angel fucking knew" is what kept replaying in my mind as I drove towards the club like a dead set maniac. She knew where Emily was and she didn't fucking tell me…<p>

"ANGEL." I yelled as I entered our club.

She jumped when she heard me call her name. She turned and looked at me confused and frightened. She didn't say anything. I approached her aggressively almost foaming at the fucking mouth. She stepped back and looked as if she wanted to run but it would seem our little Angel had forgotten she had a table behind her.

"YOU FUCKING KNEW AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME." I screamed in her face as I grabbed her by her clothing and slammed her onto the ground, dragging her along the floor towards the back of the club to be out of view of the customers.

"What have I done? What are you talking about?" She said quickly and in a panic.

"Emily, you fucking bitch." I growled, picking her up of the floor and throwing her against the wall. I grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and pushed her into a private room, kicking her onto the ground like the fucking dog she was.

"You knew where she was and you didn't fucking tell me you cunt. How could you do that? She tried to kill herself. How could you not tell me?" I said through a clenched jaw, unable to contain my anger. She didn't say anything and it fucking infuriated me even more. I jumped on top of her and raised my arm with my fist clenched. I went to punch her but at the last second, I couldn't. I don't know why but I diverted the punch and hit the floor beside her head instead.

"I'm sorry Naoms…"

"DON'T fucking call me that." I said, getting up onto my feet. "You're lucky I don't kill you Angel because right now I really FUCK-ING want to…" I confessed, my chest heaving up and down. "Get the fuck out of my sight before I do."

She didn't move so I grabbed her arm and dragged her once again across the floor.

"GET-THE-FUCK-OUT-OF-MY-SIGHT Angel. Don't fucking test me. FUCK OFF."

I wanted to inflict so much damage towards her it wasn't fucking funny but there was a small part of me that didn't want to hurt her because she was my friend. We had been through a lot together over the years but my anger had taken over almost completely…

"Blondie… everything alright?" I heard David say.

"I just… I need a minute David… Do me a favour and check on Angel." I replied anger still seeping through my voice as I tried my best to calm the fuck down.

Fortunately, David wasn't slow and got the message loud and clear. I wanted to be left alone.

(Calm down Naoms… come on. It's Angel we're talking about here. Surely there's a rational explanation. There's a reason why she didn't tell you. There has to be. Just calm the fuck down.)

I was fighting with myself in that small private little room. Nothing would please me more than to go back out there, grab Angel and punch the fuck out of her right now but I couldn't. I knew I couldn't and that was the only thing stopping me. I knew if I did, I would regret it terribly. I would never forgive myself. We had been in punch ups before together but I've never been this fucking uncontrollable with her and I knew if I started, I would not stop and I didn't want that. Not with Angel. I needed to calm down. When I do, I'll go back out there, I'll approach her slowly and hopefully she will understand my rage and be willing to talk about it. I mean she has known me since I was 13. If it was someone else, obviously they wouldn't talk in fact they wouldn't more than likely still be in this building.

I stomped a chair out of the way to help the anger along. I could feel it subsiding.

"Boss…. The breathing thing… do it." David said as he poked his head through the door again and left.

Well, it worked with the panic attack I had that day when Emily was in room 9. Why not? Might as well give it a whirl… What do I have to lose apart from my sanity? I sat down and…

(Breathe In through your nose… hold it… okay, now breathe out through your mouth slowly… again… breathe in…)

I sighed. It was working. I must look like a fucking mental patient right now, sitting there staring hard at the wall, breathing in and out like this. Jesus Christ.

When I felt that I had gotten myself under control, I fixed my clothing and hair before I left the room. David was standing not too far away, leaning up against the wall as if he was waiting for me. He heard my footsteps and looked up at me with a small smile on his face.

"Better?" He asked.

"Yeah, thanks mate." I nodded.

He stood up straight and started chuckling which had me confused.

"Who needs security when you're around Naomi? I get the feeling you offered a job that didn't exist."

"Maybe… but I'm glad I did." I said feeling myself smile. How could he do that? I was ropable a minute ago, now I'm chatting with David like nothing had happened. He had a gift this bloke. I was sure of it.

"Well." He nodded once. "You know I appreciate it."

"I know David."

"Alright." He said tilting his head towards my office. "Angel's in there waitin' for ya. I'm assumin' you two need to have a chat yeah? And I mean a chat otherwise…" He paused and shook his head. "I'm gonna have to eject one of ya's, that's what my lovely boss hired me to do." He finished grinning.

I chuckled.

"Smart arse."

"Ah!" He said lifting his hand up. "You've been warned. Three of those and you're out. Got it?"

"HAHAHA, yeah alright, relax… got it." I replied.

I left David who was smiling like a fool and walked towards my office. Before I opened the door I took a deep breath just to make sure that I was completely calm. I knew when I saw her face, I would get angry again but this time I wanted to keep it under my complete control otherwise if I went off on one again, I wouldn't be able to stop. Someone would have to drag me off.

"Don't say anything Naoms… let me explain okay?" Angel said immediately as soon as I opened the door.

I nodded giving her the go ahead. She was on the other side of my desk. It was a wise decision, having the desk between us but she knew me well enough to know that I would go straight over the cunt and strangle her to death if I really needed to.

(STOP IT)

"Okay." She said, sighing heavily preparing herself for what she wanted to say. "Okay…"

I leaned on the door and slid down it and sat on the floor while I waited for her to start speaking.

"When I finished school, Darren had gotten arrested for pushin' amphetamines. The pigs took everything Naoms. I had no money to pay the rent and the bloke who owned the house kicked me out. I had nowhere to go so I crashed at your place. I didn't think you would mind. I mean it wasn't like you were living there, you were already here so…"

"Move along." I said not wanting to hear her whole life story.

"Okay…" She said pausing to recollect her thoughts. "I was sleeping on the couch when she came into the house. I didn't hear her come in. I woke up to sobbing and it scared the fuck out of me. Ya know, like I wasn't expectin' it. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen thinkin' someone decided to squat but it was Emily. She was already well fucked up. I couldn't believe it was her. I hadn't seen her for a good year… she was on your old bed clutchin' onto a pill bottle…"

I stayed silent. The thought of it was tearing at my fucking heart strings to think of the pain she must have been in to do something like that. The pain I had put her in. I know I can't blame myself for the girl they found dead back in Bristol but had I not left, there would have been no misunderstanding and that's exactly what it was. That is exactly what could have caused my Emily to longer be here. A fucking misunderstanding… Angel sighed and seemed to look rather depressed as she thought back to that time.

"I fucking shit myself. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how many she had taken so I dragged her into the bathroom and forced her to spew up whatever was left in her stomach. She was crying out for you Naoms… It was fucking terrible. I don't even think she knew it was me helpin' her. I told her not to worry and that you weren't far away or something like that. I can't remember exactly but…" She paused and swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. Her eyes teary. "I called an ambulance just to be sure she'd be okay and hid. I didn't want to be blamed for what had happened. I waited for them to come and take her before I left. I went the next day to visit her. I wanted to tell her I knew where you were but she wasn't there. The nursing staff had said her parents had discharged her. I tried to find out if she was taken somewhere else. I tried to find where she lived but they wouldn't tell me anything…"

I cut her off.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"How could I Naoms? You were on your own suicide mission. What good would it have done? I didn't know where she went. I looked for weeks to try and find her but she fucking disappeared. I didn't want to lose you. Had I told you what had happened you would have fucking thrown yourself off a bridge. I was scared… I had already lost Emily in a ways. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you too. Why do you think I came to London? I fucked up by leaving Emily. I should have stayed with her and gone to the hospital… Fucked if I was going to let you leave my sights…"

I sighed.

"You still should have told me." I replied in a low and saddened voice.

"It was hard for me too Naomi. I know you lost the love of your life but how do you think I felt being stuck in the middle of that? I lost the two most important and dearest friends I have ever known. I came here because I knew you needed my help. Just as well I did because you were half fucking dead when I saw you… how the fuck could I tell you about Emily after seeing you like that? It would have done more harm than good. You were already blaming yourself for what had happened…"

Angel stepped around the desk and walked over to me and kneeled down.

"I knew she was okay Naoms. Her parents had her. She had Katie. They would have looked after her… it was you I was more worried about. You didn't have anyone… I'm sorry babe. I probably should have told you but I was terrified of losing you. Keeping it from you seemed like the only option at the time."

I sighed again. It's all I seemed to be able to do… I decided that I would accept what she said. It was a dark and stressful time for all involved. I think it's best to let sleeping dogs lie… I looked down at my feet.

"Sorry." I simply said.

Angel shifted herself closer towards me.

"It's okay babe… I think had it been me, I would have reacted the same way."

I nodded slowly.

"We're okay though, aren't we?" Angel asked rather nervously. I looked back up at her and gave her a small smile.

"Yeah, we're okay."

* * *

><p>I walked around the back of the Velvet Curtain to have a smoke outside. I felt like I needed some fresh air. I was feeling exhausted and I needed to wake up a little bit. I still had a good 5 hours left in this place…<p>

"I AM NOT!" I heard the voice shout. I would recognise that voice anywhere. It was Emily. I snuck to the side wall of the building and peeked around the corner into the alley and squinted hatefully at the bloke I recognised from the motel. I wanted to make myself known but something told me to just stay put for a moment and wait it out a little longer. He was speaking rather low so I couldn't hear him but it didn't take a genius to know that both individuals were in a heated argument.

Emily appeared to be riled up.

"You're not taking me off of this job. That's final." She told the bastard standing in front of her. He seemed to be extremely frustrated with her. He grabbed her wrist and put something in her hand. It looked like a piece of paper. When he spoke, he was much louder. His temper getting the better of him.

"That address, tomorrow. Be there." He said storming off towards a parked car. It was different to the one I had seen him in the other day. I took a mental note of the make and model. The number plate wasn't visible from where I was standing but I'd check the cameras later. I reckon he was just close enough to be in view of them.

Who the fuck was this guy? An annoying thought kept entering my head… surely I was wrong.

(Is he her… pimp?)

I hated thinking that but all signs were pointing in that direction. I just… if I jumped to conclusions and was wrong about it, Emily wouldn't be happy. Could you imagine? "Oh Ems, I know you're a hooker… that guy, is he your pimp?" As if I could say that. She'd tell me to fuck off and she'd leave. I had to be careful about how I handled this. I have to be honest… the longer Emily stayed with me and the more information I was privy too… fuck did it break my heart all over again. I don't know how I've managed to survive this long. I have been worried sick about her. She has no idea just how much fucking stress she has put me under. She doesn't think that I know anything.

I watched as Emily went in the same direction as he did but turn the corner. She was going to come through the front of the club. I felt terribly ill all of a sudden and so I hunched forward and spewed whatever remained in my stomach from earlier in the day. It wasn't much. I hadn't been able to eat properly for a little while now. I had dropped a bit of weight and the weight loss was enough to have Lia worried. I just couldn't keep anything down. My appetite was non-existent.

I couldn't take another 5 hours of this shit so I quickly went back inside and told Angel I needed to take the rest of the day off. She wasn't impressed because I had slacked off from work ever since Emily came back into my life. Angel was worried in her own little way too but she could tell I wasn't feeling the best because lately I had looked like death warmed up so she let me go without giving me an earful on responsibilities…

"You're home early." Lia said as she finished up sweeping the floor.

"Yeah, I wasn't feeling too crash hot." I replied kissing her softly on the cheek. It felt wrong especially when earlier in the day I had slept with Emily. I felt a massive wave of guilt wash over me with Lia noticing the change.

"Is everything okay hun?"

I nodded and made my way to the fridge… there was nothing in there that took my fancy in terms of a drink so I grabbed the milk and popped it on the bench and flicked the switch on the kettle. I thought I could do with a coffee.

"You want one?" I asked Lia.

She smiled warmly and I felt the dagger that was sitting in my chest slide in that little bit deeper.

"I'll have a tea please." She responded.

Do I tell Lia that I cheated on her with my ex? What would be the point of that? Emily and me hadn't spoken at all since we slept together. As I said earlier, no promises were made. As much as it pained me to think, it could have just been a one off thing. It was definitely in the heat of the moment. That I know for sure. If I had any control whatsoever, I would have done the honourable thing and broke it off with Lia if I knew where Emily stood before anything had happened. I know it was wrong to lie but if Emily had moved on from me and didn't want to rekindle what we once had then in my mind, there was no point in discussing it with Lia. It would only break her heart and it would be over a one night stand basically. No, I think at this stage I'll just try and sweep it under the carpet.

"Oh hun, I found this in Emily's room. Can you let her know it's here? I almost sucked it up the vacuum cleaner." Lia said chuckling as she placed a button from my shirt on the bench top.

(SHIT)

"Eh yeah… yeah no worries. I'll tell her." I replied quickly. My cheeks suddenly feeling red hot.

"Are you sure you're okay Naoms?" Lia asked in concern.

I nodded taking a sip from my freshly made coffee.

"Uhuh… yeah, I'm fine… I think I might duck upstairs and have a shower. I feel a bit gross."

I took another gulp of the hot drink, burning my tongue slightly and popped the mug in the sink. I forced a quick smile towards Lia and hurried off to our bedroom. I needed to get out of there. I felt fucking horrible for doing that to her even though it was Emily I did it with. It didn't make it right though, did it? I had been with Lia for almost 4 years now. It wasn't just some summer fling. It would kill her if she knew I had been unfaithful to her.

I threw my clothes off and pretty much dived into the shower. I needed to feel the hot water on my skin. It always managed to calm me down and make me feel better. It was my 'go to' when I wanted to relax. I started off washing my hair first and when I was done with that, I lathered my body in soap and scrubbed myself clean. Once I had rinsed the soap off, I turned the heat up a little and let the water fall over my head and down my back. Fuck it felt good. I loved the feeling of a boiling hot shower. It was like all the bad shit washed away with all the water and soap, swirling around for few moments and then disappearing down the drain.

When I was done, I dried off and got myself dressed in just my 'bumming' around clothes which consisted of jeans, a hoodie and my trusty black and white Vans. I dried my hair but I couldn't be fucked redoing it so I just popped on one of my slouch beanies and then made my way down stairs. Lia was getting dinner ready. She greeted me with a sexy smile as I walked passed and made my way to the couch. I leaned back and closed my eyes, just wondering what the fuck I was going to do about Lia, about Emily and that fucking prick she seems glued to and of course, Emily and me. I had no idea where to start. My thoughts were all over the fucking place. I think for me, the main priority would be to get Emily out of whatever it is she has gotten herself into. I had no idea what that was but I would stare anything in the face to ensure she was safe and out of fucking trouble. Then if she would allow it, we could talk about us if there was or could potentially be an 'us' and then whatever happens after that, I would sort out Lia. That seemed the best way to go about it. In a situation such as this, there is always someone that gets hurt no matter what you do… and it sucked because I didn't want to hurt anyone. I would prefer the hurt to be all mine if it meant I could save Lia and Emily from feeling that way…

"Hi." Lia said as she straddled me.

I placed my hands on her hips trying my best to act as normal as possible. Emily and the events that happened earlier were still very fresh in my mind.

"Hey." I smiled.

She leaned down closer to me and kissed me softly on the lips. I really wasn't into this. I didn't want to do it. It felt wrong. There wasn't quite the same spark as there had been when I had kissed Emily… 15 year old Naomi would have loved it. Shagging one chick in the morning, having another one at night. Not this Naomi though. I wasn't and haven't been like that for a very long time and even when I was, I didn't care about the girls I was with. I care about Lia and I care about Emily so it's completely different. Bed hopping was not something I wanted to do but at the same time… Lia and me had just sorted out our problems. One of those problems was me not wanting her anymore so if I denied her now, she would think something was up. She would be hurt and confused because it was all still quite fresh.

"How was work?" She asked in between light kisses.

"Mmm" I hummed softly against her lips.

She ran her tongue across my bottom lip and took one of my hands and placed it under her top. I took over from there and stroked her soft skin upwards until I reached her breasts, cupping one with my hand.

**SLAM**

"Oh, I'm sorry… I lost my grip on the door." Emily said as she walked into the house.

(Shit)

Lia started chuckling.

"It's okay Emily, don't worry about it."

Lia turned to me, kissing me one last time.

"I plan on finishing this later…" She whispered with that look in her eye as she got up off me slowly and then turned to walk into the kitchen.

"Are you hungry Emily?" Lia asked.

"Um, no thank you... I was thinking of getting an early night tonight. I'm exhausted." Emily said as she glared at me. Luckily Lia was too preoccupied with the food on the stove to notice.

Emily walked around the couch and stopped. She leaned in from behind me and whispered into my ear "Some things never change." I sat up straight and went to turn around to face her. I was wondering what Emily was doing when she looked over at Lia quickly and then back to me. She slapped me at the back of the head with her handbag before she said "Goodnight." and walked down the hallway, disappearing into her room, Lia none the wiser.

(Some things never change? What the fuck does that mean?)

"You want some dinner hun?"

"Um yeah… not too much though." I replied. "I just need to talk to Emily real quick."

"Is everything alright?" Lia frowned.

"Yeah, it's no biggie… just work stuff. I keep forgettin' to tell her."

"Well don't be too long. Your dinner will get cold." She replied as she took three plates from the cupboard. "Hun… just let Emily know I put some tea away for her if she wants it later."

"Yeah no worries." I said as I quickly made my way down to Emily.

I knocked twice on the door but didn't bother waiting for an answer. I walked in and shut it closed quickly and stepped close to Emily who was staring at me with her eyebrow raised.

"Can I help you Naomi?"

"What the hell was that out there?"

"What are you referring to?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"The whole fucking whispering in my ear and hitting me… what the fuck Emily? Lia was standing right there. What if she saw?"

"I knew she wasn't looking." Emily said as she went over to her chest of draws.

I stayed silent for a moment.

"What the fuck did you mean by "Some things never change"?

I had to ask. It bugged me.

"You like to have your cake and eat it too."

I frowned.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh you know, jumping from one bed to the next."

I started to become agitated.

I stepped closer to Emily, leaning in as she shuffled around through her draw.

"I never cheated on you Emily."

She nodded her head.

"I'll give credit where it's due. You didn't but we were friends before you and I got together." She paused and turned to face me with a sarcastic smirk across her face. "I remember this one particular day… I believe it was a Friday. How many was it Naoms? 4 girls?" She looked off to the side, remembering back to the time she was referring to. "No, no my mistake, it was 5… 5 girls in the one day."

I rolled my eyes.

"I was 16 Emily and need I remind you, I was fucking single."

She shook her head a couple of times.

"You're slacking off Naoms… the day is nearly over and you're only up to 2…"

"Why are you being like this?" I asked confused.

"Being like what?" She asked pretending to look offended.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes." She said. "I am very serious."

I shook my head.

"Yeah okay, I'm imagining it."

I stepped around her and opened the bedroom door.

"Oh and Naomi…"

I turned to face her. Emily walked over to me slowly and slipped her left hand under my hoodie, stroking my stomach softly. It took a lot for me to not grab her and take her there and then. It was really fucking difficult. She pressed herself against me, her hand going further up towards my breasts. I didn't move an inch. I was well aware that Lia was not really that far away. I felt Emily's hand slowly slide back down, her nails dragging along my skin. She kissed me tenderly on the neck and made her way to my ear.

"I think you forgot something." She whispered sensually as she tugged at my jeans. Her right hand came from around her back revealing my belt. The one I had been wearing earlier… the same one that Emily assisted in unbuckling.

(FUCK… Lia could have found that.)

I squinted at Emily as she passed it to me and stood back. She was playing with me and I didn't like it one bit.

"You better put that on hun, seen you struggle to keep it in your pants. Anything could happen from here to the kitchen." She said as she walked passed me and entered the bathroom.

What the fuck was up with her? Okay so she had been cold towards me before we slept together but you would think things might have changed even if it was just a little bit after this morning. Fucking hell. I'm getting nowhere with her. She won't fucking let me.

I sighed heavily and stepped out of her room, closing her door behind me. I walked towards the kitchen where Lia greeted me with a smile, joined her at the kitchen table and quietly ate my dinner…

(When will this day fucking end?)

* * *

><p>"Have a good day hun, I'll see you tonight." Lia said, kissing me on the cheek before leaving for work.<p>

"You too." I replied. I watched as Lia closed the door, turned…

"Jesus fuck Emily."

She scared the shit out of me. She was standing right behind me. I almost knocked into her.

"What ar…"

She cut me off with a searing kiss, pulling me down roughly by my shirt. I was shocked and didn't respond straight away but it didn't take much encouragement to get a move on. Emily backed away towards the table, dragging me along with her. She used her arm to clear it by pushing whatever was in the way onto the floor before climbing on top of it. Grabbing my right hand, she slipped it under her skirt and I have never groaned so fucking loudly in my entire life when I felt that she had no panties on under there and boy was she ready. I licked my lips hungrily at the thought of tasting her again. She was highly addictive.

Emily pulled back slightly with a look that dared me to do something. How could I not accept the challenge? I used both my hands to push her further up the table and pulled her skirt up around her waist. Pushing her back firmly onto the table's surface, I immediately dove in and wrapped my lips around her, sucking and flicking relentlessly. I lowered my left shoulder and grabbed her right thigh, throwing her leg over me as I pushed into her harder.

"Ohhhh fuck…" she moaned in that husky voice of hers, tilting her head back.

I couldn't stop groaning. Feeling her throb, watching her reaction, having her hips rock against me… what can one say? It was fucking divine but suddenly, I stopped.

"What are you doing?" Emily panted.

I stared at her blankly, shaking my head.

"I can't do this…"

She sat up immediately and pushed me roughly away from her.

"Fine." She said pulling her skirt down to cover herself and sounding rather annoyed. "Then don't."

She slid down off the table and stormed passed me. I reached out and took her arm and pulled her back, brushing her hair away from her face.

"I meant… I'm not going to fuck you Emily." I told her seriously. "I didn't before and I'm not going to start now."

"What if that is all I want from you?" She replied.

"Then I'm sorry… I can't give it to you."

I saw her eyes change. She flickered back to MY Emily. She didn't speak but the look in her eyes told me what I needed to know. She hadn't meant what she said before, only wanting a meaningless fuck. I know deep down she cared but she refused to admit it out loud. I still didn't know why she felt the need to protect herself from me. I had showed nothing but kindness, I had been patient and I had tried my best to help her in every way possible but she still felt the need to guard herself. It was only during 'emotional' times did she forget to keep the wall up. When I attacked that bloke back at the club, I saw my Emily. Yesterday morning, my Emily and right now again, my Emily. If only I could get her to open up when she was like this things would be so much fucking easier…

"You know how I feel about you. I've made it clear."

Emily stepped back and away from me.

"What do you want from me?" She responded, folding her arms. "Because if it's us getting back together, it will never happen."

I stepped closer to her, invading her personal space.

"Why Emily?"

She stayed silent.

"Emily... WHY?" I shouted feeling very fucking agitated by her silence. That is all I got from her when the questions got too personal. Complete and total fucking silence. If she didn't want to be with me or whatever, fucking fine but I deserved a fucking answer. I stared intensely at her trying to analyse her facial expression and the look in her eyes. Although they had seemed to get a little glassy or watery, however you want to put it she wasn't giving anything away.

"Because…" She went to reply only to stop directly after the word was said.

"Because why?"

"Be-cause I don't love you anymore. I haven't felt anything for you for a very long time." She said walking away hurriedly towards her bedroom.

"Emily?" I called out feeling like she just told me the world's biggest fucking lie. Even though I was convinced that she still felt something for me, it still fucking hurt to hear her say that.

"Leave me alone Naomi." She said right before slamming her bedroom door shut.

"Nice." I said to myself. "Fucking lovely."

Why was she being so fucking stubborn? This was doing my head in. It really was. I wanted to be with her so badly. Have her as my own once again. She, re-entering my life had completely turned it upside down. It had become unstable. I couldn't give two fat fucks about that though. I wanted her and I fucking knew she wanted me… I knew.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading :D I hope you all have a lovely morningday/night. Take care :)**

**Lyrics:**

**- Fuckin' Problems - A$AP Rocky ft. Drake, 2Chainz & Kendrick Lamar**

**- How Many Licks? - Lil Kim ft. Sisqo**

**- My Neck, My Back (Lick It) - Khia**

**- Lollipop - Lil Wayne ft. Static Major**


	11. Chapter 11

**The Lives We Lead**

**Chapter XI**

**A/N: Hello again awesome people :D How are we all? Are we ready for another chapter? I hope so coz here it is, all ready for you to read.**

**P.S. Fank you for the lovely reviews… I'm still bloody smiling lol. I must admit though, my cheeks are gettin' a little sore BUT that isn't me complaining… by all means, keep it up :P **

**Special thanks to Turtle for all your patience :)**

***whispers* you guys are awesome…**

* * *

><p>.<p>

**Is she really going out with him?**

**Well, there she is, let's ask her**

**Betty, is that Jimmy's ring you're wearing? Mmmhmm**

**Gee, it must be great riding with him**

**Is he picking you up after school today? Mmmhmm**

**By the way, where'd you meet him?**

**.**

(What the fuck is this shit?)

I was sitting out on the main floor at the back of the room on break, enjoying a rather lovely coffee made by Jessie. That said coffee almost went all over me and the back of the person sitting in front of me because I almost sprayed the cunt out. Who the fuck chose this fucking…

(Oh)

Well, that makes sense. Veronica aka Theresa had skipped out onto the stage with the curtains opening revealing a motorcycle. Don't ask where she got the bike from because I have no fucking idea… Actually it might Vinnie's, one of the clubs security guards. Yeah, it looks like his. It was black and all chromed out. It was a nice piece of machinery that bike… On the left side of the stage there was one of those old 50's jukeboxes and to the back and right there were a total of 3 old school diner booths. I have to give the set an A+ but this song… fuck me. People are going to walk out. Theresa was dancing slowly to the song around the bike before she swung her leg over it and sat down.

.

**I met him at the candy store**

**He turned around and smiled at me**

**You get the picture? Yes, we see**

**That's when I fell for the leader of the pack…**

.

When the bikes revved in the song, Theresa had turned the key and revved Vinnie's bike in exactly the same timing. My fucking God was that thing loud. As you would expect, the blokes were all excited about it. I didn't know what to think. Were they excited over Theresa or the fucking bike? Who knows…?

She was wearing a black leather jacket, no bra which was quite noticeable but her breasts were covered by the jacket. She was also wearing black 9inch heels and those stockings that go up just past the knee. Oh and a g string. Can't forget that… Theresa looked hot and the set was fucking awesome but seriously who the fuck picked this song? It's fucked. You can't strip to this shit, Jesus Christ…

.

**My folks were always putting him down**

**(Down, down)**

**They said, he came from the wrong side of town**

**They told me, he was bad, but I knew he was sad**

**That's why I fell for the leader of the pack…**

.

(HAHAHAHA)

Theresa turned around and stuck her arse out towards the crowd. The way she did it was sexy but absolutely hilarious at the same time. It was quite unexpected. She quickly spun back to face the crowd and put her hand up to her mouth as if she was gasping in shock due to her naughty behaviour. The song stopped playing with me thinking "Oh oh, sound systems fucked." and at first I thought Theresa was panicking because she was looking around everywhere but then the sound of drums came through the speakers. Immediately, she looked at the crowd confidently with a huge fucking smirk on her face and ripped her leather jacket off, swinging it in the air and then throwing it into the sea of men and a handful of women. Two other girls came out from the side of the stage and removed their jackets also. They roared and cheered when the three girls strut towards the poles in nothing on except their stockings, g's and heels and swung themselves around it in time with the music. Theresa most definitely went from a "What the fuck?" moment to the crowd whistling and clapping along with the song... The way the songs were arranged and how Theresa performed made me think of Emily. I'd back it in that Theresa asked for advice off of Ems. There was no doubt in my mind.

(Very clever)

.

**I saw him dancin' there by the record machine **

**I knew he must a been about seventeen **

**The beat was goin' strong **

**Playin' my favourite song **

**An' I could tell it wouldn't be long **

**Till he was with me, yeah me **

**And I could tell it wouldn't be long **

**Till he was with me, yeah me, singin'**

**.**

The club erupted as they all started singing along.

.

**I love rock n' roll **

**So put another dime in the jukebox, baby **

**I love rock n' roll **

**So come and take your time and dance with me…**

.

She walked her way down the little set of stairs on the side of the stage and started to interact with the customers, giving them little lap dances as she went around the room. It was quite good actually. I was surprised especially with that fucking song at the start. I was thinking "Oh no, she was a one hit wonder. FUCK." but the show as a whole, it fit well. She wanted people to laugh when she came out. She wanted people to think "what the fuck is going on?" and she succeeded… It turned out to be quite a nice surprise.

"Naoms, Emily wants ya." Angel whispered into my ear.

I turned and frowned at Angel with her shrugging. I got up from where I was sitting a little on the confused side. Emily had never asked for me or even spoken to me at work unless it was work related and it was always me approaching and doing the talking, never her.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"She's waitin' by your office."

I walked quickly, concerned. I know I was jumping to conclusions in thinking something was wrong but this was highly unusual. I saw Emily leaning against the wall by the door with her arms folded across her chest.

"Hey." I said as I used my key to open the office door. "What's up?"

I held the door open as she walked in, closing it behind me before I walked over to my side of the desk. Emily stayed standing.

"I need to take a few days off." She said. It was only because I knew Emily so well that I could tell she was agitated about something even though she was hiding it extremely well. Had I not been paying attention, I would not have noticed. I raised my hand and motioned it towards the chair.

"Have a seat."

She stared at me for a long moment. She didn't seem to want to sit but she changed her mind and lowered herself into the chair.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"Yes."

I leaned back in my chair and studied her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Noth…"

"And don't lie to me." I said cutting her off.

There was silence. We just sat there staring at each other. Me waiting for her to speak, her not wanting to.

"Well?" I said, raising my eyebrow.

"Well what?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you need a few days off? What's wrong?"

"My personal life is none of your business Naomi. I don't have to tell you why I am in need of time off. All you need to know is that I won't be here so you won't be short staffed."

"True." I said nodding. "However, you are residing at my address, you are employed as one of my staff in this club and your wardrobe consists of clothes from my shop so in a way, I'm already involved in your 'personal' life." I replied.

Emily scoffed.

"Why won't you talk to me?" I asked sincerely, dropping the attitude.

"Are you going to authorise me leave or not Naomi?"

"Something tells me if I don't you'll still be absent from work, won't you?"

"Yes." Was all she replied.

I sighed heavily. I really was getting nowhere with her. Okay, fine she didn't love me anymore or so she said but she won't even let me be a friend.

"Okay Emily." I said giving up. "Here."

I pushed a notepad and pen towards her.

"Write down the dates so I know when you'll be back… you want to dip into your sick leave or have the days unpaid?" I asked giving her the option.

"Unpaid. I might need the sick days for when I'm actually sick." She replied with a smart arse tone.

"I'm only trying to help you Emily. What the fuck is your problem?"

She pushed the notepad back towards me with the dates written down.

"I need to get back to work." She stated.

"Emily wait…"

She stopped and turned back around to face me. I don't even know why I asked her to wait. Whatever I had wanted to say completely slipped my mind. It was gone.

"Nothing, you can go." I sighed.

I turned to my computer and reached over and grabbed the notepad, putting the information into the little program I had set up that helped me keep up to date with the girls expecting Emily to have walked out.

"Naomi…"

I turned to face her.

"You should be careful with who you place your trust in."

I frowned not knowing what or who she meant.

"Huh?"

She looked me straight in the eye.

"Just be careful." She said before she walked out of my office, closing the door behind her.

(What the fuck does that mean?)

I got up and followed her. You can't say shit like that and then just walk off without explaining further.

"Ems… Emily…" I called out. She kept walking so I jogged up to her before she went back out in view of the public.

"Stop… please." I said taking her arm gently and tugging on it.

"Who shouldn't I be trusting?"

I knew she was thinking of someone in particular by the look in her eye but she did not want to tell me for whatever reason.

"I don't know Naomi. I just meant that deep down, you're a good person. People take advantage of that so you need to be careful." She quickly replied. I knew it was bullshit what she said. I knew she knew something that I didn't. She just didn't want to be a snitch.

"Emily, if you know something…"

"I don't know anything… I really need to get back to work. Jessie is on her own. It's busy." She replied.

I let go of her arm, sighing.

"Yeah, okay."

Emily gave me a small smile and walked away. I didn't know what to believe. Was she being serious or was she just being all cryptic to fuck with my head more than she already had?

"DAVID." I yelled out over the music as I saw him walk by, waving him over. He turned and smiled brightly as he headed towards me.

"What can I do for ya boss?"

"Follow me." I said turning and walking back towards my office. I didn't want anyone to hear what I had to say.

"David, if anything funny was going on in here… would you tell me?"

"I reckon so but what ya mean funny?" he replied frowning seriously.

I sighed.

"I don't know exactly mate but anything that's out of place, ya know? Drugs um, the girls taking customers into the back room… Shit like that."

"I haven't seen anything like that boss. You want me to keep an eye out?" He asked.

"Yeah if you could…" I paused for a moment. "What have you seen?"

His last answer made me think he had seen something but not what I had mentioned.

He didn't say anything.

"David if you know something… I need you to tell me mate."

He nodded his head slowly.

"Miss Emily… she's been sneakin' off every now and then to the alley out the back."

I already knew Ems was doing that. I had seen with my own eyes.

"She's always talkin' to the same bloke. He's there waitin' for her. He looks like the guy from the motel."

I didn't say anything.

"He's been in 'ere a few times too. He sticks to himself. He sits right at the back on his own."

"Okay." I said with my mind racing with a 101 different thoughts. "Anything else?" I asked.

"Yeah." David replied. "I dunno who this bloke is now but I do know he WAS in the SAS."

"Special Air Service?" I asked shocked. "How the fuck do you know that David?"

David pointed to the inside of his forearm.

"He has a tat here… I recognised it from a photo of my old man. He had the same one, the sword with the wings."

(FUCK ME)

"He ain't a good ol' boy anymore though. There's something about him I don't like."

"What do you mean?" I asked quickly.

"Forgive me for sayin' this boss but when I put the motel thing and what I've seen together… I would say he has Miss Emily doin' things she don't really wanna do. I think he's makin' her…"

"Go on… It's okay David. You can speak freely." I said when he hesitated.

"I think he's makin' her sleep with people for money."

"But I thought you said you only ever saw her with him?"

"And I wasn't lyin' to ya boss but I think it's bigger than just a street corner hooker. I think he has connections. Wealthy customers wantin' a girlfriend for the night. She goes to them."

"You mean like an escort?"

That makes sense. The prick gave Emily a piece of paper with an address when I saw her arguing with him.

"Yeah, exactly like that except these bastards pay way more money. She's young, she's a good lookin' girl and she's clean if you know what I mean? Not easy to find in that sort of business Boss. They take her out with 'em to parties and that kinda shit. She scrubs up well and you'd never know she was a…"

"Hooker." I interrupted.

He nodded.

"Like I said, hard to find."

We both stayed silent for a long moment.

"David, how do you know all this?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Babes, no one pays attention to the homeless man. I've heard and I've seen a lot of things in my life time. I'm invisible." He replied.

I nodded understandingly.

"Peaches… I think she's been usin'." David said, changing the subject.

Can this shit get any worse?

"What makes you say that?"

"I caught her noddin' in the bathroom. I didn't see any drugs but her pupils were fuckin' tiny. She couldn't even talk. She kept tellin' me she was tired."

"David, I need you to come to me with these sorts of things yeah? I can't have this happening in my club. We'll get shut down."

He nodded.

"Well, that's all I know hun…"

"Thanks David."

"Not a problem, sunshine." He responded before turning towards the doorway.

"Wait…"

He stopped and turned to face me.

"How would you feel if I asked you to be my eyes and ears out there?" I said tilting my head towards the main floor of the club.

He smiled warmly.

"Anything for you Blondie."

* * *

><p>I went home that night with thoughts of Emily invading my mind. I still couldn't believe that this is how life had turned out for her. She was so fucking smart at school. It was the reason I pushed her into making sure she finished. She could have been anything she put her mind to but I left her didn't I? I wasn't there to 'crack the whip' and make sure she kept her head down and studied. My worst fear was her becoming like me back then. The bad girl image might have been cool back at school. A rebel was what was attractive to most girls even if it was just a phase they were going through. The rebel almost always ends up the bum in adulthood. They don't go anywhere except either under the ground prematurely or jail. I was one of the lucky ones though. I straightened my life out and yeah maybe a strip club isn't the most respectable job or maybe even something to be proud of. I don't know but what I do know is that I own a business, I own a house. I'm making a wage legally. 5-6 years ago, I would never have thought it possible. I was dying slowly. I was killing myself with all the intoxicants I was ingesting. A life without Emily at the time wasn't a life at all. I wanted to die. I wished every time I got high that I would fall asleep and never wake up. I was too much of a coward to just slit my wrists or inject a shit load of gear into my veins. I didn't have the balls to do it that way so instead, I did it slowly. Little by little each and every day I was one step closer to my grave… It should have been me selling myself. Not fucking Emily. She was pure, innocent and that's why I had to make her mine. She was different to everyone else. She was genuine. She hadn't been corrupted by anyone. I wanted that. I wanted her. I loved her and I wanted to protect her and I failed. I failed miserably. I know it's all in the past. I know I can't change a God damn thing no matter how hard I wish I could but I blame myself for everything. Whatever Emily has been through in these last 6 years, I fucking blame myself because I wasn't there. I'm responsible for everything that has happened to her…<p>

"Peaches?"

"You're home early." Lia announced.

Peaches was sitting at the counter in my house, sipping a coffee.

"Eh, what are you doing here?" I asked questioningly, looking from her to Lia and back again.

She stood up and took a step in my direction.

"I tried calling the office but no one answered. I needed to speak to you." She replied.

"Um, okay." I said, putting my things down at the kitchen table.

Peaches had never been to my house before. None of the girls had except for obviously Emily and Angel. I didn't like mixing work with my private life.

"Something's popped up and I won't be able to come into work. I need to leave tonight." She said. "That's why I'm here. I couldn't wait to call you tomorrow. I was going to just pass on the message to Lia but she invited me in for a coffee."

"Everything okay?" I asked suspiciously. That's two of my workers asking for time off in the same day. It must be a new trend.

"My aunt passed away. I have to go down to Hastings for the funeral." She said sadly.

(Nice one Naomi.)

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Um, of course… take all the time you need." I replied.

"I asked if Theresa could fill in for me, she said she was fine with it. I hope that's okay?"

"Yeah 'course." I responded.

Peaches grabbed her coat off of the back of the stool and collected her bag.

"Thank you for the coffee Lia."

Lia smiled warmly back at her and nodded once.

"I should get going. I don't fancy missing the train."

"Do you need a lift to the station?" I asked.

"Oh no, that's alright Naomi. The station isn't that far plus the walk will do me good." She replied.

"Okay…"

Peaches walked up to me with me turning and walking towards the door and opening it for her.

"My condolences Peaches, to you and your family." I said.

"Thank you Naomi… I'll be in touch later in the week."

I nodded and closed the door as she walked down the driveway and onto the street. Lia had walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"How was your day?" She whispered, kissing my neck.

I turned around slowly and pecked her lips.

"It was okay…"

She leaned forward and awarded me with a searing kiss.

"I've been thinking about you since you left for work this morning." She confessed before kissing me again.

"I would hope so." I replied against her lips with a hint of cheeky sarcasm.

I smirked into the kiss with all thoughts of Peaches and Emily fading away, bending down and picking her up. She wrapped her legs around me as I walked towards the stairs and took us both up to the bedroom. I had intentions of topping her… I was a top after all but she had other ideas. She wanted to control the situation. When I had placed her on the bed with me on top of her, she flipped us over and told me to "Stay". She tenderly undid the button on my pants and took them off in one swift movement. Lia pushed my shirt up a little ways and leaned down, kissing the exposed skin of my stomach as she slid my knickers off.

"I've wanted to do this to you all day." She said as she nipped the inside of my thigh.

I crossed my arms underneath the back of my head for support as she slowly nipped, sucked and licked her way along the inside of my thighs to where I was throbbing intensely. Lia was staring at me with every move her tongue made and I found myself wanting her to hurry up and put it where I needed it. She could tell by the look in my eye and started to giggle… I uncrossed my arms and pushed down on her head softly wanting to feel her on me. I was starting to get impatient. As much as I loved teasing and getting teased… well the getting teased part I could only put up with so much before it become absolute torture, much like now. I was so turned on it was getting a little on the painful side. I needed it…

I groaned when Lia took me between her lips, sucking gently and swirling around my sweet spot. I clutched onto her hair and pushed her down closer to me wanting more. She responded hungrily, a moan escaping her lips that vibrated against me.

**SMASH**

Lia stopped immediately, jumped and then shrieked covering her mouth afterwards but if there was an intruder, they would have heard her already. It was too late. I quickly sat up and got off the bed and put my pants back on… The sound of glass smashing on the floorboards was a little unnerving. To say I wasn't shitting myself would be an understatement. My heart was pounding against my rib cage.

"Wait here." I instructed.

She grabbed my arm panicked and pulled me towards her.

"Don't go down there… call the police."

"It's okay… just stay up here. Don't move. It'll be okay." I said as reassuring as I possibly could, pecking her quickly on the lips.

I grabbed the machete I had under the bed for situations such as these and quietly tip toed my way downstairs with Lia forcefully whispering for me to not go. I put my finger over my lips to tell her to be quiet. The further away from the bedroom I was getting, the louder she was whispering. I needed to focus and listen for more noises.

The sound of someone walking on the broken glass made me stop dead in my tracks. It was close. If I continued down the stairs I was at risk of being spotted. I snuck a little further down, just enough to peek through the balustrades. I saw a shadowed figure move quickly into the kitchen and if I'm honest, I almost dropped the fucking machete onto the floorboards.

(Stupid)

Why don't I just call out and ask if anyone's there? Let them know I am home and exactly where I am in the house. Fucking hell…

I gripped the machete tighter, making sure I had a good grip in case I was surprised again. The last thing I wanted was to give away my location because me, butterfingers dropped the fucking blade.

(That's weird)

I heard the sound of sweeping and stood upright listening closely.

(Duh, it's Emily.)

I walked down the stairs, still mindful of where I placed my feet to keep quiet just in case and there she was. She had dropped a glass and was on her hands and knees cleaning up the mess.

"You…"

"FUCK." She said, jumping up in fright ready to attack me with the dust pan and broom. It was quite funny actually. Here I am with a big arse machete and there's Emily holding up a little broom.

"You scared the fuck out of us." I said chuckling.

"So what… you thought you would do the same to me? Jesus fucking Christ Naomi… You nearly gave me a heart attack." She said, trying to calm down and get her breathing and heart rate to a much more normal pace.

"NAOMS?" Lia shouted out.

"IT'S OKAY BABES… IT'S ONLY EMILY." I shouted back.

"Only?" Emily said in a low voice with her eyebrow raised. "Nice."

She went back down onto the floor and swept up the remainder of the mess, tipping the broken glass into the bin. I popped the machete onto the kitchen bench, obviously no longer needing it plus Emily kept looking at it uneasily. Surely she didn't think I would use it on her? God, what has this world come to when your ex thinks you're going to chop her up into a million little pieces? Oh… never mind. Stupid question.

Emily turned to face me with a weird look on her face. She was looking me up and down before she rested her eyes onto mine, tilting her head to the side slightly.

"Sorry I disturbed you."

"I… no you didn't." I said awkwardly.

"Mmmhmm." She responded with a smirk that didn't seem to quite reach her eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing." She said pursing her lips and shaking her head.

"No… what?" I asked again.

She sighed.

"You and Lia were in the middle of something… I disturbed you." She said.

I don't know why I just didn't admit it but I denied it.

"No, we weren't like… doing um we weren't doing anything."

(Yeah, real smooth Naomi. She'll really believe that now.)

Emily chuckled.

"You forget who you're talking to Naoms."

(She called me Naoms… Holy shit… I don't think she's called me that since she's been here. I can't remember.)

I tried my hardest not to smile. Hearing her call me Naoms just like she used to do, it was hard for me to not jump for fucking joy.

"I know that look on your face." She said confidently. She stepped closer and whispered. "I used to make you look like that."

Is it possible to groan inaudibly because I think I just did? The thought of Emily doing certain things came rushing back from the past… I felt my cheeks glow red hot when she said that. I broke eye contact and looked around the house. If Emily wasn't there, that's where I was looking.

Lia cleared her throat with me looking at her immediately and with Emily stepping back away from me slowly.

"Is everything okay?" She asked with her eyebrow raised.

"Yes." Emily replied. "I was just telling Naomi that I dropped a glass and that I would replace it. I'm sorry. I knocked it off of the bench."

(Whoa… she turned into the world's fastest bullshitter too.)

"Don't be silly Emily… It's just a glass. No harm done." Lia replied as she came up beside me. She leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I'm going to bed." She announced, discreetly stroking my back as if to say "Hurry up and get your arse upstairs."

"Good night Emily." Lia said smiling.

"Night." She replied.

Lia left the kitchen and disappeared upstairs.

"I suppose you should get going to bed too." Emily stated.

"I… I will in a bit. I might have a coffee first though… you want one?"

"I don't think you should keep her waiting too long Naomi, not while the um, the irons hot." She replied with a hint of sarcasm.

I walked over to the kettle and popped it on. Emily sighed loudly, over exaggeratingly.

"Seen you're having one, I might as well join you. Milk with two sugars please." She said as she walked around the bench and sat up on one of the stools.

I nodded and pulled two coffee mugs from the cupboard and retrieved the milk from the refrigerator.

"So… what time are you leaving?" I asked a little nervously.

"About 10ish. I still have to pack and what not. I can't be bothered doing it tonight." She replied.

"Pack? Where… where are you going?"

Emily gave me a stern look to say "Don't push your luck" so I didn't.

"I mean, like are you okay for money?"

"Yes." She nodded. "I'm fine. Thank you."

I simply nodded and started to make the coffees. I passed Emily her mug and when she took a sip, I couldn't help but watch her. My legs went to jelly when she groaned softly and licked her lips.

"You can still make a decent cuppa." She commented. "It's hard to find someone like that." She winked.

(What is she trying to do?)

I cleared my throat before taking a sip of my own. I took a smoke from the packet of cigarettes that were sitting on the bench and offered one to Emily. She smiled and took one, put it her lips and like the whipped little puppy I am, I immediately leaned forward and lit the smoke for her.

"So, Lia… is she any good?" Emily blurted out.

She picked the timing right didn't she? I was sipping on coffee and fucking almost choked to death. I had to bolt over to the kitchen sink.

(What the fuck?)

"Eh… um…" I coughed.

Emily thought it was hilarious. All she did was laugh.

"We're both adults Naomi… and I must admit I am curious. I know we were together but you were never the type to have a girlfriend… there must be something that kept you around?"

Oh-kay… Now I know she's trying to wind me up. She knows exactly what to do. Fine, I'll play along.

"She's very good." I responded, wiping the remainder of coffee from my mouth.

Emily smirked and lifted herself slightly off the chair, leaning closer towards me.

"Is that why you're down here with me drinking coffee instead of up there making love to her?" Emily whispered looking briefly towards the roof where mine and Lia's bedroom was.

(Hmm, good point.)

Emily slid off of the stool and walked around the bench towards me. I was frozen and had no idea what to expect. After all this time, she was still able to bring me to my knees just by looking at me a certain way. She stepped into my personal space, forcing me back slowly with the bench digging into my back. She looked me up and down, placing her hand under my shirt and stroking my stomach tenderly.

"She can't satisfy you like the way I do." Emily whispered, kissing my neck softly.

(Fuck… Shit… FUCK)

"No matter how hard she tries… you will always seek it elsewhere, won't you?" Emily continued, slipping her hand down the front of my pants, resting her hand there.

"And I feel bad for her, I really do… having a girlfriend who can't seem to keep it in her pants."

I grabbed Emily's hand and pushed her back slightly. She was smirking.

"What are you doing?" I asked somewhat aggressively. "What the fuck was that?"

Emily shrugged looking uninterested all of a sudden.

"It just makes me wonder how someone after a three year relationship could jump into bed with someone else so quickly."

I squinted.

"It was you I fucking jumped into bed with." I replied.

"Oh I know… How could I forget? Especially the part when I woke up alone."

"I had to work Emily, you know that?"

"It didn't occur to you that maybe you should have woken me? Oh that's a silly question. Of course it didn't. As long as you get what you want, it doesn't matter about anyone else, does it hun?"

I stepped closer to her absolutely furious.

"What the fuck is this Emily? One minute you act as if you don't give a flying fuck about me and the next you're acting like some jealous fucking girlfriend."

"But you see Naomi; I'm not your girlfriend. Lia is… you should remember that."

(I'm fucking confused.)

"So you were just toying with me now?" I asked with my eyebrow raised.

"No, I was just proving a point. You're so quick to let someone else seduce you… why are you even with her?"

"Emily… I don't know how many fucking times I need to tell you… you are not just someone else to me. You never were. I fucking love you and you know that."

"Loving me will get you nowhere Naomi but if you don't love Lia… you should let her go."

"Yeah okay… I see how it is. It's okay for you to fucking interfere with my life but God forbid I fucking ask you how your day was… Bit like callin' the kettle black innit Ems?"

She didn't reply. She just stared at me for a long moment and walked back around to the other side of the bench and sat down on the stool.

"So what… that's it? You have nothing else to say?" I asked.

"No, not really." She replied shrugging again. "You say you love me yet you have done nothing about it. Do you really think having Lia and me at the same time would work? Are we all supposed to live as one big happy fucking family? You have her on the week days and fuck me on the weekends?" She replied.

I looked at her quite disgusted and in complete and utter shock.

"You know what Emily? I don't think I would even want to fucking be with you." I said, pausing and looking her up and down. "You're nothing like the girl I fell in love with. I don't even know you."

Emily smiled sarcastically.

"Finally, you're starting to realise… You need to get over what we once had. It's buried in the past." Emily's eyes grew dark. "It's staying there." She stated.

I stared at her for long moment. Angry, hurt, confused, anxious and every other negative fucking emotion you can think of. I was feeling them all but the way I work; it's the anger that pokes through. It rises and overshadows anything else I am feeling. I put my hand into the pocket of my pants and pulled out my wallet, taking out a total of 50 pounds.

"Here." I said throwing the notes on top of the bench in front of her. "I fucked you for what… two and a half hours yeah?" I stared at her in anger, my eyes wide and my stare hard. "Keep the fucking change." I said as I walked off mumbling "Fucking call girl" to myself.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" Emily said. I heard the chair scrap violently against the floorboards and then heard her storm her way over towards me. She slapped me at the back of the head and pushed me hard. I turned around to face her.

"Fuck-ing call-girl." I repeated slowly. I stood up straight and raised my eyebrow. "That's what you are innit? A two pound slag ridin' all sorts of strange dick all over fucking London." I yelled.

**SLAP**

"How dare you fucking speak to me like that you fucking prick." She said shocked.

"Truth hurts huh?" I simply replied.

She didn't say anything.

"Don't act like you're offended. I know what you've been doin'. Openin' your legs to anyone willing to pay… fucking slut."

(Okay Naoms… I know you're angry about the whole situation but do you really think speaking this way is going to help… you need to cool it. You're being fucking horrible.)

"You gonna cry now Ems?"

There was no reply.

"Aw, go on… let the tears fall. Blame me for how your life turned out. Go on, I'm waiting. Tell me how it's my fault that you make a living lying on your fucking back getting fucked into next week."

I saw Emily's jaw clench when I taunted her. I saw the look in her eye change and right before she did it, I knew what was coming. I could have stepped away, I could have blocked it and avoided it but I didn't. Deep down I knew I deserved it. I was angry. I was fucking furious with how she had been treating me since she had been here like I was just some toy and shitting all over what we used to have. It was fucking special and she couldn't give two fat fucks about it. I had bottled my anger up inside. I tried to be patient with her. I tried my best to help her and show her I still fucking cared but all my efforts had gone unnoticed. She continued to play with me, she continued to shut me out, she continued with the hot and cold bullshit and it had taken me up to this point to finally snap. It was wrong, the things I said. Regardless if it was the truth, it could have been said a lot nicer. I let her punch me. She got me good too, right in the mouth. I stumbled back and dropped to my knees dizzy as all fuck, feeling the blood from my cut lip run down my chin and onto my shirt. I don't know why but I started to chuckle to myself like a lunatic as I used the back of my hand to wipe the blood away.

(Where did she learn to punch like that? It was a fucking beauty.)

"FUCK YOU NAOMI." She screamed. I heard a light switch upstairs and knew straight away that Lia had gotten up out of bed.

"Love you too Ems." I called out to her as she stormed off towards her bedroom, sobbing to herself.

"Oh my God… Naomi, what happened?" Lia said panicked as she walked down the stairs hurriedly.

She kneeled down and lifted my head and followed the blood to find where it was coming from. She quickly stood back up and ran upstairs to get a towel. When she returned she placed it on my cut lip and told me to put pressure on it.

"Did Emily do this?" She asked in an angry tone.

"It's okay…"

Lia cut me off.

"I'm going to kill her."

(WHOA what the fuck?)

Lia got up and stormed her way through the kitchen towards Emily's room.

"EMILY." She yelled out.

(OH FUCK MY LIFE)

I got up quickly and ran behind Lia in an attempt to catch up but Lia had already forced her way into Emily's room. Emily was standing there, her mascara smudged around her eyes and I felt tightness within my chest upon seeing her like that.

"You fucking bitch… how dare you?" Lia yelled at Emily. She raised her hand and went to hit her but I couldn't just stand there and watch that happen. No matter what I said earlier in anger, I still loved her. I still cared. I couldn't watch her get hurt by anyone. Not even Lia. I stepped forward and grabbed Lia's top and pulled her back as she was in mid swing. Emily's eyes were closed, waiting for the punch to connect but it never did. I wrapped my arms tightly around Lia's waist as she struggled to get free. I had never seen this side of Lia before. It was a shock. She had never been violent to anyone. Not while we've been together.

"Let me go Naomi." She demanded.

Emily peeked through one eye, wondering why she didn't feel the pain from a blow to the face and then opened the other when she saw why. She didn't speak; she just stared at Lia and me. The look in her eyes was vacant and disconnected.

"Calm down." I whispered into Lia's ear. "It was my fault hun…"

"I will not calm down. She has been nothing but fucking trouble since she has been here."

(Huh? Emily hasn't done anything to Lia... it's only been to me and done in private.)

I didn't let go of Lia. I was too scared to. As I said before, I had never seen her THIS ropable before so I didn't know what to expect from her.

"Naomi… let me go." She said in a calmer voice. I was thinking maybe she was trying to trick me so when I let her go, I made sure that I was in between the two.

Lia went for Emily again and thank fuck I was switched on because she would have got her too. The way she pushed me out of the way would have given her all the access she needed had I not anticipated her move. I caught her and pushed her back towards the door.

"I fucking told you Naomi… I told you she would bring trouble into this home."

"Lia, relax… it was my fault what happened. She didn't mean it." I said in Emily's defence.

Lia scoffed.

"She needs to go…" Lia paused and turned her angry gaze to Emily. "Pack your things and leave."

"NO… wait." I turned to Emily pleadingly, begging her with my eyes to not listen to Lia. This had gone way out of hand. I faced Lia when Emily didn't move and do what Lia had said.

"Babe, please… calm down okay?" I said as soothingly as I possibly could.

"STOP telling me to calm down. I want her out of this house Naomi. NOW." Lia yelled.

Lia turned and opened Emily's drawers and started taking Emily's neatly folded clothes out roughly, throwing them on the bed. I took hold of Lia's arms.

"Lia… stop it… Leave 'em. We'll talk about this in the morning when everyone is calmer." I said as she struggled to get free.

Lia started shaking her head.

"I want her out now. Right fucking now."

"Lia…"

"Don't fucking "Lia" me…" She growled angrily. "I know what's been going on. Do you really think I'm that fucking stupid Naomi? I wash your fucking clothes. As if I wouldn't have recognised the button I found in Emily's room."

(Oh oh)

"Where's the shirt Naomi?"

"I…"

**SLAP**

"AH Jesus fuck." I yelled in pain after she hit me in the same spot Emily had ten minutes ago.

"How could you do that to me?" Lia said, breaking down into tears.

"I'm… I…"

(FUCK NAOMI… spit it out)

"AND YOU… what kind of a person comes into another's home and…" Lia paused and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. "You're a home wrecker Emily. You did this on purpose. You knew Naomi was still in love with you and you fucking took advantage of the situation. You don't even care do you?" Lia asked.

Emily stayed silent.

"She should have left you on the street where she fucking found you."

Lia sighed.

"How can you wake up every morning and smile in my face Emily? How do you live with yourself?"

"Naomi came onto me." Emily replied dryly.

Was Emily really trying to destroy my fucking life? Did she hate me that fucking much? I know I made a mistake when I slept with her and was unfaithful to Lia but I fucking loved her. I know it was wrong and whatever happens is my own fault but Emily just has to twist the fucking knife in too. Stabbing me wasn't enough.

"ANY FUCKING WONDER… I see how you behave around her. I'm not fuck-ing blind."

"ALRIGHT." I yelled. "SHUT THE FUCK UP… please."

"I want you out too." Lia whispered as her voice cracked with emotion.

"But…"

"I can't even look at you without feeling sick. I want you out Naomi."

"This is my fucking house. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Then I'll leave." She said, turning around to leave the room.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"No."

"Get off me." She said, pushing me away.

"It's me or fuck-ing her Naomi." She screamed, pointing in Emily's direction.

(Oh fucking hell… don't make me choose. Please don't make me fucking choose)

I looked down at my feet unable to speak. I suppose this was unavoidable. It was going to happen sooner or later wasn't it? I didn't want it to be like this. I was hoping it could have been sorted out in a better way but I guess when people are hurt and angry, this is what happens ey? This is what it comes to. Lia pushed me again.

"Chose Naomi… you can't have us both."

I sighed heavily knowing it was a lose/lose situation for me. I didn't love Lia, not the way I should have and Emily I loved to death but she didn't want me. I took in a few deep breaths before I spoke. I looked up and glanced at Lia and then slowly turned my head and looked over at Emily…

"Emily… I…"

I paused unable to speak any further.

(Come on Naomi… you need to man up babe.)

I sighed again.

"Emily… I don't want you to leave." I announced.

I turned back to Lia.

**SLAP**

(URGH stop hitting me)

"Lia, I'm… I'm sorry… I love her." I confessed, rubbing my cheek.

"You're really going to throw away a three and a half year relationship over a tart you used to date back in high school? What the hell is wrong with you? She doesn't even want you."

"Don't call her that." I said softly.

"Are you serious Naomi? I heard the two of you arguing. She's a fucking hooker."

She looked over my shoulder to look at Emily and then back at me.

"You better get yourself tested. God knows what she's given you."

"Then I suppose you should get yourself tested too Lia. Whatever I may have given Naomi, you would surely have it by now." Emily interrupted, rolling her eyes.

Lia completely ignored Emily.

"Did you ever love me Naomi?" Lia asked looking broken and shattered.

I stroked her face tenderly, brushing her hair away from her face.

"I did and… I still do Lia…"

She cut me off.

"Just not the same way you love her." Lia said pursing her lips.

I sighed.

"I'm sorry hun… it has nothing to do with you. I…"

"Leave it. I don't want to hear anymore." Lia said, backing away to the door. "Let me get a bag and I'll…"

"No, don't… it's late. Stay. You have nowhere to go." I said worriedly.

Lia looked over at Emily when she spoke.

"You should have thought about that before you decided to jump into bed with her." She said, walking off and leaving the room.

Emily moved and started folding the clothes Lia had chucked on the bed in a messy heap.

"It would never have worked out anyway." She said flatly.

"You don't fucking know that Emily. If you hadn't have come back into my fucking life, none of this would be happening." I snapped.

"I didn't put a gun to your head Naomi. You were more than willing to fuck me."

"DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT. FUCK"

I hated her saying that. I never fucked her. What the fuck is wrong with everyone? I'm not fucking perfect. I'm far from it but Jesus fucking Christ… everyone around me is truly fucked in the head. I'm not the fucking crazy one, it's everyone else.

"I don't give a fuck if you feel nothing for me but you know I love you. I've tried to fucking help you and get you back on your fucking feet and all you can do is treat me like a dead set cunt. Fuck you Emily. Stay, go whatever. I don't fucking care." I yelled walking out and slamming the door shut.

(Fuck this shit.)

I walked over into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Ouzo and walked out to the garage, swigging from the bottle heavily. My nerves were shot and I was fucking on edge. Not my best idea to drink and drive but I couldn't give a flying fuck right now.

_**Ring Ring… Ring ri…**_

"Angel… I'm comin' over."

* * *

><p>By the time I got to Angel's, I was already out of it. I was sculling that Ouzo like it was water on the drive over. When I pulled into her driveway, her fucking letterbox walked out in front of me. I ran the fucking thing over. It was he's fault. He should have watched where he was going… I just sat in the car wondering where I was. I had seemed to have forgotten.<p>

"You fucking idiot." I heard Angel say.

I turned to face her, thankful I knew someone out here. It was dark, cold and the world was a scary place.

"Angel!" I said, grabbing her and pulling her into the car, squeezing her tight. "Aren't I… I'm glad to see you." I said beaming from ear to ear. I frowned suddenly. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"Eh, I fucking live here, idiot."

She pulled back with her hands on her hips, glaring at me. She reached forward and grabbed my ear, pulling me out of the car. I landed on my knees, Angel kicking me right up the arse.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She yelled. "Get up… get in the fucking house now you stupid twat."

I was seeing double and found myself having a great deal of difficulty finding my footing. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get up. It set me into a fit of giggles as I rolled onto my back somehow still clutching the bottle of Ouzo. Angel sighed and leant down, grabbing my chin with her hand and tilting my head. I think she was checking my cut lip. Once she had given my lip a good checking over, she just stared down at me with a look I couldn't read. I just couldn't help but break into song, Italian accent and all.

"What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect. What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad? It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place. Ah, shaddap-a you face!"

I burst out in hysterical laughter when she looked at me like I had finally gone completely fucking mental. She pulled me up by the arm and literally dragged me up onto my feet and escorted me inside her house. I felt really dizzy by the sudden movement and I think she noticed because she dropped me onto her couch and ripped my shoes off, pushing me back so I was laying down.

"Sleep it off yeah." She said angrily.

I reached up and pulled her back right as she went to walk off with her almost falling on top of me.

"We… your… the letterbox… Angel… I killed him. I didn't mean it…" I slurred terribly. "He was a fine… ch…ch… chap. He deserves a de… decent burial." I hiccupped.

"You're fucked Naomi… go to sleep." Angel replied annoyed.

She walked off down the hallway and came back a few moments later with a pillow and blanket. She put the pillow roughly under my head and then spread the blanket over the top of me. She disappeared again and during that time I had managed to get up and head over to her stereo player and turned it on.

"NAOMI… Jesus fucking Christ. It's 1.30am you dickhead." She said pushing me out of the way to turn off the CD player. She dragged me back to the couch and forced me to lie down again.

"Don't move until it's light outside." She said seriously. "I fucking mean it."

"What's up… up your arse? You used to b… be fun."

Angel shook her head.

"You know what's up my arse Naomi? Fucking you."

"Ewwww" I replied.

"No, I'm fucking serious Naoms. Driving in this condition was fucking stupid. You could have killed yourself."

"OH but I didn't coz I'm awesome." I grinned.

Angel ignored my comment and put the blanket back over me.

"Don't move." She said pointing her finger at me.

I snapped my jaw pretending to bite her finger with a small growl. She raised her eyebrow and gave me a stern look.

"Ooooh scary." I said pretending to shiver.

Angel rolled her eyes and walked off again to return with a bucket. She placed it next to me and made sure I understood that if I needed to chuck, it was to be done IN the bucket. Not around it, not beside it, not under it but IN it. I nodded understanding fully.

"One… two… Freddy's comin' for you… three, four better lock your door… five…"

"Shut the fuck up Naomi… you know I fucking hate that song. God… just, just go to sleep okay?"

"Five, six grab a crucifix… seven eight gonna stay up late… nine, ten…"

"Stop it Naoms… Goodnight."

"Never sleep again." I quickly added followed by an evil laugh.

"URGH." Angel said as she turned the light off and went back to bed.

I laid there in the dark with my cheery self starting to fade away as I thought about the events that brought me here. Thank fuck I was out of it though because as the seconds went by, I found myself drifting off to sleep. I didn't fight it. I knew better. The last thing I wanted or needed to think about was what had happened. I knew I would have to face it in the morning when I woke up but for now; I needed to forget even if it was for only a couple of hours…

* * *

><p>I woke up and attempted to open my eyes feeling rather groggy. Angel I was sure was trying to kill me when she decided to open the curtains all the way so the sun would be right on my fucking face. I swear, my eyeballs felt like they had fucking disintegrated.<p>

"Fucks sake." I mumbled as I swung my legs over the edge of the couch and sat up, rubbing my eyes.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel the need to chuck at all but fuck did my head hurt. It was pounding like a motherfucker.

"Good morning." I heard Angel call out from the kitchen.

"Yeah." I simply replied.

I could smell eggs and bacon in the air and I just knew she would force me to eat it.

"Breakfasts ready."

I groaned as I stood up and stretched, making my way slowly over to the kitchen and sitting on the chair closest to the back door. She had opened it and the crisp morning air was quite refreshing and made me feel ten times better. She placed a coffee in front of me and went back over to the bench and collected a plate with toast, bacon, eggs and a grilled tomato.

"Eat up… it'll make you feel better." She said.

She sat down across from me, sipping on her coffee.

"So, are you going to tell me why you arrived at my house in the state you were in?" She asked curiously.

I sighed heavily as I took a small bite of toast and then sipped some coffee. She was right; I was starting to feel better even if I had to force it down.

"We broke up." I said flatly.

Angel gasped.

"What? Why? What happened?"

I didn't say anything. I mean I was going to but she didn't give me a chance to collect my thoughts.

"What did you do?" she asked accusingly.

There was no point in beating around the bush.

"I cheated on her."

**WHACK**

"You idiot. What were you thinking?"

"I don't know." I said depressingly, rubbing my head right where Angel hit me.

"I fucking knew it. It was David wasn't it? You fucked him."

I rolled my eyes at her. Seriously, out of all people she chooses David?

"No, it wasn't actually. It was Emily."

Angel gasped again.

"Oh… well… um… Naomi, that still doesn't make it right."

"I know that Ang. I know. I fucked up."

"So like… what now?" She asked hesitantly.

"Lia left. She asked me to choose…"

"Wait a minute… she was actually willing to forget your indiscretion?"

"I dunno… I think so." I replied as I took another bite of my toast.

I looked up at Angel due to her silence.

"You chose Emily didn't you?" She asked.

"It didn't really happen like that but yeah, I guess I did."

"And what? You and Emily are together now?"

I shook my head.

"No… she hates me. I just didn't want her to leave."

"Well that was fucking dumb, wasn't it Naomi? You chose Emily who doesn't give a fuck about you over Lia… what the fuck were you thinking?"

"I don't love her Ang… It would be wrong of me to pretend that I did. I can't love her the way she wants me to. I had to stop being selfish. I had to let her go."

"You're only saying this because you think you have a shot with Emily, don't you?"

I shook my head.

"No… it just took Emily to come back into my life to realise I could never love anyone the way I love her.

I picked up the fork that Angel had placed on a napkin on the table and started digging into the scrambled eggs she had made. She had turned into quite the little cook. They were delicious.

"These are really good."

"Don't change the subject." She paused and gave me a quick smile. "I'm glad you like them."

"Can we like maybe give it a rest for this morning? I just need some time to sort it all out in my head." I asked.

"You need to figure out what you're going to do Naoms. This is all fucked."

"I don't have to do anything. It is what it is." I said

"So… you're not going to try and get Lia back?" Angel asked.

I shook my head.

"No, I've wasted enough of her time don't ya think? She wants marriage, kids, the white picket fence and all that. I don't want that. I can't string her along anymore. I've done it for long enough. I know I've hurt her and went about shit the wrong way but… at the end of the day; this was gonna happen sooner or later."

(Emily was right. It would never have worked anyway.)

Angel sighed.

"Are you going to at least talk to her? She'd be shattered that you slept with Emily."

"I will just… not yet." I replied.

Angel nodded her head looking at me strangely as I cut into the grilled tomato on my plate.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just… I dunno Naoms. I don't trust her."

"Lia?"

"No, Emily. I think she's hiding something."

(She is hiding something. Don't you worry about that Angel…)

I acted dumb. I know this was Angel I was talking to and call me stupid but I don't know. I felt the need to protect Emily's honour. I didn't want anyone to know what she was getting up to. David knew but he was the kind of guy that lived by 'Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil.' So I knew I could trust him to keep it to himself. I didn't want anyone thinking the worst of Emily without understanding the real reason as to why she was doing the things she was doing. Hell, I didn't even understand because she wouldn't tell me anything about her.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I don't even know what I mean but she's so fucking secretive. I know she's hiding something. I can sense that shit a mile away." Angel replied.

Not wanting Angel to dig further and actually find out that Emily was a hooker I tried to brush it off as something else.

"I think you're looking into it too much Ang. She's pissed off at us both for leaving her yeah? Of course she's gonna wanna keep shit to herself. Anyway, it's her prerogative. What she does in her private time is none of our business is it?"

Angel looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. It's just irritating ya know? We haven't seen her for that long and she's like right there and won't even talk to us. I miss her. We we're good friends back in the day. It's like she doesn't even remember that."

"Don't I know it." I replied, lighting a smoke.

"Oh shit, sorry Naoms. It would suck even more for you… She was your girlfriend."

"Thanks for reminding me." I replied sarcastically.

"You know what I mean. Don't get stroppy with me. I'm only saying."

"Yeah I know… it's shit but what can we do? If she doesn't want to let us in, then I spose it's just bad luck for us ey? She's not the same girl we used to know Ang. I don't think she ever will be."

I stood up and butted out my smoke in a nearby ashtray.

"I'm gonna head off yeah. Thanks for breakfast."

"Naoms, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied.

She frowned in concern but didn't say anything further. I went and put my shoes on and collected my jacket, walking to the front door.

"Naomi, last night… Don't ever do that again okay? If you're like that and you want to go out, you call me. I'll pick you up." She said sternly referring to my drink driving. It was pretty dumb. I know. I could have killed either myself or some innocent driver getting home late from work to be with his or her family.

"Yes mum." I replied rolling my eyes.

"I'm fucking serious. It was dangerous; it was reckless and just plain fucking stupid."

"Okay, okay… relax. I'll call you. Promise." I said kissing her cheek quickly before I stepped outside.

"I'll see you at work." I called out as I jumped into the car, taking off quickly. I was dying for a nice hot shower and fresh change of clothes. It had been a long fucking night…

* * *

><p>When I got home, I jogged into the house hurriedly and went up the stairs. I stopped, frozen in my tracks when I saw the bed Lia and me had shared. Although she had only actually been living with me for under a year, she slept over quite a lot so you could say we shared the same bed throughout our whole relationship. I did feel fucking terrible for how things turned out. I know I should have restrained myself and not slept with Emily. I knew that I should have sat Lia down and discussed it properly. What I was feeling etc. but sometimes things just happen. Right or wrong, sometimes we just get swept up in the moment and go with the flow. It's not until after the deed is done do we reflect on what just happened and feel fucking guilty and regretful about it.<p>

I know I am in no position to justifying my actions. I cheated, plain and simple but and look, I'm not saying this makes it better because for Lia it doesn't. It's probably worse actually when I think about it. Sleeping with someone that I have loved since I was 16 but it wasn't like I went looking for it. I didn't go out to a club and start flirting with some random, go home with them and fuck them senseless and then do it all over again the next night. It was heat of the moment. It was with someone I had deep fucking feelings for and I got carried away. Like I said though, it doesn't make it better does it? It was still fucked. I know that. If Lia hates me, I don't blame her. She has every right to. I hate myself for what I done. I genuinely care for her ya know? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her like that. I know had I of sat her down proper and spoke to her about it before anything had happened between Emily and me, she still would have been hurt but it would have been the decent thing to do, the right thing to do. It would seem no matter how hard I try to be a decent human fucking being; I still manage to fuck things up on an epic scale. I guess that part of Naomi never died. It's alive and well after all these years thinking I had left it all behind in the past. I was wrong.

I sighed heavily as I remembered the look of hurt Lia had in her eyes when I asked Emily to stay. I could almost feel her pain in that moment. I wish I could take it away. I wish all that hurt was for me to feel so I could spare her. I really did…

I slowly started to get myself undressed and walked into the ensuite connected to our, I mean my bedroom and washed my teeth while I waited for the water in the shower to heat up to a satisfactory temperature. I wanted to feel the heat on my skin. I needed to feel it. I felt dirty for what I had done. As much as I loved Emily, the act itself was something that was I dunno the word, fucking unholy comes to mind. I wasn't worried about Emily and how she was feeling because I was pretty sure for her, that morning I made love to her was just a fuck so she wouldn't give a shit about it. It meant nothing to her. In her mind it was a 'no strings attached' situation, much like all her other clients except I was given a freebie.

(What are you saying Naomi? Must you be so fucking mean about it?)

I shook the thought away. It pissed me off, I admit it. I couldn't handle the fact that Emily used her body in such a way. It's a far cry from how I found her ey? She was a sweet and innocent girl untouched by anyone because she didn't trust people enough to give herself to them completely. Not until I came along. She trusted me and I fucking cherished the moment it happened. Means fuck all to her now though. I'm a nobody and it fucking kills me inside… How does someone so fucking pure end up fucking people for money? How the fuck does that happen? I don't even want to know if I'm honest. I know the answer will be a fucking horrible one and because it concerns Emily, I would probably cry like a fucking baby and embarrass myself. I would just fucking keel over and die. Shrivel away like a leaf on an autumn day…

I finished up in the shower and dried myself off. I looked in the mirror and what was looking back at me was someone who looked twice my age with a face that was filled with stress and worry. It was fucking scary. It was like looking at my future self. In my 40's, crippled with worries and looking hard and old before my time. No longer the fresh faced, carefree and vibrant young Naomi Campbell. I had to turn away. It was unnerving. I'll try looking in there again tomorrow; hopefully what stares back at me isn't dead looking.

I walked out of the ensuite and into the bedroom and grabbed a clean suit from the closet, a fresh bra and a pair of knickers from my drawers and got dressed. I changed my mind. I wasn't feeling like grown up and responsible Naomi. I didn't think I could pull off the suit today so I went over and pulled out a pair of dark blue flare jeans, my Vans and zip up hoodie. A slouch beanie to save me having to look in the mirror again to do my hair. Make up, although I did wear it I couldn't be fucked with it today. I didn't even care that I looked like a mess. I've always been pedantic with my appearance but I just didn't care. Not today.

"Jesus, you scared the fuck out of me."

"I've just come to get some of my things." Lia said flatly. "Sorry, I thought you would have left for work already."

I watched as Lia walked over to the walk in robe with her head down and start going through her clothing and taking what she needed. She pulled down a bag from a top shelf and roughly stuffed the clothing into the bag. She then went over to the chest of drawers and grabbed a handful of her underwear…

"That's all I need for now. Thank you." Lia said as she walked out of the room.

I ran up behind her.

"Wait… please." I said looking at her pleadingly.

Lia sighed but she stopped.

"Stay… like um…" I paused to recollect my thoughts so I could spit it out. "Have a coffee or, or something… so we can like… so we can talk?" I finished off nervously.

(Coffee? Oh yeah Naomi, well done)

"Is she here?" Lia asked with her eyebrow raised.

I shook my head quickly.

"No."

"Okay." She said as she continued to walk down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Lia placed her bag on the floor beside the end of the bench and took a seat at the kitchen table. I switched the kettle on and took out two mugs and got them ready.

"Where…" I stopped and sighed. It was difficult for me to even fucking talk. Jesus. "Where did you stay last night?"

"In my car." Lia said looking at her hands that were rested on the table.

I quickly prepared the hot drinks and took them over to the table. I placed one in front of Lia and then sat down with my own.

"Stay here." I said hoping she would accept my offer.

Lia scoffed.

"So I can listen to you and Emily fuck like rabbits? Thank you, but no thank you." She replied.

"Lia, it isn't like that."

"Isn't it?" She asked looking up to face me.

"No, it's not. It happened once. One time…"

"Don't lie to me Naomi."

"Lia, I swear… it happened once."

(What about the time you stopped Naoms, hmm? Gonna tell her about that?)

"Wait… it almost happened a second time but I stopped it."

"Yeah? Why is that?" Lia asked sarcastically curious.

(Are you gonna tell her the truth?)

I sighed heavily not wanting to say but I couldn't lie to her. She asked the question. It's only fair I be honest.

"Because Emily…" I stopped not able to say it.

"Because Emily what?" She repeated.

"She wanted a meaningless shag. I couldn't do it." I admitted.

"Well at least you're honest. I have to give you that." Lia said taking a sip of her coffee.

We both stayed silent for what seemed like forever.

"Lia, I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to turn out like this."

"But it did, didn't it? I wonder Naomi, how many other times did you fucking cheat on me?" Lia said, her voice rising above normal level.

"I never cheated on you Lia. This was the first time." I responded quickly.

Lia's eyes started to well up with tears.

"How could you… how could you do this to me Naomi?" She said heart broken. "How could you cheat on me like I meant nothing to you?" She added, breaking down in tears.

I got up and sat beside her and tried to wrap her in my arms but she pushed me away.

"Don't… please don't." She sniffled.

She made an attempt to wipe away the tears but they kept getting replaced with new ones.

"I can't even be angry with you, do you know that? I've tried to hate you for what you've done but I fuck-ing can't."

(Huh?)

"She was your first love. How can I possibly compete with that?"

Lia sighed and took a shaky sip from her coffee mug.

"I saw the devastation in your eyes when you saw her that night at the club. You were shattered…"

"Lia…"

"No, let me finish."

I stayed silent.

"Even these last months since she's been here, the way you look at her. I knew deep down that you were still in love with her. You never looked at me like that. Never… I didn't want to believe it. I really didn't. I didn't want to lose you. If only you knew how much I love you, you could maybe understand."

Lia sniffled before speaking further.

"But I guess you do when I think about it. I imagine the love you have for Emily is the same I have for you." She said breaking down again.

This time when I tried to comfort her she didn't resist. She let me. I whispered that I was sorry. I didn't know what else to say… When she got herself under control she softly nudged me out of the way so she could sit upright. She breathed in deeply a few times, trying to keep the tears at bay. I had never felt so fucking bad in my entire life. It was horrible to see her so fucking hurt and heartbroken. I didn't know what to do or how to make her feel better, even if it was just a tiny little bit.

I took her hand tenderly and hesitantly, not sure if she would pull away or not but she didn't.

"Lia, I want you to stay here until we can sort something out."

"I…No, I can't Naomi. Not with the two of you here…"

"She's not here. She's gone away for the week. It'll just be us, you and me. I can't have you sleeping in your car hun… please?" I pleaded. "I'll sleep on the couch okay? You can have our… you can have the bed. Please Lia..."

She stayed silent.

"I still care about you, you know? That hasn't changed. I still love you. There's no way I'm letting you leave to go sleep in your car. I can't do it. I'm sorry." I said.

There was still silence.

"Lia, please…"

"Okay, I'll stay until something else is arranged." She sighed.

I displayed a small smile and kissed the back of hand tenderly.

"Thank you." I whispered.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading guys. I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time, take it easy <strong>

**Lyrics:**

**Leader Of The Pack - The Shangri-Las**

**I Love Rock N Roll – Joan Jett & The Blackhearts**

**Shaddap You Face – Joe Dolce**

"**One, Two Freddy's comin' for you." No idea on it's true title and who sings it but it's from A Nightmare On Elm Street series and is sung by a group of creepy little kids playing jump rope. It's a parody of the nursery rhyme "One, Two Buckle My Shoe" but waaaaay better muahahahaha-ha**


	12. Chapter 12

**The Lives We Lead**

**Chapter XII**

**A/N: Hey everyone, how are we all? **

**First off I am so so very sorry that it has taken me this long to post an update. This year has been extremely hectic and I haven't really had the time or space to sit down proper and write. For those who might be worried if I am going to abandon this story, I can promise you that I won't be. I find it impossible to start something and not finish it so fear not... no matter how long it may take for me to update, I will not forget about this story. I will complete it. **

**Thank you all for your lovely reviews and PM's. They mean a lot to me and they are all very much appreciated :)**

**AND**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone... well, I forget, not everyone is in my time zone lol but still Merry Christmas for tomorrow if you are still waiting for the 25th :) I hope everyone has an awesome day! I'll get in early and wish you all a very happy and exciting New Year too.**

**Also I would like to thank Beck89. Merry Christmas turtle lol. **

* * *

><p>It had been the most awkward fucking two weeks of my whole entire life, the two weeks that had just come and gone. Lia had agreed to stay which caused me a great deal of relief but at the same time it was I admit, a little awkward. Sleeping in your car isn't the safest thing to do in London or anywhere really but it was like walking on eggshells around her. It was mainly me feeling like that, not knowing how to act or talk since that disaster of a night with Emily. Lia was upset and had her moments of being emotional but we weren't arguing or anything like that. As stupid as this might be, I just didn't know what I should do. Like the second night she stayed, I had come home from work and caught Lia crying on the couch. She had tried to wipe the tears away and get herself under control but you know how these things go, sometimes it's just too hard to fight. I just stood there frozen and watched on like a fucking idiot. I wanted to go over there and sit beside her, give her a hug and what not but at the same time I was thinking that I shouldn't because we'd broken up. I didn't know if it was the right thing to do or if it was appropriate or whatever the fuck I was thinking. Looking back at that, I know it was dumb. I mean she was my girlfriend for 3 and a half years. I should have tried to comfort her. THAT was the right thing to do, wasn't it? Just because we may no longer be together, it didn't mean that I shouldn't try and make her feel better. At least attempt to help her get through it. I'm such a tit sometimes, I really am.<p>

Lia only ended up staying for about four or five days rather than the whole week I had recommended. She had found herself a nice little apartment not far from where her office was. It was in a good location, two bedrooms and lots of space in the kitchen and living areas. In my opinion it was a bit of a steal. For what it had, it was an absolute bargain for the money because we all know how expensive London can be. It was well under market value and a newly established block. The owners wanted to sell quickly so we threw in a ridiculous offer not expecting to get it but obviously you need to start somewhere when you negotiate… but they actually accepted it. It was unreal. I helped her move in and gave her some of the furniture I had to help her furnish the place so at least she could be comfortable until she arranged to get her own things. It was just the basics like a bed, couch, cutlery and all that stuff.

Emily… fuck were things even more awkward when she came back. She came back after the date she had given me and I had thought that maybe she had fucked off for good but one Sunday morning she strolled in as if nothing had happened. She had missed quite a few days of work and didn't even have the decency to tell me that she would be back late which pissed me the fuck off. Forget about the personal shit happening between us… this is work we're talking about. I was irritated about it. Very fucking much so but as I do with anything concerning Emily, I let it slide. We hadn't spoken to each other even though we are under the same roof. The most we've said was a "Hi" in passing but that was it. She did her thing and I did mine…

"You alright boss?" David asked snapping me out of my little day dream.

"Hmm?"

He smiled warmly in my direction and walked over and took a seat in front of my desk.

"You have somethin' on ya mind and you may not know this 'bout me but I'm a good fuckin' listener." He said chuckling.

I couldn't help but giggle. He was just one of those people that could make you laugh no matter what the situation. I have no doubt the bloke could get a smile out of you at a bloody funeral.

"It's nothing…" I said smiling back at him and pausing for a moment. "So, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

He picked up that I didn't want to talk about it and thankfully moved on with the conversation.

"I have some, eh what do ya call it?... Information." He said looking at me seriously.

I frowned due to the change in he's demeanour.

"I believe Emily will be meeting Mr. SAS today at the motel."

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"Oh well ya know… sneaky is my middle name. I heard them talking."

Suddenly curious on what David might have heard, I decided to just ask him straight out. He didn't hesitate to answer.

"Well, he told her that she needed to be there at 3pm sharp. She said something about not wantin' to raise suspicion. She can't be leaving durin' work as often as she has been. He didn't seem to give a fuck 'bout that though. The bloke got frustrated and grabbed her arm and told her if she wasn't there, she could say goodbye to her job."

(That fucking bastard.)

"So obviously she agreed to go?"

David nodded. I looked at the computer and checked the time in the bottom left side of the screen. It was 2.42 pm. I shot up out of my seat and pulled my jacket roughly off of the chair, swinging it around me and putting it on.

"Where are you going?" David asked as he too sat up from his chair.

"I'm going to follow them." I said grabbing my phone and keys. "Do me a favour David… let Angel know I'm stepping out for an hour or two but for fucks sake don't tell her why, okay?"

"Excuse me for sayin' this boss but you'll have to tell her ya self."

I looked at him questioningly.

"If you think for one minute I'm lettin' ya go on ya own, you have another thing comin'." He stated.

I picked up the phone and dialled the extension to the bar area where Angel was working for the day. I couldn't waste time arguing with him.

"Ang… I gotta head out for a couple of hours. Today's shipment's been delayed. I gotta go down and sort it. I'm bringing David with me." I didn't wait for a response before hanging up.

"Come on, let's go." I said to David as I walked out of the office and made my way to the car.

* * *

><p>"There she is." David said, pointing over the road towards Emily as we sat in the car a little ways away from the motel.<p>

I looked over and you would think that I would have been used to the whole thing, wouldn't you? I've known for some time now about Emily's extra-curricular activities and yet every time was like finding out for the first time. My heart sank when I saw her strutting her way towards the entrance of the motel in a pair of hooker boots, a mini skirt and a top that revealed her stomach. There was barely enough material to cover her breasts. Every time the same thing went through my mind.

(What are you doing Emily?)

The voice in my mind was always filled with disappointment and sorrow. It was always low, almost like a whisper and was followed by an inward sigh. I know we're all different and in times of desperation we react differently but it did make me wonder how this had become Emily. I mean if anyone had a chance at selling themselves as a profession, it would have been me but I didn't. No matter how bad things became before Angel had come to London, I always found other ways to get by. Why had Emily just gone for the easy money? It's like she didn't even bother to try and now here we are. She's caught up in all sorts of fucking shit with this fucking SAS low life who rather than sell his own arse, takes something that doesn't even belong to him and makes a profit from it. I never understood that, being a pimp. I know in that kind of life a girl needs protection, someone to look out for them but fuck that. These blokes are fucking scum. Too lazy to get a fucking job so they sell girls. If they want money, maybe they should stand on the fucking street corner and bend over. Fucking cunts, the lot of em.

"Blondie, I see ya gettin' riled up… relax sunshine before you do somethin' a little on the silly side. We're just here to see what happens. No interferin' okay?"

"I'm fine." I said with my stare hard and my sight not moving from the door of room number 9 since Emily had disappeared behind it.

I just couldn't fucking understand it. I knew whatever it was, it was bigger than me. I mean, she was stripping before she walked into my club. You could tell by just watching her dance. She was well and truly experienced which would mean she had a job. It would also mean that she was earning money yet she was still attached to this fucker. Even though I was aware of the fact that Emily had basically done a 180 since I had known her, even now she didn't strike me as the kind of person who would just do what someone else said. There had to be a reason and my gut told me that she didn't just possibly fear this bloke but she was indebted to him whether that be financially or some other way and I couldn't blame her for dropping everything to be at his beck and call. Can anyone blame her for not wanting to be found dead on the side of the road in a ditch somewhere with her throat slit? No, I don't think so not unless you were a cold hearted bitch. It was the only thing that made sense in a fucking mess of a situation. She feared him and she would do whatever he wanted her to. There was no other explanation. I had thought about it day and fucking night and always ended back up at money owed.

I started the car up when I saw Emily and the sick fucker leave the room. She kissed his cheek and walked off back down the road. He stayed standing by his car, watching her with quite a serious look on his face before jumping in and reversing out of the parking space.

"We ready to go boss?" David asked.

I shook my head.

"No…" I simply said as I pulled out and started to follow Emily's nameless pimp.

"Oh I dunno if this is a good idea blondie. We don't know who this bloke is. We could end up in a world of trouble if he spots us." David stated as he pulled the seat belt over him and clicked it into place.

"You don't have to come with me mate. I can let you out here." I said distractingly, my focus on the car that was driven by the one I was following.

I made sure I kept my distance, always allowing 3 or 4 cars to get in between us as I followed. It was a dangerous idea. I didn't know if he was carrying a weapon or what type of guy he was. He may not have a problem in emptying a clip into someone if he felt threatened and that seemed to be not so farfetched when you take into consideration that he was an ex-army bloke gone bad.

"No way Naoms… I'm stuck to ya like glue. Where you go, I go." He replied sternly.

I simply nodded my head as I continued to drive, putting my blinker on to do a right hand turn. As I was the only car behind him now if he looked in his rear view mirror it would be quite obvious I was following so I pulled into someone's driveway and watched him go up to the end of the street. We had been following the fucker for a good 30 minutes now. Surely we were getting close to wherever he was going. I watched as he popped his left blinker on and turned accordingly. I quickly put the car in reverse and floored it down to the end of the street. He was gone.

(FUCK)

I turned left and drove slowly along the road, looking left and right at the several driveways. There was no street he could have turned into due to this particular street being a dead end so he had to of been going to one of these houses. I couldn't see his car parked on the street nor could I see his vehicle parked in any of the driveways. I drove a little further up and the movement of a roller door caught the corner of my eye and just as it was about 3 quarters down, I caught sight of the bastard's number plate. House number 47.

(I got you, you prick.)

I quickly did a uturn.

"David, what time does he usually come into the club?" I asked as I drove back out onto the main road.

"Any time after seven boss… How come? What are you thinkin' of doin'?

"It's okay David. It's all under control."

He stayed silent for a long moment.

"Now hang on… No, I don't think you should be snoopin' around babes. What if he catches ya?" He said, catching on to what I had planned.

"That's where you come in… you're gonna keep an eye on him at the club and let me know when he leaves."

David shook his head quickly.

"No… no Naomi, bad idea babes. You don't know who else is in that house."

"Yeah I do." I said confidently. "A bloke like him, they always live on their own." I replied.

"You can't possibly know that… I'm comin' wiv ya. Don't you dare go wiv out me buttercup... There'll be hell to pay."

"Mate, I need you to be at the club to eyeball the bastard."

"No can do Boss. Sorry but I'm taggin' along whether you like it or not. I'll ask Vinnie to keep an eye out for him."

"You've really become a pain in my arse haven't you David?" I asked.

"… And an archangel lookin' over ya." He said winking.

I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe stand back a bit then ey? Your swords stabbing into my left arse cheek."

David wiggled his eyebrows.

"That ain't my sword hot stuff."

"You are a pervy bastard, aren't you?" I replied chuckling.

"I'll be anythin' you want me to be as long as it keeps ya laughin' hun" He said smiling.

He leaned forward and turned the volume up upon hearing a song he had recognised.

"I haven't heard this one for years… you remember it?"

(Oh no… David.)

I looked at him quickly as if he had lost the plot. I certainly did not expect it.

.

**Well it's early in the morning**

**And my heart is feelin' lonely**

**Just thinkin 'bout you baby**

**Got me twisted in the head…**

.

"David, mate… please… turn this shit off." I said over the music.

He looked over at me, winking and started singing loudly to the chorus of the song and Oh my fucking God could this boy sing. WHOA.

.

**Amor… no es amor (if this ain't love)**

**Then what am I feeling what am I doing wrong**

**Amor... no es amor (if this ain't love)**

**Is this an illusion that I have in my heart…**

.

As much as I fucking hated this song I just couldn't disturb what was going on in the car. I was in disbelief. Have you ever been in a situation where you've heard someone sing a cover of a song and they actually sound way fucking better than the actual artist? This was one of those times. He's voice was strong and smooth… even sweet sounding. I was hypnotised by it.

.

**Now I don't care if you got a man**

**Baby I wish you'd understand**

**'cause I know he can't love you right, quite like I can…**

.

The song finished with me turning down the radio and looking at David completely and totally fucking shocked.

"Not a bad little singer ey?" He chuckled.

"I… um… David… I eh… Whoa. How the fuck did you learn to sing like that?"

He continued to have a chuckle to himself.

"I'm just naturally talented babes." He said grinning.

"What's that on your chin David?" I asked, pointing at my own to show him where it was.

He looked at me seriously and a little bit embarrassed.

"What?"

"You got a bit of bullshit there just under your lip." I replied smirking.

"Oh I'll give ya that one sunshine… you got me." He answered laughing.

(HAHAHA works every time.)

"We gotta do something about your choice in music though mate. It's terrible." I stated shaking my head.

"You really think so?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

(He has an answer… I just know he does.)

"Yeah, I do… it's shocking."

"Well…" he said looking thoughtful. "I would say that I would have to agree with ya on that one but um…"

He paused for a brief moment.

"I can't tell ya how many chicks I pulled singin' it… some fella's too back in my younger days." He said grinning. "They loved it."

"I should have known." I said chuckling.

"Now, onto the good stuff ey?" He announced, leaning forward and changing the station.

.

**Baby!**

**You were always gonna be the one**

**You only ever did it just for fun**

**But you run to paradise…**

.

"Better?" David asked.

"Much." I said grinning. Classic rock… It was always a winner with me.

* * *

><p>David and me got back to the club and it was as if Angel had been literally waiting by the window the whole time until we had returned because she had burst through the back door that quickly, her arms folded and her right foot tapping looking less than impressed. Mind you, I hadn't even stopped rolling into the fucking car space.<p>

"Me thinks you might be in the shit babes." David whispered discreetly.

"Don't I know it." I replied just as quietly.

"So boss…" David said in a normal tone as we got out the car. "I best get back to work. Vinnie's gonna wanna go on break right about now."

(Shifty bastard didn't want to get stuck in the middle of it.)

I nodded towards him and said thanks for the help before he walked away and entered the club via the back staff entrance.

"Are you back on the gear?" Angel said glaring back at me very angrily.

(What the fuck?)

"What?"

"You heard me. Are you using again?"

"What the fuck are you…?"

"Don't fuck with me Naomi. Not today. Answer the fucking question." She said cutting me off.

I stared at her with total confusion. I hadn't used anything in years. Where the hell did she get this shit from?

"Angel, I don't know where you fucking got that from but no. I haven't touched anything for fucking ages."

Angel continued to stare at me… actually; right through me would be a more accurate description.

"You're lying to me." She squinted.

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and sighed loudly.

"I'm NOT back on the gear. How the fuck could you even say that?" I said sounding offended.

AND I was offended, very fucking much so. I had tried so hard to get my life back on track and I did. I actually did it and for what? To be accused that I'm still using when things get hard for me? Is it that people automatically assume that I'm too weak to live life without numbing the pain? Is that what it is? The minute my world goes topsy turvy I ran straight back to the gear? That's fucked. What happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt? What happened to trusting someone when they have earned that trust back? You never really earn that trust back once you fuck up, do you know that? The people around you say they are proud of you and that you've changed for the better and they know you'd never touch the shit again but the moment you may start acting a little differently because you are under stress… just wait for it. Someone will approach you sooner or later and ask you the fucking question. "Are you back on the drugs?" or something very fucking similar. You never gain that trust back no matter what they say. Never…

Angel stayed silent for what seemed like for-fucking-ever.

"Okay, if it's not that… then what the fuck is going on with you?" She asked.

"Nothing you don't already know Angel." I replied in a low voice.

Angel looked around before she came closer and grabbed my arm as if she just realised she was outside. She pulled me gently behind her and back inside the club and headed straight for my office.

"I'm sorry I accused you but I figured if I got you on the spot there was a better chance of you admittin' if you were usin'… or not."

(Yeah, right Angel)

"It's okay. Don't worry about it." I replied.

"I'm serious Naoms."

"Yeah, okay." I said a little too abruptly.

Angel sighed and sat down at my desk. I wandered around the opposite side and took a seat of my own feeling a little pissed off. It was nothing major, it just irritated me slightly.

"I'm just gonna tell ya straight babes." She said looking me dead in the eye. "I'm worried about you."

"There's nothing to worry about Ang." I said shaking my head as I spoke.

"Yeah there is…"

I cut her off.

"No there…"

She cut me off.

"Shut up for a second and just listen to what I have to say." She said.

I rolled my eyes but did as she asked.

"Since Emily has come back on the scene your life has gone to shit. You're in and out of work all fucking day, some days you don't even turn up. You fucked up your relationship with Lia... I hate to say it Naoms but from where I'm sitting you're going backwards hun. It's stressing me the fuck out and you know something? Everything that is going on with you has to do with one person. All your fucking worries and your unpredictable nature as of late has to do with Emily. That is where it stems from. She needs to go."

I stood up quickly and leaned over the desk.

"She's not going anywhere." I said calmly but it was unexpectedly laced with a threatening undertone.

Angel sighed loudly and stood up with an angered stare.

"You're goin' to jeopardise everything we have built for ourselves over her? A girl you don't even fucking know anymore?"

"I'm not jeopardising anything Angel." I simply replied.

"She doesn't love you Naomi. When will you get that through your fucking head? She doesn't GIVE-A-FUCK."

I felt the anger build up inside of me. I wasn't sure if it was because Angel wanted to get rid of Emily or if it was because she just told me something I had already known but secretly wished wasn't true. I stayed silent but glared at Angel in such a way; it earned me a nice little slap across my left cheek.

"Don't you dare look at me like that… I'm trying to help you Naomi. She's destroying your life. She is making you fucking crazy and do you know what the sad thing is? You're letting her."

"Piss off Angel." I said as I walked back around the desk not wanting to discuss the matter any further and heading for the office door.

Angel quickly reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back.

"I never thought I would see the day that Naomi Fucking Campbell let a bitch get to her. Never in a million fucking years."

I snatched my arm back aggressively.

"I'm sick and tired of trying to warn you about her. She's in your fucking head and she's playin' with you. When shit hits the fan and the world around you fucking crumbles, don't say I didn't tell you so. It'll be all on you Naomi. All of it." Angel said, knocking her shoulder into me as she passed to leave the room.

"Hi." Emily said softly, knocking on the side of the door.

"Fuck off Emily." Angel spat as she continued to storm her way towards the main floor of the club.

Emily didn't reply to Angel. Instead she looked down at her feet.

"I'll um… I'll come back later." She said to me, turning herself around.

"No… it's fine. She's just on the rag. Don't worry about her." I lied, leaning back and sitting on the edge of my desk. Emily closed the office door behind her and leaned her back against it. She sighed heavily.

"Naomi… I do…" She paused.

I frowned questioningly.

"What?"

"I do care about you."

"You heard all that?" I asked feeling terribly guilty for some reason.

She nodded slowly.

"I did." She confessed.

I crossed my arms and leaned back further onto the desk looking at Emily intently.

"You certainly have a way of showing it." I replied.

"I know and I'm sorry I've been so on and off but you need to understand that I am not the person you once knew. I know you want me to be and…" she stopped for a moment and looked away as if she was in a faraway place.

"Sometimes I wish I could be but it just isn't going to happen. You need to understand that. I need you to understand that. Whatever ends up happening, I just wanted you to know okay?"

"Yeah… okay. Fine. Duly noted." I replied, my voice sounding more disappointed than I had intended it to be.

"Why are you telling me this now anyway?" I asked with my eyebrow raised and a little on the suspicious side. Angel's words of wisdom still fresh in my mind.

"Seen you and Angel were talking about it I thought it would be a good opportunity to bring it up."

(Oh well that makes sense.)

Silence. That's all there was for a good two minutes. It wasn't a comfortable silence. It was quite an awkward one to be honest. Emily had come to my office for a reason and declaring that she did care for me wasn't that reason and yet here we were, staring at each other with no words spoken. I found myself analysing her. She was still so very fucking beautiful and her eyes in this particular moment belonged to the Emily I had loved all those years ago. They were big and expressive and even now it was a struggle to not be drawn completely in…

"Was there anything else?" I asked, clearing my throat before I spoke. I had to end the little moment I was having before I became completely lost. I knew Angel was right. She was playing with me. I wasn't stupid, I had just hoped that she still had some love left in her that was reserved for me but it was plain to see that she didn't and so I needed to desperately sort my shit out concerning Emily before she drove me completely around the twist. It was becoming unhealthy. I was losing my mind and I was starting to feel as if I had no control anymore and it was scaring me. It really was.

"I… yes there was." Emily replied. "We've run out of Moscato..." She added going straight back to business.

That one word "Moscato" brought back a flood of fucking memories. I might as well just let my mind go. I'll end up in a lunatic asylum but what the fuck? Who cares? At least the things running through my mind while I sit in a corner rocking back and forth in my little designer straight jacket will be equivalent to what I imagine heaven to be like. I would have no idea of the things happening around me because I will be so far inside my own head that when they give me shock treatment, I'd have a fucking smile on face… but then a feeling of sadness swept over me as I was brought back to reality and was thinking about the time when Emily and me had made love for the last time. It was that night we had been drinking Moscato and her bitch mother busted her way through my front door, killing the special moment Emily and me were sharing…

"Naomi?"

(Whoa, you really are losing the plot babes.)

"Eh yeah… okay. I'll run up and get some." I replied distractingly.

Emily pursed her lips as she looked at me oddly and nodded her head once, leaving the office rather quickly.

(Today has been a bad day)

I lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply and enjoying the hit of nicotine. I sat down at my desk and kicked my feet up, leaning back in my chair deep in thought. I found myself thinking about Emily and her little problem concerning the SAS bloke. Maybe it wasn't a problem. Maybe she actually wanted to work for him. It is possible that she enjoyed it and that is the reason as to why she was still fucking people for money. I was contemplating whether or not I should find out more or just drop the whole fucking thing. I mean it really wasn't any of my business was it? What Emily did privately wasn't my concern and the whole thing was making me go mental. I should just leave it. It would probably be the best thing to do. It's not like me and Emily are ever going to be together or anything. We're hardly friends so why is it that I feel the need to protect her? Why do I feel the need to make sure she isn't in something that she can't get out of?

(Because you love her, DUH)

I sighed heavily. It was true. No matter how hard I tried to switch the feelings off, it just wasn't possible. I couldn't do it and it occurred to me that Emily would more than likely be the fucking death of me.

I checked the time and it was coming close to 7 o'clock and guess who walks into my office right on cue.

"Hey David."

"How's it hangin' boss?"

"Down the middle and slightly to the left." I replied.

David grinned and walked further into the room and sat down in front of me.

"SAS bloke is 'ere. He's early today."

I took my legs off of the desk and sat upright, butting my smoke out in the nearby ashtray.

"Well then, I suppose we better get a move on ey? You teed it up with Vinnie?"

"I sure did boss." David replied nodding. "You sure you wanna do this? It could be a bit risky." He added.

"Risky?"

"Babes, the sun don't shine up the same dog's arse every day." David replied.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I said looking at David confused as all fuck.

He laughed.

"You've been quite lucky, followin' Emily then that wanker out there… ya luck is bound to run out sooner or later. You shouldn't push it."

(Oh… Lady luck is a fickle mistress he meant.)

"Yeah, I know." I simply replied as I took my car keys out of the desk drawer. "Ready?"

"Whenever you are boss." David replied.

(Don't forget the moscato…)

"Eh… David. I'll meet you in the car." I said giving him my car keys. "I've just gotta quickly do something before we go."

* * *

><p>David and me got to where we needed to be but I parked the car on the side of the main road just in case anyone was inside the house or if a sticky nosed neighbour was looking through the window when they heard my car pull up. I put my slouch beanie on to cover my peroxided hair because although it was night time, I was well aware that THAT shit almost glowed in the fucking dark. David had borrowed one of my hoodies that I had tossed carelessly into the backseat. It was a little tight on him but it fit okay. He was still able to put the hoodie over his head comfortably and we weren't exactly going to a fashion parade so it didn't matter.<p>

We walked quietly up the street, both of us sucking on a cigarette nervously as we approached the end. We turned left but kept on the opposite side of the road as I had a good look around to see if anyone may have been lurking in their front yards or taking the rubbish out or walking their dogs at this hour. I had concluded that the only people who walked their dogs of a night time were perverts. Maybe not all of them but majority. Back in Bristol I remember coming home late one night and seeing the guy I was always a little suss about, walking his dog. A few houses from mine, the lady living there would always shower at roughly the same time. He hadn't seen me so he had no idea I was watching him and wondering what the hell he was doing. He had stopped right by a bush with his dog and was looking right at the ground level window of that lady's bathroom. During the day you couldn't see in. It was that misty type of glass. At night though it was a whole different story. With the bathroom light on and no curtain to cover the window, you could see the silhouette of a person quite clearly. If she stood close enough to that window, you would be able to see what colour robe she had on. He just stood there, smoking a cigarette and had he had a box of popcorn you would have thought he was enthralled in a very entertaining movie. I crossed the road and purposely dragged my feet against the tar, kicking up a few stones. He didn't look over at me, instead he looked down at his dog and said "Come on boy, I don't want ya pissin' in the house" just loud enough for me to hear it. The dog was just an excuse. No one would question him as to why he was standing there. He was just a man walking his dog. Clever but a fucking sick bastard. God knows how many other windows he stopped at along the way home. He would know everyone's routine that bloke…

Anyway, no one was around and it was probably due to this side of the street being a cul-de-sac. No one had a reason to come down this far unless they lived here. It was a bonus for David and me as the street had no lighting whatsoever so if anyone did hear us and had a peek through the window, they would have a very hard time in seeing us and would just probably palm the noise off as a neighbour's cat or something. We stopped on the opposite side of the SAS bloke's house and waited there for a good 10 minutes. I didn't see any movement or any lights on which indicated to me that no one else lived there or was home.

"Come on, let's get this over with." I whispered to David.

He nodded his head and we both crossed the street and slipped past the front gate of house number 47. There was a small lane along the side of the house that didn't have a fence up so we snuck quietly down it to gain access to the backyard. It was safer to try and get in from the back rather than the front. We had more cover.

"This one here." I said pointing at the last window on the side of the house.

"Ya can't break it." David whispered in shock. "We'll get sprung."

I rolled my eyes at him. Did he really think I was that stupid? I couldn't help but smirk at the guy. He really thought that I hadn't been around. I knocked around a few heavies in my time and learnt a thing or two. I think I'll have to have a little chat to David on another occasion. I didn't like people thinking I was brought up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I had worked hard for the things I have now. None of it was given to me. The last thing I wanted people to think was that I was just some 'Toorak Yuppie' as the saying goes in a certain part of Australia, Victoria I think it was... if I remember correctly. I heard it said once from a guy I knew who came to London. I liked the way it sounded.

I pulled out a small pocket knife that had a longish thin blade and used it to break the old lock on the window.

"You've done that before." David whispered into my ear.

"Possibly." I replied with a wink. "Give us a boost." I said as I positioned myself holding onto the pane of the window.

The strength of David… Jesus Christ, he nearly made go arse over head into the fucking house.

"Oh shit… sorry sunshine."

"Fuckin'… It's okay… you comin'?" I asked as I stuck my head out of the window trying not to laugh as I pictured what had happened from a third person's perspective. It would have looked hilarious. Definitely something worthy of the old Benny Hill Show…

"Nah, you go ahead blondie… someone should keep an eye out. I'll knock on this here window if ya need to get a move on…"

I nodded and turned. I pulled my phone out and used the flash as a torch to navigate my way through. The house was spotless and everything was in perfect order. I guess the dude being in the army learnt to keep everything in its rightful place all neat and tidy. I made a mental note to touch as little as possible and anything I did touch I used the sleeve of my jacket to not leave any prints just in case. If I didn't put it back exactly the same way I had found it, I have no doubt Mr SAS would notice it. That's how meticulously placed everything was. On the upside though, it was easy to move around the house without the fear of knocking something over so that was a plus. I walked down the long hallway looking for a study. I didn't know if he'd have one but being as he was so organised he would have one corner of this house reserved for his letters etc. and as I continued down I found what I was looking for. A neat little wooden desk, kind of like those old antique ones with all the carvings in the wood. The type you would expect to see in a grand old Victorian mansion complete with cigar box. On top was a computer which I didn't bother with. It was turned off and more than likely a password would be needed so I opened up the several desk drawers in hopes that he had bills or letters or anything that would be addressed to him with his name on it. I didn't find anything in the drawers except for stationary but on further inspection of the room, there was a filing cabinet in the corner.

"Fuck… I need a key." I mumbled to myself.

But I noticed that the cabinet was one of those old ones where if you didn't push yourself up against all the drawers, only the ones that had that added pressure would be locked. I checked each of them and a HUGE fucking smile spread across my face as the second last one was as open as that fucking window I had crawled through.

(Gotcha)

I carefully looked through the files stored into that particular drawer making sure not to mess up the order and found an old gas receipt. There was nothing much in that draw that I felt was important but his name at least I would learn.

**Mr. William Atkins**

"Nice to meet ya Billy." I said to myself as I looked at his name and address with a satisfied smirk.

I quickly put the piece of paper away into the folder I had extracted it from and closed the drawer. I had a sweep around the room to make sure I hadn't knocked anything out if its place or possibly didn't close a desk drawer properly but all was in order. I heard the faint tap of the window and my heart leaped out of my chest for a brief moment in panic but I shook it away, got hold of my bearings and was right as rain. The thought of someone coming home was the first thing that popped into my head and I wouldn't make it to the window. I would be caught red-handed with my pants down basically but I never heard a car pull up or the roller door go down or the rattle of keys as someone went to put it into the door so Vinnie must have called to tell David that William had just left the club. Assuming he was coming straight here, I had a good 40 minute window to get out and as far away from this place as possible. There was nothing to worry about…

I felt the blood drain from my face as my phone's flash caught sight of a medium sized photo hanging on the wall. I was stuck there frozen and staring at it with my mouth open in complete fucking shock. It was unexpected. He was a fucking bluey. A fucking cop. No, sorry correction. A dirty fuck-ing cop. They are the worst. They are the lowest of the low. A criminal with a fucking badge…

I heard another light tap on the window from David and quickly took a shot of the photo with my phone. I walked hurriedly back down the hallway and into the room from which I came. I dove out the window without thinking twice and all I can say is thank fuck David was switched on because had he not caught me, I would have been rushed to the emergency with a fractured skull.

"You alright boss?"

"He's a… David, he's a fucking jack."

"What?"

"We… we need to go. Come on, quickly." I said grabbing his arm roughly and dragging him behind me in a panic. Jail was not the place I wanted to end up in.

I was stressing. I had just broken into a cop's house. The bastard has a license to kill and he'd be in the right. I knew we had a heap of time to get out of there but the thought was a fucking unnerving one. Both David and me needed to get as far away as fucking possible. Jesus Christ.

(FUCK, the window.)

I quickly jogged back up the side of the house and closed it, fixing the old lock quickly and then double checking that it still worked. It did… Thank fuck. I took off my beanie and used it to wipe the places I had touched and put it back on before David and me exited the property through the front gate. We both walked hurriedly up the dead end street and turned right and slowed back down. I felt much more relaxed now. We were a decent distance away from Billy's place and fuck did I need a fag. I pulled my packet out and offered one to David who graciously accepted. I took one for myself and lit it, drawing the smoke back deeply and exhaling heavily.

"Oi, what you two doin' out there?" I heard a voice say. It was definitely a woman's voice and she sounded elderly. Go figure. They have nothing better to do but sit by the window and sticky nose.

I heard the ladies front door open and the shuffle of her slippers as she walked down the little path that led to the street in her flowery pink dressing gown.

"Fuck, blondie… whatta we do?" David whispered.

"Good evening ma'am, how are you this gloriously clear and starry night?" I said looking up at the sky and speaking in the most proper fucking voice I have ever spoken in. It almost made me sick.

She stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me suspiciously.

"What's this about?" She replied.

I walked slowly towards her and stopped a few meters short before speaking again.

"Do you think you could lend us some of your time dear?"

"What the fuck for?"

(Ooh feisty nanna)

"Have you received the word of the Lord?"

She glared at me and then looked to David.

"Piss off you fucking bible bashers. I've had enough of you people. All you do is hound the elderly and rob them of their pension. Bastards the lot of ya's" She said, making her way to the tap and turning it on. She picked up the hose and pointed it at me.

"Go on… fuck off before I spray the fuck outta ya's both."

I put my hands up in a surrendering motion and reached into my pocket knowing I had a take away menu in there from a few nights ago. I pulled it out and held it up and went to put it in her letter box pretending it was a brochure for something religious. The granny sprayed my hand and drenched the piece of paper.

"Don't you even fuckin' think about it." She said aggressively. "Piss off before I shove a fuckin bible up ya arse…"

(HAHAHAHAHAHA I like her)

The dear little thing. She was so frail looking and petite but boy did she have a bark on her. I guess when you're that age that's all you have really. You can't physically protect yourself so you use your voice and a few harsh words to warn people off... I decided I had played with her enough to get any suspicion out of her mind. I didn't want her gossiping about two young and suspicious looking people wondering around the streets. She thinks we were just "bible bashers" as she put it so she won't even give it a second thought… hopefully.

"Well you have a lovely evening ma'am." I said bowing my head. "… and God bless you."

"Bless this." She said spraying me with the hose and drenching my clothes completely. Fuck was it cold. It caused me to gasp as I felt my body tense and then shiver as the cool night breeze wrapped itself around me like a blanket… a very cold fucking blanket.

(I must come back and speak with this lady. She's awesome.)

David and me walked hurriedly up the street towards where the car was parked. I had been holding in a fit of laughter but as soon as we turned the corner and I knew Super Granny was out of ear shot, I let it go. I was hysterical. David couldn't help himself either and started laughing his arse off too.

Once I got myself under control, I suddenly remembered the whole reason as to why we were there and briefly shit myself because I had lost track of time. I didn't want Billy spotting us. No doubt he'd recognise both myself and David from the club. Just being in the vicinity of his place of residence would raise an eyebrow. It's not like he lived around the corner from where I worked.

"Come on mate, we better go." I said.

"Right you are blondie." David replied still chuckling and getting into the front passenger seat of the vehicle.

I took off immediately and went down a few side streets to avoid the main road in case he recognised the car as we headed straight back to the club. When we got there, I had passed Angel in the hallway, which led to my office. She didn't say anything but gave a set of evils in passing that I was sure would cause my heart to cease. She was kind of scary when she looked like that. I couldn't be bothered explaining where I had been and why David was with me so I just continued on to my office and locked myself away for the night. As usual, I found myself thinking long and hard about Emily, trying to piece everything together but I never could so I moved on to this William bloke. He obviously has something over Emily and being a cop… well he had a paying job so I assumed that greed got the better of him. He was on the take. Maybe the best way to tackle this is to confront him directly. I won't threaten him even though I was in a good position too. Him being a cop and all, I had plenty on him to get the 'Rat Squad' on his arse. Possibly get him kicked off the force. The jail time though, he may not receive and even if he did, I'm sure he would have a vendetta against me so that path wasn't the smartest one to take. No, I would approach him in a different manner. I won't even bring the cop thing up. It's obviously money that he wants, so it will be money he will get. I will offer to pay whatever debt might be owed or tell him to name his price to release Emily. It almost sounds like I'm buying her doesn't it? That makes me feel kind of wrong and fucking dirty like it was a sex slave business and I'm about to place the highest bid. Jesus. This is so fucked up beyond imagination. I have to remind myself that it's her 'freedom' I'm buying, not her just to give myself that extra boost or motivation to actually talk to the bloke and offer whatever he wants. I didn't know what I was going to say exactly and I'd probably make a fool of myself but honestly, I didn't care. Desperate times call for desperate measures and money is what I had a lot of.

* * *

><p>Well as expected, Angel was still in the shits with me. She hardly spoke to me at all and every time Emily was around, I felt awfully fucking nervous because I was waiting for shit to pop off. Emily knew Angel didn't like her. It was plain as day. In fact, everyone knew something was up. It was making work life very uncomfortable to the point of waking up in the morning and not wanting to go in. Angel had been watching Emily like a hawk and I could just tell that she was waiting to swoop the minute Emily did something wrong. She'd show her the door but she needed a legitimate excuse. Angel wasn't silly and I could read her like a book. She was waiting for Emily to put one foot wrong so when she did fire her, the club wouldn't be faced with an unfair dismissal claim. Not something you want against your name when you own a business. Even though personally I didn't think Emily would make such a fuss, Angel didn't trust her and she liked to do everything by the book to avoid lawsuits such as those which was fair enough in that respect but that didn't mean I was happy with the attitude Angel was giving Emily.<p>

**SLAM**

"Jesus…" I gasped, jumping in my seat. I turned quickly, no doubt three shades whiter and clutching onto the wireless mouse that belonged to my computer like my life depended on it.

"This is fucking bullshit Naoms." Angel yelled aggressively.

I just stared at her confused as all fuck.

"All this… Everything. It's fucking fucked." She said with her arms waving around like a mad woman.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"What the fuck do you think? Look what she's done? She's got in between you and fucking Lia for one but oh no that's not enough. Let's not stop there… she has to get right in between us too."

"Angel… it's not her doing it." I simply replied.

"No? Who the fuck is then?" she said, her tone still loud.

I sighed heavily. I really was over all this awkwardness and fighting and the fucking agitation and every-fucking-thing else. When will it fucking end?

"You are. If you just let me do what I have to concerning Emily, we wouldn't be here now, would we?" I replied.

"Fuck you Naomi… She's the fucking cause of all this. She won't be happy until she destroys you. Until you're sittin' in the gutter out in the fucking street." She said pointing towards the main road outside.

Angel stayed glaring at me and waiting for a response.

"Look, just calm down okay? Sit down." I said as calmly as possible. I didn't want to argue with her. She was my best friend; no she was more than that. I was an only child and would never know what it would be like to have a brother or a sister but having Angel, I would imagine it be like that. She was my sister. She was family. Families do fight every now and then but they move on from it most of the time. That is what I wanted to do with Angel. Stop this madness and move on so we could get back to our regular happy selves. If Emily was truly hell bent on "destroying" me as Angel put it, I wouldn't let her ruin my relationship with Angel. I don't think Emily was… I mean she kept to herself most of the time and the whole thing with Lia was really at the end of the day, my doing but for Angel, an outsider looking in and not knowing what has been happening, I can see why she thinks Emily has been purposely sabotaging my life.

(Should you tell her Naoms? Should you tell her what's been going on with Emily so she understands?)

I had asked myself that question so many times. I've wanted to tell Angel because I knew I could trust her with the information and you know, two brains are better than one type of thing but every time I was going to bring it up, I hesitated and second guessed myself. I couldn't bring myself to tell her. I was disappointed in Emily and it was shattering that she had chosen such a life for herself and I don't know… I didn't want Angel thinking worse of her. It wasn't because I was ashamed of Emily; it was more of a protection thing I think but I guess I was going to have to suck it up if I wanted me and Angel to be okay. I know Angel had been thinking about everything nonstop. Trying to work out why my life and my behaviour had changed so much in these last few months since Emily's been back.

Angel hadn't moved from her standing position.

"Ang please… sit."

She rolled her eyes and roughly sat in the chair in front of my desk. I sighed heavily preparing myself for what I was about to tell her. I didn't know how to fucking say it. How do you tell someone something like this? "Emily's a hooker. She meets up with strange men and gets paid to fuck them." I couldn't say it like that…

"Naomi, I'm fucking worried yeah? You and me haven't been the same since she's been back… She's…"

"Angel… you've got it all wrong. Emily isn't trying to do anything."

Angel scoffed but didn't say anything.

"Look, I need to tell you something and I need you to listen to me carefully. I need you to understand why I'm keeping her around."

"Oh I know why Naomi…" She interrupted.

I knew she was alluding to sex. I could see it written all over her fucking face and to be honest, it pissed me the fuck off but no, I wasn't going to explode in anger. Little did she know, Emily and me weren't sleeping together so she can get that fucking thought right out of her head. It happened one time.

"No Angel… you don't know."

"Yeah whatever Naoms."

I rolled my eyes and decided to ignore her. It was going off track and we'd just end up arguing again which I was trying so hard not to do. I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"There are some thing's going on with Emily that you don't know about because I haven't told you."

"Yeah? What might that be?" Angel said, her voice laced heavily with attitude.

"Have you noticed a bloke that's been comin' in lately? He sits in the back on his own; he has a tat on his arm, like the SAS emblem?"

"Yeah so? What's he got to do with anything?"

"He's a cop… one who's on the take." I replied.

I was hoping Angel would catch on before I had to actually say "Emily has been working for him as a call girl." But she just frowned in confusion and obviously the above statement wasn't enough information for her to work it out anyway.

"Emily and him are known to each other. He has her…" I sighed... I needed to pause. It was one thing to think about it but it was an entirely different thing to actually voice it, to actually say it out loud. I think in this case, blurting it out would be best. There was no other way to say it, not one I could think of right this very minute.

"Angel… Emily's a prostitute."

"Get the fuck outta here." Angel said. "What do you take me for?"

I didn't say anything. Knowing Angel so well, keeping silent and letting what I said sink in properly, she would realise soon enough that I was being dead serious. Her face went from a "Yeah right." expression to one of shock, disbelief with a mix of sadness and slight confusion.

"No… that's not… Naomi are you being serious?" She asked, her attitude long gone.

I nodded slowly and sadly.

"How could… no… why… what the fuck Naomi? Why are you letting her?" She said getting up from her chair. "I'll kill her." She said as she walked towards the office door. I lunged over my desk and grabbed her arm firmly, forcing her back and away from the door.

(I guess Angel didn't hate her as much as I thought)

"No… you can't say anything. Promise me you won't say anything." I pleaded. "She doesn't know I know." I said.

The night Emily and me had argued and she punched me right in the mouth I had made mention of it. I had called her regrettably, a slut and a call girl but we hadn't spoken further about it. I don't know if she clicked and realised I knew. Maybe she just thought I was referring to when we slept together… Like it was my way of saying that it was just a fuck or maybe she didn't even hear the whole thing. It's possible. When you're angry you tend to focus on one thing more than others. I had called her a "call girl" and that's what got her pissed off to begin with. The rest might have gone in one ear and out the other because she was purely focused on the call girl statement. I know it's happened to me before… If Emily did know that I knew, she hadn't let on so it was best for now to just keep it hush. There was a 50 per cent chance she knew and there was a 50 per cent chance she didn't. I liked to play things safe so not mentioning it was the road I wanted to take at this moment in time.

"Naomi, fucking hell… you can't let her do this… what is wrong with you?"

"I'm not letting her Angel." I sighed heavily. "Do you really think she's gonna listen to either one of us if we tell her to fucking stop anyway? She won't. She won't listen."

Angel glared towards me and seemed to get riled up even more. I thought she was fucking pissed at me for a second but it was the situation that had her angry as all fuck.

"I'll break her fucking legs."

I realise it was a serious conversation. A VERY serious one but fucking hell I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. The thoughts one sentence can trigger within a split second is unbelievable when you think about it. You're going to think I'm fucking warped and twisted but when Angel said "I'll break her fucking legs" I pictured Emily standing on the corner with both her legs fully casted, mini skirt and all…

"What the fuck is wrong with you Naomi? This is serious." Angel said nudging me hard in the shoulder.

(Why does everyone think there is something wrong with me? Asked twice within a matter of 5 fucking minutes, geez)

I got myself under control.

"I'm…" I exhaled loudly. "I'm sorry… continue." I said pursing my lips to stop myself from laughing again.

Angel frowned and analysed me for a long moment. Because she knew me so well, I think she caught on to what I was thinking.

"Oh that is just fucking horrible Naoms…"

"What?" I grinned.

"Yeah, Emily pickin' up Johns with casts on her legs… ha-ha that is so funny." She answered sarcastically.

"It was a little." I replied.

Angel ignored me completely and looked around the room as she ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"What are we going to do about this? We can't let her do it anymore Naoms. It's not right." She said saddened. "It's… it's Emily."

"What happened to you not trustin' her Ang?" I asked with my eyebrow raised.

"I still don't but this is different. Something's not right; this isn't the Emily we once knew. She would never do this and you know that." She responded deep in thought. She was far inside her mind as she answered. Her eyes were on me but I could tell she wasn't really seeing me.

A good few minutes went passed as we both stood silent in the room I call my office.

"Ang… you alright?" I asked when she seemed to still be away with the fairies.

She snapped out of it and looked me dead in the eye.

"I'm fuckin' shattered if you must know." She said flatly. "I should never have fucked off that day. I shoulda stayed with her when the cunting ambulance got there…"

"This isn't your fault if that's what you're thinking. We don't know what happened to her durin' these last six years because we weren't there. She…"

"Exactly Naomi. We weren't fucking there." She cut in. "And we should have been."

"You know why I couldn't stay…"

"It doesn't fucking matter, does it? We both left her with that fucking Jenna bitch. She didn't stand a chance."

"Angel…"

She cut me off again.

"Where the fuck is Katie?"

I was so fucking caught up in what was happening with Emily; believe it or not I had completely forgotten that Emily was a twin. Can you believe that shit? How could I forget something like that? What the fuck is wrong with my brain? I'm getting dumber in my old age.

"I don't know. Emily hasn't mentioned her." I said wondering why the fuck she hadn't. A bad feeling settled within my chest as I thought of the worse possible scenario. Katie was dead and that is why Emily hadn't spoken of her… Obviously I was letting my imagination run wild but I couldn't shake the unsettling thought.

"What are you doing about this? Or were you planning on just letting her go?" Angel said accusingly.

"I'm handling it okay." I spat out, my voice laced with anger. Fuck me, what did she think? I was just going to let Emily carry on selling her body? Jesus fucking Christ.

"Then why is she still doing this? How long have you known for?"

"Fucking…" I stopped talking and sighed trying to keep a lid on my anger. "I don't know, a while. I can't just go in guns blazing can I? There's a cop involved."

"Fuck him… I'll give him fucking copper right up his fucking ar…"

"Ang, don't be stupid. You know we have to be careful with how we handle this."

The fire in Angel's eyes seemed to fade away slightly as her hate for the police or any authority figure really settled down to a minimum. She knew she had to keep her cool. One wrong move and she was back inside with her record and no one, I don't care who you are wants to be staring at four walls 23 hours a day in captivity.

"Well tell me what you have planned then because you're obviously going to need help with this. You can't do it on your own." She said with the aggressiveness she displayed before no longer present.

"I'm not. David's been helping me."

Angel squinted and just as quick as the aggression left, it returned.

"What? Are you telling me you told that fucking bastard before me, your best friend? Are you fucking serious? We grew up together for fucks sake."

(FUCK MY LIFE)

"Angel, he only knows because he was there when I saw Emily the first time okay… Listen, I don't want to fight with you anymore. I'm fucking over it."

Lately between me and Angel, every little thing seems to spark an argument as you can see. It was becoming ridiculous. Who gives a fuck about who knew first? I mean yeah okay, I get why she might be a little annoyed. We had grown up and been through a lot together and me not confiding in her would have hurt her a little. It kind of screamed "I don't trust you" but I can't help how things worked out can I? I didn't plan on David knowing first.

"Look, I promise tonight after work I'll explain everything. I could come to yours or we can go out for dinner or something okay but I can't do this right now and neither can you because it'll just end up in a fucking argument Ang…"

She stayed silent and appeared to be deep in thought. I knew she knew I made sense. We were both riled up and talking about all this shit while being like that would just end up in a screaming match and it wouldn't be very professional of us would it, behaving that way in our place of business?

Angel nodded her head and agreed finally after several minutes had passed. She said that going to hers would be the better option. It wasn't something she wanted to discuss in public and in the middle of a restaurant which was fair enough. I told her I'd be there at around 7ish and then she left and went back to work. I leaned back on my chair and lit a smoke, my feet automatically going up and onto the desk as I wished that the cigarette I was smoking would magically turn into a nice, big, fucking THC filled spliff…

* * *

><p>After I had spoken to Angel over a Chinese take away dinner that I had scoffed down rather quickly due to not eating for a couple days, I made my way home completely exhausted and with a full belly which since Emily has been back was a rare thing these days. Once I had smelled the scent of the sweet and sour chicken and fried rice, I just couldn't help myself. I ate the whole lot and left Angel reluctantly eating the steak and black bean dish we had planned to split. She was eyeing off the chicken but she knew I hadn't been eating and let me go. I hadn't even realised until afterwards that I had been an absolute pig and not even given Angel a second thought. I was a little embarrassed at how quickly I had demolished the whole container…<p>

When I walked in through the front door, Emily wasn't where she usually was at that time of night. As fucked as the situation was, we had both gotten into an awkward routine. When I came home from work, she was always sitting on the couch watching TV or listening to music. It was almost like she was waiting for me to say "Goodnight" before she tiredly went off to bed, dragging her feet completely exhausted from a long shift at the club and obviously from I suppose sleeping with however many people. Her second job. It's bound to tire anyone out innit?

(Stop it Naomi… there's no need for that.)

I walked slowly towards the kitchen listening out for any sound that would indicate that Emily was even home. I mean the lights were on and so was the TV and I know I shut everything off before I left for work in the morning. I knew Lia wouldn't be here, she had been acting a little on the strange side lately but given the situation it wasn't something out of the ordinary. I think she had moved on from the shattered stage and was now in the "I hate you" phase of the break up process. Time is what she needed. I still wanted to be friends with her and I did love her in my own way but obviously she was and will never be my one. Sooner or later it was going to end because I just couldn't give her what she wanted. It was too one sided the relationship. It was pretty much doomed from the start. I tried to move on from Emily, I even thought I had but when she resurfaced… It was clear that I hadn't. It is what is I suppose.

I opened the fridge in need of something fizzy and thanked my lucky stars that there was a little red can in there all on its lonesome. I cracked it open and leaned against the kitchen bench as I tilted my head back and gulped down 3 quarters of it. The taste of the cola was exactly what I needed. It hit the spot.

I burped louder than I had expected and jumped, scaring myself half to death. I almost asked who was there?

(Whoa Campbell… you pig. Say "excuse me." Jesus fucking Christ.)

Even though no one was around to hear it, I was always in the habit of saying excuse me or pardon me when stuff like that happened… It was polite.

The house was unusually silent for this time of night and it was actually quite eerie. I popped the coke can down on the bench and went for a wander down the hallway to see if Emily was home. I approached her bedroom door and slowly opened it, avoiding making any loud creaking noises in case she was already in bed fast asleep. She wasn't. I flicked the bedroom light on just to be sure but the answer stayed the same.

(That's weird, she's usually home by now…)

I couldn't help but start to feel a little worried. My mind automatically thinking the worse possible scenarios that could have played out while I was out. I shook off the bad thoughts and the bad feelings that accompanied them with a deep breath as I stood staring at the empty bed. As I went to close the bedroom door something that seemed out of place took my eye. Emily was always so neat. Everything had its rightful place. She wasn't one to leave anything sitting around. Well truth be told, it wasn't just sitting around. It was poking out a little from the drawer. It was a piece of paper, no it was thicker than that. It was like… what are they called?

(A manila folder?)

That's what it was. It was one of those manila folders. I stepped inside Emily's room and walked over to where the folder was situated, curiosity getting the better of me. I carefully opened the drawer, remembering how the folder was sitting so that I could put it back exactly how I found it. I opened up the first folder I saw and my eyes gazed upon a white label sticker that was placed at the back of what seemed to be a photo with the words…

**THE VELVET CURTAIN **

(What the fuck?)

I flipped it around and sure enough, it was a picture of my club. I dropped the photo and quickly flicked through the documents that were within that particular folder. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I came across documents that were highly fucking classified… personal. Things like the clubs gross earnings over the year, the names and addresses of past and present staff members, wages, taxes paid... How did she get this? Why has she got this?

I was confused as all fuck. I looked back in the drawer where there were more folders just like this one.

**Angelica aka Angel**

**Peaches (name unconfirmed)**

I opened Angel's folder and there were photos of her at work, at home, at her clothing store… pictures taken of her shopping. What the fuck is all this? I opened Peaches folder and sifted quickly through hers. There were several reports written up. Maybe one of them could fucking tell me something.

.

_**To whom it may concern,**_

_**On further surveillance on the Velvet Curtain, it has come to my attention that what was initially thought was in fact incorrect. I don't believe that the Velvet Curtain is being used to traffic illegal substances as a whole but I do believe without a doubt that it is being carried out by certain individuals working at the club unbeknownst to suspects Angelica "Angel" Burton and Naomi Campbell. There is nothing to indicate that they are involved in illegal drug trafficking (Refer to page 13 of this report) at this stage. Further investigation is still pending. **_

_**On the matter of prostitution, I have no reason to believe that the suspects named above have any involvement and again, this is being carried out by certain employees of the club privately. Further investigation is still pending. **_

_**Constable Emily Fitch**_

_**.**_

"What are you doing?"

I snapped my head around upon hearing Emily's voice. CONSTABLE. She's a fucking bluey. I… What the…

"GET YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU LYING FUCK." I said standing up and throwing the folder I was holding at Emily. I'm sure I should have felt hurt and betrayed in the worst possible fucking way but the only emotion I was feeling right this very second was fucking rage.

She seemed confused for a moment. My back had been turned when she entered the room. She hadn't seen me holding the folders. She looked down at what I had thrown and immediately lifted her head and looked at me completely fucking panicked. She stepped forward towards me with her arm extended.

"Naomi… It's not… Please don't… NAOMI PLEASE… let me explain." She stuttered.

"Don't fucking touch me Emily. I fucking mean it. Stay right there." I said completely outraged and pointing to the spot I wanted her to go no further than.

I didn't want to hear what she had to say. Had I not been so fucking angry with her, I was sure I would have burst out crying like a little bitch. She lied to me. All this time knowing how much I fucking care about her, love her… she's been lying to me. Shit hasn't been what I would call perfect between us, hell Emily doesn't even fucking like me but the feelings I had for her when we had been together as teenagers has never left me. All these years and I still feel the same way about her. Even when I am on my death bed despite of what has happened there will always be a special place within me that will ALWAYS house the love I have for her…

(She's a fucking rat Naoms… Has it not clicked in yet, hmm? She has you and everyone around you under IN-VEST-I-GATION)

I couldn't help myself. My brain and the anger I was feeling had taken over. Rather than stop and question her or even listen and take in what she was actually trying to say to me at that very moment, I opened her drawer and packed in as much as I could in the suit case she had sitting neatly up against the wall in the corner and dragged it behind me. Emily was talking but to be honest, I couldn't hear her. Well I could but it was just so muffled and faraway. I grabbed Emily's arm as I walked passed her and entered the hallway, dragging her much like I was the suit case and ignoring whatever the fuck she was saying to me. I pushed her out of the front door and picked up the suit case and threw it over her head and almost out onto the street. The door slammed shut directly after. She knocked on the door, she tried to plead with me but I wasn't hearing it. I was done. That was it. I had officially shut myself off. I didn't care anymore. I should have done this ages ago. Who the fuck was I kidding? Trying to get with Lia and be together and happy with her? It wasn't in my nature. I only allowed that to happen one time, when I literally bumped into a sweet, shy and I must say very attractive girl with red hair and the deepest brown eyes I have ever seen. She's dead now. She died 6 years ago. That was a different life time. A different place with different characters walking the stage. Whatever the fuck was outside, at the front of my house and knocking on my door… it wasn't anyone I knew. It was unrecognisable. I wanted nothing to do with her…

_**BANG BANG**_

"NAOMI PLEASE… LET ME IN. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS… DON'T SHUT ME OUT." She yelled through the door.

(Pfft.)

"Fuck off Emily." I replied with a level voice.

"PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR… PLEASE NAOMS. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. I SWEAR IT. I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU."

As soon as I heard that, I couldn't contain the laughter that erupted. I was hysterical. I could not stop. It all just seemed so funny. She would never do anything to hurt me? Did she seriously just say that? Did I fucking hear right or what?

"I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T DONE…"

AND UP goes the CD player. I didn't want to hear her anymore. I know once this anger subsides I'll be staring into the bottom of a wine bottle or maybe a vodka bottle… whichever. Anything alcoholic will do. I didn't have a preference right now but I'll be low and depressed and sulking like a little fucking baby, completely shattered that Emily could deceive me in such a way.

Since she had come back into my life, everything had been a fucking lie. Fooled by the only girl I have ever loved wholeheartedly.

(THAT FUCKING BITCH)

She probably fucking lied about trying to kill herself. She just wanted me to feel sorry for her. Trust her and let her in…

(No, Angel confirmed the story, remember babe? Her trying to kill herself was true.)

"Fucking cunt." I said out loud to myself, swinging my arm and knocking a vase off of its little stand. Shattered glass spraying all over my hard wood floor boards. As angry as I was, I still felt kind of bad for calling her that.

(Fuck her… she's a lying FUCK-ING snake.)

Wait… I'm under investigation? My club is under investigation?

(SHIT)

I ran back to Emily's room and picked up the folders and all of the paperwork… Jesus fucking Christ. She even had a file on Lia. This is fucking ridiculous. I took the folders with me and walked hurriedly to my study and sat down, sifting and organising the documents but not paying particular attention to what was written. I reached over and dialled a number, the number of someone who was in as much shit as I was. I should have listened to her. I should have known better but it was Emily. I would always make an exception for Emily…

"Ang… you need to come over. We have a problem…"

* * *

><p><strong>And there you have it... I hope you awesome people liked the chapter. You could always let me know in a review :D Thanks for reading.<strong>

**Once again, have a wonderful Christmas and a happy and safe New Year. **

**Lyrics used in this chapter:**

**- Obsession (No Es Amor) - Frankie J**

**- Run To Paradise - Choir Boys**


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